Potty Training - Dubuque, IA

15 months is pretty young to expect to totally catch on. It sounds like she doing great already. Just keep giving her the option of using the toilet and positive reinforcement. Every kid a different, and when she is ready, she let you know!

From what I have heard is that when they are ready to be potty trained they will do it, dont push it. With my 4 year old, she was 2 and one day just decided that she no longer needed the pull up and she truly from that day on did a great job! My advise is let her go when she wants to go BUT dont push her!

My oldest was very interested in getting out of diapers early and was fully "trained" by 17 months. This is how I did it:

1. Yes, she came into the bathroom with me every time. This made sense to me. (Her dad refused to let her in with him... which did not seem to matter.)
2. I always offered her the option to pee or poop ("Do you need to pee?"). If she said,"yes":
3. I sat on the toilet (fully clothed) spread my legs and sat her on the seat between my legs (bare bottomed) which held her and she felt safe.
4. If she peed or pooped, great! If not, great! No pressure. ("Oops, no pee! Oh well...")
5. Her potty chair was also available and she knew she could use it any time.
6. I let her run around without a diaper at times to make it easy for her to just sit down on her potty chair and go (I would time this when she hadn't gone in a couple of hours).

Your daughter's confusion at getting a cookie for using the potty makes sense. Why would she get a reward when you don't?

She sounds really smart - probably smarter than the rest of us. Take advantage and don't get her into the habit of needing rewards for things she wants to do. Rewards aren't necessary for potty training - however parental patience is.

Let her run around without a diaper, let her use both the potty chair and the toilet (safely) and watch her make sense of what her body is doing - she really doesn't understand it yet, but will in time.

Read: Raising Your Spirited Child. It is a parenting book for parents with smart (spirited) kids. You will never regret this perspective.

By the way, my youngest didn't fully train until almost 4 years old. Every child is different.

Go with the flow ... if she want to try... let her try... if she is not interested... don't push the issue. It is one thing to go on command and another to know when you have to go. I have heard so many toliet training setbacks ... and tend to agree with my ped... there are no setbacks when the child ready and understands going to the bathroom urges.

Hello B.!

I want to first say, congrats on mommyhood! Being a mom brings so many challenges and "firsts". When my oldest was entering toddlerhood I had everyone telling me when he should be trained and what I should do to train him. I tried everything, and did what people said to do. Really, he just back pedeled. Once he decided he was ready, that was it. He went on the toilet, and has been trained since then. From what I can see and what I have experienced ALL KIDS TRAIN AT THEIR OWN PACE/AGE/WAY. I don't think you should push her...just let her lead. You mentioned that she seemed confused. It is great that you caught her ready to go a few times and really praised her...keep it up, and maybe she will keep trying. I would just let your sweet 15 month old do what she feels ready to, when she is ready. I wish you luck! I know my little guy (2 1/2) is totally not ready even yet. He is stubborn...but he won't be in diapers forever. ~at least I hope not. :)

I say if your daughter is interested I would let her experiment with it, but at this age I would not push it. Putting a potty chair out for her and letting her sit on it, clothed or unclothes won't hurt her. If she goes praise her if not I wouldn't punish her. It will come when she is ready.

B.,

Some kids understand potty training mentally before they are ready physically. It sounds like that is your little girl. A good signal is when her diapers are dry after naptime and stay dry for a couple hours at a time in the day. She will probably be close to two before this happens, probably a little over two. But there are lots of things you can do now.

If you aren't too embarressed, let her watch you on the potty and talk about what you are doing and why. When you see her hold herself, do the "pee pee" dance, work on getting poop out, or hide in the corner to poop, describe what she is feeling and what that means. You can even add...When you are so big, you will learn to put the potty in the toilet just like daddy and I do.

You will save lots of time in potty training if you teach her how to dress and undress first - especially taking down and pulling up pants. (Because their arms are short and their bums are round, they have to squat a little and pull up with one arm directly in front and one behind. Otherwise their pants get caught on the cheeks of their bum.) And teach her pertenant words and concepts like up & down, wet & dry, clean & dirty, in & out. She can start to take charge of some things right now - getting and putting away diapers and wipes, getting out clean clothes and putting dirty ones in the laundry basket, helping bathe herself.

Get her self sufficient and independent in other ways and it can encourage independence in this area, too. I know that the big social push now is to let the kid potty train themselves; just realize that people who do this usually have kids who aren't potty trained until 3 1/2-5 years old. Why? Because the only reason us adults are potty trained is...1. It isn't socially acceptable to use a diaper or relieve ourselves in our pants 2. It isn't sanitary. So as long as your child sees using a diaper as socially acceptable and you clean her up so she is sanitary, she really doesn't have any motivation to be toilet trained.

