Potty Training Questions

Updated on October 02, 2008
R.M. asks from Deland, FL
13 answers

My son is two and 8 months. He expressed to me that he wanted to use the potty like his older brother. I was very excited b/c we started training several months back and he was doing very well, but due to a constipation issue my doc said we needed to stop until he was better. We pretty much have the constipation under control now so I've been ready to train, just waiting on him to show intrest again. After wanting to sit on the potty the other night, we woke up the next morning and bought the big boy underwear (making a big deal) and began the process. For two whole days he was go every time I put him on the toilet, but never tell me when he had to go. He would run off and wet the carpet and his pants some where with out telling me. If I kept the timer set and took him every 15-30 min he was fine, but everytime I went over he would wet something. Do you think it's too soon? Should I have kept up the training? My other son trained himself in one day and Noah is just not getting it. What are your suggestions?
Thanks

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A.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Buy some of those plastic undies to put over the big boy undies so you don't have to clean the carpet too. They do help save the carpet and pants/shorts.

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

Consistancy is important. Don't keep stopping and starting. You started, so keep up with it. Every child is different-- you have to find whatever motivates him. Aiming at floating Cherios is fun! Stickers and MnMs worked for my kids

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A.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

It sounds like you are doing everything right. You recognize that if you take hime very 15-30 minutes, he stays dry and goes in the potty. This means he's willing to release his waste in the potty which is the biggest part to accomplish. Potty training is hard, dedicated work and parents who can stick with it, even if it means staying home for a week...or more, to establish a new routine, will have success. Your son is a little young, but seems intelligent and ready. Remember, you are starting a new routine and trying to get his brain to forget the way he has been pottying his entire life. It will take about 3-4 weeks of being dry to change his habits. Stick with it, give him LOTS of rewards. Get a chart to put stickers on and when he reaches a goal, he gets a prize. We used a felt piece of fbric with a pair of undies cut out of another piece and in the morning, we would put on clean underwear and put the felt underwear on the chart. Everytime he pottied, we would put a star or smiley face on the felt board in the bathroom, and every time the underwear were dry i would make a big deal about that, too. It's easy to forget that going potty in the toilet is one thing, but staying dry in another and deserves some praise. He isn't going to tell you he has to go until he decides that it is important to stay dry and that has to be realized on his own. At the end of the day, if he was dry all day, he got a prize, maybe a trip to the park, an ice cream, play- doh time, a favorite show, stickers, something that matters to him. Even staying dry to show daddy when he gets home and daddy promises to play bubbles with him when he comes home if he is still dry. Kids this age LOVE time with their parents, especially a working parent. Good Luck, it will take about 6 months before you can let your gaurd down and have a completely potty trained child.

Also, make a VERY special treat for poop, I used to give candy, if he pooped. There has to be a reward that is bigger than the consiquence. If he pooped in his pants after I gave an oppurtunity to go, I would act really disgusted and not angry at the child, but I made it VERY obvious that I did not like this poopy mess. I would wash my child in the bath, not a fun bath, but an abrupt, yucky, I don't like this, bath. They learned the alternative was candy, or an unpleasant mom and being dirty.

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

R., I too, have 3 children. My first two daughters were potty trained before their 2nd birthday. My third child, a boy is 2 years and 2 months and I've been potty training him since May. He's doing great. He lets me know when he has to go potty...as long as he is naked. If he is wearing cloth underpants, a pull up, or a pair of shorts with nothing on underneath, he will wet them. But, as long as he's naked, he lets me know. When out of the house, for example at church, he will let me know he has to go potty, too.

