Potty Training Backslide - Chicago,IL

Updated on August 21, 2007
L.W. asks from Chicago, IL
9 answers

I spent my Spring Break potting training my son. It went AMAZINGLY well. 3 days of 'training' and he hasn't had and accident on ME since. He randomly does on his dad, very rarely with my partner and at daycare. This has been life for 5 months.

Yesterday he decided it was a good idea to poop in his undies after he laid down for naptime and slept in it for 4 hours. It was gross and a huge MESS when he got up. She and I were both home and had taken him potty before lying down.

This morning the situation repeated itself. He was up at 7:30 and we took him to the potty and put the portable DVD player in his room so we could sleep a little more. When I got up at 9 he had pooped again.

I was furious; he knows better, he was awake fully, and we were 10 ft away. He likes to look at the poop and doesn’t seem to mind sitting in it. Nothing has changed in his routine, our work schedules, his daily activities, or what he is eating.

Please help!?!

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

You are doing really well for a 2 1/2 year old. My sons were potty trained when they were 3 1/2. It happened fast with my youngest but took a bit longer with my eldest. Sticker charts worked. Getting angry doesn't work. It just pushes them deeper into themselves and they end up berating themselves because of it. When it is time, he will do it himself. He is still very young.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the others that say that you were very lucky to have your child trained at 2 years old. Sadly, I have learned from experience that getting angry doesn't work. At that age they don't understand your anger. It just seems scary to them. I think the "pull-ups" idea was fantastic and you may wish to try it for naps and bedtime. I am concerned that you left a 2.5 year old alone for an hour and a half with just a DVD player for company. You sound like you really want to do the right thing for your little angel, so giving up a little sleep to supervise him ALL his waking hours may be just the thing to help him feel secure. Good luck and God Bless your family.

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B.F.

answers from Chicago on

HS teacher probally school is starting soon. Maybe He is thinking you will stay home? I think if you freak out and make a big deal of it He might keep on. I've read alot that kids do that when potty trained, just keep taking him to the bathroom like you do and hopefully He will stop asap. I 3 year old just potty trained I'm waiting for the backslide myself. Good luck.

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

My son did the exact same thing (although he was four). After about six months of no accidents, pooped in his pants on purpose. We took away his daily video when ne pooped in his pants. He was able to watch the video when he pooped in the potty. It took ONE time of taking away his video to stop the pooping in the pants. If you are pretty sure he is doing this on purpose (and it is not an accident), I would take something away when he makes a mess in his pants. Make sure he gets in back when he uses the potty. I think he was just testing me or trying to show me that he thought he was in control. Good luck.

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

My son who is 2.5 has been trained for awhile, but still doesn't always remember that he has to go potty. You just can't leave them alone for a long period of time, because if they don't have someone to remind them, they will just go where they stand. My son will tell me no he doesn't have to go, then have an accident if I don't push him to go when I know he needs to. My almost 4.5 year old daughter will forget to go, and just yesterday was telling me she needed to use the potty in the middle of an hour long car ride. Luckily, she can hold it a lot better than my son can :). Also, I would still use a pull up for night and nap time. I think some kids poop in their sleep(or almost sleep) because then the muscles are relaxed, and they aren't aware of pooping.

Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

I would suggest a reward system (sticker chart, treat, whatever) for every time he poops on the potty for a while, as a positive reinforcement. Then wean that back to something cooler for every day he goes without an accident. He may be doing it for any number of reasons, but if you can swap it over from a negative to a positive it will stop much sooner, IMO. Good luck.

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J.J.

answers from Chicago on

My son always does the accidents with me because he's mad at me for not paying enough attention to him. When he is with Dad his dad gets to spend all of his attention on him because he has him a limited amount of time. My son is smart enough to realize there is a difference but of course at 2 1/2 his reasoning skills are not capable of understanding why. I am surprised everyday at how much my son understands. Try asking him what's wrong. He might tell you why and he might not. Chances are there is something that is bothering him right now that your not thinking about. The only reason I realize why my son is doing what he is doing is because he is begging to spend more time with his dad and his dad won't take anymore time with him unless it is a special occasion.

I'm still trying to figure out how I am going to deal with this but I just try everything I can on different days. I still tell him what a big boy he is when he goes potty on the toilet but now he gets some kind of punishment for not going on the potty unless it was clearly an accident. His favorite character is spider man and the most effective is to take spidey underpants away from him for a couple of days. You just have to find that one thing that works for your little one. Good Luck!

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J.

answers from Chicago on

I don't know, but neither of my boys was potty-trained until age 3, so if your son was almost at 100% at age 2, I think you're doing pretty well.

When it comes down to it, their potty functions are one of the few things in life they control at that age. Don't try to force your will - force just creates resistance. Maybe you could try pullups for nap and sleep time for a while and he can "earn back" his big boy underwear. Also - 2.5 is kind of young to supervise himself for 1.5 hours awake in the morning, isn't it? I know every kid is different, but my now-3-year-old would have shaved the dog and tried to cook his own breakfast in the oven ;-) Maybe he's looking for attention.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I am not sure getting angry at him will help, he seems so young. I think maybe a natural consequence may work. When he has an accident make him (partially) responsible to help clean up. He needs to put the dirty clothes in the wash and wipe his body down to get clean etc. Then whatever activity he had planned will be delayed because he had to stop and clean up after having an accident. You could just explain that he would have more fun doing "blank" then cleaning up after having an accident. Of course it may not work but just another suggestion.

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