POO POO PURGATORY! My 3 1/2 Year Old Refuses to "Poo Poo" in the Potty!

I know exactly what you are going through. My 3 1/2 yr. old daughter went through that as well. She was pee-pee trained completely almost a year ago. But, the poo-poo in the potty we finally completed about 1 1/2 mths. ago. My daughter just would not do it. She made her self so constipated it worried me so much. I was told to give her mineral oil in either her drink or mix it with a soft food. This did help so it went more easily. But, she was afraid of the potty when it came to poo-poo. I actually would have to hug her while she did it. And now she's much better and will tell me she needs to potty. I also started giving her a treat everytime she did go. I went to the dollar store and bought some stickers, little books, and other small toys. That also gave her a good incentive. Good luck!!!!!

As far as his comment about being afraid to fall through, have you gotten a potty insert for your adult potty? My daughter never went on the training potty, so we just moved her straight to the adult potty. But we bought the seat inserts that rest on the potty and they come with various characters on them like Elmo or Dora. You have to think that it gives them a bit more sense of security and is cushiony. It's often common for little boys to struggle with the poo-poo part of potty training. So I would be firm with whatever decisions you make, but you need to be very aware of their bowel movements. Personally, I wouldn't suggest going back to pull ups to allow him to poop because I think that gives mixed messages. The thing I recommend most is being patient. Each child is different, and you never know what is going to make them take that final step. I had a new born and my daughter decided to be completely potty trained on a family vacation. So you never know. Hang in there.

I had the same problem with my 3 1/2 year old daughter. Grandparents informed me that it would takes time with some little ones , and it did!! My daughter will be four in Nov. but she has finally mastered pooping in the potty!!! Just be patient and remind him (when he goes in his big boy undies) that he is suppose to go in the potty. Try not to scold him (as I know cleaning the mess is no fun) and let him know it is okay to poop but he's becoming a really big boy if he goes in the potty. If he asks for a pull up to poop in give it to him, my doctor says constipation is much worse.

These are all things I had to do with my daughter and it took a few months but it works. He'll come around with a little encouragement and patience!!!

Good Luck!!!

N.,
From what I understand (am also potty training a 22 Month old boy) is that when they pee pee in the potty is it just water to them and not a big deal. When they Poop in the potty and then see it in there, it feels like they have lost a part of their body since it is a solid thing that is sitting in the potty and being flushed… this can be very scary to them. I am going through the same issue but just at school. He is fine at home since he has never pooped in the potty at home but at school, he started to go one day when they were changing his diaper and they set him on the potty to poop, he flushed it down and has not used their potty since. I know this doesn’t offer any advice, just understanding!

Good Luck!
E.

There is a book called Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi and Amanda Mayer Stinchecum. It has gotten really good reviews, check out the reviews on www.barnesandnoble.com. Apparently some kids are just afraid to poop and this book teaches them that it is normal and everyone does it. Hope this helps.

My daughter had a similar experience - well, kind of. She is 2 1/2 and had started going potty like a big girl in May. She went poo poo once or twice right after she started going potty but then would not use the potty to go poo poo. She would wait until we put a pull-up on her at night or at nap time to go poo poo. There was nothing we tried that would help her go on the big girl potty. We did not force the issue, as my husband and I agreed that she probably just needed a little bit of time before she was ready for the transition. We started to get a little worried, though because it did seem that she wanted to go poo poo standing up. I would fret and worry - is she ever going to go on the potty? We finally would encourage her to at least sit on the potty in her pull up and go. I think this helped a lot as it enabled her to be familiar with the feeling, yet feel secure in her pull-up. Finally one day she just went to the potty and went poo poo. The lady she stays with and I have a hunch that she had a bit of a stomach virus and just decided she needed to go. I would just encourage you to stay patient and give him a little time...I think he'll come around if you don't force the issue with him. Good luck!

my 2 1/2 year old son is in the EXACT same situation - or should i say that my husband and i are in poo poo purgatory as well. everything is identical: pee-pees by himself, wears underwear, but won't poop in/on the potty. even holds it in for a few days to almost a week. he moans and gorans and says his tummy hurts. we tell him to poop it out, but he just complains and says he wants a diaper, so we put one on him becuase we know it's not healthy to hold it in for so long. and even when we put a diper on him, he still doesn't poop immediately -

i would be grateful to learn of any useful info you gain from feedback.

thanks,
J.

Hi, I just want to say, that if all possible don't let him go for more than 2 days without pooping. My 10 yr old has been struggling with a condition called encopresis since he was a baby. It means with-holding your poop. As a first time mom, when he was a baby, it never occurred to me that he wouldn't go when he needed to, but when he was constipated and it hurt to go, he decided somewhere in his little mind that he just wouldn't poop anymore. We have stuggled with this for the last 9 years. He has gone to a pediatric gastroenterologist to solve the problem, taken prescription strength laxatives for years at a time, had to eat yucky fiber cookies, etc. Even now we still have relapses, and I've read that kids sometimes aren't self-aware enough to conciously control this problem until thier mid-teens. That blows my mind. Anyway, when he hasn't been pooping enough, it gets big enough to stop-up the toilet, I'm not kidding. He is also much more likely to have hemorroids when he grows up. I know this is long, but please, even if you have to give him one of those glycerin suppositories, don't let him go very long without pooping. Also, talk to your pediatrician about it, for more advice. I hope this helps you.

