Picky Daughter Eating Less and Less

I don't know if someone already suggested this, but... If I make a tray of veggies, fruit, crackers & cheese-whatever, and I just leave it on the table, the kids will invariably eat all of the healthy stuff. The trick is not to try to get them to eat, just leave it within reach and they will notice and start nibbling. It may also help if you let her see you eating the "snack." (My kids always want what I'm having). Good luck!

I understand how frustrating this all is! I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who stopped eating most foods as soon as she was able to use her own fork and spoon. I do find myself feeding her what I know she will eat and am resolved to stop catering to this.

The kicker is that the pediatrician loves that she is a skinny bean. My 5 year old daughter is not overweight (her BMI is 17.5) but the pediatrician feels that she is at risk for becoming so if we don't watch her diet. My kids don't eat any fast food and little to no junk food or candy. I can't win!

My children were/are the same way. I have daughters 7,4,4, that won't try much of what I make. I stopped making the kids a different meal a few months ago. At first they didn't eat and when they said they were hungry, I gave them dinner reheated. They are now starting to try the dinners, and if they don't, they get dinner again later if they are hungry. My doc says that they will eat eventually and as long as she remains healthy and active, no worries. Also, cut back on milk and juice around meal times. It tends to fill them up. Hope this helps a little.

L.

Dear D.,
I am in the healthcare field alongside thousands of highly credentialed physicians, scientists and alternative care professionals. One consensus of thought is that it takes 15-20 tastes of a food before a child will ask for that same food! I say this to give you hope and to cause you to be at peace in the process of being patient!
D., one of the pediatricians I am associated with is Dr. Bill Sears. You may know him via Oprah or Dr. Phil. He and his wife have written 30 books on parenting and have eight kids of their own. He has offered a suggestion I find intriguing and delightful. (My kids are older, so I they are not of the age for me to have tried this on them.) Anyway, he says, if you take a muffin pan and add to each well a different healthy food (like broccoli, carrots, grapes, nuts, etc.), call them by fun names and leave the muffin tray out by the child all day as they color and play, the child will visit the tray periodically during the day and eat of it. He calls this 'grazing'. He says it is a better way to feed a child.
Additionally, Dr. Sears (and I) both recommend Juice Plus+. Have you ever heard of it? It is 17 fruits, veggies and grains (minus the sodium, gluten and nearly all of the sugars) in gummies, chewables and capsules (your choice) for a fraction of the cost of store-bought produce.
Offering Juice Plus+ Gummies (or chewables or capsules) is a kid-friendly way of making sure your little one (and yourself) get all of the fruits and veggies that are so lacking in all of our diets each and every day! Plus, it's backed by 13 medical-journal published studies, half of which are gold-standard, but all are statistically trustworthy!
I have eaten Juice Plus+ for more than eight years and will never be without it for the rest of my life! If you would like to know more, simply visit my website at www.jpjenn.com and/or respond to this note from me.
Here's hoping my comments have helped you, but more importantly, here's hoping your daughter gets the nutrition she needs!
Blessings!
J. F.

My daughter is also 4 1/2 and a picky eater, only eating a handful of foods. We have recently started this new thing at dinner that has been working so far. I printed off a chart and titled it "I tried something new today" and we stuck it on the fridge. Then I give her what we are eating, only I make sure there is at least one item that she already likes. At dinner, she has to try one bite of something new, and if she does, she gets to put a sticker on that day. I also write down what she tried w/ a happy face if she liked it. That way, if we have it again, I can tell her she tried it on this day and said it was good. At the end of the week, if she has all her stickers for the week, we let her pick a dinner or restaurant to have dinner at (we've ate at McDonald's every Sunday for the past month). Also, as an extra incentive, we told her if she got all of her stickers for the entire month/chart, we would take her to her most favorite place, Paradise Park (which, if all continues to go well, we will be going on Sunday). There have been nights when she has almost been willng to give up her sticker, but then we remind her if she misses just one sticker, we can't go to Paradise Park and then she reconsiders. We plan to gradually start increasing the number of bites she has to take to get a sticker, since she's been doing so well with this.

