Playing During Breastfeeding

Updated on May 13, 2008
S.S. asks from Clackamas, OR
16 answers

I have a 3-month old girl, who is eating every 3 hours or so. Recently, though she has taken to playing during her feeding. It's very cute with lots of smiles, but when all is said and done, very little, if any milk has been consumed. She's still smiles afterwards, so maybe she's not hungry. However, at about 2.5 to 2.75 hours she starts showing signs of becoming hungry. So I am confused. I'd appreciate any insight.

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T.S.

answers from Eugene on

Your baby is completely normal!!!

At 3 months, breastfed babies very typically want to nurse between every 2-3 hours during the day. Remember, breastmilk is a very complete and digestible food--designed especially for your particular baby at her stage of life. Because of this, her little body is very efficient at using it. The smiling and playing and "flirting" with you is one of the beautiful gifts you and she both receive when you breastfeed. Nursing her is not just a feeding method, it's also an emotional and spiritual growth experience for your baby.

You may feel like very little milk is being consumed, as you put it, because now that your body has regulated, you no longer get engorged the way you would when she was just a few weeks old or even for the first month or two. Don't worry...she's still getting plenty of milk, even if your breasts don't feel as "full" as they used to. That's also normal.

Enjoy this time while you can! And just wait for the "acrobatic nursing" at 6-18 months!

Blessings,
Fiora

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S.B.

answers from Portland on

S.,

I'm guessing she's not really all that hungry, but wants the comfort of snuggling more than eating. The problem with feeding when babies aren't hungry is that they get in the habit of little snacks and then they don't empty out the breasts and you get into trouble with breasts that are too full and leak all over the place and sore nipples from frequent snacking. There is also then the possibility of mastitis and you don't want to go there. You want a baby that eats and empties your breasts, and is nice and full until the next feeding time.

Does she take a pacifier? If so, give her one as soon as she starts to play around when nursing. At any rate, stop nursing when she begins to play, or even wait to nurse for as long as possible so that she doesn't play while nursing. Give her a pacifier instead or distract her with something. You want her hungry when she nurses.

Good luck...S.

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

Dear S.,

I have breastfed two children and am now a grandmother. Maybe your little one needs longer between feedings so she will really chow down instead of playing. When my youngest would play it was because he really wasn't hungry yet. She may be the same. However, if she is not gaining weight or showing signs of listlessness, it would be a good idea to get her to your pediatrician soon as it may be a more serious issue.

Jan S.

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N.M.

answers from Seattle on

As other people have said, cutting down on distractions can be helpful, but if you are nursing on demand then every two hours or so could be about right for this age. The play between you two can be bonding and fun, too. There is no reason to schedule such a young baby into specific feeding times. Enjoy nursing!

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

Sounds like she's perfectly normal and is actually getting milk, even while she seems to be playing (and I think it's a good thing that she enjoys nursing so much, because eating (and connecting with mama), after all, should be fun!). Assuming she is peeing and pooping and not losing weight, she's probably just fine, and it's normal for babies to nurse every 1 to 3 hours. So if she's been nursing every 3 hours and is now wanting it a little more often, like every 2 hours, that is not a problem. You can also tell if she's getting milk by seeing her swallow. I'd say just enjoy and appreciate her playfulness!

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A.M.

answers from Seattle on

It is not normal for a baby to go so long between feedings especially if she is nursing. At 3 months they become more aware. She is also getting more milk than you think she is when she is "just Playing"

average adult who is not on a very restricted diet has something to eat or to drink every 40 minutes or less, it would be reasonable that a growing child with a small tummy might need to eat at least that often.

Why don't you enjoy playing with her and feed her when ever she shows signs of wanting to eat. ( putting out her tongue, opening her mouth, getting extra attentive to you, sucking on her hand or anything else, sucking on her bottom lip, rooting, and any other number of behaviors you know her I don't)

At 3 months they grow alot ( and again @ 6 and 9 and 12 and 15 and 18 and 21 and 24 and 36 and 48) so it would be normal for her to step up her nursing. My kids @ that age usually during waking hours nursed @ least once every half hour and often more often ( and that is from the beginning of a nursing to the beginning of the next) yes taht is hard, but likely what they needed, it took alot to do it since I was also working part time with the 2nd and full time with the 3rd but I have no regrets other than I did not always take the time to notice the fun playing they were doing at the same time.

