Ok, Here's a Controversial Question for You...

Actually, that look is not unusual around here, and doesn't distract anyone. I work with several lesbian women who are either clients or subcontractors, who wear men's style clothing and shoes, and I don't give it a second thought.

I would find it far more distracting if a woman arrived at work wearing something tight-fitting, low-cut, or too-short, and a woman dressed like that would have a very hard time being taken seriously in the office.

I dress in only men's clothes and I am a high level manager for a huge corporation. I hire, fire, lead and develop scores of professionals, all with college degree's (which I have as well). I am classy..wear slacks, a button down shirt...I just don't like the "ruffles" or "seams" of womens clothing and to be blunt, I would look ridiculous. I'm not a tie wearing lesbian...that's taking it a bit far for me. I think the reason this is more socially acceptable than a man wearing a dress is obvious fact that women can and do wear pants and shirts already. It is simpler for a woman to be unisex than for a man. I think the deameanor of the person is more likely what makes the situation uncomfortable. People are comfortable with me...maybe I'm just lucky that I happen to be attractive as well lol :)

A qualified person should be hired regardless. However, back on planet earth that's not what is going to happen. Part of the interview process is finding qualified employees who will mesh with various other factors. One of those factors is how the physical appearance of the potential employee represents the company to the outside world (client, vendors, etc). For some companies the physical appearance will matter greatly. It's not fair; it's not just but that is how it is. Personally I have been involved in the hiring process and the name of the candidates was discussed at length. One of the candidates was dismissed out of hand on this point alone. She might have been one of the most qualified but... *Sparkle, if you are reading this, I apologize. The office consensus was "we" just couldn't have a person named Sparkle answering the phones, chatting to the clients and providing such a visible presence outside the office. Besides at least one of us felt uncomfortable uttering the name. "We" hope you understand.*

Is it for certain men's clothing? Because the 'boyfriend' look is in.

I think either way, there is a certain spoken or unspoken dress code rule... dress your gender... in a professional setting. My husband used to work with this lesbian, who preferred pants suits vs. dress suits, and someone tried to make a fuss over it. BIG DEAL, she does her job! Who cares what she does in her personal time?!

He also, in the same office, worked with a gay man, who regularly got manicures (clear polish), eye brows waxed, and wore a little eyeliner (honestly, the dude looked GOOD, LOL!!)... and again, someone tried to make a fuss over the eyeliner. THAT was a bigger deal, and for a good 2 weeks he wasn't permitted to wear it... then, when bonus time came around, he proved that eyeliner or not, his job performance wasn't effected... he rocked it! So he was allowed to wear make up again :)

Again, in a professional setting (not MY opinion, but the general professional setting), people dress their gender.

If it was up to me, hell, wear titty tassels and cowboy boots... if you're on the other end of a phone and not meeting with clients, to each his own!

I've seen women come to work with much cleavage exposed. Would that be distracting?

Personally, I think a man or woman dressed "differently" would distract people for about a day. No big deal and everyone would get used to it. Discrimination is discrimination no matter how you slice it.

Tolerance, acceptance........ why not?

Women can make menswear look hella sexy or very professional. Men can make womens wear look sexy - but they are generally rock stars.... Mick Jagger, Lenny Kravitz, Jimmy Hendrix, Steven Tyler. I can't think of an example of a man wearing womens clothing in a professional environment. I think that's what it comes down to. Is it appropriate for the industry or situation.

Qualifications aside, the company will hire who best fits with their corporate image.
If women in men s clothing (or men in women s clothing) does not fit with the image they wish to present, they will not hire the person in question.
The people doing the hiring have a lot of leeway in this and they have a lot of candidates to pick from.

Definitely a double standard. Although i will say, if i were a boss I would totally hire a man in woman's clothing. Those people are notoriously fun and would make the work day a lot shorter!

Are you asking if this is a double standard?
I don't think so.
Many clothes are gender neutral. Skirts and mascara are not.

