Potty Training - Valley Stream, NY

Hello. I too tried the sticker reward system with my 3 year old. It worked for alittle bit. He too started doing really well at daycare and not at home. My friend tried the gift reward system with her son and it took off really fast. I too started it with my son with $1.00 gifts wrapped up. He would get one if he stayed dry all day long and got an extra one if he did #2 on the potty(since this was the one we were having the most trouble with). Within a week or so he was staying dry both at home and daycare!! Maybe the same will work for you. Good luck!! The most important thing is to not give up. They usually go at their own pace.

I had heard that boys don't fully train until they are 3 yrs and 3 mo old. Mine seemed right on the nose. I used Tic Tacs. Left a box in the bathroom and he got one EVERY time he went on the potty. Just be patient...he won't go to kindergarden in diapers. Good Luck!

Hi S.,

My best suggestion would be to purchase a potty chair. A lot of parents use the the potty seat on the "big potty". That just isn't as cool to them. A friend of mine was going through the exact same thing and I told her to buy the same one I have. The fisher price one that has all the bells and whistles. It is expensive but here we are 2 weeks later and her daughter is in underwear. My daughter trained in 3 days with this chair. And I am sure my son will be easy too. It was about $30, but it was worth the money to me. Good luck!!

Dear S.,

My son did the same thing. Day care great home no interest. He was doing it at day care because his friends were. He was showing he was a big boy. At home he was still the baby and we did everything for him so why bother? We tried reward system everything we could think of. Then one day I arranged a playdate with another boy in his day care. He was very excited to have a friend over and I said I know while your friend visits you'll be a big boy and us ethe potty when you need to. The boy came over and during the time he had to use the bathroom without asking for help. My son was impressed and he had to go with no help too. After that if he began acting disinterested in going potty at home I'd remind him what a great job he did when Ethan came over to play and if he continued to go potty at home we could invite another frien over. Seemed to work. Hope this helps. Good luck!

A.

just want to say im in the same boat. at 2 our daughter was telling us when she had to go sometimes and we were starting but not pushing it. then we got wrapped up in selling our house, moving to a horrid rental, moved into a new house, and have a new baby. needless to say all these things one after the other put the potty on the back burner of my mind. now its almost like since she is 3, she has an understanding of saying "no" where at 2 she didnt think of it. we have tried everything as far as rewards, wearing panties, cool alter pullups- nothing worked even though all these things seemed to work at 2 1/2. anyway, now i set the timer and have her sit on the potty every 45 min. at times she goes right on, others i have to pick her up and she cries. the crying times see to be when she doesnt want to stop what she is doing. i normally wouldnt force this issue either but as soon as she goes she gets so happy. please let me know if you find something that works!

What's going on here? his sounds lie a control issue, that might be resolved by letting your son choose. By age 3 a child should be potty trained! Perhaps you could appeal to his pride. You could put him back in diapers, and if he objects tell him you must have been mistaken in thinking that he was a big boy and ready for big boy underwear, then let him choose whether he'd rather wear diapers or use the potty.

I have 3 yr old twin girls and potty training has been a gruling task to say the least. My one girl is doing great however, the other one is less interested. As you mentioned we did the reward system and things were doing great at first. Similar to your son she does great when she is not at home and at home she gets lazy(playing or watching TV or eating) and tends to have alot more accidents. It is very frustrating because when they did fine at first and then regress you feel like they're just being lazy and not trying when you know they can do it. I've been trying to make her go to the bathroom every time she asks for something lately whether it's a snack, drink, toy/game or movie etc. I'll say OK go make potty first and then I'll get it for you and that has been working great. Maybe it will work for you also. I'm hoping it continues because I'm out of ideas myself :)! Good Luck.

