Pacifier - Saint Peters,MO

Updated on September 02, 2011
N.F. asks from Saint Peters, MO
14 answers

My twin sons are 28 months and I need to get them to finally get rid of their pacifiers. One son is more attached to his than the other. They usually only use them for their naps and bedtime, but the one who is more attached sometimes asks for it during the day and if he's real frustrated, then I do give it to him. I thought of telling them that the Trash man is collecting boo's (that's what they call it) and they need to put theirs in the trash for him. Or someone told me to snip the end off of it and then tell them that it's broke and have them throw it away. My one son tends to bite a hole in his but I had in the past just replaced it, so I don't know if that would work. What have some of you done to get rid of it? Also, my husband is on a business trip for 2 weeks, should I wait until he's home so he can help me if sleep time is too tough with two boys? And, in December I plan to take the boys on a trip via airplane and I always felt the pacifier was good for their ears in that situation - any other tips on what they could use to help their ears? Thanks! Also, for those who want to write that they just never got their child to use pacifiers in the first place - that's just not going to help me now since it's too late for me with that advice and I don't plan on having anymore children for that to help me in the future. : )

** Being twins, they have that communication between them that us grownups don't always understand, and a rep from Parents as Teachers told me that sometimes a binky can interfere with a child developing their words and so, that's why I was thinking of having them get rid of it now. I originally was thinking after our trip in December or when they're 3 years old.

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J.F.

answers from Boston on

I would put off doing it until after the airplane ride in Dec (it will help on plane)...make it a New Years Resolution if it really bothers you. My son is 27 months, uses it for sleep and sometimes in the car if he is fussy....what's the big deal?

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi N.,

It depends on your parenting style. This was not a battle I fought, except that at a certain age there became 'rules' for when my daughter could have her paci - so, for sleep or whatever, but not just stuck in her mouth walking around. I think we did that a bit before 2 - when you can start to have actual conversations with them. Also, just don't let them talk with it in their mouth, have them remove it when you guys are 'talking' so he learns that is the correct behavior.

I would say that if you "need" him to give up something that he needs for comfort then you should help him replace that item so that he can still learn the practice of self-soothing. It's the same process, but you've just swapped out the paci for the teddy bear or the truck, which you might consider as more socially acceptable.

My daughter gave hers up on her own around 2 1/2, I think. I did say that there weren't anymore at the store, so once those were gone they were gone and she better keep track of it if she really wanted it. I also did a lot with teaching her to self-soothe in a variety of ways (coaching her to take deep breaths, thinking of her favorite calming activity, sleeping with a teddy bear, using a doll to pat her back so my daughter was the soother to "help" the doll or the animal calm down etc etc) so the paci wasn't her ONLY source of comfort.

As far as the flight - if they are on a sippy cup fill it with water and have them drink slowly a couple times during takeoff and landing (or get one of those cups with the straws, if they can do that). Swallowing will have the same effect as the sucking for the ears.

Have fun on your trip!

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Cut the tip off. My younger daughter was a binky addict - had that thing in her mouth literally 24/7. When she turned 2 it began affecting her teeth and the dentist told us we HAD to get rid of it. I expected a battle, tears, withdrawals, etc. I cut the tip off of all the binkies in the binky drawer (yes, we had an entire drawer of them). She tried one, got a confused look, said, "It's broken!" She then proceeded to try every binky in the drawer and determined they were all "broken," and wandered off. And that was that! I'm not even kidding, she never wanted them again. I couldn't believe it was that easy! She didn't even seem upset about it - I was shocked.

ETA: for the plane trip, try Benadryl. That has always helped my kids' ears on the plane. You will want to be sure beforehand that Benadryl will not make them hyper though. Some kids, it riles them up (but the rest of them, it knocks out, which is handy on a plane! ;)

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If it is a need to suck taking away a pacifier can just cause them to find something else to suck, like a finger, a blanket corner, a pillowcase, etc...be sure they are mentally and physically ready. If they are not you will only set yourself up for further issues like when the orthodontist tells you that the only way to fix their teeth is to break their jaw bones and wire their mouth shut for several months. Just to fix the damage their fingers did to their mouths.

My daughter went cold turkey off her bottle at about a year old due to falling of the couch onto her Platex nurser and knocking her front tooth up into the gums. It fell out later and it damaged the adult tooth. She took to sucking her fingers and her mouth is recessed by an inch or more and her hand is deformed due to the constant sucking.

