Do You Feel Left Out?

Yes, that has happened to me. They all had a huge gingerbread making party and we were the only family 'in the group' not invited, it was also a small group. I tend to distance myself from those people over time as they tend to get more cliquish. I'm not a raving lunatic and neither are my kids, so sometimes I wonder, "what's wrong with me?"... but, oh well.

Yah...it stings. I took apart my Facebook page a few years ago and rebuilt it with people I only care about. I also use it as a news-feed for things that I like.

I would post a comment on the pictures and say something like "That looks like so much fun, wish we had been there!".

As a person who rarely glances at FB because it's so annoying, and one who would rather die than attend lots of playdates or mom group things, EVEN I CAN SEE how this would hurt your feelings if you wanted to go and like the people. So Don't feel bad about feeling bad. AND it sounds like you don't WANT to be left out of things. SO, take charge so they don't forget you next time. Send a comment like, "WOW that looks like a blast-sorry we missed it, call us next time!...." and another fun, happy comment about the pics to show you aren't mad, but you really wanted to go. They won't forget next time when they say, "OK let's only pick 5 people" as their random concept for the event or whatever. You're totally right, LOTS of people weren't invited and it's random that this group set it up suddenly with whoever was listening or whatever. Just stay positive and proactive so you are "in" the most active social core of the group. Touch base with someone every couple of days, so you're fresh in people's minds when things come up. There are always a FEW in these groups who are the most social while lots of the others are "barely" social. Maybe those five were in constant contact the few days before the event and didn't think outside of that box.

Cliques. There not just for high school anymore.

And posting pix IS kind a testament to their insensitivity.
Try to ignore it.
Organize something yourself with the moms and kids you & your kids prefer!

I'd say generate your own fun !
Of course one feels left out but the thing is nobody should depend on others for happiness. Be your own fun house :)
And it is a very rational explanation that you can't invite every body each time you have a party !!
So instead of feeling left out, stay positive & think of ideas to create fun for your own self and your kids with the 30 kiddies and 15 mommies :)
Hope you have a blast each time you plan something. GOD bless !

Dear....it's just another reason not to gauge your life by what happens on facebook.

I personally have never seen the rationality in posting everything you are doing on facebook.
I'm a fairly private person so I don't let everyone know everything I'm doing.
Of course, it's the business of the poster but then it can lead to someone else's feelings being hurt.

You weren't invited. Make your own fun.
AND, if you don't mind me saying, DON'T POST IT ON FACEBOOK.

I don't know how things came to us believing we have to let everyone, even strangers, knowing what it is we are up to at every moment.

Live your life the way you would if there was NO such thing as facebook and have as much fun with your kids on your own time as possible.

That's all your KIDS will remember.
Do your own thing.

Just my opinion.

Oh totally. I had started a little group of mom friends that would get together once a month for dinner. Over time, a bunch of us had grown apart, but I would always invite them all to stuff for old times' sake. I just saw on FB that one of the moms had a holiday party that I wasn't invited to but that included some of the other moms from the group that I started, whom she would never had known otherwise. I'm not gonna lie, it really did hurt my feelings.

But WTH. Life's too short to fret about people who don't want to really be friends with us. It's their loss, and there's no accounting for taste. Just because they can't fully appreciate my particular brand of awesome doesn't make me any less awesome. :) There are plenty of other people who "get" me.

P.S. It's time to hide those "friends" on FB.

This is why I only have family on my facebook account. We all live far apart and this makes it easier to share day to day stuff with my siblings, cousins, aunts & uncles from my family and my hubby’s family.

I tried a separate account that was just my friends and it was like a contest or a competition to see who had what and how much. I have closed that account and just kept my family one without friends on it.

I don't blame you . . .

Yet another reason why I dislike FB.

okay you acknowledge that it's a large group and not everyone is invited...

you weren't necessarily left out....it's sad..yeah...especially when you see all the pics..instead of feeling sorry for yourself - have fun too!! You don't need a group of people over to your home...get your kids together and make cookies yourself....spend time with your kids instead of in front of the computer looking at what others are doing....

if the kids are already in bed - breath a sigh of relief that you were able to sit back and relax while the others were watching kids!! :)

I think FB can definitely fuel insecurities & bad feelings. From what I see it tends to do more damage than good. Thing is, you probably wouldn't have known about it if you didn't have the FB. I kind of miss the world I lived in, where I was blissfully unaware.

I don't know what to tell you. It sucks to not be included. But as a reasonable adult, I'm sure we know that in most cases we're not being left out on purpose.

What I really don't like is when someone doesn't get invited to something, sees it on FB, and then makes a Debbie Downer post crying or laying a guilt trip on the other person. It's just childish & desperate.

Well that was really crappy of your friends to not include you and your kid(s) this evening - but even crappier to post pictures on facebook for everyone (especially you) to see! I'm sorry you were left out - I've been there before too and it doesn't feel very good. I have a love / hate relationship with facebook though - I love it and no matter how hard I try I can't resist signing on at least once a day but at the same time I get so annoyed with some of the same people and their bragging posts / pictures - yet I can't bring myself to unfriend them.

FB is not for everyone!

:{

I feel the same way. I actually quit Facebook for a while for the same reason!

I'm not sure what to tell you except yes, I feel left out too, and it actually really helps to see I'm not alone. So thank you for posting this. :)

I completely understand how you feel. I use to be on facebook and I deleted my account as I found facebook made me feel bad, more than good.
I rather not know what is going on...........because yes sometimes you might be included, others not. Probably not even personal, but human nature to feel that way. Easy to say, have your own fun, have your own party, but sorry I don't feel that works. Still going to feel like you were left out. I know there are many users of facebook, but just my opinion, I think it does more harm than good.

i hate it too, not that i am dying for playmates :) but when you do actually realize you were left out you can't help but wonder: why? so while we were invited to almost everything this season, there was one outing that i had suggested (driving to another state with kids for a fun weekend). great idea right? yes it worked perfectly only problem being we were not invited. that hurt my feelings and i actually asked the mom who organized it. she said that she didn't even realize or thought about inviting and that she was sorry. i don't buy it but then again no one owes me anything. so i am leaving that feeling behind.

Yes, I feel the same way.

yet another reason facebook is not great ... things happen people have opinions and people get excluded you ask questions or you move on.

Well they don't act like they are your friends. Go somewhere with a few people and post some great photos on you site. If you hear from them or they invite you and your son next time you will know it worked.

IF it makes you feel any better they probably had no idea that you would feel "left out" - they just had fun with their "friends" and posted pics.

If you are part of a big play group like that you know that there are bound to be smaller, tighter circles within it. I was part of a MOm's board for a long time and while I enjoyed the actual "board" part (kinda like here) I never really went to the events nor was I regularly invited to the parties. I doesn't hurt any less - but if you think about it in a rational way (which is hard cause it is an emotional thing) it's a little easier to think logistics and stuff.

On the flip side - plan a little party with your close friends then post pics like crazy! :-)

I think it's normal to feel left out but so good that you see the rational side that everyone can't always invite everybody and that you are not always going to be on everybodys list just as everybody is not on yours. Just when you see pictures or hear about it try to remember that it has nothing to do with you or your son and remember the times you have done something with a select few and remember your intentions towards the ones that were not included and just remember it's a number or situation thing and not a personal thing. Everytime I plan any kind of event between family, friends and neighbors its impossible to have everybody I want here or it's a last minute get together and just tell whoever I run into.

Ah, social networking at it's best. Didn't someone just ask yesterday why people bash Facebook? Well, here is one example - people's posts hurt others feelings. You would not have known about this party, and thus would not have had hurt feelings, if it weren't for this social network site.

Sorry you were excluded. I know it hurts your feelings. I acutally can feel your pain! Again sorry. Just try not to think about it.