Help! I am in the process of potty training my 2 1/2 year old daughter. She does really well when she is with me and/or my husband and has been letting us know that she has to go potty. We've had some accidents, but they do not occur very frequently. I think she understands that she has to pee or poop in the potty and that it is not okay to go on herself. She also does very well when we are out in the community and have never had an accident when we are out. However, when she is at daycare, she would not let them know that she has to go potty and would have an accident at least once a day! They take her several times a day and on a schedule, and I was told that she would use the potty when they take her, but she would not ask to go if she has to go between scheduled trips. I need some advice on how to teach her to tell them when she has to go! When she's at daycare, she doesn't seem to care if she is wet. It almost seems like she thinks it is okay to wet herself when she is there...HELP!
Thank you all for your responses and suggestions! I don't know why I never thought to ask her daycare providers if they ask her in between scheduled trips if she had to go potty, since I do ask her myself every so often when she is with me if I feel like it has been a while since she last went or initiated. She is supposed to be starting preschool next month and being potty trained is part of the requirement, thus we have been working hard on it. I feel like in all other aspects she is ready for preschool and want to give her the opportunity for it instead of being in daycare, but perhaps I should reconsider...She loves winnie the pooh, but i haven't been able to find pooh underwear which i thought might work! She does have quite a few pooh stuff toys though, and I would ask if pooh as to go potty too and she usually takes it with her to the potty and they all "go" together! I will also ask her daycare if they would place a potty stool in whichever room that she is in to see if the visual will help her remember. Thank you also for introducing the book, potty training in a day, to me. I will definitely check it out!
This is perfectly normal. She is only and her focus is short and varied. I would back off and just focus on potty training when you are with her. The other will happen gradually. Are you having her wear those pullups so that if she does have an accident it doesn't show?
Hi E.,
There may be a couple of things going on here. Maybe she's not as comfortable asking the daycare people to take her (since it's not one of the routine things). The other thing is that with all the kids and the activities she may not want to leave the fun to go to the bathroom.
Accidents, though, are just a part of potty training. My daughter potty trained fairly early, but still had accidents at day care for months (sometimes infrequently and sometimes there would be a week where she had an accident every day). Her accidents always increased in the first week she was in a new daycare room (moving from toddler 2s to toddler 3s for instance). And sometimes it takes having those accidents to make potty training really stick. With my daughter she did great as long as we took her to the potty frequently, but she didn't always tell us when she needed to go. After a few accidents she got better at announcing her need to go instead of just thinking we were being annoying for always making her sit on the potty! Good luck.
Just a thought - I had the similar situation with my son. Daycare finally came up with what was a wonderful idea - instead of asking in between the scheduled visits if he had to go potty (which always got a strong NO response!) they asked if the character on his underpants had to go - Does Mickey Mouse have to go potty? or Superman? etc. This got the answer of yes or no depending on his need and after that, all was fine. Maybe worth a try.
Good luck.
N.
I'm not sure what to do about the daycare situation, but we trained our 27 month old son in a day, with the book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day. If she's already that far along, doing it with the book might reinforce it and solve the problem. The book is kind of long at the beginning, so if you're short on time, start at chapter 4. It's on amazon.com for cheap.
It sounds to me like she is probably just too busy at daycare to think about asking for help getting to the potty. My son (2 1/2) does that sometimes when he's really involved w/ a game or toy -- he just can't bring himself to interrupt the fun. I'm good at catching that at home because I know the "potty walk" or "potty wiggle" where he just LOOKS uncomfortable, so I know to take him right THEN before there is an accident. I'm sure at daycare he wouldn't be as closely observed, so there would be accidents. I'm not sure what advice to offer, other than to make sure the staff at daycare are taking her as often as they can. Scheduling doesn't always work for us because it varies: sometimes if he had a really big drink, he'll need to go every twenty minutes for an hour, other times he can go 2-3 hours between potty breaks. I'd probably go with training pants to catch the accidents at daycare, and continue to have the staff praise her for going in the potty. Hopefully as she matures she'll get better at interrupting her playtime to go potty. What you are going through sounds very normal to me. Hang in there, and good luck! :)
You've received some good suggestions. Here are my thoughts to add to the mix --
In your email you said that the caregivers take her to the potty several times a day on a schedule, but in between potty visits, do they ASK her if she needs to go? Maybe her bladder is not mature enough to coincide with the scheduled potty visits, and the caregivers should ASK HER between "scheduled" potty breaks if she has to go.
A very viable option is to keep her in a diaper or pull-ups at school for a little while longer. This should not be viewed as a failure. It's perfectly fine.
your daughter is 2 1/2. she is progressing wonderfully in the potty training realm. it is NEVER advisable to push a child other than what they are willing to do. they will get it just fine, in their own time. No need to worry, and no need for concern. too much pushing or concern will result in the opposite effect, and you don't want them to be discouraged. The 'train in a day' plans are ill advised, no pediatrician would ever recommend that.
From a mommy and an M.D.
Is there a reason that she has to be potty trained at day care right now? If not, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea just to let her wear diapers or pull ups while she's at day care until she gets more comfortable with telling the workers that she needs to go. (And depending on how many other kids they are watching, and how attentive they are, the workers might not be picking up on your daughter's need to go - so it might not be all your daughter's fault that she's having accidents.)
If you just keep doing what you're doing at home, I would think that her confidence will continue to grow. But I just don't think you're going to be able to teach her to tell the day care workers at this point - because I think this is something the day care workers need to encourage/facilitate before your daughter would be able to really grasp it.
Congrats on getting so far in the potty training efforts, though! You guys are doing GREAT!