I've worked with plenty of women whose clothing you could have absolutely taken off of them and put on the same sized man. It's not distracting or power usurping.
I've worked with plenty of men whose clothing (gender neutral) you could have absolutely taken off of them and put on the same sized woman. It's not distracting or power usurping.
I've never worked with a man that wore women's (not gender neutral) clothing.

Depends on the job setting. I live and work very close to NYC. So here there are more jobs and work opportunities for someone operating their lives in a less traditional manner.

I'm an accountant for a moderately conservative environment and it would do the applicant a disservice to come to the interview dressed less than expected. I seriously doubt that either man or woman dressed the way you described would be hired in this environment.

Depends on the job. An employer may not like a very "lesbian looking" lady with specifically male items and hair style the same way an employer for a certain job may not want a male in drag. Depends totally on the job.

If the lady is purposely wearing male clothing rather than a lady's suit and shoes, then she has to understand certain employers won't like it, and others won't mind.

As a customer, would I mind dealing with a professional looking like this? Not at all in any profession.

if he/she has to work with clients/customers, then it's too much of a distraction & the company will lose clients over this

i am not as open minded about men wearing skirts anywhere except a drag show

I think it is fair to say that there should not be any question as to what her gender is if she is to be taken seriously in the workplace. In addition she needs to dress professionally. I know a woman, a lawyer, who happens to be a lesbian, who dresses in businessman-inspired clothing. She wears suits everyday to work, and occasionally wears a thin tie. Her hair is short, but styled, and she wears no makeup. I think the tie may have actually been purchased at a women's clothing store-difficult to explain, but it just doesn't look like your typical men's tie. My point is, she is considered to be one of the top associates at her office, very well respected and very professional. Somehow this woman manages to dress manly yet it is still obvious that she is female, her clothes are well chosen and they fit her body well. In other words, no one is confused about her gender.
For years now I've noticed some men at the workplace have been adding female elements to their clothing as well, in the form of scarves, brighter colored shirts & ties, and more accessories, as well as tighter-fitting pants and shirts.
I'm wondering if the problem your having is that this woman a. dresses in clothing that does not fit her body, and b. it's unclear whether she is male or female. There is a way for her to achieve her look without looking frumpy or overtly male. I wonder if your office has a great PR person who can word these concerns to her properly without offending; perhaps if she makes just a few changes to her look (for the office anyway) she can join the team. Good luck with this touchy situation!

Is it very distracting? I know a woman can get away with wearing men's clothing easier then a man can.

I knew a man who worked in a store and wore woman's clothing, I'm guessing he was transgendered or something but it was quite obvious it was a man (umm, in MANY ways) I was a young teen at the time and was not comfortable going to him for assistance in that store-so I can imagine that might have been an issue for other customers as well?

I think if it doesn't get in the way of a person doing their job, they dress respectably and they are qualified then why not hire them?

To answer completely honestly, I would not hire either. Any adult can dress however they choose, but if that choice limits their job opportunities then they will have to decide if that choice is worth it. In the community I live in, that type of dress would not be accepted by most people in an office-type environment. However, if it was in another community or the type of establishment where that type of dress would go unnoticed then I would hire them.

If the clothing is office wardrobe acceptable, I say that while it could be distracting, it is acceptable.

Woman can wear mens clothing but men can't wear women's . Men can walk around with no shirt but women can't. Women suffer with their cycles, men don't. Women can give birth, men can not. ...each sex has it's perks.

At my last job there was a cross-dressing lesbian in my department, and it took me MONTHS to figure out if she was a man or a woman. Her name was Ricci, and she had a very boyish figure (I don't know if she taped her breasts down, or just was built that way) and a lower voice. Did I respect her? Heck yes! She was a whiz and trained me very well, and was very kind to everyone around her.

I think women can get away with it more because we could even do it as a fashion--not MY fashion--but a Diane Keaton/Kathleen Turner way. When a man does it, if he otherwise appears manly, it just stands out. I worked with a few cross-dressing men at The Gap, but they were the "pretty" kind, so it was difficult to tell. To me, dressing is a matter of personal choice.

Does the company have a dress code? I would request gender-matching dress, if the person was a front office position with interaction with clients/customers. In the back office? Whatever looks professional, male or female.

You know, it's such a touchy topic that I'm sure answers will go all over the place on this one. I once worked at a department store when a man dressed in womans clothing started picking up dresses to try on (I worked in the better dresses department). All of us scrambled realizing he was going to want to go into the fitting room to try these dresses on. Mind you, it was prom season and a lot of mothers and teenage daughters were occupying the fitting rooms. It was SO awkward, but an associate of mine kindly said she would take him downstairs to mens to try his dresses on. But what do you do??? He didn't buy any dresses but was it out of humiliation for being taken to mens or because they plain didn't fit? We'll never know but we felt the mother's and teenage girls needed to be protected in the woman's dressing rooms. Men in womans clothing are definitely taken to be more "sick" than woman in men's clothing. I look at Ellen Degeneres, she has a "boyish" style of dressing but definitely looks presentable and not "sick". This will be interesting to follow today.

It depends on the situation. In some jobs, appearance is a mandatory part of the interview process. For instance, if you are a greeter or the face of the company, the head receptionist that welcomes clients and such, if it is at a surgical center, a sales position where personality and charisma are part of the job... it is part of the image that needs to portray.

I do think, that a woman dressed in men's clothing is less distracting and is more common. I see it all the time where I live, but see men in women's clothing rarely. If it was a transgendered man going through the change, who is dressed like a women, lady like hair and make-up, that would maybe be less distracting than a businessman with a crew cut and 5 o'clock shadow wearing a dress and heals. Make sense? Now, if that transgendered woman was in diva drag gear, with the hugely enhanced brows/eyes/wig/make-up, over the top fake voice... that is more prostitute gear and would not be appropriate in the workplace unless it was a gay bar. I'm a stylist and have seen it all!

I'm not sure this is really that controversial. I has become the norm for women to wear mens clothing. I buy all my button down shirt in the young boys section, because I like the fit and design better (plaid flannels for winter, for example.) I don't think it makes me look like a boy.

However, it's not the norm for men to dress as women. Double standard? I don't really think so.

Many women have started to wear men's clothing, or men inspired clothing because they feel they will not be taken as seriously if they dressed as a woman or showed an ounce of femininity. This has been around since the early 80s. This is also part of the double standard all women face in the workforce.

I take everyone seriously... but I would impart before the candidate left that we have clothing policies and I would expect them followed. Companies usually have clothing policies for women and men - so that would end that issue most times.

your typical lesbian dosent dress in mens clothes to wave her personal sexual choices in someones face, or to advertise, or promote, her personal sexual choices. your typical lesbian dresses in mens clothes so that the office guys will know not to bother hitting on her. if you are going to accept a woman who wears mens clothing, then, it should be perfectly ok for a man to wear womens clothing in the same setting. if people dont take them seriously, oh, well.
K. h. no hate mail, please. i am just answering a question, no, this doesnt mean i am a cross dresser, or anything like that, so dont jump to any conclusions.when i wear i dress shirt, or an overshirt/jacket, i wear a mans dress shirt, why ? because, of my deformed left arm, buttoning anything left handed is a struggle.sometimes a woman wears a mans shirt simply because its easier to get into for them.

As discriminatory as it may sound, as a small business owner, your image is a lot of what you are as a company and I'd have to say no. You wouldn't hire someone who showed up in jeans and a t-shirt (also inappropriate attire) so why would you hire someone wearing equally inappropriate attire? I have a friend that is a lesbian and wears boys clothes, but to work she dresses appropriately and has no issue with it. So, no, I would not hire that person because not only are all of your points valid but I'd rather hire an employee with no foreseeable future issues.

LOL... apparently it is not hypothetical.

This is a fairly judgmental question. I think it depends on the industry and the location. In the fashion industry, they wouldn't care. I worked for Neimans for 6 years. There were people from all walks of life with all different styles and their differences made them great at their jobs. They were selected based on their personality and talents not the way they looked. This was refreshing to me and got my mind out of the backwoods box it had been contained in from my Southern Baptist raising. Then there is region of the US and size of town. The larger the populace, the higher the level of acceptance of differences. The 1500 population town I grew up in would freak out... The fact I now live near Dallas, this becomes a norm and not a spectacle.

I clearly believe it may be a shock in the beginning, but after the initial shock and if the person has the skills, it doesn't matter. I think we all need to learn more tolerance. If this person is comfortable in her skin and this is how she feels confident, then maybe she is testing the company to ensure her needs are met. Perhaps she has a better grasp on what she wants out of a career and needs to make sure the company can meet those wants. It's not always about blending.

Your question made me think of the "Office" episode when Michael showed up in the woman's dress suit....too funny:)

I think that it goes back to expected dress code for the office and, like we tell the kids, dressing for the occasion. If the dress code for that office was women in heels and pantyhose and skirts and the woman did not wear those, that would be an issue. Maybe not the SAME issue as the man in heels, but an issue. I had a job where I had to dye over my funky colored hair because "non-natural" colors were not allowed. A friend wears long sleeves all summer because her bank job doesn't allow visible tattoos. You dress the way they want for the job or you don't work there.

It is no more right or wrong than people with funky hair, piercings, tattoos, headdresses or any other attire not getting a job. Jobs are skills, yes, but also corporate identity.

Ok, firstly women dressing in menswear is fashionable ... many men have and can successfully wear women's wear and look quite attractive. It appears your main question is about a woman wearing menswear and I think if it is done well it is fine, if she is trying to look like a man and not like a woman as well then she may need some guidance. Just look at Diane Keaton, I think she pulls it off beautifully.

The man wouldn't be taken seriously for even .5 seconds. When I worked at a credit union, a man, well over six feet and very broad shouldered - he had the build of a football player - he came in dressed in a woman's business suit. He had on a skirt, heals, pantyhose, and a suit coat thingy. He was also wearing a wig and had make up on. I did manage to keep my expression normal, but he looked so ridiculous. All the other times I had seen him, he was dressed as a very many man. So, it was a bit unexpected to see him dressed like a woman...and it did NOT look good on him. I've never seen a man that looks good wearing a dress and heals. He looked especially bad.

If they want to dress like that, fine. But if you want a job, and want to be taken seriously, I do believe what you wear IS important. I've heard the argument many a time that what you wear shouldn't matter...but the fact is it does. It matters to people. Some people it doesn't matter, but there are plenty that it does. If you are business owner, you have to take into account how it'll affect your business if you hire someone that turns customers away. Whether it's right or wrong that it turns customers away isn't the point - the point is that it DOES happen. And, so I think what you wear is very important.

I'm struggling to picture a woman in a man's suit. For some reason it is less noticeable typically than a man wearing a woman's outfit. If it were up to me, I'd make a general clothing policy that my employees where matching gender clothing (or however you'd say that to say that guys wear guy clothing and girls wear girl clothing).

So, if the woman looks odd dressed in men's clothing, and if people would notice, and if it could potentially affect business for the company, then absolutely what she is wearing should matter. Does she have the right to dress as a man? Sure. But when it comes to working for someone else, the success of the business is more important...in my opinion. And, dressing appropriately for the job should be enforced.

I think any person should adhere to the dress code in an office and follow the guidelines of how to dress for an interview if they want to be hired. Working is not about personal expression, it is about demonstrating to that company you are the right person for their needs and receiving a pay check for a job well done. I don't wear small stud earrings and hose like ever, but you better believe I would on any interview. I would verse myself in what was the best clothing to wear to get a good job. If she wants to work in an environment that has no issue with personal style choice etc, that's fine but if she wants to work in an environment where there is a dress code, spoken or unspoken she would do well to adhere to it. It's one of those when in Rome situations in my opinion.

