Please Help Moms, Im Putting My Two and Four Year Old in Daycare for First Time

Updated on February 23, 2010
C.J. asks from Houston, TX
28 answers

Hello mamas, Please help me. I cannot stop crying, I am putting my two year and four year old daughters in daycare for the first time. My family desperately needs the income but I feel so gulity for being away from them. I feel like maybe they are going to resent me or I might miss out on all their important events. Also, I am afraid they will be sick all the time, then what will I do? Someone, Anyone, please give me some advice.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Every mom has felt the same way. My kids have been in daycare since they were 6wks. My son was with my Mom for a year, and then private daycare. My daughter with the neighborhood in-home daycare.

I looked at leaving them there 3 ways.
1. I need to work.
2. They will eventually need to be independent enough to get on the school bus. I was just starting a bit early.
3. I saw it as their time to socailize and make friends, without my having to arrange playdates.

Will there be days that they don't want to go? Yes.
Will they sometimes cry when you go to leave? Yes.

The trick to leaving a happy kid is distraction. With my son, I would drop him off 20m before I absolutely had to leave. We would sit down and have morning snack together. He would warm up to the other kids. We'd watch the clock. I'd tell him that I had to leave when the big hand was on 10. So it became a game. As the big hand got near 10, I'd move to the door, and he and his friends would sit there... on your mark, get set, Love you GO!

With my daughter, she LOVES being at the sitters house, so most days its just a hug and a bye. A few rare days we have to find a distraction, but offering breakfast is usually all it takes.

As for your kids getting sick, yes, they will get sick. More than staying home with you? Hard to say, it depends on how socail you are.

Good luck. Hugs.
M.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

HI C.~
As a Mom of two who had her kids in daycare and now a children provider myself, I understand both sides of how you're feeling!! The best advice I have for you is to be 100% comfortable that your girls are in a loving and stimulation environment. There are great daycare and no so great daycares and I have experience with both.

Be sure that your provider is keeping the kids busy with outdoor play, large and small motor skill activities, creative play, various age appropriate art activities, opportunities for growth with social skills, reading, music, dancing and physical movement and that they are in a safe and clean environment.

As far as illness... you can expect them to be sick often if this is their first time in care This is their first dip int he germ pool and it's actually good for them to build their immunity this way and now. Otherwise you will deal with them being sick just as often when they enter preschool or kindergarten. Just be sure that you are practicing good hygiene and that your provider is too. They should have a schedule of how often they clean toys and surfaces and a policy around hand washing. For example, kids wash hands before eating and after playing outside. They wash hands with assistance and for a duration of singing the abc's. They use paper towels and not all of the kids use the same hand towel.

How fortunate for you and your kids that you were able to be home with them during those first critical years!! And as amazing of a Mom you are, as creative and energetic and wonderful, you are just one person!! Your kids can thrive in an environment where they can work on social and preschool readiness skill with their same aged peers or even kids older and younger. It's a wonderful opportunity for them to learn flexibility and diversity in a small environment,and to learn trust and direction from other adults. Daycare can be a great stepping stone to preschool and then preschool to kindergarten.

As hard as it is to leave them with someone else, they are at great ages to to this. Try to look at it as a building block for their independence and security that will help them later. Just make sure that you have them in the right place... you can get a lot of information from your kids by talking to them and really listening to them as they talk to you about their day.

Expect there to be days when they cry on the drop off, and know that as soon as they adjust, (which should be a relatively short amount of time) they will be off and playing and no longer crying as soon as you leave. Then when you come to pick them up they will cry because they don't want to come home. That's a really good sign that they are happy where they are and no reflection that they love you any less.

