Piggyback on Social Media/FB Posts

Oh this makes my brain hurt.
I guess I just learned to take a hint, long ago. We have had friends, good friends that we used to hang out with all the time, kids and parents, get togethers, etc. But then things change, they shift, and don't you just feel it? Unreturned calls, excuses not to do things you used to do together, less enthusiasm when you finally talk or see each other, stuff like that.
So sure, maybe it stings a little at first, but it's pretty rare to remain lifelong friends with the same people and families for many years. And spending time thinking about the other person's motivations or actions is SUCH a waste of time, really.
Focus on the people who WANT to see you and spend time with you and life is not only so much better but 100 percent drama free!

I can honestly say it would not matter or hurt MY feelings.

Because I know we cannot all be invited to everything. Even the very best of friends are allowed to have other friends, other groups of friends and their own families.

And if people have to tip toe around you to not hurt your feelings by fudging or lying to you as not to hurt your feelings?
You may need to check yourself for what YOU have as a problem.

Honestly, Mature adults do not feel slighted. We are secure enough to know that the people that love us and like us, would never do anything to hurt us and they are allowed their own lives away from us.. We will always love each other. Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Don't get wrapped up in that.

This really isn't a FB/social media issue.

Maybe it's not about you or your daughter. Maybe they financially had to cut back. Or maybe they're really not friends if that "friendship" is contingent on what they can get from people.

Honestly, if my "friend" were like the person you're describing, I'd chalk you and your kids' not being included as a win.

Social media allows us to be a fly on the wall. The trouble with having extra knowledge sometimes is just that - you see what you shouldn't or don't want to see and either it's true or it's just enough of a tidbit to spark your imagination into thinking terrible things. I try to remember things like "it's a highlight reel" and reality still factors into IRL events. My old friend is in town with his fiance...but realistically we are FB friends and not friend friends, so why would he specifically tell me or arrange to meet us? Why should I get upset about being exactly where I am. If the mom is having trouble seeing her son or daughter's photos from nearby, then she needs to speak up. We often speak AROUND each other and neglect to say, "Hey, that hurt my feelings. Why were you at x and didn't see me?" I've been the next town over and didn't visit my mom - for various reasons. Or I've been with my mom and not seen my friends. Sometimes it's just logistics and nothing more.

And here's the other thing - if FB hurts your feelings often, turn it off. Or check in once a week. My DH checks once a week and doesn't get caught up in the day to day stuff. He is mostly on FB for our hobby group and the younger people who never answer email.

It is a tool. It should not be a replacement for real life.

Now, specifically about this "friend" - if you see that she's a user, then evaluate the friendship overall, and if you don't really care to be a free (nsert thing here) and it bothers you, either unfriend her on FB or unfriend her in real life. The girls' friendship has no bearing on yours unless you allow it. I think FB unfortunately brings out the HS in many of us now and then.

Its a shame that its hurting your feelings and its total understandable. However, she may have just decided she doesn't like you so much anymore now that she's gotten to know you over 6 years. It takes a long time to get to know someone you only see every now and then unlike when people are younger and would spend every weekend and after work together. Back then you could figure out pretty quickly if someone was going to be a close friend. Now its an hour here or there and its with other adults or with the kids. So, you get to know each other in small increments. She may just not like you as much as she hoped that she would. Its not either of your faults. You can't be who you're not and neither can she. Im sure it hurts your kids as well, but if her kids were begging to see your kids Im sure shed give in- so they probably don't care so much as well. Im not trying to be mean about this. I get that its painful. Hey, give her some credit- lying is bad but you can look at it as though she was trying to save your feelings rather than just saying - hey, you're not on my A list anymore. And its OK, being a B list or C list friend is ok, Im quite sure you have a couple of friends like that too.

Maybe you've done this too. Try to think about the actual good friends you have that you don't call often enough. Are there friends you've had for years that you take for granted? Friends that want to be with you but that you don't go out of your way to see or make play dates with just because of time or distance or whatever. How do you think they feel...probably like a B lister even though you tell them they are on your A list.

No one is perfect but we do have the right to choose who to spend our precious time with...and this girl doesn't want to spend hers with you. You said she uses people, why do you want to be friends with someone who uses people and lies? It seems a little clinical to me. Maybe you are attracted to people who push you away. Maybe its a challenge or something. Either way, don't teach any of this to your kids, it isn't healthy. Teach them to let things go, not harp on them. Teach them to love themselves enough to let toxic people go and with good riddance and find healthy relationships.

Join some new groups and make some new friends or reconnect with old ones. You are a good person or none of this would upset you but you need to handle it like a mom.

Good luck.

Oh mygosh I don't know how to deal with some of this myself. For instance, nephew and his wife had twins.. and they have two older children. I remembered how hard it was to have one baby so I have gone out of my way to go to their house thinking it would be too tough for them to get the babies in gear to come to my house (about thirty minutes away). Well, according to FB are out and about to all sorts of things, events that could have actually invited us to, for example my nephew coaches water sports the public can go and they have those babies at the meets and they take the babies to her relatives all the time and some are a couple of hours away. So I feel hurt because I have gone to her home and parent's home and she tells me how she appreciates it, etc.etc. But how can I not feel hurt? This is one of the nicest girls I know, but then we were I actually think quite by accident invited to the baptism which was supposedly for very few people (is sixty a few these days?) and I think we were invited because my sister said something by mistake. You see all this stuff on FB. Or I remember getting upset about someone who solicited ideas about her wedding, where should it be, etc.and I knew her for many years just haven't hung out all the time recently. Next thing I know, after acknowledging my advice,etc. they are posting shower pictures on FB (again what is a small group and it was with lots of FRIENDS, not a business or church group or family ) and I finally realized although it was somewhat babyish on my part, I decided to cut her From my FB, because I was getting hurt by this each day. The truth is in a world without Facebook I would probably not have known I wasn't invited and wouldn't even sit and cry and wonder what was wrong with me. I'd just go about my life. So honestly, even though I think I'm pretty agreeable and easy to get along with. I feel just as hurt about some of these things and wish I wasn't on FB half the time, but it's a way for My husband and I to keep up with relatives who are far away. Plus I certainly realize inside it shouldn't hurt me at all. It's just how people's lives are.

Perhaps a brief sting but for all the reasons others have written below I'd move on and definitely not think any more about it. If I found myself continuing to wonder if we were still friends I'd call and reconnect. I would not mention the party I'd catch up in a friendly way showing interest in her life. This gives me a fresh start in our relationship. If she's cold/indifferent I'd focus time and emotion on friends I know love me.

As someone else said, we all change over time. We develop new interests, new responsibilities. I enjoy those I'm with and don't fret over those I'm not with. If I want to be with ssomeone I call and arrange to get together. It just does not matter who else with whom they spend time.

We see posts on here all the time where someone is planning a party, the guest list is out of control, they don't have the budget/space for everyone they want to invite. One piece of advice that always pops up- cut back on the guest list. It is just something that happens.
I try very hard to invite every child to my son's birthday parties who has invited one of them to their party. I know that not every kid that we invite will necessarily invite my kids "back." Emotionally, I have a tiny twinge of annoyance if I know of a party for a kid who was at one of our parties and my kid isn't invited. But the logical part of me knows that everyone has to make choices, that's just reality.
She doesn't owe you an explanation for not inviting you, even though you have every right to feel a little sad. I think it would be very awkward for her to call you up each year with an explanation of why you were not invited. She probably does not want people to be hurt but is uncomfortable making "uninvitation" calls.

Like I said on the other thread, don't make it my business and it won't be any of my business.

Under most circumstances I wouldn't go up to someone's door, knock on it and show them pictures of a party or get-together where the other person wasn't invited (unless it was for obvious reasons like geographical distance). And that's a bit like what you're doing when you post something for *all* your FB friends to see.

Another way I think about it - when you're on FB, with a large number of friends and you post stuff unrestricted - it's like you're standing in the middle of a room making an announcement and then you get surprised when some people are hurt, feeling left out, etc. Of course not everyone is listening or paying attention (in fact many are probably not). But some are.

I just find the whole thing weird. And I find it strange that people here don't seem to get that. Of course we all need to be big girls and boys. But that doesn't mean that you forget the audience of what you're posting.

I suppose this is a whole new frontier of etiquette that we are all learning to navigate. None of us grew up with this stuff. But like most things in life a little common sense goes a long way.

ETA: I do agree that - if FB is too toxic or triggering for someone for whatever reason - then take a break from it.

ive gone thru this on fb myself-found out important stuff about my kids-yea grrr their grown-i just simply askd them to please give me info before posting on fb.
as far as your daughters friends mother-fooey on her-count yourself lucky you didnt get stuck babysitting or doing her chores of the party-move on-yea it stings-and mark my words she will be calling you to help with something..and your satisfaction will be saying no your busy.been there did that...let it roll off your back.