Potty Training Advise Needed

I have a friend that had that same trouble with her 2 yr old daughter. She found thepottytrainer.com the most wonderful thing 2 days after reading her book her daughter has started pooping in the potty sucessfully for 4 days. Hope this helps. Good luck Robyn and hang in there.

Hugs,
M.

I don't know if you are already doing this, but my son got used to the idea of pooping in the toilet after I started flushing the poop from the diaper into the toilet, then I would let him actually flush it good bye and we would wave good-bye to the poop. The other think both of my kids loved was the potty dance. AFter they used the toilet I would hold them in my arms and spin around one directions singing "Potty, potty, potty" Then we would stop and spin the other way. They both loved it!

They sound like a repeat of my son. I'll tell you that for the sake of everyone's sanity, take it easy on them. Here is my story:

By my son Daniel's third birthday, we were all really ready for him to be potty trained, but he wasn't. He would neither go pee-pee nor poo-poo. NOTHING AT ALL!! I am talking about a very smart kid that knew how to count to 10 at 18 months, and could sing his ABC's by 2 1/2. So, as a parent, I expected this to be no different. WRONG!!
He became very ill after his 3rd birthday. It was three weeks of vomiting and diarreah and it ultimately put him in the hospital. Needless to say all of our potty training efforts were completely ditched during this time. The doctors said it could take a month or two before he GI system recoverd and we were told by our doctor to not try potty training for another month at least. A week after his last episold of vomiting and diarreah and NO PRESSURE FROM US, we noticed one day that his diaper was dry all day. At the time, we were worried there was something wrong, but he said, "No, I'm OK. I go in the potty now."

Moral of the story? Encourage them, but don't make a big deal of it like I did.
I think it is possible that so much pressure and expectaions are put on kids to potty train early that it could actually make them afraid to fail.
THE WHOLE GOAL IS TO MAKE IT THEIR ACCOMPLISHMENT, NOT THEIR FAILURE!!!
I hope you can ditch the diapers soon....

Liz

P.S. I couldn't help but notice that you classified this question under "discipline and behavior". Try not to think of it that way, instead, try "development". Your kids can't control how soon they go potty any more than they can control how fast they will go through puberty.

R., I feel your pain! And you have double pain! My 3 year old son is now completely potty trained, but it was a nightmare getting there - the poo-poo part. Pee-pee was easy! And why on earth underwear for toddlers isn't cheaper, I'll never know...but anyway...

My son is a very regular pooper, so I started just changing him into a pullup within about an hour of his regular "time", then as soon as he's done, back to underwear. A few accidents here and there, but for the most part, this worked fine - then eventually he was asking for the pullup (finally recognizing the poop signs himself), and then finally we moved on to the potty. Maybe your kids just don't recognize their poop signs yet. I think that was my son's problem.

So - if your twins are on a regular schedule - that might be an option to try. I do agree with Sunny, don't put them in Pullups after the fact - I don't think that's helpful and could be seen as a punishment.

Good luck and try to keep your sanity!! They will EVENTUALLY be potty trained!! I promise! :)

Hi R.,

Try focusing on them staying dry first and then deal with the pooping after they've mastered that. When I trained my daughter, it took her a month before she was staying dry all the time, and then another month after that before she would poop in the potty all the time. Once they've become confident about going pee pee all the time, they will be ready to move on.

I'm training my son now and we're just working on staying dry. It's been about 4 weeks and he's doing well. I still put him in pullups for nap and nighttime, but he's in undies the rest of the time. One thing that helps with the messes is to "double up" on the undies at first. I put the thick cotton training pants on him first and then his character undies over the top. That way, if he does pee in his undies, it doesn't go everywhere. (helps save mom's sanity a bit!!)

Good luck & have patience! It doesn't happen overnight or even in a day or two, but it will happen!!

:-) H.

It's important that you don't make them feel bad about not going in the toilet. I'm sure it's not that they're trying to defy you, but that they just have trouble getting their bowels to cooperate. They may just not be ready to poop in the toilet yet.

My daughter is 2.5, and I thought she was ready to potty train, but when we put her in big girl underwear, she kept going in them, despite being uncomfortable. She's just not quite ready to go in the toilet yet, so we're going to hold off a few weeks.

I know you're frustrated, but try to reinforce the positive, not the negative. Give them lots and lots of praise for pottying in the toilet, and give them incentives to poo there as well (candy, small toy, etc.). I remember my sister told her daughter that when she pooped in the toilet, she could go to TRU and pick a special toy. But try not to tell your kids that they're babies or punish them in any way, because I'm sure it's not a pleasant experience for them, either.

Also, many kids get constipated, especially when potty training. If your children seem to strain when going or if their poo seems hard, you may ask your pediatrician for a gentle laxative (like Miralax) to help them go. It may be hurting them to go, and the toilet is scaring them.

Wow, you have your hands full with twins and a little baby.

What I had to do with my two (non-twin) kids that are potty-trained (and one more to go) is watch them when they are about to go and catch them to place them on the potty. It took more time with my DS than my DD. If there is a time when they go then watch them at that time to catch them. I just went with the big potty and did not use any of the potty chair or toilet inserts.

I would not put them in pull ups after the fact as they have already made the mess. Keep them in big-kids underwear. I went through this with my son so it is not fun but they do get over it.

When they have an accident, say something like 'Oh no! You had an accident. Big kids go in the potty.' Say it in a firm, non-angry but not pleased voice. Then take them in the dirty underwear to the toilet, remove the underwear and dump the contents in the toilet and tell them that poo-poo goes in there. Repeat your chosen phrase three times in a calm clear voice. Repeat as needed. And make a big deal when they do it right. They will get there.