Best of luck~ it is so very hard. You're kids will be ok and so will you! Pleas message me if I can be any help to you!
Take care!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from New York on

As an owner of a childcare center I can understand your apprehension. If there is one bit of advice I can give you is please do not let your children see you upset it will only make their adjustment to daycare more difficult. Please do not feel guilty, you have given them plenty of quality mommy time, try to look at this as a different chapter of their life. I can almost guarantee you they will love the interaction with the other children and will probably wake each day and want to go to school. I actually have children cry that they do not want to leave. You are doing what you need to do to help your family there is nothing wrong with that or to feel guilty about. As far as them getting sick I can assure you it will probably happen until they built up their immunity. However, on the flip side spring is almost here so risk of illness will be less verses starting during the winter months. I understand how hard this is for you I have consoled so many mom's like you. Good luck to you and I am sure they will be fine.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

C.,
Keep in mind that being at home and using child care both have their positives and negatives. I was lucky that I worked PT and had a mom who watched my son 2 days per week while I worked. BUT, I think if he had been in daycare, he may now be more assertive, independent and outgoing. ALL moms have guilt no matter what--it's just installed on the delivery table!
Hang in there and don't let them see that you are upset about this. Remain upbeat and positive so they will be too.
Financially, please look into Dave Ramsay's books (Financial Peace or Total Money Makeover) so you have a CHOICE in your working or non-working future. There are up sides and downsides of working/staying home, but no O. needs to feel like they have no choice...it will really help you to see/use money more clearly so that you control It, and IT doesn't control you. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.T.

answers from San Antonio on

My heart goes out to you. They will be fine and will learn to play with other children however I always question why people say we need the extra income. I don't know what you make but I do know how expensive it is for daycare and by the time you get paid, pay the taxes out of it, pay daycare, ask yourself what is really left that is going to totally change your lifestyle. If it isn't that much then you would do your children justice by being a stay at home mother but if it gives you enough to pay those extra bills and then some then I can understand it. Sometimes I think we don't think it through and we end up still not having enough to change things. You also have to consider you will now be buying clothes you didn't before, lunch, more on gasoline and take out for those days you are to tired to cook or you have to work late and many other things. Sometimes it doesn't pay to go back to work other than to give you some independence if you didn't have it while staying at home. Good Luck to you

1 mom found this helpful

K.C.

answers from Orlando on

Having a child in daycare sucks! There are no two ways about it, my daughter has been in daycare since 6 months. Like you said, our family just needs the extra income. It's been almost 6 months since we started and I still hate every second of it.

On a positive note, she loves it! She claps her hands on the way in the door, she goes to her teacher without and problems, and she is socially and developmentally advanced. She is almost one so they have started moving her into the toddler room for half of the day, the director told me on Thursday that my daughter is having the smoothest transition they have seen.

It's hard but you just have to remember you are doing what is best for your family. I'm sure you have found the best place for your family, you wouldn't leave them with someone you didn't trust. And your girls will be together.

If they haven't been around other kids before they do have a high chance of getting sick, my daughter has had quite a few colds and was recently diagnosed with asthma and reflux, but think about it this way...would you rather them be sick now or in kindergarten?

Socially, academically, and finantially this is a good move for your girls! Good luck Momma I know how you feel!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.L.

answers from Houston on

C.-- I understand your feelings, but if it helps, my four-year-old
son LOVES going to school!! Some days when I come to pick him up, he bursts into tears and tells me he didn't want me to come get him yet! :) It's normal for a two-year-old to cry at first when separated from Mommy, but take heart: it doesn't last long. Kids adjust remarkably quickly. I was dreading starting my two-year-old son at his school for autism, but he shocked me: he only cried at drop-off for a week! And this is a kid with autism-- one of the hallmarks being that these children generally do not tolerate strangers! Now he smiles at drop-off. I think he associates school with cool toys he doesn't have at home and fun snacks. If you can, I would tour the school with your girls and point out all the cool things about it and all the wonderful, fun things they'll do there, like crafts and games and playground time. I think kids really love time with their peers. Try not to worry-- even your baby will soon be having a lot of fun at school! Make weekends your special time with the girls, and when you're missing them, think ahead to the weekend and the time you'll have with them then. Plan fun things to do and look forward to. They can be cheap or free-- the park, feeding the ducks, riding bikes/trikes, a nature walk, dollar movies or DVDs, getting ice cream, baking cookies. If the girls are not wanting to go to school, remind them of the fun weekend ahead and name some specific things you're going to do. Show your four-year-old on the calendar how many days till Saturday. I hope this helps! Try not to be sad-- hopefully you and your girls will appreciate each other even more because of the time spent apart, and evenings and weekends will be more special for you!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.H.