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

Well my 4 month old plays by biting me now! Like the other post said nurse in a darker, quiet place and it should pass. There's a product called nursing necklaces that are designed for mothers to wear, might be more distraction but also might keep her attention on your chest!

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

Eating every 2.5 to 2.75 hours? I'm pretty sure that's normal. I think that's how much time it takes for them to run a cycle of digestion. My two-and-a-half month old eats every 1.5 hours some days, and she doesn't play around when it comes to food. Plus another growth spurt is supposed to come between 3 and 6 months.

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B.A.

answers from Seattle on

It sounds perfectly normal to me! If she's hungry after 2.5 hours then she needs to eat after 2.5 hours and not after 3. It is necessary to keep up your milk supply to feed your baby when she's hungry, not by the clock. In fact, I would highly recommend that you stop looking at the clock and timing her feedings. Babies were just fine being exclusively breastfed for many many years before clocks were invented :)

Best wishes!
~B.

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B.O.

answers from Portland on

Reading your post made me smile. My boys are 18 and 21 years old. Both of them went through the playing/flirting while eating thing. It was so sweet. Enjoy this time. It will pass all too quickly.

At 3 months she isn't able to differentiate the feeding from the emotional and spiritual needs that are being filled by the time you spend together. This gift of time you are giving fills both of you. Don't let the dishes or laundry deprive you of it.

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

My son had a period of time between 6-7 months where the world was more interesting than breast-feeding. I would take him into a dark and quiet room while we nursed to take away any stimulation. The faze passed within 3-4 weeks and we were back to nursing like normal. My guess is that it'll pass soon and so long as she's happy for 2.5 hours in between feedings that she's fine. Breast feeding is nearly impossible to put on a schedule anyway. :)

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D.R.

answers from Portland on

I'd enjoy this time with her, it wont last. I'm a Mother of 3 kids, 13, 10 and 5. Time goes by way too fast. As far as her not getting enough milk, if she's happy at the moment, she's most likely getting what she needs. As far as her getting hungry 2 hrs. later, I'm sure she is hungry again and that is OK. I'm sure this is a phase and it will past, just be patient and enjoy the smiles.
:-)
D.

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K.H.

answers from Seattle on

Reading this was like an arrow through my heart. I immediately had so many lovely memories of nursing my young babies who are now long past nursing days. Those days go by so quickly, so enjoy them! Sit with her as often as she likes and revel in this lovely intimacy.

Her feeding style (lots of feedings with little milk at each one) is actually a very natural way for a baby to feed. I'm sure she's getting enough so as much as possible, sit down with her when she wants you to.

Thanks for the memories! :-)

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L.O.

answers from Seattle on

S.,

It sounds like you have a pretty normal 3 month old. Believe me your daughter is getting enough. It is harder being a breast feeding mom because you can't measure how much milk she is getting like in a bottle, so you have to go on faith and instinct alone. Don't doubt your baby girls ability to stop when she is full/ready to be done.

Your daughters nursing patterns will change as she gets older. When she goes through a growth spurt it will seem like she wants to nurse all day. Try not to worry when she is doing something different. She will because she is changing so much everyday. Trust your instincts. Also I had the same anxiety with my son and I found the book, "Nursing Mother's Companion" a wonderful resource for questions exactly like yours.

Also the "dark quiet room" does work. Although I didn't have my son on a nursing schedule, he nursed on demand, he pretty much set his own schedule which worked out to be about every three hours, some days he wanted to nurse more often, other days he wanted to nurse less often. Don't be afraid to be flexible. Sometimes we are hungry at different times and with different levels of hunger, why should your daughter be any different?

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

Make a nursing necklace. Just use some thread and some beads and she will face you and fondle the necklace while she nurses. Worked for my easily distracted baby. A.

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C.B.

answers from Portland on

My daughter did the same thing. So I'd make her wait until she was really hungry. When she'd first show signs I'd just play with her and distract her until I knew she was really hungry. After a little while she'd get the point of only letting me know when she was actually hungry.
But, alas, it goes in cycles. She's 5 now and she tries to get into the snacking habit. And I have to do something similar. I give her 3 good meals a day and small snacks inbetween. If the snack is too big then she won't eat much of her lunch or dinner. So I keep it to small easy snacks. (Note for the future) :-) Just about everything they do goes in cycles. You just have to be firm about things during the hard times or those times will just keep going as long as they can get away with it.

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