Potty Training - Simi Valley,CA

My son is 3 1/2 and we are going on one month... my son got it on day 5. I kept him naked for 5 days (we stayed in the house/backyard). I was in tears the whole time, cleaning up pee & poop. On day 5 I really saw the light at the end of the tunnel...

good luck
Toni

Hi A K Many will tell you he's not ready but at age 3 I justcan't give you that advice. I think part of the problem is that you waited so long, the longer you do something a certain way the harder it ito change it. Also thiry seconds is no way long enough to ae him it on the potty and usinbg diapers at night and when you go out is just confussing him because what you are saying to him by doing that is it;s OK to pee and poop on your self at night andwhen were away from home but it's not OK while were at home. Also you need to use reward and discipline if there is no conseqences for not using the potty he has no reason to use the potty. I potty trained my 3 before the age of 2 and during the last 14 years I have potty trained many many kids but I started them all at the age of 20 months, and at the age of 2 mu husband was teaching our bos how to stand up and go. You need to change the way you are potty training and get your husband involved my husband was a big part of our sons being potty trained by the time they were 22 months old. Hope this helps some. J.

Updated

Hi A K Many will tell you he's not ready but at age 3 I justcan't give you that advice. I think part of the problem is that you waited so long, the longer you do something a certain way the harder it ito change it. Also thiry seconds is no way long enough to ae him it on the potty and usinbg diapers at night and when you go out is just confussing him because what you are saying to him by doing that is it;s OK to pee and poop on your self at night andwhen were away from home but it's not OK while were at home. Also you need to use reward and discipline if there is no conseqences for not using the potty he has no reason to use the potty. I potty trained my 3 before the age of 2 and during the last 14 years I have potty trained many many kids but I started them all at the age of 20 months, and at the age of 2 mu husband was teaching our bos how to stand up and go. You need to change the way you are potty training and get your husband involved my husband was a big part of our sons being potty trained by the time they were 22 months old. Hope this helps some. J.

AK - Toilet training can be a really stressful time, for the parents & the child. The child is talking and striving for independence. It is natural for parents to ask a child if they have to go to the bathroom & it is just as natural for the child to say, "No", and then potty his or her pants one second later. With my own children & the children in my at-home preschool/daycare, I have had great success by incorporating going to the bathroom into our daily routine. At home, I suggest that parents start off in a way that is easy for the child & for the parents: add going to the bathroom into 2 routines you do everyday - changing into pajamas, and out of pajamas. It just is part of the routine, and not something you are telling your son to do, and that oftentimes eliminates the battle/power struggle between the parent & the child. "Oh, before we put on your jammies, let's go potty", "Time to get dressed, let's go potty before we put on your shorts." You can follow up with, "We go potty before we put on our jammies, or before we get dressed for the day." Wait just a couple of minutes on the toilet/potty chair (not just 30 seconds) and if nothing happens, try again in a few minutes. After a week or so of this (once your son has acutally made potty in the toilet a few times), add in going to the bathroom before lunch (when he is in there washing his hands anyway), before going out to play, before and after nap, before or after dinner, and always before getting into the bathtub. Don't add all of these at once; just pick one for this week, add another next week, and so on. Pretty soon, it will become a habit for him to go any or most of those times. That is really what you are doing: creating a habit of going into the bathroom and going potty in the toilet. Be patient with him and with yourself. Is he in preschool or daycare? If so, are they helping you/him? Believe me, there is no rush. If you take your time doing this, it will allow him to really understand the process of his body needing to go to the bathroom. Once he realizes what he felt like right before he pottied or pooped, then it will go pretty quickly. And accidents are ok - they are learning experiences. Be patient with yourself and with your son (and anyone else involved in this process) and enjoy those little bathroom breaks! Peace to you. B.

I agree with Peg, it sounds like he is not ready. If he is okay with wetting himself, he doesn't have any motivation to use the potty, and like she said, if you press the issue it will make it worse. If you wait until he is really ready it won't take long at all. My friend got a program online that's like a potty training boot camp - don't leave the house for 3 days, throw away the diapers and never go back! :) I don't know what it's called but she said it was good, I'm sure there are plenty of resources online for that type of thing. Good luck!

I let my son go outside for a week or so. It was so much fun for him that I used it as a bribe. It helped him learn how to aim and control flow. If he wanted to pee outside, he had to pee inside in the toilet first...IN the potty, not the wall, not the outer rim, not the floor.

To help him stay dry, every 30 mins or so I'd ask him if he was dry. If he was, then I sent him outside and he got to go. Sometimes it was just a little squirt but it sure helped him focus on keeping his pants dry.

gl!

Unfortunately he doesn't sound ready. If you don't get pee in the potty in a week you may want to back off for a while. Keep showing him the potty and having him try occasionally but save yourself the laundry.

My son was pretty slow on the potty training. I put him in pull-ups and showed him how to use the potty around 2.5 and then he stayed in pull-ups more than a year before he was ready for underwear (3.75). He did pee in the potty a few times a day, especially at bedtime. But I was pregnant and had a new baby that year so I had no energy to work at potty training him. But by the time he got in underwear he didn't have many accidents except when he was sick.

3 y/o yes he is waaay ready! He's been watching everyone go potty for a while now. And at 3y/o I'm sure he's talking, knows what the potty is and what he's supposed to do on the potty. But he just refuses to use it. Just keep at it, he'll get it soon.

Good Luck!