answers from Detroit on

I was very nervous about putting my son in daycare but we had no choice. My MIL was coming to our house and she became sick so we had to resort to daycare. It's a fact of life that we have just become accustomed too. My son is now in kindergarten and my 3 year old is in daycare and will be entering pre-school next month. So we are just about out of the daycare phase. I believe that it had it's good and bad points.
My husband and I have had many arguments about this issue over the years. When my first son was born he did not want me to be a SAHM because he said we needed the two incomes. I guess we probably did but at the same time we were spending about $10,000 per year in daycare costs (including latch key for my 5 year old) So, it's like most of that "extra" income is gone anyway. Sometimes I just felt the whole thing was pointless.
Anyway I'm sure sure your girls will be fine in a quality day care. I think that we as parents are the ones feeling bad. My oldest was out of school on spring break this week and my 3 year old was crying because he had to go to daycare( in daycare you pay the same amount if your child is there for the day or not) . So, on Wednesday I let him stay home with his brother. By Thursday he was ready to go back.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.J.

answers from Austin on

My mom put me in daycare when I turned two to go to work in the family business. I grew up thinking of her as a smart, independent, wonderfully loving role model.

Someone at a conference just this weekend pointed out that research says you should never apologize for working. It stresses children out and encourages them to view your contribution to their well being as unimportant.

Also, think of all the amazing things they'll learn, the friends they'll make, and the experiences they'll have.

That being said, if you end up being less than impressed with the environment at the daycare, you may want to choose an in-home daycare. That's what suited my daughters best.

Chin up!

J.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from El Paso on

My heart goes out to you! I know exactly what you are going through.... I think you have some options. Home day cares are tend to have less children so there is more one on one attention. I have a friend who is working at the preschool so she can be with the kids, that's another option. There are jobs out there that you can work at home from. I have a 6 year old and 3 year old and a single mom. I was adamant about not putting them in daycare and what I've done is gone back to school. I am doing an online program and it is buying me about 2 years. It has been a hard adjustment because I was a full time mom but God has been so faithful to provide and we are close knit. Family and friends have helped out a ton. Hang in there! God bless!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.H.

answers from Austin on

Here's an article that may be helpful. Both our children are in Goddard School in the Austin area and really have enjoyed their experience.
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2009/08/06/...

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would feel the same way as you! I think the reason is that all good mommies have guilt. We always want to do what's best for our children and sometimes it seems like no matter what option we choose we feel guilty about it. I think you a making a good decision, though. Daycare or no food on the table? I think if you have spent time really researching day cares and have found one that both you and your children love then you will feel better. My daughter is 3.5 and she goes to preschool 3 times a week. I felt so guilty for sending her especially because she didn't have to be there. The first time I dropped her off I came home and thought "what kind of mom am I to be sending her off for 3 hours?" She cried the first couple of weeks and I was secretly hoping she would keep crying...then I could pull her out :-)
The third week she ran right in and didn't even look back. Then, this semester she was sick once and I told her she couldn't go to school. "Are all my friends going?" she asked. Yes. "Then I want to go too! I can't miss school!"

One other thing I want to point out is you have been fortunate enough to be with them as babies. Lots of kids start preschool at 4 and even 2 years of age. You'll be amazed at all the things they will come home and show you. It will be great....although I won't lie...it will probably take you and the kids a few weeks to get adjusted. That just show that you did a good job raising them:-) Hang in there!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.P.

