Paying Rent

Sorry - you are living in HER home...you pay up.

I'm sorry they had an argument - but that doesn't mean you don't pay.

This is FAMILY - she was good enough to welcome you into her home. We don't know HER side of the story - nor do we know their history....you were lucky enough NOT to be homeless because of them...so pony up.

I agree with Shane B. Also, nicely ask if she is willing to prorate the rent so that you pay only about $190 in rent versus the full $300.

Integrity is very important to me. I think you are very wrong to consider not paying her. You should be discussing this with her & if you need to go on a 'payment plan' then so be it but to not pay is very wrong.

Well, Michelle, after reading some of your previous posts, this move will likely be a good thing.
I'm wondering what happened to make the agreement change so suddenly.
Sometimes your S. gets bored being at home because you don't have a car while your husband works and you stay at home living with your husband's grandparents. Nothing wrong with needing help from time to time, but you've only been paying $300 in rent. You stay at home. Where is the rest of the money going? I'm not asking to be mean, and you don't even have to answer, but I'm not sure why you weren't tucking money away to put toward having your own place already.
From what I can tell, you've been living there since at least the first part of December. That was basically 8 months ago. I'm guessing from the math, and I could be wrong, you were thinking you'd have another 7 months to save $2000.
It seems to me that something happened to cause this sudden turn of events.
All I can say is that I personally would not burn someone who has opened their home to me. ESPECIALLY not my grandparents. I know things happen and people need help, but "burning" grandma financially?
That would not even be a consideration for me.
No offense, but she expects rent and you say "she's not getting it".
Try saying that to a landlord.
Maybe Grandma is getting old and tired and would be willing to have you pay her half at a time. Maybe she thinks once you're gone, she'll never see what you owe her and I might not blame her on that one.
Maybe she will be happy just to know that you have found your own place and will waive the August rent.
Either way, you and your husband need to find a way to be on your own.
You will all be much happier.
No offense.
Just my opinion.

Why did the situation change? What was the argument about?

I would never fail to pay an agreed upon amount to anyone, especially not family. I think when adults make agreements with other adults, especially elders, its important to act like adults and not spoiled children.

If you screw over the Grandparents who's going to be kind enough to help you out next time life doesn't work out as planned?

summation: consider seriously the immaturity of burning that sort of bridge and damaging that sort of relationship.

I would never allow any of my relatives to treat my grandparents so disrespectfully.

My response may be harsh, but I wasn't raised to bite the hands that feed me. So, sorry if it's offensive to you.

Best wishes-

You owe her for your time in her residence. It's the right thing to do. Argument or not, verbal agreement or not, savings or not and like it or not.

Pay her, where would you have been if she never took you in for such a low rent?

Blessings.....

if you were living in another apartment and decided to move, you'd still have to pay rent. i would try to ask her if she could pro-rate it, wouldn't save you much but since you're not there the whole month, it's only right. yes, you have to pay her. just because there are hard feelings now- this is still grandma, you have to do right by her. of course it is tough. but you owe her so much. maybe after everyone cools off, you can work out a payment plan and pay it in installments. don't trash a relationship with this woman just because of an argument. and NOT because you "might need her later", but because it's family and you should respect her and honor all that she's already done for you. (fyi, this is what OFTEN happens when family moves in together. you really have to do what you can to salvage this relationship!)

It's unfortunate and not nice that she has decided to break her agreement with your family (although we're only hearing one side of the story, and don't know what the argument entailed). Don't be like her by breaking your agreement. Two wrongs don't make a right and all that. HOWEVER, since she is no longer treating you like family, you have every right to treat the situation like you would any other apartment manager - pay her the prorated amount of rent for the 19 days you will be living there. So, 31 days divided by $300=$9.68/day x 19= $183.87. That's how much you should pay her, plus any incidentals like a portion of the utilities, etc.

I would have a calm conversation with the grandparents. Apologize for the anger and the argument. Tell them you will pay the rent but you need the Aug rent for your new place and ask them if you can pay them next month. If it's true that you won't be able to move if you have to pay them, tell them that. They may want you out badly enough to forgo the rent. You do need to negotiate with them.

If they insist that they want the rent on Aug. 1, then I'd pay it, realizing that this is the consequence for my involvement in the argument. If you aren't able to move it's their consequence for insisting that you pay.

Seems like a very straight forward and honest way to make this decision. You did agree to pay and it's important to honor your agreements. As GirlUndone77 said, you may need their help again. You don't want to burn that bridge. Hopefully you also want to be an adult and manage this situation in an adult way.

you're even considering not paying her rent for august? sit back and think...you've been lucky enough to live in someone's house for $300 a month? this is not reality. consider yourselves super lucky to have had this good situation and do the right thing.

Of course you should pay her rent.
If money is tight because of the move, and you are amicable (perhaps not), you could ask if you could pay it in September.
But regardless, you should pay it.

Since she's kicking you out it seems she would be happy that you are finally leaving and it might be worth not getting the money for the 19 days, but in all reality you owe her 19 days of August and that would be the RIGHT thing to do since she's family and you dont want to burn the bridge any further. you owe her 184 dollars for the 19 days you will be there in August.

"She's expecting rent in August but she's not getting it" . Uh... you had an agreement that you'd pay rent for living there-- why shouldn't you honor that agreement? You should certainly ask to prorate only what you owe up until August 19th . And if the issue is your are dependent on that money to get an apartment -- you should discuss that with her and see if she will let you pay her off at a later date.

