Potty Training - Waipahu,HI

Please do not force them....it is OK to wait untill THEY are ready. My son was only 3 months shy of his 4th bday before he was potty trained (with only two at home accidents).
good luck and be patient

It's so much easier to wait until they are ready - my son was 3.5 when he was finally trained, and no accidents!
Good luck

My son is 3.5 years old.
My MIL and Hubby... used to always question me WHY I don't potty train my son. Sorry, but I am not the militant type potty trainer that my MIL is.
I go according to my children's cues and readiness.
I don't choose to "force" it...

My daughter was ready at about 2.5 years old. Her telling us and wanting to.
My son, only recently, has ON HIS OWN, wanted to use the potty... and at THAT time, is when I did "train" him. He, is proud, there is NO battling about it, NO test of wills... and he simply goes. He can tell by his body when he has to pee/poop, will go to the potty chair himself, wipe after, and he will even take out the potty chair insert, dump it in the toilet then rinse out the bowl and put it back in his potty chair. WITHOUT my having to tell him to do it. And I don't have to hover over him to "remind" him to pee.

Prior to this, it WAS a real battle. My Hubby making him or wrestling the underwear on him... or just having him go naked.
Not fun.

NOW my Husband says "he's ready now on his own..." and he gave up his hard-core expectations about it and my son HAVING to be potty trained per his age. And the battles stopped.

At night & naps, my son still wears a diaper. He's not dry at night nor during naps. Normal. When we go out, he still wears a diaper. He's not ready yet, for outings only in underwear... or to hold it for long periods. Fine.
It all goes in steps... it is a process.
Same with my daughter.

But if a child is simply not ready... it will take a LONG time and it will be a battle and frustrating for the Parent.

I never used bribes or treats to get my kids toilet trained. Just praise and high-fives. If you do use bribes.. .sometimes the child will begin to EXPECT a treat/toy/reward/bribe each time.. .and if you don't, then that will be another battle, to segue out of.

All the best,
Susan

Hi there,
I have an on-line potty training book that I can forward to you. My eamil is ____@____.com's worth reading because it give you a little insight on what it going on in your childs mind regarding potty training.
Hope to hear from you soon!
M.

You do need to back up a little. If you push to hard you will give her a complex and she will find it harder to do this. Plus if you have a new baby she probably wants to revert a little and be the baby again for the attention. Diapers for night to begin with. In the morning when she wakes up give her a glass of water to drink and then ask her to sit in the bathroom. Let the water drip in the sink (hearing water run makes some people need to go) Get that book about girls and going potty. Sit in there with her and read that story to her. Dont rush through it.Once the story is done. If she went congradulate her. If not say ok so not today and give her a pull up to wear and let her get on with her day. Don't speak about it again. About an hour after dinner before you put her to bed. Again give he a glass of water and then put her on the potty. Let the water run a little in faucet again. This time give her a book to read on her own or a coloring book with a crayon. Sit outside the door but don't leave her. Let her sit for about 15 minutes, but if she wants to get up earlier say ok and just put the diaper on her. What you are doing is relaxing her enough that it will naturally work. You can talk to her about how once she manages to use the toilet how she can go with you to the store and pick out big girl underwear. And you let her pick them out. No matter what they are. My daughter was potty drained just after she hit two.