answers from Provo on

I have had my son in preschool/daycare since he was about 6 months old. I wish I could have been home for at lease the first couple of years. I had to work. He is very well adjusted. When he started kindergarten this year, he loved it. He had a few days when he started that he had struggles when I left him but I reassure him every day that I will pick him up after work and he is fine with it. Sometimes as parents we forget that our children need independence most. It is great for their self-esteem. I can guarantee you that it will be harder on you than it is on them. As for being sick all the time, I really don't notice that being a problem. I give him vitamins and probiotics to help with his immunity. Last year we had problems with pink eye but that is pretty easy to deal with. I just teach him to keep his hands washed and cover his mouth in his jacket or elbow. You will be surprised how easily it will become.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

yes they will get, yes they will learn things from other kids that you may not want them to learn, and yes they will learn to be with other children and play. yes they will miss you at first and all of a sudden they will not even notice that you are gone. and yes you will have some tears at first. arrange for a standby sitter for they days that they can't go to day care, fever's etc. label all they things that you are sending, clothes, toys, food, etc. you can do this there are other women who have done this and you can also. you go girl......

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.T.

answers from Houston on

Please do not worry.

My daughter has been in daycare since she was 3 months. My mother never had to work so I felt the same way you do.

The first time I dropped her off I cried for days.

My daughter is now 2 years old and she has learned so much from her little school. Where she goes is not a typical daycare, it is a little school. I am amazed at everything she has learned. She knows her ABC's, can count to 15, has been drinking out of a big girl cup since she was 16 months, has been cleaning up her toys since she was 16 months, etc.

I am so blessed that I found a wonderful place. If I had the opportunity to stay home with the second, I would definitely send her to this little school instead of keeping her with me. Her teachers are wonderful. Since she has been there, I have noticed there is barely any turnover in staff.

1 mom found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

I went back to work when my oldest was 6 weeks old. We had a nanny who was excellent, and even so I was sad to leave my baby every day. With my younger daughter, I went back to work when she was 3 months old. I had to put her in daycare. It sucked.

So here's the thing. Would I rather stay home with them? HECK YEAH! Who wouldn't? But it's not financially possible. So if my choice is to miss the school play because I have to be at work, or my whole family living in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere... well, I'll miss the school play. There's no use in feeling guilty when you just don't have a choice.

I will say that neither of my girls resented day care or preschool at all. They absolutely loved it! They both have totally different personalities - one is outgoing, the other is shy - but being around other kids and other adults helped both of them in different ways.

Realize that although you may not be happy to put your kids in day care, you are stepping into a new role in their eyes. You'll be surprised at how interested they'll be in your new job. I'm a construction manager, and my girls think that is the coolest thing ever! They want to look at blueprints with me, and both of them understand the difference between a chop saw and a circular saw - no joke! Now, would they know these things if I'd stayed home with them? Probably not. Would they think that construction management is a man's job if their mom weren't out there getting it done? Probably. So - think about how your job may actually be a great opportunity to be a role model for your kids in a whole new way than you've been in the past!

It's not all bad, mama. Hang in there, things will get better.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from College Station on

Hello C.
Have you thought about working from home so you don't have to put your daughters in daycare?
My name is C. I am a WAHM my son is in Preschool now and my daughter is 10 months old and she has never step foot in a daycare.
I work along side a wonderful company called Work At Home United! If you are at any intrest please don't hesitate to contact me! My email is ____@____.com my website is www.workathomeunited.com/mami4vida?gmi?

But if working at home is not an option for you and your family, than puting your daughters in daycare is not a bad thing and your not a bad person to do so!! They will not resent you at all, once you and your daughters get use to going to daycare then you will see a big differents in your girls from learning to making new friends ect.. My son was in daycare and this was when I was not a WAHM, I must say it was the best thing for him he made new friends, teachers he and I both could trust even the director, his imagination expanded wildly (good thing to happen) and he even learned spanish in his daycare! Daycare will also help them get ahead and to help them jump into preschool and grade school with no problem. Try not to worry your self sick thats not good for you at all. How do your girls feel about the daycare? Did you get to tour the daycare with your daughters and seen how they reacted with the staff/director and the classrooms?
Well I have a feeling your girls will do great in daycare the first week or two is rocky ,after that the days will fly by so fast. I wish you and your family the best please contact me if you have any questions or concerns!!