D.,
I wanted to let you know that I know your concern as a mom and wanting your daughter to get the nutrition she needs so she can gain weight and stay healthy. I wanted to let you know that I was introduced me a product called Isagenix, that has an amazing nutritional shake. This shake is all organic and has a pantent on their live enzymes, which is the delivery system for the nutrition. So I give my daughter a shake a day and have since she was a baby. They love this shake. It is doctor recommended, and I would love to share more about it with you. I could even send you a bit of information on this, if you would like. My number is ###-###-#### or you can reach me by email at ____@____.com
God bless,
S.

I honestly thing this is just a phase. I have two girls who went through the same thing. They are still a little picky, now 13 and 15, but they still eat. Does she like peanut butter or bologna? I usually just made that sandwhich if it got to the point they hadn't ate anything all day. It was something they liked and had protein in it. They loved those types of sandwhich's, so it helped ease my worries. Trust me, if they are hungry, they will eat. I have three kids now and a step-daughter and trust me, their tastes are all different. They would like me to be a restaurant and make what each of them want, but I refuse. If they don't want the big meal I spent an hour or more preparing, then they can have a plain sandwhich and a glass of milk. They do grow out of the stage however! My 15 year old eats like my husband now! Crazy!

I as going to throw out advice you might not like to hear.
You are going to school, works full-time, member of LIONS, and claim to have two wonderful children 19 months apart
When are you at home with your children? Early morning and maybe two to three hours nightly? Children can control their enviornments as adults do. Children have two control factors that can drive parents absolutely nuts. Children can control food intake and personal releases of fluid and bowel movements. Not the best of what one might think, but they are controled by the mind and released by the body.
When I read the part "going to school, work FULL TIME and other I read "RED FLAG." Picky eaters are everywhere, but if your food plan is scheduled and controlled, well so is your child's. Picky eating is one thing, but I agree with all the other responses. If your child is on track for weight scale and the doctor does not view any alarms of concern, then review your home life. Children are not conditioned as we adults are. Children seek opportunities to be nurtured and if you are not available, the child will seek other attention methods, food being one of them. I may be way off, but I believe you should review this area. I was blessed to be home with my children during the earliest years. They are grown and are still picky eaters, but the control factors were never an issue. I have many friends that had a full schedule as you, and struggled with the same issues. The good thing the children are young and will grow up to be just like you. It is the teen years that will really need to watch because these factors can play in again for control in your home. If all is good count your blessings and don't worry about the small stuff. All will survive. Blessing to you and your family.

My daughter is almost 5 and son 2 1/2 and they can be really picky at dinner. I give them vitamins everyday to try and help with the lack of nutrition they're not getting in the food they eat. I also just recently bought Jessica Seinfeld's book Deceptively Delicious. It shows you how to add vegetable and fruit purees into things your child most likely will eat. It didn't take long to make the purees and the kids have enjoyed the meals. I still put veggies on their plates and they may or may not eat them, but usually they eat the part of the meal with the puree. My husband even eats the meals! I know there are several books like her out there.

I remember the stress of this too as I had a premature baby who was also very picky when it came to eating. I worried that she was not getting enough to eat and was frustrated. My advice to you is to choose at least 1 to 2 items that she will eat at a meal and offer those along with the meal. There is a compromise that goes along with this. Along with having these items, I also told her that her tastebuds will change and she needs to at least try one bite of the other items on the plate (small or big didn't really matter to me), and if she still didn't care for it that was fine. We aren't huge on sweets in our house, however I would not let her have dessert if she did not eat enough of the healthy stuff. She is now 13, healthy and amazingly a very good eater. When we have premature babies there is such a sense of the need for them to grow and I realized that I needed to relax. I believe that giving her a choice made a huge difference. We still tease about the tastebuds changing and, of course, I get the eye rolling number, but, you know what, she will at least give it a bite before she says she doesn't like it. Good luck!

Hi D.,

My mother also complained that I was such a TERRIBLY picky eater starting when I turned about 4 years old. I was also a very small child as well. I would not eat anything with meat or green specks in it, so my mom could not cook anything with chopped green onions or cilantro in it. And she got very frustrated trying to think of meals that would be nutritious enough for the whole family and something that I would eat. Luckily, I grew out of this phase, but it wasn't until I was a teenager. I think if she hadn't accomodated me so well, maybe I would have grown out of it earlier.

In our house, I just serve my 3 1/2 year old daughter whatever we are having, and let her choose what she wants and doesn't want to eat off her plate. She has one of those Dora kids plates with dividers in them, and she absolutely loves to eat off it. I try to fill most of the sections up with steamed veggies, and there is a small round section where I put her dessert which is typically some type of fresh fruit. Maybe you can pick a plate with a character that your daughter likes (Disney princesses, Hannah Montana, etc) and if you are consistent and serve meals in this plate to her, maybe she may venture to try it. Good luck!

I have a 2 1/2 year old daugther who is a picky eater too. Her doctor told me that she will eat when she is hungry. Let her pick some of her own foods to eat. I know this has helped with my daughter. I have her a few options and let her pick what she wants to eat. It may not be what I want her to eat, but at least she is eating. I know for every lunch & dinner meal she has a meat and fruit/veggie. I also gave her Pedisure as a supplement since she tends not to eat a whole lot. That has helped too. My daughter also tends to eat off of my plate b/c she thinks I have something she does not. I know that is creating a bad habit, but I can't afford for her to loose to much weight. Hang in there. I know it's hard. A just to let you know, I'm a full-time working mommy and have struggled with your same issue. Hope this helps.

Have you heard of Extra Virgin Coconut Oil? In Asia, we use that for cooking. It is really good for the body, better than Olive Oil or regular cooking oil. It is known to even remove gallstones and kidney stones. Try using this in everything that you cook and even if she is a picky eater, since you will be using this in all the foods you will be cooking, a little food that goes to her body will have the coconut oil in it. Virgin Coconut Oil is also very good for adults. Google Extra Virgin Coconut Oil and read the benefits of it. Also, try Zeolite, just a few drops in your drink or water, won't have any taste at all and it removes all the toxins in your body like a detox. Zeolite removed my sister's cancer cells. My sister had Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer, she is a doctor herself and when we sent her Zeolite to take, when they removed her ovaries, her doctor and herself was so shocked to find out that the cancer cells were gone. This is also good for children and adults. Go to Zeolite.com and read all the testimonials and benefits of this drink.

Hi, D.. I am a big believer in letting children eat however much they choose at mealtime. If she is still okay on the doctor's weight chart, I would not worry. It sounds like she is fighting for control over this issue. If less emphasis is put on eating, she may start eating more again. I would recommend putting a small portion of whatever you are serving on a plate, and make a standing rule that if she doesn't finish what is on her plate, she gets no dessert or anything else until the next meal. If you know she hates something, try to find something in the same food group that she does like, but do not make a separate meal for her. Try and have one thing on the plate that she will eat. YOu can also mix pureed foods into things she does eat, but in my opinion, this is a lot of extra work. Try to end the power struggle, and the problem may resolve itself. Also, try to start her on vitamins if she isn't already. Good Luck!

She probably eats more than you think. I am not sure how my 5 year old (rail thin too) uses the bathroom regularly but she does. I used to really worry, but now I have really backed off and she has come around to asking to try new things she sees or I cook. Most of the time she does not like it, but I am happy that now she tries most things. I have healthy snacks available (she goes and gets them herself - mostly) and that frees me up to cook like I normally do. I do not force her to eat things usually - unless it is something I know she likes and she asked for it. Then I say you need to finish xyz before you can have playtime or story or whatever. Good luck!

Hi! I feel your pain! I have 7 year old twin daughters who have sensory issues. It used to just effect their touch, nothing sticky,messy, wet, no grass, on their hands. We worked with a Occupational therapist and seemed to solve those issues. At exactly that time the twins quit eating everything they normally would eat and began eating only bland white or yellow food. They now eat only some form of processed chicken nugget, strip, dynosaur, etc. They eat mashed potatoes,fries,fish sticks and mac & cheese. they will occasionally eat a banana but no other fruit. They drink Sunny D, Apple juice and milk. It is like someone flipped a switch. I do fix them what they will eat everyday because they absolutely will not eat or try anything else. It causes a complete meltdown. They will get so upset that they will make themselves sick. Its almost like an eating disorder. They have gone for days without eating anything other than a poptart befor school if I don't fix what they eat. And School lunch is another problem. There is nothing you can pack in a lunch besides chips and cookies they will eat. So I pay for lunch at school everyday in the hopes that peer pressure will cause them to try something new but it hasnt happened yet. So I just don't know what to do about it. I wish I had some helpful advice but they say that if the kids get involved of making it they will try it. Perhaps that will work for you. I bought the girls a little apron and let them fix things with me. It has worked a time or two but they dont like it after trying it so we are back to square one.

I agree with Jennifer's response about the Juice Plus+ gummies. Your daughter will think they are candy and yet she'll be getting all the nutrition of 17 fruits, veggies and grains EVERY day. What she eats on top of that is a bonus. Let me tell you, that brings peace of mind to a mom who worries about their child not eating properly.

You can read my Mamasource profile for more info or email me at ____@____.com.

I have many friends whose children are thriving now thanks to these gummie treats. BTW, they also make capsules for us adults!

Blessings,

M.

Hi D.,

I know how you feel.I and my friends used to feel the same way when our kids refused to eat halthy food.I thought I should share with you my experience and how it helped.Kids start eating right at the right age.if you force them do something they are more adamant about not eating it..!so does it mean that you don't provide kids the nutrition they keed?..absolutely not..but come up with a way that is fun and convenient for both of you and that still takes care of the nutrition.We friends have found a healthy solution to this

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Cheers,
G.

Hi D.-
I would recommend looking into Juice Plus as a fruit and veggie supplement. It is whole food nutrition with a solid base of research to back it up so it is much better than individual vitamins. My family takes it. It boosts the immune system and has a slew of other benefits- good for the whole family especially with cold and flu season upon us. Check it out on line. They have gummies for kids and the ones I know really enjoy them. Since it is whole food it is also much safer than vitamins for kids- they cant overdose on them.

Hi there D. my son too was premature at birth and is now 10. he has always been a troublesome eater it would drive me crazy. i always thought he was never getting enough nutrients. Anyway I had brought this up to my pediatrician and he told me to find at least one thing he likes, for him it was PB&J and he ate it at every meal also I would leave little snacks for him at his reach so he was at least getting some calories during the day. If she like peanutbutter that has protein and alot of calories. He's now ten and even though he still doesnt eat in hugh quanities he had become very diverse in his taste and is now on the charts for weight. hang in there it gets better.

My suggestion is to do very little. Your daughter will not starve herself. This may be just a way to get her way.

I do have a big HOWEVER, you should show some respect to her likes and dislikes. If your partner hated broccoli would you continue to serve it? Probably not or not very often. You would adjust your menu to suit likes and dislikes. You now have someone else's likes and dislikes and you should try to adjust your menu. I would also work on increasing her likes and decreasing your dislikes. Have her take one bite of something new, have her pick something new at the store or let her help prepare something.

Good luck!

D.-
This is very similar to a question I just posted today. I am having some of the same problems. My daughter is 5 & was born at 34 weeks. I plan to attend a Picky Eaters & Children's Health lecture in Edwardsville, IL on Tuesday, July 29 at 7pm if you want to join me. I am hoping it will provide some suggestions. It is given by an RN. What kind of responses did you get to your question? I am anxious to see how others handle this situation.

D., my youngest son was the same way. Just be patient and keep offering nutritious foods. She will eat when she is hungry. My son would go days without eating more than a few bites. He is now four and one half years old and a good eater. If your child is healthy and active, try not to worry. My doctor gave me that advice and he was right. Easier to believe now that my son is a good eater; at the time, I had a difficult time trusting that my child was going to be fine. Hang in there! Kati

My son is 8 and VERY picky eater. He goes through phases like that where he just won't eat anything. I would 1st check with your pediatrician about any underlying medical reason (my son was dx with severe GERD at 6). We finally learned that if we just ignored what he ate or didn't eat, it made mealtime so much easier. A lot of the pickiness and refusing to eat came because he got lots of attention at mealtimes. We still have many days that he doesn't eat much, but what works for us is...he chooses breakfast and lunch (I only make the 1st thing he chooses-if he changes his mind after it's made, too bad). At dinner (usually our biggest battle), I make sure there's at least 1 thing that I know he likes. If he doesn't eat anything, he just eats a lot a breakfast the next morning.

