Potty Training ~Please Help Me, PLEASE~

You sound like me with my son. I even asked the doctor if there was something wrong when he wasn't using the potty at 3 and a half. He told me that he wasn't going to go to kindergarten in diapers. I was stressed out because every other person's kid was potty trained. I finally just backed way off. Then one day I asked him if he wanted to wear underwear, and he said he did. He was trained after that. It was on his terms. He is still that way today. Good luck and don't sweat it.

well, when potty training first starts you ARE the one getting trained. it takes a while, esp for little boys. it took my little boy til he was 3.5! just stay consistent and give him a chance, he'll catch on. like my grandma said "no one ever went to kintergarden wearing diapers." :)

Hi! I'm sorry you're going through this. My son is now 7, but when he was three we went through a similar situation. Finally I watched a Dr. Phil show that gave some ideas, we tried them and they worked. My Husband and I planned to stay home all weekend to work on this - we called it the Naked weekend.

Starting early Saturday morning we took all of his clothes off and put the potty chair on some towels in the middle of the living room. We read some fun books about potty and made the whole weekend about this. We watched him very carefully and didn't let him be alone or behind anything that we couldn't see him. He wasn't happy at first - a few times he would start to go and we would rush him to the seat. There were a few messes on the carpet which we just did a basic cleaning on and called the carpet cleaning service on Monday to do a good job.

When he did get some in the potty we made a big deal about it - clapping, gaving him special treats to eat and I had put a few balloons in a closet the day before that he didn’t know about and brought them out! We made it like a party.

That night we put him in bed with regular underpants and a waterproof sheet. He didn’t end up going through the night, but if he would have our plan was not to change him until morning. I know that sounds really bad and it would have broken my heart, but that was the plan.

By the second day it was a little easier to get him to go in the potty, we still made a huge deal about it and my sister brought over a special toy for him as a congratulation gift for becoming such a big boy… By Sunday night the potty chair went into the bathroom (make sure you have one in every bathroom so there’s never a delay). We only had one other accident the next week and he’s been potty trained ever since.

Some kids you need to add a few days to this plan, but in most cases if the parents stay strong – it ends up working. It’s NOT Easy, but it worked for us. Good Luck!

Hi K.!

I knoe that this sounds strange, but back off. With the timer thing going on that is when he gets your full attention. He needs to decide whether he still wants to be in diapers or not. Make it his choice to go to the bathroom when he needs to go. Potty training can become a battle of the wills so quickly. Reverse psychology works to. When he makes messes in his pants, clean him up with no emotion. I hope I did not come off too mean, but this is what I did with my 3 year old and it worked. He was basically potty trained in a week at age 31/2 years.

L.

I read that you have done the stickers but just my input on what I did, I made a chart with the days of the week and bought the little round stickers and for evertime she went she got to put a sticker on that day she loved it. I would also suggest maybe a potty book and they have a ton of great childrens products for the bathroom like wipes, soap-they also have toilet targets. Good Luck!

Sounds like a tough one! It's hard, but I understand where you're coming from, by the time they're 3 their diapers are just too much like grown up bowels. It may be a mess, but have you tried putting him in underwear & having him clean himself up? You can put him in the tub to do it (to limit the area you have to clean later), but I have seen this work several stubborn potty trainers. I know kids are ready at different times, but at 3 they should be getting aware of their body functions & and be able to understand the concept. Good luck & it will happen, eventually!

Hi K. - My name is G.. I have written many stories for children about Toilet Training. I worked in Special Education for 30 + years. Take a look at my web site "autismsocialsteps.com" No I don't think he is autistic, these stories work for all children. I will print and mail to you any story you want about Toilet Training. Look under Table of Contents. We can even make a story just for him. Do you live in the St. Louis Area ? I live in Brentwood. Would love to help you. My email is ____@____.com me an email and I will give you my phone number. Sincerely, G.

Hi, K.. I am a big believer in patience in potty training and the motto "never let them see you sweat!" Kids will react to your reaction, and if they gets lots of attention for doing any behavior- positive or negative, the chances are the behavior will continue. I would not make a big deal of him telling you, and give him the control he wants he will let you know when he is ready. It is so frustrating- I know first hand with the preschoolers I potty train, but they will get to where they will just go on their own, but it will be on their own time schedule. Continue rewarding positive behavior, but ignore the negative, and I bet you see more of the results you are wanting. Good Luck!

