Potty Training Fear

Dear E.

You are doing good. When ever she is showing signs for pee or poop take her to the potty seat and you wait there with her. I just finished my 2and half year old. I also thought may be she will in diaper till 4. She used to do pee but hide under the table for poop. So as soon as I saw her under the table I used to rush her. I gave up what ever I was doing and paid total attention then.After doing like this for few days suddenly she told me she wants to do potty. We had a cheering potty seat that helped a lot. She learnt the cheer is a reward,so we didn't give her candy.Don't give up. She is showing signs so she will do.

If there is mishap I didn't scold much but made it a point to tell you need to tell mommy. When she is showing signs give her juice or water so it is easy to push.

Take Care and don't give up. She is much better than many kids. Give my hug to her. Tell her if she does potty there will be more hugs and kisses.

Love C.

I have 3 boys, and we used stickers and tattos. Each time they went potty on the potty, they picked either a sticker for their chart, or a tatto. Then they had 10 stickers in a row they got a little treat. It worked great for us. Just remember, she will only use the potty when she is ready. Best of luck!

This is very normal. She will go on the potty when she is ready, of coarse with the help and reminders from you and your husband:) There is a slight fear of loosing part of herself, esspecialy when pooping. Bribes help. A small piece of candy or something she values.
I am a preschool teacher, I have potty trained 1/2 of Grosse Pointe-it helps to have them in with a group because she'll want to go with the rest of her class. If you have any questions please feel free to call me at ###-###-####. Good luck, C.

You consistently tell her that the potty is where she does it. Point to the wrong places and tell her it isn't the place to go. Flood her with high fives, praise, whatever boosts her confidence and self esteem when she gets it right.
Fearful, no. Only 3, yes. Don't expect perfection at that age. This takes time and different lengths of time for different kids. This is part of being a parent:teaching, learning, and growing with your kid(s)

It does sound like she is fearful, or I should say, she is more comfortable relaxing to pee/poop when she has underwear or a diaper on. This is normal, she's spend nearly 3 years going in diapers right? ;)

I'd suggest doing an intensive training with her, where she eats lots of salty snacks and drinks lots of fluids. She'll have to go a lot and will have LOTS of accidents (practice), but she'll learn where to go when she has to. It can take several days, so block off your schedule to be home and not busy with ANYTHING. You'll need to watch her ALL the time. Don't ever put the diaper back on, not even for naps or at night. Remind her to tell you if she has to go (even if you say it all day long and think you're redundant) and when you see she is dancing, put her on the potty. Don't force her to sit for a long time, just until she says she's done. This will be on and off a LOT, but the point is to catch her in the act of peeing and put her on the potty each time, even if most of it is an accident on the floor (stick to your kitchen/bathrooms as much as possible). Don't put her on in a scheduled manner, only if she says she has to go, or her body is telling you she has to.

Keep positive and have lots of rewards like stickers and candy for when she gets even a drop of pee in the potty. Expect to go through 20-30 pair of underwear in one day. It will get better and better each day until accidents are occasional.

It took my daughter about 3 days to be potty trained for going pee, and longer for poop (but she has a very slow moving bowel so not a lot of opportunities to practice that). The does GREAT now. She was 26 months when we did the training.

Best wishes, you both can do this. She's ready and the longer you wait until you tackle the potty the harder it will be.

you can try rewards.. you would be surprised what a kids will do for an m&m..

but basically if they do not want to do it.. they will not.. the reward will sometimes motivate them.. lots of praise..

It might sounds a little harsh but I guilted my DD into using the potty. If she requested a diaper I told her how gross it was to still wear diapers and how I thought she wanted to be a big girl now. Also, if she pooped or peed wearing her underwear I let her stay in dirty panties for about 10 minutes just so she could feel how nasty they felt. If she peed on my floor rather than the toilet I had her get a towel and clean it up herself. My DD, like yours, KNEW when she had to go but was just being stubborn. She'd sit on the toilet and then go 3 seconds after she got off of it.