All this assumed they are not constipated or anything as that is another story. PM me if that is the case.

My daughter had this same issue, and it really was a fear thing. Some children see the poop as part of them, and it's frightening for this to leave their bodies and go down the toilet. You never know what those active imaginations have concocted! When I knew it was about time for her daily poop, I took her to the toilet, and just gave her a big hug while she pooped, speaking gently and encouraging her. Then, when she finally did it, we made a BIG deal out of it. I tell everyone to check out Dr. Phil's website. He has done episodes on this before, and he has a method that has worked wonders, and it doesn't damage the little one's fragile self-esteem. I think it's Drphil.com, then search for potty training.

R.,

I did www.easypottytraining.com and it said to throw away ALL diapers on day #1 and don't go back. I did that and did NOT use pull-ups or anything and it worked within 3 days. The key to them going poop in the potty is to NOT let them out of your sight. Most kids will go find a corner somewhere, or go hide when they have to poop. When I was training my daughter, I made her come with me to the bathroom and while she was standing there waiting for me to go, she had to poop, so I got up and traded places with her. Once she saw where the poop is supposed to go, she never had an accident in her pants again. I know it's harder with twins. I have twin girls (but they're only 6 weeks old), but I can imagine trying to potty train them.

Hang in there and best of luck!
K.

If you have a general idea of what time they make their poops, you should make them sit on the toilet and try to go. Use a reward, of course, and if they start throwing a fit and won't cooperate, take them off the toilet until they calm down(sort of a timeout), then try again in fifteen minutes or so. This worked for my boy, but it took alot of crying and tantrums. Patience and persistence is key! Good Luck!!!

A very affective method is to let them clean the mess up themselves, of course with your supervision. Sounds mean but it's not. They actually will learn to dress thenselves in the process and that's good for their self esteem. Start by putting them on a tile surface and allow them to take their own garments off. If they need to be dunked in the toilet to remove the poop allow them to do this. You basically hand them wet washcloths or wipes or whatever they need. But they do everything from undressing to redressing themselves even if they get their clothes on backwards or whatever it doesn't matter. They'll eventually get it and I promise it want take more than a matter of days to train them. I worked in a preschool and saw success on every child in our class.

We're in the midst of protty training out 21/2year old boy as well. I try to take him to the potty every hour but he mostly peepee. He sometimes even tells me that he has to go to the bathroom. Poopoo is another story. He will run and hide and most of the time I catch him just as he finishes the deed in his pull-up. I'm too chicken to go bare naked just yet. I have a 1 year old as well so the additional cleaning does not sound very appealing.

The only alternative advice I have is for the reward. Giving toys and such tend to get a bit expenssive so my reward is a sticker. I think my son is more willing to tell me he has to go to the bathroom, so he can get a "potty sticker". I let him choose which sticker he wants and do the dance and cheer as well. I'm just hoping eventually he'll do the same for #2! :-)
Good luck.

S.B.

Hi R.. I'm going through the same thing with my son. He's got the peepee down and rarely has accidents, but we've only gone "poopoo" on the potty three times so far. But, he is telling me more often when he feels like he has to go and attempting to go so there is definite progress. Here's what I suggest:

Everytime they have an accident take them in to the bathroom, remove the underwear and throw the contents in the potty and have them flush. This will get them to visually see that that is where "poopoo" goes. Then sit them on the potty to make sure they don't need to go anymore. Then have a conversation with them. Ask them "where does poopoo go?" They should say in the potty. Then say, next time tell mommmy when you have to go and we'll go poopoo on the potty. Consistently do this every time they have an accident and eventually you should see progress. It's not an overnight thing though.

Another idea is to keep them bare bottomed at home. They may be less apt to go on the floor.

Last, but not least, invest in a good carpet cleaning product!

Good luck

K.

Be postive, positive, positive!!!!!! Since they are in big kids pants, you can't go back to a pull-up. This will confuse them. It will take a few days but it will work. Keep lots of spare clothes and wipes handy. Once they have an accident they need to take a main part in the cleanup. If you go out, have them carry a backpack with the spare items. You need to keep this whole process in their court. Let them cleanup first and you just finish up (since it's poo poo and all). Be postive and encourageing but explain that they made a mess so they need to get cleaned up. Good luck!!! :)

Here's how I finally got my two boys trained. I made a decision to bring out all the stops over a long weekend. I told them a few days b4 that we were going to learn to use the potty this weekend. I got a big beach bag and filled it with cheap toys. I let them see the bag and told them over the weekend for every time they peed in the potty they could reach in and pull out 1 toy and every time they pooped they could reach in and pull out 2 toys. They were so excited. That weekend we totally camped out upstairs by their potty. They had nothing on their bottoms. My husband even brought our lunch upstairs. If one of them would start to squat to poop, I could catch him in the act and say "nooooo...let's do that in the potty and carried him over to his little potty" then he did it in there and we made a HUGE deal over it, called Grandparents, pulled out toys, hugs, all the good stuff. That's all it took...I still had to give toys for about a week, but then it was just the norm for them to use the potty...HTH! :) A.

I agree potty training is tiresome and requires lot of trials. Let me share with u what I did with my daughter. When she turned 2 I gave her warm milk in the morning and after say 10 or 15 mins sat with her in the restroom and read books and some times played a DVD in the portable DVD plaver (Barney or any of her favourites). I did it continuously for 1 month. So it became a regular thing for her ... After warm milk she had to do potty. But I avoided going out much during that 1 month and I made sure I went out only after her potty was done(At home).

Good Luck
P.