I think your girls are old enough to be potty trained & you need to stick to your guns. I have potty trained two of my three so far and they were so different from each other! My cousin has her degree in early childhood education, and she made this suggestion to me: be prepared to spend 2-3 days at home with the girls naked from the waist down. Yep! Day 1- Put a little potty in the family room or wherever you are playing. The idea is to keep it VERY close by. Day 2- put the little potty in the bathroom.
This process, combined with rewards worked really well for our daughter. The feeling of pee running down their legs is not enjoyable for them. Be prepared for a few accidents. Skip the pull-ups, it confuses them. Even panties can be confusing for them. Our daughter went commando for a little while. Our daughter was potty trained in 2 days and she was 25 months. Now I have to add that this method does not work as well for boys as their pee does not run down their legs! lol. Oh, and I also want to add that your husband ABSOLUTELY needs to be on the same page, or no method will ever work.
I just read some of the other responses and I wanted to add a couple more things. Don't make it a battle, but I have to say that a 3.5 yr old is definitely ready. Keep it fun. You could also try the Dr. Phil method: get a doll that pees and every time you have the doll pee on the potty, have a celebration. Your daughters will want the same fun reaction as the doll. Also, we didn't train for the night at the same time as day training. We figured why stress? What is the big deal about wearing a diaper or pull up to bed? When her diapers were consistently dry in the morning we gave it a whirl. Good luck to you! It is a frustrating time, but it will pass!

I tried to train my little twin girls right after they turned 2. It was a nightmare. We tried again at 29 months and it took 5 full days, this included night training. I read a potty train in 3 day book and used a little of that advice.

You should take a break for two weeks. And then try again.

I will let you know, that this was tiring and a little stressful for all of us. But it worked. The second attempt: First we went and they picked out new panties and undershirts. I got a of lot panties. I think 15 pairs each. I also bought them a size bigger. They were in size 2/3 so I bought size 4. This made it much easier to pull them up and down. I had them "throw away" all their diapers in a garbage outside. I got them out later when and gave them to a friend.

We were confined to the living room all day: (we have wood floors). We had salty snacks to make them thrisy and all their favorite things to drink. We had juice boxes and soda. We normally do not allow our kids to drink juice boxes and soda, so this made it exciting. I had two little potty's. I didn't use any bribes at first. We played puzzles and games all day, I urged them all day to drink drink drink. Then we would practice what to do. Every so often I would say (ENTHUSIASTICALLY) "Okay run run run to the potty, hurry! I would help show them how to tpull heir panties down and sit. They would sit about a minute and we'd get up and look. When there was nothing there, I would say "OHHHH NOOOO, there is no potty there" I would sound disappointed (but not mean). We kept this up all day. The first two days were all accidents. But when if they peed on the floor I had them take of their wet panties and put them in a bucket, then they would have to sit on the potty while I cleaned up the mess. I would say in my very disappointed and sad voice "Pee goes in the potty. This is SO YUCKY!, Mommy is so sad you peed on the floor" After it was clean they had to put on a clean pair of panties.

For night time, I stopped them drinking around 6 at night. Their bedtime was 8:30. I had them try to go right before bed. And right before I went to bed, my husband and I woke them up to have them try to go again. I set my alarm to get up a half hour earlier than they woke up. I woke them up and had them sit on the potties until they went. We never had any night time accidents. We only had to do this for 5 days.

The first two days as I said were a nightmare. It was frustrating. I made sure I was very nice and loving, I just kept up the sysytem. By day 3, they were peeing in the potty most of the time. I made a HUGE deal out of it with clapping and praising. I made sure everyone in the house made a big deal too.

We had to make a run to the store on day 3 and they both saw a little toy they wanted. I bought them and we put them on a shelf in the living room. I told them, if they pooped and peed in the potty without the accident they would get the toy. That next day (day 4) one of my girls said "oh poop" and she ran to her potty chair and pooped and peed. She was so proud. She got her toy. That enticed my other daughter to do the same. It was so awesome.

By day 5 we only had 1 accident and they were fully trained.

Sorry this was so much. Hopefully some of it may help. God Bless you.

I would back off for a few weeks and then try again. A lot of things I have read on potty training say the kids will do it when they are ready. If your 3 1/2 yr old shows no interest then don't force her. Just continue to let her see how you use the bathroom and maybe try again when she seems a little more interested. Just know she won't be in diapers forever. Good luck!

Hello...the potty training issue is a big one, especially when you're in the middle of it. My first two potty-trained around two to two and a half, a girl and a boy...no issues. Then along came my twins and I think they were in it TOGETHER! They just weren't interested in potty training and so I just was not going to force the issue...and I didn't and they were four years and four months old before they were trained, and then they were trained by pee and poop. It was easy. Kind of expensive on the diapers, but we could reuse them as they began to pee on the potty and re-tape them. The twins are now 17 1/2 years old and there has been no psychological issues with not "pushing" them into potty training until they were ready. No one checks records to see at what age you were when you pottied! ha In the whole scheme of things, it really doesn't matter if your child was trained at 1 1/2 or 4 1/2...who really cares? Good luck.

From everything I've read, potty training is a developmental step, like walking and talking. Forcing it is like forcing a 6 month old to walk. Give the training a break and just trust that it'll happen. No one goes to kindergarten in diapers! With my two girls, I let them set the pace. They both trained at 3 1/2, and it took all of one day. Night time training came about a month later. Let your girls set the pace.

This is a tough one but don't give up! That does not mean you need to 'force' the issue either. However, you can encourage them by taking them to the potty every hour or so just so they get used to the process, even though nothing happens. Make it fun and cheer them on just for sitting. When we were potty training my son, we would take him to his potty and cheer and clap and give him a 'way to go' or 'good job' just for trying. Also, we had a potty chart and he would get to put stickers on it every time he went.

Good luck to you and your little ones.

You mention she is tired of potty sitting, so i don't know if you have her sitting until she goes, but this is how I did my first. At home I had her in panties, but out & about I put her in pull ups. Once my daughter wakes up, I take her to the potty & have her sit for just a few minutes & see if she can go. Then I set my watch for 45 minute alarm. then when it goes off, I took her in to try to go. She would sit & try, but if nothing happens, i just say, maybe next time. and in 45 minutes we try again.... I had her wipe & wash hands, and this teaches the steps. She will eventually get it and mine got tired of me taking them so often and told me they would tell me. I turned the control over to them when they were ready. For nights, i used the pull ups too, but i had her go at 8:00pm (bedtime), then I would wake at 10 & take her, then again at 1:00am then at 6:00am. Had very few accidents, no laundry, and the wakings to go helped train her to recognize a full bladder at night while sleepy. She eventually begged me not to wake her as she would do it herself. i gave over the control & she has done great. She was day traines 3 months prior to her 3rd b-day & night trained around her 4th b-day. My son was night & day trained by about 2-3 months prior to his 3rd birthday. The sooner you get rid of the pull ups the better and i went to a grage sale & bought a weeks worth of clothes for like $5.00 to keep packed in a bag in the car in case of accidents. To keep carseat from getting nasty, i bought puppy pads and laid them inside the car seat. i stored a box of gallon sized zip bags in the car to store wet clothes in till we got home & to store nasty pads till we got to a trash can. I live in south texas & accident items will stink up a car quick! :) I also carried in my purse a small bottle of germ X & a small pack of wipes. Hope this helps you to be well on your way. Potty training is reallly for the parents to learn to be more aware of the kid's needs. The kids now how to potty, they just have to be given the opportunity and they will go. OH ! if your child is nervous about the flushing part, then also carry a small pack of post it notes in your purse & put it over the automatic flush sensor when in public to stop it from flushing when your not ready. Best of luck.

I would say you need to take a break for a month or so. I don't know about you, but I don't respond well to forced pressure to get anything done. So imagine what it feels like for a 3 yo trying to be forced to do something they don't want to do or have never done before. I am definitely not against forcing your child to do something that they should be doing, but potty training is just one of those things that they will get in their own time.

With my 5 yo, I was told by my parents and his birthmom to start potty training at 16 months. My son showed interest in sitting on the potty so we tried it. He would sit on it, but wouldn't go on it. This went on for weeks. Then I got pregnant and had severe morning sickness so potty training went on the back burner. Both hubby and I continued to take our son to the bathroom when we had to go and would ask him if he wanted to sit on the potty, but we didn't force it. We waited a whole year to start potty training again. It also helped that by then he was in preschool 2 mornings a week and they regularly took the kids to sit on the potty at school. So we just continued that schedule at home (9am, 12 noon, etc.). Basically it was after breakfast, before lunch, after nap, before dinner, and before bedtime. The day he turned 3 he made up his mind to go pee in the potty at school and never looked back.