I would suggest to just back off for alittle while and relax about the pooing in the toilet. Even though you have a new baby on the way, it is my experience that it would only be 1 additional diaper change every day or every other day (however often your child poops). It can also take awhile for kids to master the wiping part of pooping, so you'd still be helping with that anyway. For some kids, pooping is the very last thing that happens, but it will happen. And maybe just taking the emphasis off for awhile will help. I know that someone suggested glycerin suppositories - a high fiber diet is probably better. Have you ever given a suppository? It is not fun, and even less fun as your child gets older. And strenghtens that emphasis on the whole poopign thing. I read somewhere that kids can get freaked out about seeing their own poop, so maybe that's what happened to him. Has he seen you or your husbands poop in the toilet? Just a thought!!

Hi N.-
What you are dealing with is oh so very normal!!!! The biggest problem is that none of the experst agree on how to handle it! I would call and chat with one of the nurses in your Pedi office.
Our office recommends a combo approach- 3 times a day having him sit on the toddler pot- maybe read a book, very low key- 3X a day for may 5 minutes. Also, give him a diet high in fiber- strawberries, pears, OJ, oatmeal, bran muffins- so his stools wil stay soft. Oh! And don't forget the water! Finally, when he does go poop in his pants just say "Oh no Johnnie, we go potty in the potty- and have him help with the clean up- No fussing, just matter of fact.

And here for you laugh of the day is my poop story- my 2 1/2 y/o went poop in her potty, the decorated the poop with the little mosiac tiles from her brothers game. YUCK-O!

Good luck!
D.

Hi N., my oldest did the same. He was "pee pee" potty trained at 2,5 years. And for almost a year he asked for a daiper to do de poo poo. Because I didn't want to get him constipated (because that's a real problem, like one of the other mothers told) I gave him a daiper when he asked.

We promised him stickers, sweets, and we even went with him to the store to pick out a toy he really liked. We put it on the fridge, and everytime he pointed at it "when I have poo-ed on the potty 3 times I can have it". "Yes" was my answer everytime, "come, we go to the potty and we try". But he just was sitting on the potty, and in the end I gave a diaper. "tomorrow I try again" he always told me.

He never told me he was scared or something. He was never constipated, never had pain.

One day my husband and I decided he was almost 3,5 and it had been long enough going on. So we told him "no more diapers". He hold his poo for 3 days, and we were sooooo worried. But we did not give in. On the fourth day he poo-ed on the potty and we had a little party. Ever since that day he poo's on the potty, also at friends houses, school and church.

So that's my story, totally the opposite of what the books tell you what to do. For us it worked. You know your son best. I would only try this after you have tried all the other advices.

Good luck, I.

This is to add to what another mom said about the "body part thing". I had never thought of that. But I have thought about the big "splash" it makes when it hits the water. He may think something is getting him if the water splashes up on his tushy. Im sure this is scary for the little guy.
Talk to him and ask him what scary. Kind of explain how the food goes in and out. Maybe find something like play dough that might make a splash if you dropped it in a bowl of water to show him how it splashes. Also, show him in a demo how easy it is to dump it out of the can if theres not a lot in it. But if its full or packed in its too hard to come out. Maybe this my help, maybe not. I've never pottied trained before but its just an idea. I am just starting to potty train my 2 1/2 yo. He can pee and poop on the potty when he wants to. If he thinks hes got a choice he wont go. But if I take him when theres signs (or smells) then he will go, but I have to be patient because it takes a while to work up. He always says hes done as soon as he gets on it. Anyway, I hope this helps and gives you some ideas.

Thanks,
T. Lee

My daughter was exactly 2 1/2 years old when I potty trained her. The thing that worked for us was that I just put her in clean underwear every morning and cleaned up after she had accidents.Within 2 days she was doing it on the potty because she found it to be so uncomfortable.This method required a lot of patience and work but you see results much faster.I was watching her 24/7 and as soon as she looked liked she was about to go I would take her to the potty and make her sit.She would resist at first but by the second time she was all set.Also, when I got her there [I mean the potty] I would read the same book to her over and over so over the next few days as soon as I would start reading she would make an association and go potty.The fact that he goes pee pee means that your work will be reduced in half.

Since you are due any day now I would suggest holding off the entire process till he has had time to adjust to the new baby.I potty trained my daughter exactly 2 months after my second daughter was born.In the meantime just keep reinforcing through talk and persuasion that he needs to go potty just like Mommy and Daddy do [in the bathroom,on the potty],who knows maybe it clicks one day.

Hope this helps.

N.

Hi...

my older son did the same thing. he feared pooping in the potty. he would hold it for days. my pedi finally told me to give him a little laxitive so he can't hold it it. we sat on the potty with him for about 45 min and he finally went. we praised him and he got a cookie. once he realized it doesn't hurt, it had not been a problem at all.

hope this helps.