You can eventually take away a binkie but you can't take away a finger or other thing they decide to suck on.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

the longer you wait, the harder it is going to be. i took my son's at 9 months...cold turkey. yes he cried for a couple nights, but then he was fine.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

My oldest son was majorly attached to his mimi (his name for it). He acted like he lost his best friend the first time I tried to take it away cold turkey. I couldn't handle seeing him so upset so I gave in and gave it back to him. I just started limiting it to only bedtime. Naps of course were a nightmare. He basically screamed instead of sleeping. Then he got over it after a few days. I just had to snuggle him to sleep. ;) Then I decided I just wasn't going to replace them once they were lost or got too old. So he was down to 1 and he dropped it in the toilet. I pointed out to him that it was his very last 1 and that it was yucky and had to go in the trash. I showed it to him in the trash and told him he doesn't have any more. He cried for it that night and I reminded him where it was and told him I was sorry but that he needed to try his best to be a big boy and go to bed without it. He was pretty upset and hard to get to sleep for a couple of weeks. He got over it eventually though. Just make sure you've got a bedtime routine. I think that is a comfort for them to have a routine. With my current son, I thought about getting one of those stuffed animals with the binky attached and letting him use that at bedtime. Then eventually just cut the binky part off. We'll see how that idea pans out... Good luck!!

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

My kids were pretty evenly divided on thumb sucking and pacifiers but I will say that the ones I took the pacifier from earliest ended up sucking their thumbs. They have a need to suck and they will do it however they need to. With my last one I was a bit more lax, sad to say, and she was about 3 years old when I took it. I tried taking it and then she'd cry and cry at night and so I'd get it out. ( Like I said with her being my last I was very lazy with her and do not recommend giving it to crying ). So finally I told her she needed to throw it away and we put it in the trash compactor. She put it in and watch it compact. That night I just said you threw it away and that was the end of it. She knew she had done it and it was gone. This may or may not work with your sons. I have a set of twin grandsons about the same age as your boys and they are doing the same exact thing with the pacifiers. They only get them at nap time and bedtime but one will ask for it in the day if he can get anyone to give it to him. I noticed the last time I babysat overnight that they really weren't as 'into' them so I think this age is a good age to get rid of them. If you go past three it's a way bigger battle I think. Aren't twins fun? We have two sets of twin grandsons.

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

I do not understand what the rush is to make kids grow up. If he needs it...which is often true of the less bold and or social twin let him have it.

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S.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I would start by limiting it to bedtime. Then talk to them about the pacifier going away. I think you can get around the plane trip by giving them a sippy cup. I tried cutting the pacifier then traded it for a Barbie but then she started sucking her thumb.

Good luck.

M.B.

answers from Orlando on

I would tell them that their are babies who need pacis and have them put it in a box and pretend to mail it to the babies. That's what my friend did to break her 3 year old of the paci.

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A.S.

answers from Springfield on

I've heard of taking the boo to a Build-a-Bear, making the teddy bear and putting the boo inside. Then the child can still feel it in there, but not have it to suck on. I've never flown so I don't know exactly about what to do on the trip except that I have heard give them gum to chew...that's assuming they are old enough to know about chewing gum. My son chewed gum at three without swallowing it, but I don't know if that's normal. Also I've heard that having a sippy cup with water helps. I've also seen something called EarPlanes Child's Earplugs that are supposed to help. Good luck on shedding the boos! :)

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Yikes! If you are going to ween them off the pacifier do it before December so they're adjusted. There has been no easy way for us...with our kids. When we took it away cold turkery from our DD she started sucking her thumb. Still does at 6...Drives me nuts. My DS will be four in two weeks. He is now on week 2 no pacifier (he only had it at night to go to bed) I know why on earth did we wait so long. Well once he turned three and we tried it cold turkey...he started wetting the bed (He was potty trained a month after third birthday) and going potty excessively because he couldn't cope without it. Now it is getting ridiculous at almost 4 so we last week at his dental check-up, the dentist said no pacifier and that night we took it away again cold turkey.

So far so good. Takes him awhile to fall asleep now but no accidents. We are holding our breath.

So I guess I am saying there is no easy way but prepare them and the poof it's gone.

I feel your pain...Good luck

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M.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Never weaned any of my 5 from pacis or thumb. Had to have braces on the older kids so far :) But just can't break them from their comfort item! Babies need to suck on something -- it is a basic need. I would not stress about it :)

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My guy gave his up at 13 months, cold turkey (I couldn't find it at bedtime.) This was on top of it being his first day of no bottles, but he made it on both and stopped asking for either within 3 days.

Two friends of mine just got their boys (2 and almost 2.5) off theirs within a few days of each other by snipping the tips off of them. One of the boys got disgusted with it and threw it away himself after a day, the other kept trying it for a few days and demanded a new one. So mom cleverly snipped the tip of a new one while she was washing it and when he saw it and tried it and said it "didn't work" she told him they were all that way now. He carried it around a day or so then traded it in for a new toy and all is well now. One of their pediatricians said the longer they use them the harder it is to get them off them and that seems to be true.

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