So with all the stress from potty training my son, I was dreading potty training my daughter. But she took matters into her own hands. A couple of weeks before she turned 2 1/2, I started asking her if she wanted to sit on the potty whenever I had to go. She sat on it mostly because she wanted to be like her big brother. He would even sit on the toilet facing her while she sat on her little potty across from him trying to get her to go...that was so cute! After a few weeks of this, she woke up the day she turned 2.5 and told me that she wanted to wear her Big Girl Unnawears :). She had maybe 2 accidents everyday for about 2 weeks after that and then she was done.

So I think you should do what is the least stressful for your girls...and for you. Our pediatrician once told me to not stress about the kids meeting every single milestone when "all the other kids" are meeting theres. It's just not worth the added stress that we as Moms put on ourselves. He said that 95% of kids walk by age 2 and potty train by age 5, so why stress ourselves out. All you need to do is show them how to do it, be consistent, but not forceful.

I try to remember that piece of advice whenever I start stressing out about my kids. I practically made that my mantra when I was trying to potty train my son :).

P.S. My son is now 5 and still pees his bed at night a couple of times a week when he is a deep sleep mode. The doc and his preschool teacher said that boys tend to do that more than girls and usually their bladder catches up with their bodies by the time they turn 8. My daughter will turn 3 in a few weeks and still pees her pull up at night. But at least during the day they are both potty trained.

So your girls will get there. Right now at their age, it's a battle of wills. So just keep trying without stressing yourself out.

Try www.3daypottytraining.com My son showed NO signs of potty training and he did it in 1 day (you have to follow everything she says). He was 21 months when we potty trained him. I would recommend it to anyone - she has a lot of great solutions/suggestions.
Godo luck!!!

J. I feel for you! I have B/G twins. My daughter wanted to use the potty - I had her out of diapers in the daytime by the time she was 2yrs and 3mos. She was motivated, excited to wear big girl underwear, and she was easy, although she did have a few accidents at first, especially at nap time.

My son was another story - he flat out refused to use the potty or even wear underwear. I thought seeing his sister using the potty would motivate him - it didn't. I thought special "Thomas the Train" and "Cars" underwear would motivate him - it didn't. I thought special rewards like candy would motivate him - they didn't. In retrospect I think after my daughter stopped using diapers, then my son had some special one-on-one time all to himself - during his diaper changes.

So what finally got him to stop wearing diapers? One day he asked me if he could pee on the grass. I have no idea why he wanted to do it - but I told him he could only if he promised to wear underwear and use the potty from now on. And he agreed. Why would peeing on the grass trump special candy, praise and cute underwear as motivators? I have no idea! So he peed on the grass that one time and then he used the potty after that. He was 3 years and 3 months - so it was exactly one year after his twin sisterand amazingly, he did not have a single accident (at least not until we moved a year later - but that was a whole other issue.)

What I did with my son was try it for a few days and when it wasn't happening, I would drop it for a month or two. Then I would go back to it. I didn't want using the potty to become a negative or stressful issue for him. Someday your daughter will decide that she's ready and just do it. And since she is over 3, you won't be dealing with a lot of "accidents" like you would with a younger child.

Good luck!

I want to you all for all of your wonderful feedback. Our family child counselor suggested that we stop making this a power struggle, what all kids look for and love, to challenge us and our boundaries. He suggested I back off of the potty training for two week, placing the potties totally out of site, then reintroducing them.

You were all so kind and gracious with your advice, thank you!