C.
Bryan,Tx

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.G.

answers from Austin on

I can understand your pain. It must be difficult to be in a place where finances force you to do what you know is not the best for your kids. For the cost of daycare, it seems even harder to see the benefit. I would see if you could work at night somewhere so you can still be home with your kids and your husband will be home while they sleep. Since you wouldn't have to pay child care, you could just work nights part-time and be home at night the rest of the week. My sister-in-law does that (at Toys 'R Us). It is not ideal, but they did not want to give all of her paycheck to daycare providers who couldn't give them as much individual care.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Houston on

Putting my son in day care (at 7 weeks) was the hardest thing I think I have ever done. But, there was no way I could stay home, we couldn't afford it. However, he loved going to day care. He is a very social person, so seeing his friends everyday was a joy to him. He would look around for them on the weekends. Feeling guilty is only natural. But look at the positive aspects your children will receive, such as socialization and all the fun things they will learn as they grow.

Yes, you may miss out on some of the important events. Our day care did not say, oh he did this for the first time today, they would let him do it for us himself. Just think the 4 year old will probably get to go on field trips. I always try to take the day off and go with my son, who is a 2nd grader now. Think of all the new experiences they will have, parties for the various holidays, birthday celebrations of classmates. I was lucky that my son's day care was a block from my work. During their holiday parties, I would run over there for a bit, take pictures, etc. I even sent a disposable camera a couple of times and had them take pictures at different events. The day care was also really good about taking pictures during special events. They would then give them to us.

As for sickness, yes, they may go through that at first. If they don't already, start them on a daily vitamin. Look at it this way, they would go through this when they start kindergarten anyway. Day care, pre-school, regular school, it doesn't matter, they are suddenly around a lot of other kids and their germs. New teacher and nurses go through it to. They will survive it.

Yes, it is tough, but you and they will survive it. Focus on the positives of what they will learn and the friends they will make.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Austin on

First of all, let me just say... been there done that. I was a stay at home mom with my son for two years and I cried and cried! Let me tell you, it will be harder for you that for them. For them, they finally get to have play friends all the time and can have different experiences. For my son, he would finally eat veggies because everyone ate them at day care. They get regular naps and constant care. He got to play outside everyday and they even had a sprinkler section in the back for summer "water park fun". The hard part is finding a daycare that works for you! Certifications are nice, but some are around "child led learning" while good and all, to me is kind of like letting the kids do whatever they want all day long. They also had "teacher led" learning, which is where the teacher makes daily activities and structures the day for them with some light-moderate curriculum (like coloring pages, ABC pages, learning activities). I know of centers that start on ABC's at age two and others that it is just babysitting till age five and there is no "learning" involved.
For me, I needed the income, but I couldn't find a job to work around my daycare schedule; I looked for 2 months while he was in daycare. I was a newly single mom and the only one I could count on. So I applied for a job at the daycare center! Most daycare centers offer discounts to employees, sometimes as much as 50%. The only draw back is that they often don't pay a whole lot. If you have college they do tend to pay more.
As for daycare centers. Look around. Can you visit when you want to periodically check in? If they are adamant about it and say "no", keep looking. (Now, here's the thing, you don't want to keep "popping in" on your kids because if they see you.... it's over, but you don't want restrictions either.) We had a mom at our care center that was always worried. We would sneak her around like a ninja! We would let her into other rooms to look through windows or doorways or welcome her at nap time, but she had to see her child.
Also, does the care center provide meals? Are they healthy? Can you substitute foods? Are the meals included with the tuition or is it extra? What are their hours? If the center is only open from 7a-5p, then it limits your choices of jobs if you are the only one picking up and dropping off.
And, yes. your children are going to get sick. Fact of life. Face it, they get sick from kids at church, school, daycare, from you (getting around someone sick at work), it's going to happen. Even if you keep them home, unless you home school 100% and never let them leave the house, they are going to get sick and there are no guarantees. Make sure the care center you choose is big on hand washing (not just staff, but the children too). At the center I worked at, we were required and monitored to wash every child's hands for 20 seconds after every diaper change, before meals, after outside play time, before nap. And yes, they still got sick.
Oh, and just remember, when they cry at drop off time, it is usually only for about 30 seconds and it is mostly just for effect! They want you to know they are going to miss you. As soon at you are out of site, they get to playing!
Good luck