Hi S., I have raised ten children and would love to help you with the potty training thing. Yes 3 is pretty old so it should not take long, esp since he is going at preschool. I would suggest asking the preschool just how they do it..I am wondering if it is part of the routine for the day. I did take my kids in throughout the day as part of my routine. Now at his age you need to require him to go in and go by himself..as in walk in and prepare to go, I stayed with my kids but wanted them to obey as far as willingly walking in. Now how ever you have corrected him use that. A lot of potty training is an obedience thing. If he can't go once he is on the toilet(I never used gross potty chairs..yuck!) then let him down to go play. If he goes ...I gave my kids a tiny candy (m&m or I used neccos) that gives the positive. Always take them when they wake up after naps before after meals...and if it has been over an hour..once he gets the idea that you expect him to obey and at least try I think it will be done in a matter of wks. My kids were all done with the daytime at 2 and half..now some went backward when a new baby came but I knew at that point to just give more attention and they would be fine..def use underwear once he has been dry a few days in a row..I do hope it goes well, you have been patient enough already~D.

We finally got our son to start potty training by using his cabbage patch doll on the toilet as a "model". He thought it was great and it worked from then on!

Hello S.

My son is 3 1/2 and what seems to be working for him besides the reward system...i made a chart for him to follow kind of like those books for kids with the pictures in the sentence so they can understad and he loves to say "check" as he follows each step. and when he was sick i put his potty in his room on a pad and he was sitting on it alot and reading books or watching tv. we have a new baby in the house so i can be proud that he is doing so well. i just have a problem with #2...well hope this gives you some ideas.
D.

Our daughter did the same thing; although she rejected the potty both at school and at home. After 3 days of accidents at school, her teacher and I sat her down and asked her if she wanted to wear diapers or big girl underwear. My daughter chose diapers. I told her that that was OK, but if she decided to switch back to underwear, then she couldn't go back to diapers again. What I did next, which I admit was a little passive-aggressive, was if she had a soiled diaper, I would leave it on her for a little longer than usual as to be uncomfortable. 2 1/2 weeks later she requested underwear.

It is not unusual for kids to reject going on the potty after being potty trained. It just really stinks (no pun intended) because here us parents are high-fiving eachother because we no longer have to buy diapers; and then the little munchkin puts us firmly in our place.

Hi. I'm also a mom of a beautiful 3-yr-old boy.

When we were potty training at home, we gave a little incentive to make it more fun.
We tried putting a cheerio in the toilet and asked him to aim for the cheerio! Silly, but someone recommended it to us and it worked.

Another thing to try is to keep M & Ms in a little see-through plastic container, every time he tries to go to the potty (even if it doesn't "come out") he gets 1 m & m; every time he does "make it in" he gets 2. Generally, we don't use food for rewards, but this got our son potty trained in (literally) a matter of a week!

Hope these suggestions work for you.
-H

have you tried naked? that helped my 3 y/o. go naked on the bottom, ply him with fluids so he has to go frequently, and keep your eye on the clock, make sure he goes periodically. and go nuts when he does pee on the potty- just cheer, clap, dance around, go nuts. my sister advised me to use little rewards like smarties or m&m's- give him one simply for trying, and 2 if he goes successfully. and the other key component is to do this approach for several days in a row. you just have to be home for a few days in a row to focus on this and only this. good luck

stop making a big deal over it,when he is ready he will do it all by himself,my grandson is also 3 he is now just getting it,little boys are stubborn, there just little men!

At 3 years old, he almost certainly understands what he needs to do, just is not choosing to do it. I personally don't believe in reward systems, never used them with my own two kids, because using the toilet is something THEY should want to do, and have to do, not because it would please me. Neither of my kids ever showed any interest in using the toilet and if I waited for that magic day where they asked to go, it never would have happened (the first time, I tried, believe me). I'd say to keep him in underwear (if he has a lot of accidents, you can use plastic pants for cloth diapers to help contain some of the mess) or cloth training pants with waterproof outer layer, and take him to the bathroom about every hour and a half while you are at home. Don't ask him if he has to or wants to, don't present it as an option, just take him. I wouldn't make him sit a long time, either he'll go or he won't, but eventually it'll click that it's better to just go to the bathroom when you're on the toilet than in your pants.