Also, the potty chair may or may not be a good idea. I don't know if you sit her on the big toilet now or what. My DD felt too squished on a potty chair and even the seat that goes on the regular toilet didn't work. She preferred the toilet by itself. So that's something to consider also. Find what makes her most comfortable, then she'll be more apt to go.

Once she started using the toilet, I offered nonstop praise. I even called grandma and grandpa so she could tell them too! Once she stopped diapers altogether she got to have a special day and pick a toy for herself. (we went to Chuck E. Cheese's) She still has accidents sometimes but they're few and far between.

E.,
My oldest, now almost 20, loved the camera lol...my mom found her in a corner one day...took her to the big girl potty took her pic and pinned it up behing the toilet....since then...its allllllllllll good :)))

If she had sensory issues, I would be willing to bet that it could be a noise thing with her. The potty has scary noises for a little kid!
I would start with promising not to flush the toilet until after she's washed her hands and left the bathroom. If that still doesn't work, try a few other things. For example, my son hated that the toilet seat was cold. You may need to keep your bathroom warmer, if possible. Also, if she doesn't like the sound of the pee hitting the water, try putting in a little toilet paper into the toilet before she goes to muffle the sound.
Good luck!!

My daughter (will be three in Nov) is doing pretty much the same thing. She was doing really well and then the last three days she's refusing to go on the potty. Our "solution" is that we've completely backed off although we reference the potty a lot and we've played her potty DVD a bunch. We ordered more DVD's, one specifically for girls and I read to her yesterday in the bathroom with her sitting on the potty, but the lid was down. We've also had her wandering about with no panties or pull up (which she's also been very reluctant to wear), but we've said she needs to use the potty if she's going to have nothing on. Two days ago she handed me a pull up that she'd opened up like a diaper and said it was a pull up diaper and wanted me to put it on like a diaper. We've concluded, rightly or wrongly, that she's just trying to have some control. Yesterday the wearing nothing process worked. She peed three times and pooped a little in th potty. She also peed a bunch and pooped twice in her pull up. We're obviously not there yet, but I think we're maybe getting back on track. Our thought has been this is a process and there will be steps forward and steps back. I'm trying not to worry too much about it. We've decided the last thing we're going to do is put pressure on her. We'll get there when we get there. Best of luck!

I know, I know they say not to bribe them - but hey if it isn't broken don't fix it. I had the same problem. I even had my neice who was potty trained come over & tried a peer pressure thing. No hope. I took my daughter outside in a dress no panties or anything on let her play & too the potty outside. It worked - for that day. LOL
She wanted a swing set sooooo bad. We told her if you want it you have to use the big girl potty. We took a Kmart ad & cut the pic of the swing set & put it at her eye level on the fridge - you know what, the next morning when I gave her a pull up to put on (because I had already quit changing her butt - she had to do it herself, I was hoping that would work. It didn't, however I didn't have to change her, she did it by herself)she said no mommy I don't want pull ups anymore - she had never had an accident - not even at night she is now 5.
It will work when she is ready. Good luck.

Buy a potty chair and keep it in which ever room she plays in the most; put it in front of the tv and if she's sitting to watch tv, have her sit on the potty w/o a pull up.

Something like this will work well http://www.target.com/Baby-Bjorn-BABYBJ%C3%96RN-Potty-Cha...

Also, try giving her rewards: if she pees, she gets an M&M, if she poos, she gets two ... you can also try putting her in regular panties; that eventually worked for my two; my son was harder, and my daughter was nearly potty trained (almost 2.5) but my grandmother watched her for a few days and didn't work with her and she stalled; currently working on it again. Also, if she goes to daycare, they will work with her on it; my son went to the Adventure Center last school year and will be going back, this time with his sister; in the room for 3 year olds, they won't let you bring diapers, only pullups because they work with potty training. Good luck!