My daughter is almost 11 months old. Around 9 months I let her cry it out (really, against everything in my heart) because we all needed sleep and she was up every two hours to nurse.
She now only gets up once a night, which I allow, because she goes to bed so good around 8 and sleeps until 7, as long as I feed her for about ten minutes at night. So, that's all great...
...except that now, she feels like someone ought to hold her while she's napping. So instead of getting things done during nap time, I spend 1-2 hours, twice a day, sitting in front of the TV watching pointless daytime television. Sometimes I'll hand her off to Daddy, and she's okay with that too, but I'd really love to lay her down in her crib for the naps. Up until we changed her nighttime schedule, we always laid her down for naps. Now, if I even try, she is jumping and screaming, and there goes the whole nap!
Anyone been through this or have anything to try? Thanks in advance, I know I'll get some good advice!
I appreciate all the advice, and I think I will just continue to nurse her to sleep for her naps (like I do now) and try to put her down...the problem is, if she wakes up and night she generally goes back to sleep, but every time I lay her down for her nap she immediately wakes, stands up, and starts screaming and jumping. It isn't the same as at night. So I'll keep trying, but I'm not willing to let her "scream it out." Some of you had some helpful suggestions that I will try! :)
And to the someone who wrote about losing their child and having those memories...God bless you, and my prayers for you. I often have that thought...like, how long will I have the chance to do this? It is sharing some very precious time, and I wish I had held my number one more than I did because I know I would have more memories of her young years.
I don't know how this will work for you, but have you tried the pick up/put down method? Where you hold her til she's calm but then lay her in her bed when she is?
We had to do CIO for nap times for about 3 days, as well, once they got it for both, we were golden. It sucks, but if you want her to learn to sleep alone, you have to enforce sleeping alone at bedtime and naps.
Do you do that same type of soothing to sleep routine before naps and bed. We do, we always have a book or two, soothing music that plays during the whole nap, and both kids rooms have the insulated blackout type of curtains.
Good Luck, be consistent and she will come around, just like she did with night time sleep.
Jessie
My son is the same age. I just put him down for nap at nap time and that's it. He may fuss or cry but for the most part, he knows what to do at nap time. I make sure he's been up for 3 hours before I put him down. Good luck!
My Daughter is just over a year old, I have went through that with her, I can get her to nap in her bunk (crib) very often . Most of the time she naps with me . What i do is she sleeps on my tummy once she is out cold and How i know she is out cold she drops her binky. Once that is gone it is ok to lay her down for nap/bedtime. That is the only way i can get her to nap if she has that, If she wont nap in her crib , let her nap on the couch or the floor or maybe the pack n play . I have tryed these. Once you know she is out cold lay her down . hope this helps
I just struggled with my 11 month old and naps about a month ago, he finally just went back to napping great for no apparent reason. Once he started pulling up in the crib it caused problems. For us it is all about consistency. We have the same naptime routine we go through so he knows what to expect. When he starts showing signs of being tired we nurse, read two stories and I put him in bed and leave. If he stands up and gets really upset I will get him and we watch 5-10 minutes of a cartoon while he settles back down and then I put him back in bed. Some days he simply won't take a morning nap so we just cope the best we can until after lunch and he will usually take an extra long afternoon nap. I have a 4yo so I don't really have the option of fighting with him or cuddling all through naptime like I did with my first. I recently let him "CIO" at bedtime because he was fighting sleep and staying up until 1am. He was clearly ready since he only cried the first two days and now just goes to sleep beautifully. I am usually totally against CIO but with his personality I felt it was the only way to do it. He is the most stubborn baby and gets really mad if he doesn't get his way. We still get up 1-2 times a night to nurse and while I am perfectly OK with once a night the nights with 2 wakings really gets to me. Ohh...when we started letting him CIO at night it messed up naps for a few days but he quickly got back to normal.
I hope things get easier for you soon! Just stay consistent and firm with what you expect. They are just getting to the age when they are starting test their boundaries and while we want to be gentle "attached" parents we still need to let them know who is in charge.
She'll continue to want to be held during nap the longer you hold her for nap. Same as her nightwaking. If CIO worked for you at night, the same should hold true for nap. If you don't want to let her CIO then have a quick naptime routine (lunch, story, diaper, )lay her down, say nap nap and leave. Return if she is crying and lay down again. Repeat until she knows what the pattern is. Its gonna be difficult at first since she now equates naptime with being held but it will work eventually. Just be consistent--if you keep leaving and returning to settle her over and over and then give in it will only get worse since she will then think that if she just screams long enough you'll give in. Good luck
.
Aww poor little thing. My thought is hold her during her naps. I loved cuddling with my granddaughter on the rocking chair when she napped and that time goes so fast! She feels secure in your arms and soon she will be so busy she won't want to nap or be held for long. Those are memories that are priceless. I can't tell you if there was dust in my house any given moment but I can tell you that rocking and holding a baby is pure love and such a gift from God. My baby died last summer at the age of 22. The house we lived in when he was a baby is long gone but my memories of holding him and watching him grow is what keeps him close to me now. I promise you that when she is 2 she won't be wanting to be held while she sleeps, so take advantage of it right now.
I have said it before... crying it out is teaching distrust in the world. It takes the sense of security away from them. So what if you have to lay next to a 2 year old and read to her a couple stories and sing some songs.... the more time you spend with you being her/his world, the better the pay off when they are preteens and teenagers.
You need to just put her down and let her cry. I know, everyone hates CIO but honestly, you are letting an 11 month old run the show. You are spending 2-4 hours a day sitting on the couch and watching mindless televesion b/c you don't want her to cry? What's going to happen when she's 2 and refusing to nap altogether unless you are laying with her?
The whole point of CIO is not to get your child to sleep through the night (that's the bonus outcome for you), it's to teach your child that she has the ability to soothe herself into sleep and that she doesn't need to be "soothed" externally. Your daughter hasn't learned that skill yet, as evidenced by the fact that she still can't sleep through the night (which she should be by now) and the fact that she can't fall asleep on her own. At this age, there is no "nutritional" need to be eating in the middle of the night.
This is going to be a very long battle if you don't fight it now. Put her down in her crib, turn off the monitor's sound (if you have a video monitor) and let her cry. No, it's not fun. Yes, it will break your heart. Yes, you will have several days of "no nap", but come on! She's nearly one and she knows that if she "peeps" you come running.
Her nap time is "wasted" time for you anyway, so go through the CIO process again with her naps. Be consistent and take back your "parenting".
CIO is your problem. She is unsure.
That is just my opinion.
M.
ill bet she was just going through a growth spurt. nursing frequently is a sign of growth; she has to increase milk to increase growth.
im sorry that you had to go through that. :( im telling you its exhausting.
heres my solution: get a moby wrap. you will NOT regret it, and you can use it a lot longer than you think. we used it for my 3 1/2 yr old son last summer. they are amazing.
just remember that the CIO likely led to this insecurity about sleep. its not that you did anything wrong, you did what felt right for your family, and thats ok. but it can make kids unsure about sleep. so just do what you can, but i highly recommend the moby.
With my son, is that I would lay him down in my bed (I put up the toddler guard rails on both sides of the bed) I would sleep next to him for 10-20 minutes till he was out, then I would slowly move away from him till I was off the bed. I'd set up the monitor in my room and then go and do the things I needed. Peek in from time to time, too. But that for a while was the only way I got things done.