Good luck! I know sometimes it feels like it will never, ever happen but it will!

If he is 3 he does understand what you are saying. I believe you need to push him a little. If he was doing better before he knows what is expected. He just wants to play and going to the potty takes away from that. Let him know if he goes to the potty he can stay upp a few minutes longer to play or play longer before nap time. Just hold off on teaching him how to tell time and it will not even change the scheduale you have not. LOL I am so mean. But you need to strongly suggest to him that life will be grand if he goes on the potty like a big boy. Just like daddy. I think he might be minipulating to have his way just a little. He is learning. Is it possible he is picking up some kind of negative lesson from the other kids at school??? If so make sure you let him know that the other boys and girls don't get to have as much fun or special time if they are not using the potty.

HI S.,
I am not sure if you are having more trouble with your son with urinating or stooling or both. I can guess that the BM's are more difficult. A coulple of suggestions.
If he won't pee at home try a plastic sunny D bottle. let him pee into it and dump it and flush. He may make a game of it and at the same time learn to like being dry.
Secondly, the toilets at daycare are probably low and not so hard for him to have a BM. Get a stool for at home so when he is on the toilet he can have something to put his feet on and push when he needs to. Also put cheerios in the toilet and challenge him to hit the target! I used to give my kids a penny to put in the bank after every time they went and an m&m for a treat. If they went a whole week trying to go with no purposeful accidents we went to the store for a toy. Doing these things worked well for me.
M.

My son did not potty train until he was about 3 1/2 years old. He had no desire to even try. When he went to daycare, they got him to go. What I was told to do was put him on the toilet every hour and give him a chance to go. We didn't get one of those little potties. I didn't have the stomach for it LOL. We got a "potty booster seat". I put him on the potty every hour and they did the same at day care and he was trained (daytime) within 10 days. He didn't make it through naps or through the night for a few months longer. There is a muscle which develops at WAY different times in every child. That is why some potty train at 2 and others not until 4. If that muscle is not developed then they cannot "hold it it". We would have him not in diapers during the day, but right before naps, long car trips, and bedtime. When he finally woke up dry for a week, we took the diapers off completely. AND we did NOT use pull ups. That sends a mixed message in my mind. If they look and feel like underpants, then it's ok to urinate in your underwear, know what I mean? Anyhow, by the time he was 4, he was done completely. No accidents. Want a good tip about cleaning up accidents during the night quickly? Put on a fitted wee wee pad, a fitted sheet, another wee wee pad and another fitted sheet. This way if there is a nighttime accident, you just have to pull off the first set of weewee pad and sheet and the bed is already made. No changing sheets in the middle of the night. Everyone's happy. Good luck, dear, and don't lose hope. One day you'll turn around and notice the job is done. I don't believe in the reward system for anything because I believe it punishes them for when they don't succeed as well as rewards them for when they do. I don't agree that it helps their self esteem any. The star rewards are fine for chores such as making his bed or doing his homework or finishing his lunch, but for something that he just can't help right now, it sends a negative message in my opinion. Just celebrate his successes and downplay the failures. Besides, my son never fell for it anyhow. After 3 days or so, he learned to live without the sticker or checkmark on the chart, etc. so it was a waste of time. I hope this gives you a little encouragement.

Hi S., My name is Mary. I am now 62 and have raised 5 children and am now working on my Grands. Unfortunately some children are three or more before they are fully trained. The fact that he goes well at day care and not at home says to me that he is rebelling or feels he gets more attention by not going on the potty at home. This happened in my family when one son had been trained and suddenly reverted. He did have an 18 month old sister. The Dr. suggested training her. She was young but was OK with sitting on the potty. We would make a big fuss, even if she had not really done anything. Our son decided he wanted to be big like everyone else. This may not help you and you just may have to wait it out. It is also a form of control. You are wise not to push him as that can cause damage. Keep smiling and enjoy him. They grow up too fast!