IMO, back off and try again in a few weeks or even months. I know it's frustrating to keep them in diapers, but with our son, as soon as we backed off and then started again, he picked it right up. In fact, he is 3 1/2 and has not had any accidents, sleeps thru the night and stays dry, and during naps. In addition, your husband has to be consistent with what you're implementing, otherwise it won't work ever.

Please help yourself out and back off! All you are doing is stressing yourself & her out. She will get it I promise! Husband needs to get on board with you cause it is a full time thing. Wait a month and start fresh. and on the silly side, a non-potty trained 16 year old daughter is better during the dating years! :-) Trust me she'll be home on time. Again, just kidding. She will get it. When she's ready. Toddlers need to control things and this is her thing. It will happen so just take a breath and try later.

Try visiting www.pottytots.com. The Potty Tots are 10 preschoolers that sing and dance to teach potty training. It is fun for kids and stress free for parents. Get the whole family involved with this program. Check for signs of readiness on the site and then meet the tots and plkay games iwth them online. If they like them, order the kit (book, dvd, potty chart and game)
Kids love this program because they are having fun and are motivated to go potty "all by themselves"!

i trained my son by going in front of him..i would roll his stroller into the handicapped stall when we were out and have him see me squat and pee..yep..as tacky as that sounds ..that's how he learned..had him watch his dad too..but we're not together so it wasn't as often or i would have only had him watch his father..as for poop i would take the poop with the diaper and have him watch me flush it down the toilet and i told him that's where you're really supposed to go so you don't have that in your pants. He learned quickly..i also didn't give treats i just praised..and a lot of naked time..now that the weather is better just let the little ones run around naked..best if u have hardwood floors or pick a room that is safe..let them be naked and have a toilet in there..then when they go clap and say "YAY!!! you did a pee pee in the toilet!! WOW!!"
the final thing was getting my son to tell me when he had to go..i took him to preschool to see about signing him up...he was 3..and he was in the office and he heard the principal and myself talking about his bathroom habits and i told her he doesn't tell me when he has to go ...we talked about it for a few minutes..he overheard this and started telling me when he had to go. Lucky for me he doesn't go as frequently as i do...he can sleep thru the night and not have to go at all ...
so naked time..with an available potty...dump the poop in the toilet and say "bye bye poo poo" and let her flush..talk to her about it..let her see u go..don't pressure..put her in pull ups ..i started my son at age 2 and he was completely trained by 3...i never pressured..he had 3 night time accidents in one week...i told him he'd be back in diapers and it never happened again and i make sure he goes right before bed which i hadn't done before.
good luck hope this was helpful..you'll get there...let her over hear you talking about it to another mom or a friend someone other than your husband

dd

I'm a big believer in not pushing. All kids become potty trained at some point - some later than others. My daughter had absolutely no interest well after she turned three. I just kept asking if she wanted to try using the potty and she kept saying no but I didn't get upset and I didn't push. I would just say "ok". I took her shopping for new underwear with no talk about wearing it that day or any time soon. We would just say these are for whenever you're ready. We bought her potty books and DVD's and she watched them and read them but still wasn't ready - although I think the books and DVD's still helped get her familiar with the process. Anyway, on a Monday when we both had the day off I asked my daughter if she would like to try wearing her new underwear. I thought it would help to have the support of my husband in case she had a few accidents. I asked that she only "try" going to the potty every once in a while while wearing them and if she went - great - if not, that's ok too. We used jelly beans as a reward in the beginning but she stopped needing those after a couple weeks. I swear she hasn't had an accident since that first day and hasn't had to wear diapers again - even at night. She was ready.

I honestly believe they need to be ready - both physically (having the correct muscles developed to be able to hold her pee or poop) and emotionally (wanting to be clean and dry etc..). If your child isn't ready all the pushing in the world will not force them there. If anything it could make it more difficult. Don't worry - as her pediatrician says - there are no kids in college who aren't potty trained :) It'll happen and don't let anyone give you any grief (I had to deal with my husband and mother in law on that one - but now they admit I was right not to push). Relax and just keep asking them gently if their ready - they'll know...