Oops She Did It Again........

Police would not come to a house because of fleas. Obviously she told them there was physical danger to the children. And you need to explain to your in-laws that Social Services doesn't help families with autistic children, only neglected or abused children.

I think you can request a copy of the police and social services report to find out what they reported.

It sounds like your husband needs to have a talk with his family about the appropriate way to handle situations.

Wow. That is definitely a family you will have to watch out for. You should really check into getting a restraining order against them and make sure you document anything else they may say or do so that they can't blindside you again.

If this were me, I would let them both have a piece of my mind. Then I would not have any more contact with them. If they had such a concern with your kids, they should have came to you first. I would check into the restraining order as well. They only problem I could see with this is "grandparent rights" but I'd still look into it then you can discuss it from there. I wish you the best of luck!

OH MY GOODNESS!!! I would go threw the roof..... I would tell me husband to put his mother in her place!! I wouldn't talk to her either. People don't know that when you call social services that isn't a joke! If they took your kids(which It doesn't sound like they have a leg to stand on) that is no laughing matter-your maother in law is a jerk. Sorry, but when someone messes with your kids like that and insults(Sp) you/your parenting ahhhhhhhhh UGH!
I think that you have every rigth to be mad....she should of talked to you first
Good Luck and keep me posted

I would immediately start documenting everything...every tiny little detail.

No you don't have to send your children to their house if you don't want to...just say that doesn't work out for us...you don't have to give them any excuses or reasons...

never be rude to Social Services, give them all the information they ask for, provide provide provide...

I really feel for you, did this all just start recently or has there been an on-going riff between your Inlaws and your family...try to think of what started all of this, then write it down...

if anything does every happen, you can call the police and then get your report, like if the il's show up unannounced and try to tell you they CAN take you children...don't let them...don't let them or give them the opportunity to say your an unfit mother (or father)...

sad thing is how or why would any parent do this to their grown adult children and their grandchildren...

I would absolutly go through the roof. Your MIL says she did this I'm assuming because she wants to know that her granddaughter's needs are being met, which has nothing to do with fleas. But, perhaps she's trying to start a track record for your family with Child Protection Services so that way, IF her grandchilds needs are not met (which I'm assuming also that she fully expects that to happen), your MIL can call child protection and have yet another checkmark added behind your name which would indicate that you are an unfit parent. All this usually has to begin somewhere and it appears that the fleas issue was her first round of ammunition. She's playing with fire in my eyes. She's not talking about the welfare of your children when the livelyhood of your family is at stake. If this excels, you could lose your children and that is not something to be taken lightly. I'd be livid and I'd also get to the bottom of why she thinks you are inadequate parents. Or, cut her off.

OMG! I would be PO'd too! If your MIL thinks your daughter might have autism there are definitely better ways of approching the topic. I would'nt want to talk to them anymore either, so I don't blame you for that one bit. Now on the autism thing, do you think it's possible? Is it your older or younger? If it's your older daughter, ask her teachers about it. They would be able to have some insight for you. If it's your younger, ask the teachers again. They know how to direct you to the appropriate people that can help you and your daughter. Even if you don;t think she has autism, it may not hurt to have some evaluations done. If your daughter is just learning at a slower pace, she may be eligible for a little help to bring her up to where she should be. I've seen these therapies do amazing things. But it's completely your choice and you know your children best. And again, your MIL and SIL were completely out of line. Good Luck!

I am brand new here and not sure I should be saying anything, but I have to agree with the previous poster who said she would not allow the children to see those family members without the parents present. It's sad, but they are an influence you need to protect your children from. Do you really believe there is any chance that your rule #1 will be followed?

It is unlikely you will get a judge to sign a restraining order against your in-laws. I would be careful to document everything because you may need it later if they get more agressive. That being said, you can always contact your school district and ask for an evaluation of your daughter. That way you are showing that you are concerned and doing everything you can.

I have experience with the Hennepin County Child Protection Services. I worked for a judge in juvenile court and now I work for an agency that represents Native American families in child protection proceedings. I offer only one bit of advice when dealing with child protection social workers - They are not your friends. They can, and do, use everything you say to them against you. You should cooperate with them, be friendly with them, but be very careful about what you say to them.

You may want your husband to talk to his family again and ask them to raise any concerns they may have with you two, rather than calling social services. They may not realize that their complaints could lead to the removal of the kids from your care, and I seriously doubt that's what they want.

Good Luck.

I didnt have time to read the other responses but did read your updates. I think you are being more generous than is called for. I certainly would not let my kids spend time at the inlaws without me being present at ALL times. Most likely I would make them come to us.

With the previous behavior I wouldnt put it past them to do something physically, emotionally, mentally to those children then pin it on you. It may sound far fetched but lets face it-- so is what they have already done.

YOU are the parent. YOU can decide who sees your children and when and what rules will apply. You have NO obligation to send your children to grandparents. They are adults. If they want to see them they know how to travel.

I would seriously rethink leaving them with in laws. No one says you cant change your mind. Just flat tell them that you have rethought it and in the best interest of your children they will have to come to you.

Also- although you do not have to give details do not be afraid to be straight with your children. Tell them that at this point in time grandma and auntie arent makeing wise choices and one of the consequences is that they must visit only at your house with you there. Simple but very rememberalbe lesson for children to see grandma have a consequence!

Feel free to contact me if you need support. From the little I saw of the responses you have lots!