Potty Training and Holding It

I have an 8 year old that still has the poop in the pants issue occasionnally. It is really disgusting and I have totally used the embarrassment factor on him. My main point is this though. If you are anywhere near Savannah and decide to see a pediatric gastroenterologist then Dr. Christopher Rittmeyer is good. He is affiliated with Memorial Hospital. My younger son has to see him periodically for polyps and I really like him.

My son is the same...he holds it for a long time and you see him squatting down while he's playing, I tell him "go to he potty!" and he really goes only when the poop is on its way out, otherwise he'll say"I don't have to go" and holds it for a little longer. Hetoo had a couple of occasions when I found poop in his pants at school. Very gross, I had to throw his undies away. But it doesn't seem to bother him and so he keeps doing that. I bet, though, when his peers will start to make comments on his smell, he'll be more motivated to use the potty. For now, nothing works, he does better at home of course because I see him when he's getting ready and I "encourage" him to use the potty..you see him running with his hand "holding" his butt like in these old funny movies...he is so cute! I must say though, that even with pee-pee is a struggle with him, he does pee pee in the potty but he is often wet when I pick him up from school and even at hone he waits too long before going and gets wet up to 3 times per day. I have enough of washing his clothes, believe me! But it became a power struggle, in time, so I decided to take some pressure off lately. One thing is for sure, I do NOT use laxatives, only enemas if needed and I feed him as many veggies as he can eat. Water also is key but my son doesn't drink much. And that's a problem too!

there is a good article in this months parents magazine about this...

basicly they say you have to continue the laxatives for a long long time..

until the child is over this issue.

so I think you just continue with the miralax or milk of magnesia until he decided to poop on the potty on a regular basis..

I give my kids (2 girls and 1 boy) a prune every day. Makes all the difference! Or you could try a little plum juice. Or milled flax seed sprinkled on his cereal or yogurt or baked into some muffins.

Have you tried the "everybody poops" books and tapes? Or maybe making a big deal about you and your husband doing it? That is what we are doing with my daughter and it seems to be working well, We also keep kid friendly 'reading' material and little toys in there to keep the mood light. Good luck!!

My son had a similar issue last summer when he FINALLY potty trained. He was four in July! We, too, conquered the pee first and then the poop issue began. He just did not want to sit and poop on the potty. It was almost as if he was afraid of it. He held out for DAYS. When it would near a week we would really panic. As gross as it may sound we made every poop in the family a big issue. We made each one obvious and a reason to celebrate. We even did a poopy dance (I am admitting to all this?) . At four it still seemed to help ease his fears. I am in no way down playing the constipation issues. My son had them even on formula and diapers! From a very young age we had to face the issues and work on them. So following your pediatrician's plan (as long as you trust them to make the best decisions medically for your child) and making the poop an accepted thing that everyone does all the time IN THE POTTY is a process. I know some parents who have used the 'embarrasement' techniques and at the right times this can be helpful. Especially later with trying to train the overnights (we are on that now). I really put alot of emphasis on the teaching that it is not only okay but a common thing to poop in the potty. For him it is new, we need to make it not a big deal...we need to share that the potty is a good thing and nothing to fear...that is where our dance, celebration and reward program came into play. I remember even rewarding his Dad in front of my son for going poop in the potty...a sticker or some small thing is a big deal for a 'job well done'. Best of luck! It will happen!

Get him off the Miralax first and fore most please!! That stuff is horrible and I don't know why it isn't illegal to have it on the shelves!! My daughter got put on that because she is an infrequent pooper and it was starting to cause her belly pains. I had never heard of it and looked it up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miralax (ethylene oxide-a colorless flammable toxic compound C2H4O used especially in synthesis (as of ethylene glycol) and in sterilization and fumigation. ethylene glycol-a thick liquid diol C2H6O2 used especially as an antifreeze and in making polyester fibers. Both definitions came from www.merriam-webster.com And what blew my mind is that there are babies on this stuff!!!!!

Have you asked your son why he won't poop in the potty??? Does it hurt him because it's too big? (tearing the skin) Or he just doesn't have time to stop what he is doing to do it??
Give him a probiotic to help regulate him instead of the miralax. GNC carries several different ones for children and a brand that I really like for myself is cultrurell (walmart and walgreens). They also have a kids one that is mixed just like the miralax. I haven't tried that one for my daughter yet but I will when the bottle I got from GNC is gone (it's a berry flavored vitamin shaped one that even my 4yr old son will take.) Up his fiber intake with fresh fruits like apples (or 100 % juice), Kashi cereals, Fiber one cereals or the bars, etc. And plenty of water!!!! These are all things I do for myself and my 10yr old daughter because neither one of us are regular when it comes to the bathroom and it help out a great deal!!
If his diet isn't the problem, then you might have to do the embarrassment factor. Put him in pull up and tell him till he goes in the potty he has to wear them. My son all of a sudden (been fully potty trained for over a yr) decided to wait till the last minute to go pee in the middle of the night which caused him to pee himself. After 3 nights in a row I told him I would put baby diapers on him at bed time if he did it again. He didn't like that idea and hasn't wet himself for over a month!

If nothing works, then yes, take him to a specialist to be looked at. But please take him off the Miralax!! Bad enough it is only meant to be taken for a few weeks at a time and DR's put our children on it for years at a time!!

Good luck
S.

OK... Talk with the Preschool's Director -- that's just unacceptable and negligent, to send a child home with poop in his pants.

Work with your Preschool, and at home, to create a "standard" procedure to help the situation? For example, when he start's whining, stop the fun until he's tried 5-10 minutes to go poop. Maybe a special book or toy for only when he's pottying at home or in school?

Body functions are very important -- maybe a fun picture book to teach him how we all process food? Kids are really smart when you're straight-up about negative AND positive -- have you explained to him that you are medicating him?

Maybe a portable DVD in the potty to "reward the wait"? My son will do almost anything to watch TV:)

Our kids know we are a little "lazy" too -- my son will work me like bad playdoh until I put my "big girl" pants on and just do what he needs me to do. (Hahaha... do do....) It's hard on me but I need to teach him the "limits of living" -- and have a big breather when the tantrum's done:)

You should really try CALM for kids, it is a natural magnesium supplement powder that you mix with water and it tastes like orange (you can then mix it with juice and not even tell) as a more natural laxative...it is very effective and most people (including kids) are magnesium deficient anyway. Good luck with the potty issues.