I just had my son do the exact same thing!We are now in underwear for almost 3 weeks!Stop the reward everytime that he goes since he is going everytime you take him.Take away all the diapers and pull-ups except when he's sleeping or your n the go.I just let my son run around in a shirt and underwear while we were at home so it was easier for him to do it by himself.I even went as far to keep a potty chair in the living room.Continue to praise him when he goes.And don't worry about a timer.Ask him if he needs to go every so often and if you get a NO a couple times then say lets go try anyway!I took away the rewards everytime he went and went to one big reward.Think of something that would be a big deal to him maybe something he's been asking for awahile.With my son it was Alvin and the Chipmunks movie!After we rented it he was asking to watch it everyday.So I told him when he started wearing big boy underwear without wetting or pooping in them,we would go buy it.A couple other things you can do to encourage him is to put him in underwear of his favorite characters and if he wets or dirties them tell him oh no!Diego doesn't like to get wet,then he has to wear plain white underwear for the rest of the day.I know it can be very frustrating to clean underwear all day however make sure if he has an accident you change him into another pair of underwear.It's easy to get frustrated and change them into a pull-up when the have an accident but be consistant.Some people think if they wet or dirty their underwear that putting them in pull-ups the rest of the day is a punishment.It's not though!They would rather wear a pull-up that way if they go it doesn't get on them and it just invites them to be lazy.Don't under estimate how much he understands!Kids are smart and alot of times we fail to realize it!My son will be 3 in July and I didn't think he would really understand what I was telling him about getting all the way potty trained and we would go buy the movie but he did!Try not to get frustrated and NO matter how bad and often the accidents are stick to your guns!You know he can do it and so does he,you just need to give him a liitle push along!Oh and one more thing.And if your brave enough and it helps make him help clean himself up after accidents.

On the potty part of it, have you made it into a big game??? Is he trying to stand on a stool and pee "like daddy"? If so, try putting a piece of toilet paper in the bowl, and tell him it is a game to sink the battleship, and reward him heavily with praise when he sinks it. Then tell him can play anytime he likes but to play he has to tell you he has to go. It could work. It worked for my nephew.

My new husband that the same trouble with his son mostly just with pooping. Anyway, he was sooo concerned and the pediatrician to not begin to get concerned until at least 3 1/2 years old. Then talk to the pediatrician or more than to get different advice. But I find talking to professionals and also other parents is a good combo. Good luck!

just got over that, I just had to deal with the accidents, and let it happen after a while, he didn't like it. He pick up the poop and put it in the potty together. I have a great cleaner if you need, but it might take that.

Check out 3daypottytraining.com. I have it saved and would be happy to email it to you!! It worked great for us!

You are ready. He is not. Just like you couldn't make him walk at 3 months, you can't make him potty train now. Keep him in diapers until he is ready. Remember, this and eating are the only things he has control of in his life. The more you push, the more he will resist. That will only give you stress and give him control. Be laid back. Don't say anymore about it. One day he will just do it on his own terms. At that point it will be easy.

I had the same problem with several of my kids. I have found that if I let them run around with nothing on in that area it helps tremendously. If it was a girl, I put a dress on them and for a boy, a long shirt. Then I would ask them every so often if they needed to go to the bathroom. Since it is getting warmer, let them run around outside like this (preferably in an area that they can't be seen very well by others, and you will have less messes to clean up while they make the connection of what is going on with their bodies. Don't make it a battle because they can control it and win it. Make it a fun enjoyable "game" and reward them. I've used M&Ms or other small pieces of candy as a reward. If stickers work, then that is a better option. Make them feel grown up with verbal praise and just enjoy it.
Blessings,
P.

When it comes to Potty training, I think that remembering the old saying, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." is appropriate. I have 2 boys (20 and 13 now) and they both got this figured out in different time frames. I don't think that having a 3 year old that is not potty trained is at all out of the ordinary. Just keep talking about it in a positive way and keep trying every method you come across. You never know when he will "get it" but I promise he will. Keep in mind...how many kindergartners do you see that are still in diapers?

You sound like a really busy mom who is really ambitious. What lucky boy's they are to have a mom that is willing to look everywhere for answers!

Take care.

R.

Have you tried leaving him naked from the waist down around the house? I know it's a big risk for you but that is how I got my son to potty train. He never went on the floor but I knew the possibility. Your son doesn't want to give up the attention he gets when you have to clean him up and change him. I think my son is finally potty trained fully and he is 3 years and 1 month old now.
I know it is so hard and frustrating but you are doing fine. Relax and he will do it soon. My OB/GYN told me that his son was 4 before he was potty trained. One day your son will just do it and you will be so excited! It will happen. Hang in there!

I'm sure that you'll hear this alot but he will let you know when he's ready to 'train'. There are no kindergartner's that aren't potty trained. :) I have an almost 5 year old boy and we had issues as well. One thing that we purchased was something called the "Peter Potty" (you can find it online) - it's a miniature urinial and he loved going in that one. We also did a week of being naked and that helped a lot - I don't remember but maybe one accident. Since they don't have any undies to potty/poop in then they will usually run to the bathroom. Just a couple of ideas to help.
Good luck and be patient - it will happen.