I personally can't imagine charging a S. rent (!) but I don't know your mother-in=laws circumstances . Bottom line however, you husband made an agreement. If he needs your MIL's financial assistance -- he should try to resolve whatever argument they had -- and ask for her cooperation in helping your family take the next step

Pay unless you want to open a whole new bag of worms. She did do you guys a favor by letting you stay there for $300, which you will never get again. Do the right thing, she is family.

You are living in her home up until you move, so, yes, you need to pay rent for the amount of time that you'll be living there in August. She's family, and it's the right, responsible thing to do.

$300 a month is a steal & something you will never find again. I'm really wondering what was so worth arguing about with her to ruin such a great deal & get kicked out.

If it were me, & depending on what the argument was about, I might ask my DH try to work it out before spending $2k to move elsewhere.

I hope you guys come to a solution that's fair to everyone.

I would pay a prorated amount. There are 31 days in August. at $300 that's $9.67 a day x 19 days = $183.00 Do the right thing. It's not worth family drama to skip out on $183.00. I know they broke the lease agreement, but, you see now by dealing with an apartment complex how much rent really costs and what a great deal you were getting. So all in all, they have been fair and generous with you.

I would absolutely, without a doubt pay her the August rent. She was nice enough to make the initial offer for you to live there..regardless of the argument. You will be there more then half the month....and she is "Grandma"!..it's the right thing to do.
jmho..

I would pay it to avoid any more conflict, and also because it's just the right thing to do. However, given the way you're having to rush out of there earlier than you were expecting, I don't think it's unreasonable to tell her that it's going to be late. That way you can focus on getting the $2,000 together, and even if she's mad she'll be more likely to get over it if it's late then if she never gets it at all. Good luck! :-)

Interesting, on one hand in a normal tennant relationship she couldn't kick you out for an argument. On the other hand she was not asking for much in rent in the first place.

Really in the end the other posters are right, she was giving you such low rent so you could save, it is not her fault you didn't. If you can come up with $2,000 in a month there was a heck of a lot of fat in your budget.

Even though I don't think it was right for her to change the terms of the agreement you do owe her the money so pay up.

Hello, While I don't know the whole story (there are always two sides), I would think that the grandparents would allow you to pay just the half of the utilities, and forego the rent to help you to save up for moving, but, again, I don't know what happened. I have had all of my kids move back in at some time. I only charged them rent to keep them in the habit of paying. I charged them $50.00 a week per person, just to pay for food and utilities. I get the feeling that something happened to cause this sudden decision to have you move out.
Good luck.
K. K.

yes you need to pay her for august rent. You will still be living there for most of the month. If you were living in an apartment and had to leave before the end of the month (even just a couple days into the month) you would still owe for the whole month.

Well, she openned her home to you and allowed you to live there for minimal rent and with minimal financial responsibilities. Candidly, I would say that you have had the entire time you have been living with them to save money to move out (that was the goal), so you have no grounds to "punish" her for your lack of financial responsibility.

You owe her the money, but may want to suggest that you pay 1/2 of the rent b/c you will be there for 1/2 of the month.

You have THREE weeks to save up $2000? Play nice b/c if you don't have the cash you will need a place to live on August 20th.

This is unfortunate but still family and with the situation most likely subsiding after some time, I believe you definitely need to do everything that the two of you can do to stay true to your word (even though she may be acting unreasonably right now) and pay her the rent. Since you have to save your money, maybe let her know that you will have to pay her in installments starting at a later time. I would let her know that it will be paid but with the lack of time to save, you are just unable to pay her at this time. If she really wants you out then she can't have both. Hopefully when things balance out and fizzle she will see her responsibility in this and give you back the money or at least a portion. It's a difficult situation for you all right now so just keeping your integrity in tact but putting yourself first is where I think you would be best.

Good luck :)

you should pay her. I understand not being able to afford it. Can you talk to her about it? tell her you have found a place and will be moving out but that you need every penny and see if you can come to an agreement.

That's messed up of her to do that because of an argument (unless he was attackin her or something). I would tell her openly that you have to use the money to get out of her house and that you will pay her as soon as possible. I'd tell her that "you wanted me out, I'm getting out, but I have to use the rent money for the new apartment. I will pay you on such and such date". You can't pay two rents at the same time. I would try and swing utilities if you can since it's higher because y'all are staying there and she may not be able to afford it.

If you lived in your own place you would have to pay rent. You should want to pay your way regardless. That is the right thing to do. There are not very many places that you could find rent that cheap ! However, it is very hard for two families to live together. More of the reason to have your own place. There is nothing free. I had to live with my mother at times when I was younger BUT I ALWAYS PAID MY WAY AND EVEN HELPED WITH LAUNDRY AND CLEANING THE HOUSE AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT SHE NEEDED ME TO DO. A person does NOT show their appreciation by NOT pay their way or doing their part. That is not fair and that is taking advantage of the person that is helping you.

It seems fair to offer to prorate the rent. Meaning, divide by the number of days in a month and pay for the number of days you plan to be there. In any case, if you can handle it financially, it would be nice to have a week or so overlap so that you can take your time moving in.

See if you guys can patch things up. Another year would be good to save more money. But is it worth all the hassel? I know how it is living w/family (ugh) But if u guys can handle getting out then get out & patch things up.

I also liked what SHAUNA H said prorate the amount due.

Good luck

I didn't read anyone else's responses, but I would pro rate it. 300 divided by 31 times 19 and do the same for your half of the utilities. It's not cool that she gave you such a short time frame, but she's still family and helped you out for a little bit. Good luck!