As hard as this must be to hear with a 3yo, it really sounds like he's not ready yet. If you keep insisting in spite of his resistance, you run the risk of making the whole process longer and more difficult for both of you.

Here's a wonderful, informative website you might find helpful. It gives a few variations on"readiness" checklists, plus tips on various training strategies, the best ages to start them, and the advantages and disadvantages of each approach: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

It sounds to me like he isn't ready, especially since he just wets himself and doesn't care (they are really supposed to let you know at that point). He has to show some sort of interest. With my son, we read books about the potty (they always made him want to go sit on it), he got M&Ms when he went pee or poo in the toilet, and there were a lot of accidents at the beginning. He was potty trained at 2 and a half years, but we still had consistent accidents for another month or two. Once you can get one or two potties in the toilet, then you know he is closer to being ready. Maybe pull back for a week or so and then try again? We also bought some padded underwear that holds the pee in a little bit more (not as messy and they can really tell its wet), they are in the infant section at places like Target. That might help too.

My daughter is turning 3 this month and just got out of diapers regularly about a month ago. She showed interest on and off over the last 18 months, we tried following her lead, we tried pushing it, we tried sticker charts. Whenever it was me pushing the agenda, she really resisted it. So I backed off and one day she just announced she wanted to wear underwear and use the potty. Be warned however - this was not without accidents while she got the hang of it. I have two suggestions - one is to look for things you think might motivate him (right now it sounds like you are motivated but he is not... i know this feeling very well) - being around slightly older kids who use the potty, making something big and special contingent on being able to use the potty (going camping or to a special event or something he likes), etc. The second is to talk to him about the mechanics of it all - having 'the feeling' like you have to go, letting it go out of your body, etc. I don't think the experience is very intuitive for them.

Hope that helps. Good luck with it!

Hello, I have four now grown kids, six grandkids. I potty "trained" all of our kids, several daycare children, and so far, three of my grandkids. I found that if it didn't happen in one day, they weren't ready. I would put the panties on them (thin panties) and if they didn't care about being wet with urine running down their legs by the end of the day, back on went the diapers. We would try again in one week. Two of my four kids were exclusively in panties by 2 1/2, one was in them by 20 months, my youngest was 3 1/2. They each have their own clock for this. My grandkids were around three when they stopped needing diapers. I have always felt that if they live to be 80 or hopefully 100, did it really matter when they got trained? I promise you that your son won't go to school wearing diapers.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

Many kids this age, cannot yet pull up and down their own pants, much less do it in time to pee.
They don't yet have the fine-motor skills for that or hand/finger dexterity.
So do not expect him, to do this. Yet.
Many kids this age, do not even dress themselves yet.

He does not sound ready.... his body's cues don't synchronize yet, with his brain. Potty mastery is about the body's biological maturity and brain/bladder/nerve development. In conjunction with the child.

Boys, often master it later.

I have a son.

Some signs of readiness for potty training:
Your child can tell you they have to go
Waking up with a dry diaper at naps or bedtime
Also, do you have some sort of reward system for every time your son does go potty, such as stickers, M & M's, cheap small toys, etc.? This can be help in motivating a reluctant potty trainer.
Finally, it may be easier for him if he just wears his underwear and no shorts or pants. This will make things really easy for him if he has to go.
A great read on the subject is the book: Potty Train your Child in Just a Day.

I had similar experience with my son when he was 3. Most of people thinks that he was no ready. Then, I trusted them.. but, approaching 3.5 years old he was still not showing anything interest. He jsut didn't care about the mess in his butt. All other issue, like he would stay dry for hours, regular poo poo. etc.. Then, I figured he might be just "don't care". He made him to wear underwear all the time. But, we didn't make him sitting on potty every 30 mins, because it made him not wanting to do it and having tension between us. So, he peed or pooed in his underwear.. it took him like weeks.. First, he told us after accident, then, he told us one second before the accident.. then, it became he could alert us a little longer , then longer so that we have time to rush to potty. So, I just really thought that some kids may indeed need to introduce not just wait. We did encourage him and not make big deal if he created a mess. Also, my son didn't like sitting on potty to pee.. He learned standing to pee at the beginning..

Hi there, I believe that by the age of 3, he should be ready to use the potty. When potty training my daughter, I took a portable potty (it played music when "something" touched the bottom of the bowl) and brought it into whatever room she was playing in.(when we were in serious potty training) I really wanted to make it as easy as possible for her. She learned how to take her diaper off, and then she would just sit on the potty. I would always say to her, "let your pee go" I know it sounds weird...but it worked. As time went on the potty was moved closer and closer to the bathroom, until one day, I just put it in there. The day we gratuated to a real toilet was when we were in a grocery store, and she told me she had to go potty. When we got home, I told her that the music potty was going to be put away for her future brother or sister, and it was time to use the big potty. That's when I started giving rewards. I used the mini M&M's and gave her 3 for pee and 4 for a poop. :) Since she didn't get many sweets back then, she didn't let me down......she was in underware by the age of 21 months. I did however, introduced that musical potty very early. I think my daughter was a year when I took it out and put it in the bathroom. Just so she could see it a know what it is. There were a million times where she came into the bathroom while I was peeing and she would just sit on her potty (with clothes on)
My sister potty trained her son at the age of 3 (the day after his birthday) he was very stubborn, so she let him go naked (shirt only) and he was trained in 4 days. Yes, there were a few accidents and set backs but you just try to stay positive and move forward.
Don't worry, they all get potty trained eventually!
Good luck!