Good luck,
S.

My advice is NEVER push the issue of potty training with little ones! It will come back to bite you, big time. Gently encouragement and patience are the way to train a child in this area, especially when they are so young and don't understand all that's happening. Ultimately, no matter what you do, they control things, and you want them working with you, not against you, to achieve success.

SAHM of seven

I just finished reading the book Potty Training 1-2-3 by Gary Ezzo. I really liked how they suggest to go about potty training. They give you ''readiness signs'' to look for and and a few different plans of attack that you can try. Its a short book you can get through in 1 afternoon and has alot of good information. I am looking forward to trying it out with my daughter in the next month or two.

My daughter started what your daughter is doing at the exact same age 15mos. but wasn't ready to be trained until 2.5years old. I pushed her and it back fired.

My 2 1/2 year old did the same thing when she was 20 months. But I learned with her, when I started to push, thinking that she was interested, she backed down because it was no longer her idea, it was mine. If she felt like it, and I didn't push, she would do her own thing. 2 days before she turned 2 1/2 she had a major blow out, it was so bad that I had to wipe but and legs off before I put her in the tub and as soon as she was done taking a bath, she asked for her "big girl" underware and has not been in a diaper since.. Has had a few accidents but they are few and fare between. I have heard from lots of people that girls do seem to potty train lots earlier then boys, but most of them, if you push and think you've got it, it tends to back fire!! I would just keep doing what you are doing, and she will mostlikely decide on her own that she is ready, and I really don't think that it will be too long

Ok I'll offer the other end of the perspective, my boys were trained very early, my oldest at 20 months and my youngest was in undies full time at 15 months. We used ELimination Communication. WIth my oldest we started very late, at 20 months, but he got it right away, and was in undies full time within a week (we use cloth diapers so just stuck with those for a week) and my youngest was earlier, at 6 months. By 9 months he was signing potty, by a year he was telling us potty, and by 15 months he could get his pants down and pee on his own, but obviously we had to hel pget them b ack up and help him wipe #2's.

The process is very simple, and very easy going. Its stress free, and I think you are right in the middle of your window to potty train. I think the window is up to 18 months. After that you have a child that is gaining his/her own point of view, is becoming stubborn, and isn't as willing ot please or copycat.

www.diaperfreebaby.org is a great site, check out the 'late start' area. Basically you watch your daughter for signs she has to pee. THe usual signs are glassy eyes, the 'pee shiver', staring off into space, squatting a little, pausing during running/walking/playtime nad staring off. Kids give signs when the yare hungry, hwen the yare thirsty, and tired, and they do when they need to use the toilet too. Babies are born with the muscles ready to 'potty train'. As they grow and get use dto peeing and pooping thier pants for 2-4yrs, they lose that muscle tone to hold the pee and urinate and need to re-learn that. THAT is why its so 'hard' to potty train.

Good luck, and if you have any questions feel free to send me a message. :)

That's great news that your daughter communicates so well at an early age and is showing early signs of toilet readiness. My daughter is 22 months and has been signing since 9 months too...makes life so much easier, I don't know why more parents don't put in the time!

I also have a 4 year old son as well and my daughter has been going to the bathroom on the toilet for a few months now (watching him really helps her want to do it). I think she completely grasps the concept of using the toilet, but just isn't physically ready to commit full time. She tells me when she's going, can't stand to wear a dirty diaper and such. In the past few days she's been sitting on the toilet more regularly, but still only goes once or twice a day.

I consider her in the early stages of toilet-training...and won't push it for at least a few more months because my thoughts on development such as this is that I'd rather have my kid 100% ready to commit so I don't have to run into every public restroom in town...just really have my kid potty trained and go before we leave the house. But with two it's more difficult to use restrooms than with 1 child!

I wish you the best! And it sounds like you're doing a great job as a mother!

B.,
It is a little early to expect potty training, just use pull-ups for her own ability if she is advanced. However, nothing is wrong with her to attend in the bathroom when her mother is there. If it gets stinky, she can leave, however, she will know it is ok to go potty. I presume you know the sign for potty, right? And she will need her own potty chair until she is a BIG girl to climb upon the BIG potty.
Have a blessed day!

