Poopie Older Pre-Schooler

I'm sorry to hear the school is being so unsupportive. My son is 5 and had been potty trained for 2 years and yet had a few pee accidents in the first few weeks of K. He just wasn't remembering to go in time because he was so engaged in class! The teacher said he was not the only one in the class either.

My daughter had a lot of problems with constipation and what worked best for her was Benefiber, about a teaspoon mixed in a beverage every day. It took a few months but it worked. She often had "skid marks" in the diaper when she couldn't get anything all the way out. My son also had them from poor wiping (he still asks for help at home).

Just a brief comment after reading your first paragraph. A "slight stripe" is an indication of poor wiping and not of pooping in his pants. This is common for kids well into grade school. The poor boy is just not mature enough to be co-ordinated enough to wipe properly. I suggest that you're adding to the pressure of going to school by focusing on this. I suggest he may be having more accidents because of your effort to stop him.

Surely the slight amount of poop is not a part of the reason for being expelled. If he is actually depositing smelly poop then I suggest that you change what you are doing to address that issue. It might help to back of by telling him that you know he can use the potty for pooping and tell him you're going to leave it up to him to take care of the problem.

I also suggest that if constipation is causing the leaking then deal with the constipation. Does he drink plenty of liquids? Does he have enough roughage in his diet? Perhaps try a stool softener which is very much different than a laxative. OTC Miralax is a common and effective one that you dissolve in a liquid. It has no taste and the drink keeps the same texture. It helps by drawing water into the bowels which softens them and allows them to pass normally.

Perhaps this is not a good fit for your son with preschool. You've not described anything that would indicate to me that he has a mental or emotional problem. Unless there is more to this story, I'd take him out of the school.

Parenting type counseling might help you to learn different skills so that you can help him learn how to control his energy. My grandson is on the autism spectrum and was acting out at home and school. Through the school district a social worker came to their home and helped my daughter learn a different way of disciplining. This greatly helped.

Sorry to disagree with the teachers but I would seriously take him to another pediatrician because it sounds like encopresis, the involuntary passage of stool. Further, you said most times it is little more than a stripe.

I will give you some links. Don't punish him. Don't pull him from school. If it is a medical issue--and I am betting that it is, the school should be your support system.

Most schools are not familiar with the problem so instead of supporting you, they are threatening you?

Here are many links that you can check out.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002537/

http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sick/encopresis.html

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/encopresis/DS00885

You need a good pediatrician that can help you through this. Constipation is the primary cause.

The plug in the colon the new feces is going around is the blockage. Poor kid.

http://encopresistreatment.com/

ETA: A competent pediatrician can approach it in a competent manner, but pediatric gastroenterologists typically deal with it too. Either way, you need a good pediatric doctor. If you read the links and you suspect he has it, look for a referral from a friend or your insurance company. For a treatment plan, it is best to begin by seeing a doctor. I don't think you should medicate him yourself. And make no mistake, any (small) sign of consistent soiling could certainly be encopresis. Just check the links from respected sources above.

I'm wondering what your son has to say about the problem. Does he know/feel that he's pooping? If not, he could have encopresis, which is more than 'slight' constipation; it's a partial blockage consisting of hardened poop and fresh feces does force itself past, resulting in slight soiling of the underwear. But the child may not feel it at all, because the hardened blockage stretches out the colon and causes numbing.

I may not be following all your details very well ("He is over that but is still pooping in his pants?" Is he withholding poop? Wouldn't that suggest he could be quite constipated by now?), but your pedi's advice sounds just a bit strange, based on everything I've heard about encopresis from parents who have dealt with it. I would want a second opinion, if possible.

Meanwhile, if the "accidents" are pretty small, might you teach him how to place a mini-pad that he can change during the day as needed? I'm assuming his teacher notices the smell, or else a slight accident might go unnoticed? An absorbent pad might make the immediate problem easier for your son or his teacher to deal with.

He may associate the toilet with pain from when he was constipated...I cannot believe your preschool is not willing to work with you. I am so sorry, I wish I had more to offer up.

There is something called "Encopresis."
It is an INvoluntary, leaking of poop.
The person cannot control it.
It is caused... by Constipation.
It is a medical condition.
You need a note, BY the Doctor, to prove to the school, that he has a medical condition.

He should see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist.
A regular Pediatrician, will not approach it, in the most knowledgeable way. And, properly.
With Encopresis, you need to see a Pediatric Specialist.

Encopresis, will show symptoms of 'skid marks' on the underwear.
Just like, your son.

If your son was 2 or 3, this potty training policy would be silly. However, he is 5. I DO think you need to take him to a counselor. And, a medical check up. He could be unable to control. IF something is happening at school, to make him do this, the counselor is trained to find out what. If it's not the school, and it is some sort of behavioral, emotional, mental issue or disorder with him...they can refer you to a specialist. In my opinion, a 5 year old should not be having daily accidents. It's either the school, medical, something conflicted inside him, or a perfect storm of all. A physician and counselor can really get to the bottom of it. I'm sorry this is such a struggle, I hope you get clarity soon.

I would have the pediatrician check again to make sure all physical issues are corrected. Then counseling as when you think about it, constipation is uncomfortable sometimes hurts. He may be afraid in some way.

Sounds like a counselor & a change of pre-schools is in order.

Check back with the pediatrician, ask her/him what their recommendation is, a referral perhaps to the right counselor not necessarily the one the school has referred you too.

It's obvious he DOES NOT want to stay in this school, so find a new one, maybe the problem lies with them & not him.

Miralax works to help us have more regular bowel movements.

The other option that I see no one mentioned is that there is nothing wrong with your son except that he really does want to stay home and if he knows that threat of getting kicked out of school is real he may be doing all this just to stay home with you. I would not call that a bad thing necessarily. He may need another year to mature emotionally before starting school. It's best to do it when they are young than to have to watch them struggle later and not relate to kids their own age. He may need to be evaluated by a professional to determine if this is the really cause. Good luck with finding the answer.

I agree with a momma above-a school change sounds like a great idea! Maybe something at school is causing the accidents? The school doesn't seem to be very supportive or helpful in the matter. A school should work with you in raising your child, not against you. I would also recommend talking to my child about what is going on...why is he doing this? Does it hurt to poop? What does "teacher" do or say when you have an accident? Etc, There has to be an underlying cause, and when you find it you can fix it.

Would they allow you to send baby wipes with him to use to clean up with after he poops? Maybe with him being constipated he still has some coming out or something that he isn't cleaning of well? Maybe it is easier for him to just get up and not try to finish using the bathroom. I would also watch him at home how he is cleaning up or wiping after his bowel movements, and correct him from there.

Good luck!