Off Shoot from High School Sweetheart Question - Regrets?

oooh girl!! no I do not regret or think I missed out.

I sowed my oats in my 20s and got married at 23 - yikes! and had a kid!! double yikes!!

I would NEVER be embarrassed to tell friends that I had only been with one - that's WONDERFUL!!! The world needs more people like you! I cannot say I've only had one. That's my choice. There are times I look back and kick myself - but hind sight is 20/20....

I'm on the other end of this. I did not get married until I was 29. And, GASP, my husband is my one and only and I am his one and only. Yep, that's right, we were both virgins when we got married. On purpose, not because we didn't have the opportunity. As Christians, we did that to honor God, believing that sex is an amazing gift that God gives to married people for use within marriage. I know this post isn't about waiting or not waiting to have sex until you get married, but I gotta say, how awesome that you've only been with one guy. Whether you are a Christian or not, I think it's awesome. I have friends (Christians and non-Christians) that "sowed their wild oats" before getting married and almost every single one of them regrets it. One said to me, when I was 25, "you could go out tonight and be like me (not be a virgin anymore), but there's nothing I can do to get back what I gave away to all those guys". I guess my point is this: I LOVE the fact that I've only been with my husband and he's only been with me. And for the people out there who think I don't have "experience" and didn't get my fun in, I say this: Yeah, I don't know what it's like to be with another man. But, after 7 years of marriage and 3 kids, my husband and I have an amazing marriage, and an amazing sex life. And none else has been "invited" into our sex life by way of past partners. It's just us, and that's an amazing bond.
Whether you are a Christian or not, I encourage you to be proud of the fact that your's and your husband's bodies belong to each other. That is a very cool thing. And God created sex to be fun, too :)

Right, so I'll buck the trend. First, no one can tell you if you missed out. Only you can answer that question for yourself. Since you can't go back and change history, you only know what you know and you live with what you have. You sound happy though, so go with that. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You and your husband have something very special, that's awesome. Good for you.

I think you're asking what it's like to be with other people so you can compare it to what you have. A lot of people who have experiences similar to yours are telling you that people who sleep around generally regret it. Maybe in those circles, yes, but I'll tell you my experience for a different perspective.

One, it's not all about clubbing, bar hopping, drinking, and meaningless hook ups. When you are really young (teens-20 or so) life is like that a little bit. Mostly, you are just selfish. You do what you want, when you want, and it's a really unique time where you get to know yourself. You make mistakes, you do stupid things, and then you start to grow up. I definitely don't want to be 20 again, but I don't regret what I learned or the mistakes I made either (I'm really not limiting this to just sex, there is a lot more out there than that).

But with respect to sex in particular, I'm married now and I am SO glad I had the sexual experiences I did. If you are in a healthy place, with a good understanding of who you are and what you want (vs. looking for love in all the wrong places) it can be a fabulous time in your life. I met my husband when I was 22 and sometimes I wish I had had even more time to explore. Not because my husband is anything less than amazing for me, it was just fun and exciting and...educational :) There is a rush to kissing someone for the first time or even just touching them. It's fantastic. If I could bottle it, I'd be a billionaire.

I am clearly not invested in any faith based decision making here so if someone reads this and wants to comment on what a soulless sinner I am, it's just a difference in opinion, okay? Not all sexual experiences are "sex and the city" but I'm not exactly cuddled up in a corner weeping over my "regrets." I have no regrets, and neither should you. Was hooking up with and dating different guys fun for me? Absolutely. Was meeting the man of your dreams at 17 wonderful and fun for you? Absolutely. I suppose you and your husband could always play "meeting for the first time" and go to a hotel or bar or something. That could be fun maybe you could try it. It kind of gives you that thrill I was talking about before.

Either way, cheers to you, have fun, love your husband, and do what you need to do to preserve your great relationship. No regrets, just love. Lucky you.

Well I'm not sure that I "missed out" on anything, but sometimes I do wonder what things would have been like, had I been out and about, so to say. I have been with my husband since I was 15. I have only ever been with him, and we waited for 3 years to even have sex. I don't think I would have been happier with anyone else though. He is a great man, lover, friend, provider, and father to our kids. He is a hard worker around the house, and does anything for us, as we do for him. I think that thinking about what could have been is dangerous for a lot of people. And another thing, it is great to say that you have been together with your husband for so long. That doesn't happen a lot.

I had experiences before my husband but my husband never had a long-term relationship before me. Even though he was close to 30 when we got together, his longest relationship was 2 months long, not because he was scared of committment but because he didn't see the point in wasting time with someone he knew he wasn't going to marry. I was so flattered that he knew almost right away that I was the One but as time wore on, and especially when we hit bumps in our marriage, I always worried that he regretted not having more experiences and that he didn't really know what he wanted b/c he didn't have those experiences. He always assured me that he didn't feel that way but it's hard not to wonder!

I, am on the other side of this.

I had BAD older teen years. I was promiscuous, very. I'm not proud of it in any way. I was a really messed up person then. Then that went to me getting with my b/f at 21, had our first baby when i was 22..We've been together ever since. So i had that time to do all that, and I wish I didn't.
I wish I could have been lucky enough to meet my b/f WAY earlier in life.
We've been friends for 8 years. been dating for 6. He is my best friend.

I DO sometime feel, while being 26 with 2 kids. That I "missed" out on the going bar hopping and hanging with friends. That I wish I had more of, but o well :)

From the other side of the spectrum, I would say that what you "missed out on" is a pile of regrets. I never dated a ton of guys. None for more than 6 months at the most (if he wasn't "the one" why waste my time?) until my bestie set me up with my now husband. We were together for just barely less than 2 years on the date of our marriage, and we were both 28, so had had our fill of "sampling"(?)...
While I do appreciate that what I experienced (good and bad) helped shape me into the person I am today, and the person I was when hubby and I began dating, mostly what I think about when remembering those experiences and that time in my life is regret. And yes, even shame.
So please do NOT regret having skipped all that.

Gotta opt out on this one :)

I've been with my husband since I was 16 (I'm 38 now), and I have no regrets about it at all. I have a feeling that I would have been super promiscuous in my 20s, with no parents or curfew, and, while I might have enjoyed it at the time, I would be regretting it by now. I don't believe anyone should be ashamed to have slept with more than one guy, but I am proud that I've only been with one. And I love that we have a shared history dating back to high school and college. (My one regret is that we both lived with our respective parents and commuted to college to save money. If I had it to do over again, I probably would insist that we live on-campus and have the whole dorm/roommate experience.)

I started dating my now husband when I was 14 and he was 16. We have never seriously dated other people. Early in our relationship we split up for about 9 months and we both went on a few dates, but were never exclusive with anyone else, nor have either of us ever "been with" anyone else. We got back together just before he left for college. We spent many of our dating years living in different towns, and a couple times in different states. I do believe in the saying that distance makes the heart grow fonder, when we got to see each other about one weekend a month or so, let's just say we made up for lost time :) Over the years we both got our separate college experiences and went out with friends. I was actually always glad I was not always trolling for men like my friends were, I could just have fun and not worry about "hooking up" with anyone by the end of the night. I even felt like the fact that I was not on the prowl made me feel freer and more confident. And as I grew older and continue to hear about friends and their dating drama, I am as glad as ever that I met my true love so early and have already had so much time to be with him. We have now been together for 20 years and married for 12, have 4 wonderful children. I have never had any regrets or felt I missed out on anything.

In many ways I wondered what it would have been like if I had married my first love. Would have been married by 23, had my kids by then etc. Didn't happen. I was too scared to go through with it, or maybe I didn't love him as much as I thought. Then dated for quite a few years with different guys. I can't say it was the best experience I went through. The breaking up, meeting another person again, clubbing, bars etc. You know what they say, New York City is such a big city, but also a very lonely city. I didn't give up falling in love. I knew there had to be someone out there.
I finally met my husband overseas, at 30. I was lucky to have found love at 30. After seeing what was out there during my single years, I don't take him for granted in any way.

omg. your amazing. Thanks for posting this question. A lot of the answers really helped me bc I am 19 with child and married . He is a really amazing guy I just sometimes get so caught up in the thought that i'm missing something (partying with friends , etc) . A lot of these answers have showed me that , even though i did get married and had a child young and my husband is my only, i am truly blessed to have my daughter and a faithful , intelligent man. Thanks so muuuuch guys! i Wouldn't want to ruin my marriage , only to find that what i thought i was missing out on, wasn't all it was cracked up to be !

I don't think I missed out. I didn't date a whole lot, dating was awkward for me. I never even had a boyfriend until I met my husband at age 20. I had a few times where I wondered what if, but the more time goes on the more glad I am to be where I am. Even though I hadn't had a serious relationship before, I just knew that he was the one I wanted to be with forever. We've been happily married 6 years now and have 2 beautiful boys.