It is never too early to potty train. I have heard time and time again that parents must wait until the child lets us know. If we waited for our children to "let us know anything," we'd be waiting for a lifetime. Potty training a child will only work if the parent(s) are willing to be consistent. Potty training on and off will not yield positive results. It sends the message that this new task is not that important. Children know how to read these messages very, very well. The key to successful potty training is making it a ritual and being consistent with it. Just like we have bedtimes for our children, there must be a routine for potty training. For my children, I began by putting them on the toilet way before I began training them. At bathtime, I'd sit them on the toilet. I let them watch me use the toilet. I let them put tissue in the toilet and let them flush it away. Once I officially began potty training, it is very important to reward your child with something he will associate with using the toilet. My "rewards" have always been those Gerber gummy treats. After going potty on the toilet, they got only one gummy treat and for no other reason did those treats come out of the pantry. My son KNOWS that as soon as he goes potty, he is getting a treat and he runs to the kitchen and waits for his reward.

Keep at it...he will get the hang of it sooner than later. Just be consistent and DO reward him. He is almost 3 so he most certainly understands that you have expectations for him. Good luck.

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

when my son was 'ready' it was because he would know to poop in the toilet. peeing was something else altogether...
I had to TELL him to go all the time. He's 5 and I STILL have to TELL him to go sometimes!
Thank God he does not have poop accidents!!
but pee...this has taken some time...

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi, just throwing my 2 cents in... (sorry it's so long)
Sticker charts seem to work for some people.. but not for me.. I was too nauseous with baby #2 on the way to deal with one. What we did was immediate rewards. He went on the potty, he got to choose a lifesaver candy out of a ziploc bag filled with them. It didn't take all that long and once he got the hang of it.. he wouldn't even ask for the candy... he forgot all about it. I just kept the baggie on the kitchen counter (he could see it, but not reach it). When he used the potty, I got all excited for him and when he was done said "Okay, after your hands get all washed up come choose your candy!" He would spend a full minute (sometimes longer) considering his options about which color he wanted to have... LOL. My son was the same age as yours and I was about 5 or 6 months pregnant. He did a lot of adjusting during his 2nd year... new room, new bed (big boy bed), using the potty, etc.. His sister was born 3 weeks before his 3rd birthday. And he really didn't have any adjustment issues...
Just try to focus on the positives and successes and ignore the rest. Don't sigh and get frustrated when he messes up... just be matter of fact about it.. "Let's go get this cleaned up..." and let him help. Then remind him that if he makes it NEXT time, he can choose a candy... He doesn't have to think big picture of earning a certain number of stickers or anything.. instant candy! What could be more enticing???? And it isn't enough to harm them or ruin their diet... I mean... what is 2 or even 4 or 5 lifesavers a day? In no time at all he'll have forgotten the candy... or only remember to ask after he poops... what ONCE a day?...
He just needs the desire to put it in the potty... give him a reason to want to...
At his age, you really don't want to put him on the potty every 30 minutes.. he needs to learn to feel the urge. And trust me, if he gets candy for "going" in the potty... he'll be really aware of the urge !! At least for the first couple of days.. And then it just starts becoming a habit.
Just watch him if he is heavily involved in something: building with legos for an hour or watching a Disney movie or whatever, where he is very distracted by what he is doing. When that is the case, you might say to him.. "Remember, when you go in the potty, you get to choose a candy"... Don't make him go. Let him choose to think about it.. if he feels the urge, he can choose to stop what he's doing and go, and get a candy for his trouble.

The only times I would insist he go is if you are leaving the house (or going outside where he might not make it back inside in time if he were to suddenly feel the urge) and before naps/bed. Otherwise, let him decide whether he feels the urge.
Remember, your kids are different people. The same methods or routines may not work equally well for all of them.
And I'm sure you have thought of this, but just in case... try to keep him in elastic waisted clothing... that way HE is able to do everything easily to use the potty without help. My son was really into doing things for himself...
Best wishes to you...

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L.N.

answers from Gainesville on

Hang in there! You're doing fine. Set backs happen, and there will be lots of laundry for a little while. I found with all three of mine that by the third birthday we only needed diapers at night (with the very occasional mishap). Also, with that third birthday, your baby's babyhood is almost over, so enjoy!