My daughter is now almost 9 and at 18 months had LOST weight since I stopped nursing. She went from 15% to 1%, but still on the weight chart! Her height remained 15% all her life. She was put on Pediasure (available at grocery stores, she likes vanilla) and would have 2 or 3 bottles a day. Later (around 4 years) we switched to Carnation Instant Breakfast (a lot cheaper and still lots of protein and calcium and vitamins). She still has Carnation every morning, but drinks less. She will still eat one kind of food, 3x day, for days, then switch. For a while it was a half a hotdog, breakfast lunch & dinner, yuk! But she ate! Now she is on a corn-chips dipped in sour cream run, go figure. My doctor said: "the worst thing you can do is make a naturally thin child fatter because YOU think she should eat". I was at home with them (my oldest now 11 was always in the 98%) so in my opinion working has nothing to do with it. She will be fine. My brother-in-law (now 50)was the same way according to his mom, and still only eats bread, meat, corn and salad but is healthy as a horse.

Hi, D..
I too have a rail-thin 4 y.o. who eats like a bird. Is your daughter playful and energetic? Is she where she should be developmentally? If so, take the pressure off at mealtimes. She will eat what she needs. If she's not, definitely talk to her pediatrician about underlying causes.
Good for you for not becoming a short order cook -- she should be served the same food as the rest of the family. I do give my daughter Pediasure, though, about one bottle per day. It's in the same grocery aisle as formula & baby food.

I too am a busy mom with a full-time job. I have a 3 year old boy and a daughter who will be two in October. I don't agree with the response that the child isn't eating to seek attention from you. The fact that you are writing in and have the time to even do so, shows that you are not a neglectful mother. Don't feel guilty for working and going to school, you are probably doing so to provide a better life for your family. We can't all be blessed to be a stay at home mom-nor would we all want to. That being said, my two are polar opposites. The 3year old is very picky and it is hit or miss with what he eats. I try to pick things I know he will like, but statistics show that frequent exposure to veggies and stuff is the ticket. It may take ten times for him/her to eat it. Children have stronger taste buds than adults which is why they prefer bland food. My 2year old on the other hand eats everything in site. I would say just keep putting meals on the table and she'll eat when she's hungry. I do give them gummy vitamins and pediasure.

we have a shelf on the fridge at kid level that has stuff they can grab and eat when they are hungry. yogurt, sliced turkey and ham, cheese sticks, strawberries, apples... they like the independance of getting their own food whenever they feel like it.

don't force it. let her eat when she's hungry, and maybe two bites is enough for one meal. she won't starve if there are lots of choices... when she really is hungry she will eat.

we used to try to force my son to eat (you have to eat that before you can have ice cream, etc) but i realized that our dinners were soooooo super negative and stressful that nobody was enjoying our time together at the dinner table. so we started basically ignoring what they ate or trying to get them to eat, and instead focused on making dinner time pleasant. we talk about things that we did that day, and try to enjoy our time as a family. honestly, that's helped more than anything else-- just giving them the freedom and not pressuring them. that and ketchup. anything tastes better dipped in ketchup!

if she refuses to eat, let her get hungry.... she needs to understand that the consequence of not eating is being hungry... not getting lots of attention and bribing and yummy tasting food from mom.

snacks through out the day add up to quite a lot, so offer healthy snacks often.

I'm not there yet, but this is some advice I've seen that sounds like it could be good. One thing to try would be letting her pick out/help make part of dinner. Like you could say, we're going to have fish for dinner. Would you like to choose a vegetable to have with it? Or if that's too broad for her to understand, would you like broccoli or green beans with it? If she has input in the decision making, it might help her feel like she has some control and therefore, more interest in eating it.

Another thing I heard was if she doesn't want what you've made, don't fix her a plate. Fix one for yourself and one for your husband and one for your other child. Then when your daughter asks where hers is tell her she didn't want to eat so you didn't make one for her. But she has to sit at the table with you while the rest of you do. As you're eating say, this is yummy, are you sure you don't want some? Depending on how stubborn she is, she may not give in right away. But eventually she will. And later when she says she's hungry, tell her you'll be happy to warm up some leftovers for her.

