Please Help -- 7Month Old Sleep

Hi, My son was the worst sleeper in the world--as a newborn, he'd only sleep while being rocked--and I absolutely swear by "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.

I SWEAR BY IT!!! I got a copy on eBay for a few bucks, and it is worth it's weight in gold.

Good Luck,

Hugs!

I would encourage you to try to find a way to get the most sleep for everyone, and stop viewing your child as somehow "working" or manipulating you. He is much too young to be doing that yet, and having that kind of attitude toward your children isn't all that helpful as they get older either.

I used an "Arms Reach Bedside Cosleeper" with all of my children until they were somewhere around a year old. This is like a Pack-n-Play that can attach beside your bed, but it has a bassinet insert and one side drops down so that it makes a continuous surface with your bed. Using that allowed me to respond to my kids' needs in the middle of the night without disrupting my sleep too much. It also allowed room for wiggly babies (my first was a cuddler, my second & third wanted their own space, 4th was a cuddler).

If you already have a Pack-n-Play with a bassinet insert you might try setting it up in your room next to your bed to put your baby in after you settle him for his first night waking. Then you may be able to settle him for wakings after that just by reaching over and patting him. Alternately, one of my cousins put the full sized crib in her bedroom--she just took the drop down side off of it and pulled it right next to her bed.

My two daughters tend to sleep together in the same bed, and ditto with my two sons, even though each child does have their own bed. It is just more comforting for them to have a buddy--though my oldest, who is 9, is starting to talk about wanting to sleep alone--her 7 year old sister isn't so convinced though--LOL!

I also would encourage you to try and help your son to adopt a favorite stuffed animal for bedtime--he's old enough now that it shouldn't be a problem. You might try sleeping with it yourself for a few nights so that it gets your scent on it. That may help him get the "cuddles" he needs.

Good luck!

Okay, well, you gotta be strong & give up a couple of nights sleep. Put him down in his crib and leave him there. If he cries just go in and pat him on the back. Don't pick him up and do not speak to him...he needs to learn how to sooth himself and go back to sleep on his own. It is one of the greatest things that you can teach him now. It won't be easy for the first couple of nights, but it will be worth it in the long run. Get a firm bedtime routine going and stick to it. Be calm and quiet and make sure your not giving him anything with sugar in it right before bed (like cookies or juice). You'll be fine by Christmas if you hang tough. Good luck and happy holidays!

He should only sleep about an hour for his nap during the day. If he sleeps any longer than that during the day he will naturally stay up at night. Yes, if he gets his way, he will also keep doing it. Try to distinguish between his real cries and his fake ones, there is a distinct difference. If he has a fake cry, let him cry himself to sleep, after a while he won't fuss so much. He expects you to come to give him attention now. If he is in any pain, you should be able to tell the difference, if he is, he will need attention. You will have to try to rest around him if that's the case. If your husband refuses to help you with the baby, then you will have to put other things off, to attend to the baby. You can't push yourself too hard. You need to be there for the baby #1.

Hi there,

I know exactly how you feel. My son started sleeping through the night at 3-4 weeks of age (8 PM - 4 AM) and at 4 months he stopped - exactly 2 days after I went back to work. I think he missed nursing and started doing all of his nursing during the middle of the night. We too choose to co-sleep because of sheer exhaustion. The only thing I can say is that it does get better. When our son was 11-12 months old he started sleeping in his own bed again, but it was a long process to get him there. I don't think crying it out really works until a child is old enough to understand the difference between needing and wanting - and that is when they are much old (.12 months). It also teaches abandonment - so if you are going to use CIO techniques, make sure you go in to sooth your child every 10-15 minutes so they don't feel abandoned. Anyway - I wanted you to know that it will get better. And I know it seems really hard right now, but stick with it and your son will start sleeping again. Another thing that happens at the 4 month mark is that babies become much more aware of their surroundings and they "realize" they are alone when they wake up. When they are younger, they also wake during the night - but just go back to sleep so you never hear them - but at around 4 months - they realize they are alone and they start crying out - even when they previously slept well.

Have you tried one of the co-sleepers? It attaches directly to your bed so you can still comfort your son without having to get up - but it will give you some more room so that his squirminess isn't waking you up all night.

Good luck!

J.
A Mother's Boutique
www.mothersboutique.com

First of all, is he on any meds for the reflux? My son is on Zantac and Previcid. It makes a big difference for him and making him feel better. Also, in his crib, prop up on end of the crib so it is at a slight angle. Having his head up higher will help keep the reflux from working its way back up. Also, you may want to try sleeping him on his tummy (Crib still propped up). My doc recommended all of these for my son. I understand the frustration, it's awful because you know they want to sleep but are too uncomfortable. And sleep deprivation is torture! My son is two months old and we have been dealing with the reflux for about a month and a half. It has been getting better though, and he will outgrow it!

i have co-slept with my kids for years; they sleep and i sleep.

My son just turned 8 months. We have been blessed that he has slept through the night since about 3 months but he does wake up in the middle of the night now and then. He isn't crying, he is talking or babbling (or dreaming). So far I've just ignored him and he has gone back to sleep on his own. He does the same thing during the day during his naps and I know he hasn't slept long enough. If I don't go running to him, he falls back asleep. Once or twice we have given him his paci which he loves and it always does the trick. I would try letting him in his bed and ignoring him. If he starts crying I would maybe go over and comfort him or pat his back, rub his head, assure him everything is ok but try not to pick him up (especially since you are only comforting him, not feeding, etc.)

I do think that these little fellows are capable of working the system already, at their young age. I also believe that our big fellows try to work the system as well. Just because we work from home doesn't mean the child is our sole responsibility and we can be up all night! Have a loving, serious conversation with your hubby and tell him that for your sanity, and your health, you need some sleep and he needs to take turns with you every other night or something. Maybe on weekends you can go sleep somewhere quiet where you won't hear the baby and your husband can help. I had a hard time with my husband for a while at first but he has stepped up more. My big fear was that I would be the only one able to calm and comfort our son and that only gets worse the older the baby gets. We can end up being prisoners in our own homes when our hubbies play their selfish games.

I wish you lots of luck and sleep!

When I couldn't handle the squirming anymore, we put a twin mattress on the floor in our room so that he was close by and if he woke up at night, I could lie on his mattress with him until he fell back asleep and then move into my bed. Evan was 1 when we did that so he could crawl into our bed in the morning and know we were there, but I think it may be worth a try for you too. Just put a buffer at the edge of the bed because at first, they will toss and turn and end up on the floor, but now, he just stays in his bed! It is a great transition into a big boy bed and we all get much more sleep now.

Is it possible that he is teething? Are you sure he isn't hungry? Is he warm enough? Have you tried any of those sound machines? That's all I've got.
B. C

Hello!

I am so sorry to hear that you are fighting a lack of sleep over the last couple of months. We all know how hard it is trying to manage our new lives when our little ones arrives - add the lack of sleep while running the household and working leads us to often grumpy times. BUT - there is a great motto to live by. When our DS was due, we were sure that we could go the traditional route - have son sleep in separate room but as soon as he arrived, my life took on another direction. The amount of time that our DS would co-sleep with us in so tiny compared to the lifetime we will have with him. 1 - 2 years of sharing a family bed is worth the dedication. A child’s need to be closer to his parents during the infant/toddler years is very important and they are in no-way "working" you. The attachment that you give to your child during these years gives way to a stronger, more independent, self-respecting, loving and compassionate individuals. Children are not born with the instinct to manipulate. That comes after years of learned behavior.

I commend you for your co-sleeping the last 1.5ms especially if he is suffering from acid reflux. You did not mention if you are bf or not? bf helps acid re-flux. There could also be several other reasons why he is getting up more at night. Our ds would have several nights of little sleep because either something developmentally was going to change (talking more, walking, running, eating solids) or his gums were bothering him. Take these other options into account. There is probably something that is bothering him that he needs his mom for comfort. Remember - you are the world to him. You are his love, his comfort, his nourishment and his friend. Why would he not look to you to help him during this difficult time?

Women are the strength of the household! Always remember that. It is amazing once you have a child - you really do it all!
Check out these websites:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html

They have great information on co-sleeping.

Take the time to enjoy the closeness with your little one. They really do grow up quick.

Much Love
J. and Hunter 14ms

Sounds like your little guy knows how to work the system and is enjoying some extra time with mom and dad. My 2 year started this (no reflux though, just lonely I guess at night). He would sleep through the night great until about 6-7 months when he got sick. We brought him to bed with us to help comfort him and then opened a can of worms. He wanted to come to bed with us every night. My friend suggested letting him cry it out. I felt that was too mean, he was my baby. So I tried to stay with him until he fell asleep, rocking him back to sleep, laying with him in our bed and then moving him to the crib after he had fallen asleep. They worked but he caught on again that he got some extra loving when he woke up so he was waking up every 1 hour it felt like to get me. So I took my friend's advice and after 2 nights of listening to him cry for about an hour, he started sleeping through the night again. Now, he would get sick and we would start this whole process over again but at least we had found a way that worked. I know it sounds mean. They are smart little things that learn fast. We never let him cry it out though if he was sick or if he hadn't seen Daddy that day. So always check on him first and then if all is okay, close the door, and go back to bed. It is aggonizing listening to them cry but it should work its way out. good luck

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Dear AG I feel like I wrote this question. Our story could not be any more similar xcept I have a girl and she still takes the pacifier. I hope that there will be an answer to this dilemma. just wanted you to know you are not suffering this alone.

Hear was my lifesaver for my baby with reflux...the "Amby" bed. Google it to get the website. They have a version for toddlers, too. Pricey, but worth it!! :)