One Home or Two?

What their mother told them was wrong but by the same token you may have helped add to the confusion by correcting their mother's stance. Instead it may have been more beneficial to ask the children about how they felt and what they thought over bringing your thoughts into it.

I'm a mom and a step mom. I often find myself correcting the children and getting them to maintain their respect and love for the parent they don't live with. Even when I don't agree with the methods used by that parent, that parent still needs to be respected. You don't mention how old the children are but as they get older they will try to create a divided front between the adults so they can have their own way. All the adults as much as they can need to try to be on the same page

Even their mother is entilted to a difference of opinion regarding how many homes they have but try to not put the children in the middle on your side. I hope this helps.

don't you just want to kick her? Wow...kudos to you for being open & honest about 2 homes! It's very important that children feel the "love" wherever they live. Good job, Mom!

No, you are not wrong. I have primary custody and the kids go to Dad's house many weekends. I always refer to both homes as their homes, and I reiterate how lucky they are to have so many people to love them. Too bad more mommies cannot be like that - and my ex's new wife is hateful and jealous and I still do these things because it isn't about ME! Best wishes.....

That mom is just WRONG! Sounds like jealousy. You did the right thing letting the kids know they were just at much at home at their dad's house as at their mom's. When I was younger my parents divorced and I knew I had two homes. Just like you said, everything (but my clothes) were there. My mom never said anything like that to me. A child needs to feel secure and understand home is where ever mom AND dad are even if they are two different places. Good for you and shame on your step kids mom.

She sounds like a bitter woman. Divorce is hard enough on children-why would you make it worse. I wonder what else that she is telling them. So heartbreaking and unfair that these kids have to deal with this b/c 2 adults cannot get along. I will never understand it.

Home is where the heart is and where they feel comfortable, loved, accepted, clothed and fed. It shouldn't matter which HOUSE accomplishes that. It could be BOTH and it could be ONE. Don't let it bother you that much. If they had 4 houses to go to and all of them had problems, then they really have none at all.

This is something your husband should have handled, not you.

But I do agree it was wrong of her to say. I'm betting there are other things she says and does to try and undermine the kids dad.