L. D., mom of three

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K.W.

answers from Orlando on

Rachel,
I started putting my son on the potty before his bath at 18 months and he would occasionally go, but he never told me. Around 2 years tried taking him every 30 minutes with a timer and rewards/sticker chart--and he would go but still go in between. So I backed off...at 2 1/2 I put him in underpants, and he would just sit in his wet mess and still not tell me--after a week, I backed off again--completely, only putting him on the potty before his bath as he has always done. At 3, we told him "no more diapers/pull-ups" and I was determined to not go back. He had 3 accidents the first day. The second day only one and he started telling me he needed to go pee. We had one other "poop" accident a week later. And that was that--so my advice is, if he's not getting it after a week--back off and try again in a few months. Potty training does not need to be stressful for parent or child--and when timed right will go quickly.

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S.M.

answers from Miami on

Have you tried the book, "Potty Training in a Day?" I'm not sure that's the exact title; it sounds like maybe you have because your other child got the hang of it in one day. Please remember that all children are different; don't make the mistake of comparing your children to one another because that will create a bad atmosphere of competition and disharmony between the brothers. You want them to love each other, not hate each other.

I don't see anything wrong with continuing to train your son. He's not getting the hang of the timing, but he's not even three yet, so he's got no real awareness of time yet. He may not understand how to be aware of the feelings of bladder and bowel fullness. As the baby of the family, he may have a more dependent personality, whereas your older son seems to be more independent and trail-blazing.

I would continue the training, taking your younger son to the potty at regular intervals until he finally gets the awareness of the fullness sensation and then gains the control he needs. Also, remember that potty training is a HUGE change for a little one; he probably knows that if he becomes independent in this area, he will be giving up some of your attention and nurturing. He may not be ready to do that yet. I'm not saying that he is deliberately making messes, but he may be scared to take that step of independence and risk losing some of his beloved mom's attention. You might try giving him attention in other ways for other things, and that might reassure him that you aren't going to pay any less attention to him once he becomes more independent about his potty business.

Peace,
Syl

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S.H.

answers from Melbourne on

Just do not push him too much...otherwise he will not want to go. My boys were potty trained at 3 and they told when they were ready...I did not bought any pullups...just the big boy underwear and it was done. Even grandma tried, thinking that she was goign to be successful... but even grandma failed....LOL; they were not ready yet!
Good luck....

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M.D.

answers from Panama City on

Hey R.! Reading your story was like reading my own experience this past summer. My son will be 3 in November, and we had a time this past summer. I did everything you have said you are doing. All I can say is keep being consistant...keep doing what you're doing. One day my son just stopped going in his pants and used the potty everytime!! its like they just decide...."okay, I'm ready full time now". But, that's exactly how it happened. I kept putting him on the potty....being consistant...don't fret....you'll go through the underpants, the clothes, washing out stuff, but hang in there. It'll happen! Good luck.
M.

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Y.A.

answers from Miami on

Hi Rachael I think that is normal some kids learn faster than others you should keep taking him. My son took almost a month to get it but now he tells me when he needs to go. You can also give him whatever he likes the most when he goes. In my case I used to give my son Gummie Bears. You can buy him at Target a potty book that makes a sound like when you are flushing the toilet, it's really cool.

What I think helped him the most was a video on you tube that my son still loves. I played the video on my laptop and showed to him and after he watched the video a cuple of times he started going by himself. Here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9v-nKxH2NE

Another thing would be not to use diapers or undies while you are home that helps them to know and look at what happens if he doesn't go. I keept my son like that for 2 weeks, as much as I could and to go out I only put his shorts not underware. I used to take extra shorts with me. He had 3 accidents and that was it.

My son is also has constipation and that it's still an issue. He doesn't like to use the bathroom to do #2. I have to be sitting next to him until he is able to do it because if not he won't tell me since it's painfull for him.

What are you giving your little one for constipation?

Good Luck!

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M.L.

answers from Miami on

childavenue.com has some great printable potty charts. We would give our son a sticker for just sitting and "trying" to go. Then we only gave him a sticker when he went. He adapted just fine. Now at 24 months, he is completely in underwear. Once he started going consistently, he switched to Gerber training pants. They are just like the boys underwear but the crotch is a bit thicker.

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