1 mom found this helpful

I.S.

answers from Houston on

C.,

Placing your child in daycare does not make you a bad person! Your daughters may superise you. Once your little ones get the hang of it, you will find, they will enjoy the inter actions with the other children. You’re not the only mom out there that works. I hope that the cost of daycare and the additional monies you are making are worth it.

I lost my job last April and I tell you, now that I don’t work, my husband and I have more money!! There is a book by Dave Ramsey that helps you figure out if there should be two incomes vs. one. If you have time, take a look at it.

If you accept a job making let say $15.00 @ 40hrs a wk. $600.00. Minus tax & health ins. You’re down to $492.00 your 2yr old will need to be in daycare full time (average cost $150.00 a week) 6yr old part time ($65.00 a week) now your down to $275.00 a week. Now you have to consider, the wear and tear of the car, gas, insurance, your meals while at work; another $100.00. Your total income (a whopping $700.00 a month). Asks yourself; can you budget around that? Could you reduce your expense some where? Maybe offer to car pool some of your neighbors’ kids and take care of them?

Either way you go, take a moment and look at the situation. I hope this helps shed some light!! Good luck and I hope you make an educated decision.

Linda,
Spring, TX

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.A.

answers from San Antonio on

I think the key is finding a place you are comfortable leaving them at. I had the same problems when I went back to work. I found a great christian daycare i liked but then they closed and it took me a long time to find another i trusted. I ended up resigning,, then going working part time after another 6 mos. St George on Babcock is great, but only 9-2, Kids r Kids on Bandera I liked, but wasn't completely comfy with. Mine is now at Apple Tree on Bandera, and I feel fine leaving him there when 3-4 times a week. It also helps to be able to monitor them by computer whenevr you want/can. They have fun, learn and get to socialize ; which they really need at this age. Good Luck!

Updated

I think the key is finding a place you are comfortable leaving them at. I had the same problems when I went back to work. I found a great christian daycare i liked but then they closed and it took me a long time to find another i trusted. I ended up resigning,, then going working part time after another 6 mos. St George on Babcock is great, but only 9-2, Kids r Kids on Bandera I liked, but wasn't completely comfy with. Mine is now at Apple Tree on Bandera, and I feel fine leaving him there when 3-4 times a week. It also helps to be able to monitor them by computer whenevr you want/can. They have fun, learn and get to socialize ; which they really need at this age. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Victoria on

Both my kids have been in daycare, full time, part time, and at home with me full time. So I can give you advise from any aspect. Daycare brings germs. plain & simple you get that many snotty noses together playing with the same toys & sickness happens, but if not at daycare, then in kinder. Once they get through the gauntlet of sicknesses, immunity kicks in & then your gold. So do prepare to have a plan for those times. Daycare does teach your children that they can survive without you & that is a good thing. They learn so much in such a short time! My kids had a hard time with full days at either home or daycare. The best for our family was daycare in mornings & home in the afternoons. I own my own business, so I have been lucky enough to adjust to my & their needs. They will not be traumatized. I mean you can be homeless & hungry but together...that is a choice, but will they be happier? tips for daycare though....make unplanned visits when you can. Asks lots of questions at drop off & pick up. get to know the day care workers.....chit chat ....then let them know what you expect from them....The only horror story I have is picking my son up & him telling me he pooped in his pull up. I took him to the bathroom only to find he had pooped about 2 hours prior. It was so hard & dried that I couldn't get it off with wipes. I had to gets a soaking wett paper towel! Then he had been outside playing & it was rubbed in the skin & had him raw & chafed. So as I clean him he was crying. I was livid. I looked teacher in the face and told her that was completely unacceptable. I made her stand there & watch his pain & I made her apologize to my son for not taking good care of him. I made her promise him that she would not break his trust again. We never had another problem. She was young & not very experienced. After that, I learned to make spot visits when I could & i never had another situation. My children are very social and we just celebrated my daughter's 5th birthday today. We had about 20 kids here today and my daughter was a wonderful host. Just be there for them & listen to them when you are with them.....best of luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.G.

answers from Houston on

I like a response you received from another C. about buying a book by author Ramsey regarding finances. Ditto that advice.