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Personally, I find the whole idea of certain items of clothing only being appropriate for one gender stupid. I would hire a guy in a dress if his resume was the best of the bunch.

How do they know she's a "lesbian" did they ask her? Are they just assuming she's a lesbian just b/c she dresses in men's clothes? Sometimes women just like men's clothes b/c they fit better. I wear men's clothes & I'm not a lesbian. I have broad shoulders & long arms, very hard for me to find women's dress clothes that fit right but men's clothes fit me pretty good but still, it doesn't make me a lesbian. If she dressed as a 'man' she might just think of herself in a masculine way but still doesn't automatically make her a lesbian. I think a woman in man's clothing is less distracting & less 'weird' than a man dressed in women's clothes. I'd say it depends on the job's dress code policy.

I think that a man who is appropriately dressed as a woman should be given the opportunity to do the job and get it done. If they are qualified, the distraction will only be minimal.

Will someone like this do sales or be customer facing, probably not.

Can they be a programmer or a top notch HR manager - most definitely.

We have a "man" where I work that dresses in womans clothing. He refers to himself as she and legally changed first name to Nicki. Still has all the "man-parts", but uses the women's restroom [or uni-sex restroom put in just because of this person].

There was a man that cross-dressed at one of my other previous work places too. Didn't hide it in any way and was a great engineer...

To me... It shouldn't matter how a person is dressed. It's the person that I'm interviewing... Not their attire.

ETA- Both places are Automotive Research and Engineering facilities that I've referred to.

Business appropriate is always the standard. Your judgment of what business appropriate is, does play into qualifying potential employees. You allude to tolerence, personal judgment, respect, distraction....but none of that matters. It's whatever the company/culture deems as business appropriate.

If you're interviewing for a company that promotes cross dressing and it is important to how they run their business, they're philosophy, etc. ...it's totally appropriate to come in dressed in men/women's clothing. Most of the business world....not appropriate. It is what it is. Come dressed for the part...the rest will follow.

I don't think so. It shouldn't matter what your wearing. I have seen peoples skin hanging out there shirt and I was fine with it. It was gross for some people see. You should be hired based on your skills not your clothing styles.

Obviously you have to dress appropriate for working in an office depending upon your companies standards. I can wear jeans when I want

It would depend on what type of job she is applying for. A crane operator? A stock clerk at the Home Depot? Some night job so no one would see her? I worked with a couple of those "girls" once and they could outperform any man I knew. I probably wouldn't hire them for an office job or where they represent the company.

It would depend on how conservative the business and its clientele are, and how much exposure the hypothetical employee would have. I would be genuinely surprised to see such a person hired as a teller at our small-town banks, and in my town, that bank would probably lose more customers than it gains. Yet I see extremely alternative people (in personality, dress, tattoos, and piercings) serving at a few of our bigger-town healthy food stores and restaurants, and no customers are shocked or put off.

Both seem suitable to me, considering the public's expectations. I am personally pretty liberal and adventurous, but know people who become quickly alarmed or judgmental at much of anything beyond their personal definitions of normal.

I supervised a woman who dressed in either men's clothing or very mannish woman's clothing. She had a girlfriend, they were part of a theatre group and often did drag shows. None of us thought this was weird and none of us would have dreamed of not hiring her because of her clothing or personal life.

She was professional and respected by the people, and community members, that she worked with.

And yes, a man who prefers to wear woman's clothing should be treated the same. Unfortunately, our society is not yet that evolved.

I don't think it should matter either way, but that would be in a perfect world and this one is full of intolerance and very far from perfect, so I agree that a man in woman's clothing would not be taken seriously. I don't think, however, that a woman in men's clothing would be an issue at all.

I worked with a woman like that... I saw her come in and out of the building at least 6 times before I was sure she was a woman. It was never an issue, we were archaeologists - she was a manager. She worked with clients regularly, and now owns her own business.

J.