One last thought. I am a picky eater. Less so than when I was young, but still pretty picky. So try to make sure you are offering at least one thing you know she likes or she'll feel like you are deliberately not wanting her to be included. My sister and I liked different foods and we would fight over whose turn it was to have what they wanted. We always had to try the other one's favorite, but we also had something else at the meal that we liked so we didn't feel left out. Good luck!

D.
Have you kept a food journal? My daughter is very thin she is 11 years old, of normal height and only weighs 54lbs. Everyone assumes that it is because she doesn’t eat or is a picky eater. I thought well maybe they are right. WRONG her intake is always between 2500 and 4000 a day apparently she has a high metabolism. Granted she not fond of trying new foods but she does eat healthy her favorite food is steak and can/does eat 2 rib eyes at one setting. Luckily we raise our own beef. My point is, that being thin doesn't mean that they aren’t healthy or that we should fatten them up unless a doctor has advised us to do so. Everyone tell my daughter how thin she is and it used to bother her now as she has gotten older she just says thank you or it’s great to be skinny. My oldest daughter was even thinner doctors thought it was failure to thrive at 9 and 10 years old. She is now 18 weights in at 104 is 5'5" and still sometimes sets the alarm on her phone to tell her that she needs to get something to eat. Eating is not a priority for her yet she loves to eat when she decides it time but it’s like she doesn't have the feeling of being hungry like the rest of us. As for the response that you child is doing this to gain your attention since your a working mom is funny to me, because I guess my skinny kids were trying to get me to go to work since I have always been a stay at home mom since the I became pregnant with my first child who will be 19 in Jan. Some of the best moms I know work full time and some of the worst moms I know are stay at home. Working vs Stay at home is BS.

If your daughter has had her checkups with the doctor and is healthy, then I wouldn't worry about how much she eats. Your job is to provide healthy meals for her and her job is to decide how much of them to eat. I know its hard to feel like they aren't getting what they need, but the more you "give in" to pickiness, the more restricted your options will get. To ease YOUR anxiety, I'd check into giving her PediaSure supplements. They are shakes that provide extra nutrition. I wouldn't make mealtime a battle. I'd have a set amount of time that she is to sit at the table with the family whether she is actually eating or not, then if she decides she's done and the time is up, excuse her. I would NOT give her anything to eat before the next meal time if she hadn't eaten at mealtime. You are the parent, you call the shots. As long as you are providing healthy meals for her, you've done your job, and when she gets hungry enough, she'll eat. Good luck!

I'm late on this one, and I hadn't heard that having the child help with food prepararation is good as a remedy, but it makes sense! My 'take' on picky eaters is that all kids will eat when they're really hungry, and if you turn it into a battle, the child always 'wins'. Eating should be a happy experience. I'm 51, the youngest of 4, and we were expected to eat everything on our plates. Then when we hit our growth spurts at adolescence, Mom started commenting on how big we were and we've all 4 had a complex about it. I became anorexic (in 1973 -- before our country doctor ever heard of such a thing!) and only by the grace of God did I recover. I've always told our 4 kids to eat until they're full and stop. Only 1 is overweight, and he's just always been big like my grandfather was (started out 8lbs, 13 oz and 22-1/2" long).

God bless.

Try offering the carnation instant shake BEFORE BED. That way she can sleep on the calories and gain weight, rather than burning them off during the day. Also try new foods at snack, to reduce the pressure on meal times. Have a 'new foods party' before regular snack. These tips are from the feeding team at our childrens hospital.

When everyone in our lives started saying that my skinny daughter was a picky eater, I was worried that it would become a self fulfilling prophecy. So I made a poster for the wall that said A is NOT a picky eater! I wrote all the letters of the alphabet and we tried to find foods that she liked corresponding to each letter. Filling it in was fun for her and encouraged her to become a little more adventurous. Watching it fill up proved to her that she was not a picky eater. She is still skinny. When she doesn't like dinner, I tell her to get herself something- cheese stick, apple, almonds- something healthy. I have to say. I am accommodating to her eating desires because she is so skinny and the pediatrician is always telling me I need to feed her more. I worry about making too much of a fuss about food and diet. I do talk to her about nutrition and she knows what it feels like to have a sugar crash. So I remind her that she needs to eat protein if she wants to avoid that feeling. Maybe if you asked her to help make dinner she would be more excited about eating it.
Good luck!