School is a blast for kids. They will do far more activities, songs, art and then have the benefits of having children their own age to play with all day.
A good day care will have a full schedule for your children.

I used to get mad at my husband if he didn't rush to pick up our daughter the minute he returned from work (we got home early--3-4PM). He made a good point, when we brought her home....we cooked dinner, went through the mail, put our work away and she sat around for an hour doing nothing. If she were at school, she would have been having fun.

The beginning will be tough for you, it will pass. You don't sound like you have an option. They may get sick more often in the beginning AND SO WILL YOU :( They will bring home bugs you haven't been exposed to . I had a cold for months when we started day care. It will pass as all of your immmunities build up. Neither of my kids rarely had ear infections.

BIGGEST TIP: Try to get a day care close to YOUR work versus close to YOUR home. That way you can be there in minutes and may be able to have lunch with them or visit for special events.

If you absolutely have to do it for the money, than so be it.
If you can downsize your home or cut back on unnecessary expenses, than look down that avenue. My home now is 15 years older and 1500 sq. feet smaller b/c I left my job to stay at home BUT that was an option for me. Maybe not for you.

Lose the guilt, God, a mother's guilt can be consuming. Not worth it, you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. And again, school can be a great experience. My kids LOOOOOVE preschool.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.N.

answers from Houston on

Dear C.,

You may be surpised how much your kids will love it once they get into the program only after a few days. Don't be so hard on yourself.

And remember, if it's ok with you and your are excitied about it your children will be too. If they see you upset, then they will worry and be upset also.

I tell my son that he will have a great day at school and I am going to have lots of fun to at work. It works!!

And kids will get sick anyway, remeber one day at a time, that's all we have anyway.

:)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.T.

answers from College Station on

Deep breath and relax!!!

Your 4yo will only benefit from the program. She needs the social interaction before she gets into kindergarten since most kids these days do to some type of daycare (MDO and Pre-K count) before they hit kinder. They will be far above your daughter. She will actually be behind if she goes into kinder without it.

Your 2yo will benefit as well. For the same reasons. She will learn so much!

As for being sick, that is going to happen. They will be exposed to bugs their little systems have not seen before. Just make sure they are getting enough rest and eating well.

Good Luck! This is a good thing!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.G.

answers from Corpus Christi on

For what it is worth, you are feeling what every mother has felt when we have to take that first step. I can tell you the, when I put my son in for the first time and he was only 11 months old. I thought for sure all the things you are thinking right now. So, that day, I was prepared and knew what to do. It did not gp the way I thought. He was super happy to be around other kids and it was amazing. He was craving other people and other children...it is human nature. I was the one in the middle of the floor happy to see him interacting but upset that he was not more upset about me leaving. As I walked out, I realized through more crying eyes that it was me that was afraid and not him. You will see your children everyday and it also gives you something to talk about and they learn so much! Yes, they will get sick, but better now, than when they are in school and need to be there to keep up with the lesson plan. We all must venture out into the world...relax, they will be just fine and so will you...Good luck

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Houston on

It will be hard, but what is the alternative? If your family truly needs the income (I was a single parent!), then this is what needs to happen. BUT your attitude makes all the difference. If your kids see you crying, they will cling to you, making you cry more, etc. Please confine your crying to when they are asleep. But once you have made the decision that, even though you wish you did not have to do this, this is the best thing to do, you can stop crying and start getting the girls ready for their fun new adventure! They will make new friends and have new toys to play with. (They may get sick at first, so you need a plan for when that happens.) Planning and being practical will see you through. Praying is something that helped me, too.

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions