Both my kids 5 and 6 still go no 2 in their pants. Especially the 6 years old one. It is an every day issue. I took him to the doctor and he didn't see anything wrong. I tried EVERYTHING you can think of and still didn't get any results. He used to tell me that he does not feel it happening, but I don't beleive him anymore because he knows when that happens and what he was doing.. I have him wash his pants.. I tried to threaten him to show his pants to his friends (of course I didn't do it and will never do), but I am out of ideas. I am tired of the situation, the smell, everything. I need help!
Update: He does not hide when he goes in his pants, he is just playing and does not want to stop. He does not do it at school. He goes in his pants (I mean the whole thing), not just a little. I was not punishing him for a while, but now I am just fed up and feel very uncomfortable when his friends are visiting
It is actual poop, or skid marks?
If it is skid marks... then that is not poop, per say.
Sometimes, skid marks can be an indication of "Encopresis." Which is an involuntary 'leaking' of poop.
For Encopresis, you'd need to see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist.
It is a medical, issue.
You took your child to the doctor and the doctor didn't see an "anything wrong" with them having fecal accidents in their underpants??? Sounds to me like looking for a new pediatrician is in order.
A child can leak entire bowel movements without knowing it. Take them to a pediatric gastroenterologist that can check them for an intestinal blockage.
Please don't punish and humiliate your child for what sounds to me like a medical issue. Let me ask you a question. Does your child lie to you about other things--consistently? Why would your child lie to you about this unless it is because he is afraid of your reaction so he hides it!
It is frustrating and that is why your first point of contact should be with a pediatrician that believes that when a child sh*ts his pants, it is an issue!
Read this beginning to end!
http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/encopre.htm
This link has some recommended kid friendly books and videos:
http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/guides/encopre.htm
This is from the NIH:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002537/
Many kids that "suffer" from this condition actually need to see a psychiatrist because of the negative self esteem and social issues it can cause. "Up to 20% of kids with encopresis experience feelings of low self-esteem that require the intervention of a psychologist or counselor."
http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sick/encopresis.html
Be your child's supporter--not tormenter. Punishing them won't work for a medical issue he has no control over. Again, any pediatrician worth their weight in salt would have checked this out! Constipation is a very common problem in children and typically the "blockage" can be felt in the lower intestine!
"problems with encopresis and constipation account for more than 25% of all visits to pediatric gastroenterologists (doctors who specialize in disorders of the stomach and intestines).
http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sick/encopresis.html
You don't even have to "read" on this link...you can listen by clicking the speaker! How simple is that!
http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sick/encopresis.html
I would read the above, educate yourself and then tell them you are "sorry" for your behavior--that you love them and you will work through this as a "team". Don't punish them because you can get through this! It's a long road and believe me, positive encouragement works better than negative unless you want to deal with depressed teens with low self esteem.
Feel free to email me for emotional support because you have a "friend".
Talkstotrees is correct:
"The colon's job is to remove water from the poop before it's passed. The longer the poop is stuck there, the more water is removed — and the harder it is to push the large, dry poop out. The large poop also stretches out the colon, weakening the muscles there and affecting the nerves that tell a child when it's time to go to the bathroom. Because the flabby colon can't push the hard poop out, and it's painful to pass, the child continues to avoid having a BM, often by dancing, crossing the legs, making faces, or walking on tiptoes.
Eventually, the lower part of the colon becomes so full that it's difficult for the sphincter (the muscular valve that controls the passage of feces out of the anus) to hold the poop in. Partial BMs may pass through, causing the child to soil his or her pants. Softer poop may also leak out around the large mass of feces and stain the child's underwear when the sphincter relaxes. The child can't prevent the soiling — nor does he or she have any idea it's happening — because the nerves aren't sending the signals that regulate defecation (or pooping)."
http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sick/encopresis.html#
Before your next medical visit, things you can do to help him: Increase water substantially, eat a high fiber diet, and have him sit for 5-10 min after meals and before play.
My daughter used to go a little bit in her pants because she was busy playing and didn't want to be bothered to go. Then all of a sudden she'd have to go BAD and she wouldn't make it. The doctor also couldn't find anything wrong.
We tried having her wash her pants but she didn't care.
Just be sure that your children actually CAN feel when to go. So you're not punishing them for a medical condition they can't help.
What helped is we made her try to go to the bathroom every hour. She got tired of her play being interrupted by us making her go, and she decided she'd much rather interrupt her play when she has to go for real than to go than by us having to do it every hour. If they get irritated enough they'll make the decision on their own to go when they have to go. We didn't do it in a punishment tone, we just said seriously "well, you're having trouble knowing when to go so now we have to have you try to go every hour, just in case." It took only one day and she never pooped in her pants again. Except when she was sick, but we don't punish for that.
Good luck!
Does he hide while he's going? If so, then of course you know that he knows it's happening. If you truly believe that he knows and that he's intentionally just going in his pants, then I would tell him if he's going to act like a baby, I am going to treat him like a baby and I would buy diapers and make him wear a diaper for a weekend. Also, I would make him stay in his soiled diaper for a little bit of time so he understands just how nasty it is. Also, while he has that soiled diaper on, I would tell him to keep a little distance between me and him because the smell is offensive. I would also take the baby thing a bit further and make him go to bed earlier telling him babies need more rest, and not allow him to do anything that a baby can't do. As for the five year old, he's probably doing it because the six year old is. Good time for him to learn that he needs to make his own decisions and not just "follow along"and I would do the same to him, i.e., diaper, etc. The five year old needs to learn that just because someone else does it, it doesn't make it right and there will still be consequences to suffer. Good luck! I can't imagine how gross this must be!
Have you tried going to the chiropractor? One my friends had great success with a chiro for the same issue in her son.
Your doctor really is doing you a disservice by not exploring the cause further. I agree with everything that Talkstotrees said. Very valuable advice!
Good luck!
I think you might try putting them on a poop schedule. Men, in general, usually go first thing in the morning in my experience. I'd have them relax on the pot with a book right after breakfast and see if it works. Feeding a high fiber breakfast might get the bowels moving.
From your update it sounds like he actually doesn't know. Go see a specialist and not a ped or general doctor before you rule out anything medical. It would be cruel to punish him for something he can't control. I used to pee the bed every night till I was 12. I couldn't help it no matter what we did. It's just something you have to be 100% sure about.
I agree that you must not punish for this, there is enough shame without it.
I also understand your frustration (my son had encropresis and no longer has full BMs in his pants but I'm still scrubbing some waste) but you have to keep yourself as neutral as possible.
The easiest advice for behavior modification -- have each kid sit on the toilet for 10 minutes after every meal. Eating can trigger the BM muscles to go, so give their bodies a chance to get on a schedule. Make sure they have a stool under their feet, lifting enough so their knees are at 90 degrees to the floor and they are comfortable. Give them a book or hand-held game or something so it doesn't feel like endless torture, and even if nothing happens after 10 minutes let them off, thanks for trying, see you after the next meal.
Take them to the chiropractor.
I am wondering why it doesn't happen at school. Is he doing around the same time everyday? If so I would be making a no visit time at that time until it gets better. Get a second and third opinion if needed and talk to a counselor for him. If both kids are doing it maybe something is going on be it at school or otherwise but you need to be finding out.
I don't know if this will help but there was a kid in my grade school who would go in his pants every time it was nervous. This is going to sound awful but there were kids making bets when he would go during our first communion. Yeah really holy kids, I know.
He eventually outgrew it but I have no idea what caused it. Maybe it is the same type of thing.