I am mother of 1 3 1/2 yr old daughter. I stressed with my daughter that SHE was in control of potty training. I could guess when she might have to go potty or poop but told her once she learned to listen to her body, she would be able to tell me. We also rented a DVD from the library called "Potty Power". It focuses on all the things they can do themselves and points out they can use the bathroom all by themselves, too. It has catchy songs that she liked to sing. Keep in mind, my daughter was 3 1/2 yrs old before she decided she wanted to do it all by herself. We had been working with her on and off since about 2 yrs old. We also let her wear panties until she got them dirty or wet, then she had to switch to pull-ups or you could use diapers (they are cheaper and most kids know how to take them off by potty training age). She didn't get to wear panties again until the next morning. She made the comment about a week ago after we got done cleaning her up after a poopy incident that "That's the last time I'm going to go poopy in my pants" and she stuck to it. She was ready and she did it. Now, would I have liked to have her trained by 2 1/2 yrs instead? You bet, but they don't follow our time table. Be patient and encourage him in all that he does by himself and really stress the part about only HE can listen to his body. He only has that "secret power". Hang in there, he'll learn. Kids are smart, they just haven't been around as long as we have.

I have seriously been considering posting almost the exact same question! Boy do I feel ya! Only difference is that I have a girl who is not quite 3. I just keep telling myself that she will get it when she is ready. Somedays she goes without any problems with a few reminders and other days she is not interested at all. I know that physically she understands but mentally, she is just not there yet. We are making progress and that is the important thing. I have noticed that it becomes more important to her when she sees one of her friends going but then after a day or two of not being around them, she doesn't care anymore. So maybe you could arrange for his cousin to come over a couple days in a row to help with the encouragement or something. Maybe I will try that too! Good Luck! Your not alone in this battle.

The key word here is "he". LOL ! Sorry. It's no insult or anything. It's just a fact that some times little boys take a little longer than little girls to catch on. He isn't noticing the "urge" yet. Also, little boys tend to sometimes be "shy" about using the bathroom. They would rather go hide somewhere and potty in secret. Just about the time when I thought I was going to either go crazy, or remove my son's closet door so he couldn't hide in there any more when he pottied in his diaper (we didn't have "Pull-ups" in those days) he suddenly caught on and decided it was much nicer to leave that nasty stuff in the potty instead of wear it.
I understand why you want him trained, but the truth is, it may be a while yet. He WILL get it if you don't stress over it. Just praise the successes, and don't say a word about the failures. And believe it or not, you will actually miss these days in the future !

Hi K., Ok I understand you wanting to hurry the potty training along believe me I am working on my second and I just gave up yet again for the second time for a while. My first was easy, pretty much trained himself before he was 2.
I took a Child Development Association class about 5yrs ago when I was working with getting a early head start brought up in town and I remember very clearly talking of this subject and it has stuck with me sense. Only because it makes so much sense on what we do and not relizing what we are doing.
So what I am getting at here, is that it sounds to me that you have potty trained yourself and who ever else that when the timer goes off its time to take lil one to the potty. You are training him that I will come get you when its time to go potty, thats why he may feel he has no need to come get you he knows you will take him when its time. But any way just think about that we dont train our body to do something its just not ready to do it will let our body send out signals to our brain to inform us on our actions and needs. He will relize these signals only when he understands what that signal is telling him then he will surprise you all.
Other wise, forget it, just give it a wk or two, then just pick a morning soon as you guys get up talk with him about it and like I said let him decide.
Go get you another pack of cheap diapers, during the day ask him if he wants to wear his big boy pants, if not just tell him ok you let me now when you are ready. Like I said before I am on break two, my son was doing really good going potty for about a wk and then ya he just didn't want to any more he wanted a diaper on. But there are still days he will go to his dresser and ask for his big boy pants and I will lift him up so he can pick the ones he wants, and he will do good for a couple of hours befor an accident and then I again talk to him "its ok but we gotta go potty in big potty if we need to go pee, you going to pick out big boy pants" I will not mention a diaper, he will ask if he wants and only then will I do so.
Other wise, forget it, just give it a wk or two, then just pick a morning soon as you guys get up talk with him about it and like I said let him decide. I wouldn't worry about it too much if nothing changes around 4yrs then maybe talk with your ped.
Sorry for the long note but really please try to give up for little while and try again, but also please hide or throw that timmer out, ask any parents of teacher, wic program, most doc's thats training the parent not the child.
Good luck and keep me posted please.
Look forward to hearing your results later
MW

Try using Cheerios! You throw about six-ten cheerios in the potty/toilet & try to have him sink them by aiming & shooting. We know you can't sink cheerios but he doesn't:-). You might have Dad/another male show him how to do it & tell him let's go & sink the cheerios & before you know it he'll be going on his own & potty trained. Don't laugh because I've shared this with several moms on momasource & it's been a success! Good luck & God Bless!