Hi B., I' a mother of 5 grown up kids and have 3 grand children, the little ones are 4,3,and 2. My 3 year old grandson was born with only 30% hearing so often enough even simple words were hard to grasp for him, but he is an exceptionally bright child for his age, he started being interested in the potty when he was about 13 months old and this is was a hit and miss thing to start with but when ever we needed the toilet we invited him in to have a sit, children see you doing something and they will often follow suit, copying what you are doing, we also have books in the bathroom to have a look at whilst sitting so the child sits for a little longer than without anything else to do, boredom does set in rather quickly when they are very young only having an attention span of a few mins. Don't dispair though if your little one sits and gets up right away then comes back later its a learning curve and they do get the hang of things, accidents do happen and they wet themselves, just don't make a big deal about it say oops lets clean you up, and keep trying and before long you will have a potty trained child that is happy to go. I also had picture cards with various items on for my grandson to point at, so that he could get the message across instead of the usual uhhh uhhh, now his hearing has been corrected you cant stop him from talking we still use the cards which are dotted about the doors and walls for identifying items, like book, tree, etc, the toilet one i cut out from a magazine as they just don't do them in the childrens learning sections. Happy Potty Training and Have a very Happy Easter. Annie

Sounds like you are truly blessed with a wonderful child who is going to enjoy doing new exciting things quickly. We had 5 children in 6 yrs. and found that if we suggested the little one set on the potty about 20 mins. after eating we usually were able to catch the moment nicely. I taught all of our kids their colors with a reward of colored treats (rewards work really good and so simple to teach colors that way - a handful of M&Ms with the hint to pick the red one, or the blue one etc. - fun for the kids and they all seemed to enjoy helping with the reward) I also had the potty chair available in the living room (safely tucked in a corner until needed) and the child was not upset by being taken to "the other room" and the "trauma thought" of falling into the toilet. This may not work well for some, but we were out in the country with little company, so for us it made potty training extremely convenient and easy. All 5 were housebroke by the time they were 2. As soon as they understood what they were doing in their familiar element we let them go into the bathroom and never had a problem with any of them. We had both boys and girls and this method worked well with all 5. Good Luck

Having gone through this already I have a few bits of advise. Never close your eyes at a teachable time. Your daughter is aware what goes on in a bathroom. She knows potty (1 & 2) happens. She is excited to be a part of her own and her parents moments. You have to take the time to show her that the door is closed and when mom/dad are done they will come out. Assure her and wait with her. Read a book to her. Put on some music. Distract her attention when the door is shut and one of you is in there. She WILL forget. The fact that you made such a deal out of hers is making her want to be a part of yours! Our two daughters were talking and making new words a daily job were the most fun. She will grow and life will be even better when you succeed in teaching her new words daily! Encourage her to say the words and repeat, repeat and repeat. When it's time...don't say them for her - she will. Both of you will be happier. Words will make her toilet training easier for the both of you. Good Luck! B. M.

When my son was about the same age, he would stay dry at night. We would put him on the potty every morning and sit until he went. Some days we sat longer than others, but at 2 years 3 months I was easily able to potty train him because he was familiar with the potty and used to sitting there. I wouldn't push the issue much more than that.

My son went through a stage like that when he was 18 mos and we got all excited. We chose not to push it and disappeared and he wasn't potty trained until he was 3 yrs old. I would let her do what she wants and not push it. I have been told and have seen it turn into a control thing for the child and did not push my own child and it never was an issue. When we felt like it was right we talked about it for 1 week and planned on how we would throw the diapers away (he did this and we took pics and hung them up) and he was potty trained in one day! Good luck, what will you do with the extra diaper money!?!?!

Hi B.,

I won't repeat the already great advice you have received. But I will add something I found in researching this topic for my kids. Statistically, the earlier you potty train your kids, the longer it will take for them to be fully trained, i.e. going all night without an accident. Food for thought!

Grace and peace,
A.

Your daughter sounds just like my daughter did at that age. What I did was put a potty chair in the bathroom, but didn't force her to use it. I also asked daycare to start putting her on the toilet everytime they changed her diaper (since they have scheduled times). They resisted a little, but I pushed back, and then they were fine with doing it. Now, she is almost two years old, and potty trained about half way (for instance, yesterday she only used one pull up the whole day - not counting night-time). She started coming to me saying that she needed to go pee-pee or poo-poo and I never had to push her. I know that her daycare teachers also say that she is way ahead of the other kids that are her age, so I'm quite pleased with how I went about it, because it has not been stressful in the least.

If she's showing some signs, go for it. My son seemed pretty advanced in this area and we went for it. It takes longer at this age, but if they are interested, you might as well try it. Don't get discouraged if it doesn't work at this age though. Give it a try for a while and if it's not catching, then try again later. We did it kind of the same way you train a puppy. (That's the only potty training experience we had!) We had scheduled times to put him on and during the "busier" times of the day, we'd have him sit on the potty and read a book. Hope this helps and good luck.

My mother in law does daycare and before she even starts to potty train them she puts them to sit on the toilet just to get the feel of it. When my daughter turned one we started putting her to sit there while I ran her bath. She got so used to sitting on the toilet every night that once she was ready she already knew how it felt.