H.W.
Hi A.,
My first question would have been to ask if your family had experienced any changes in the last few months... new caregivers, etc. But then another attraction popped into my head-- did this regression start around Christmas?
I'll tell you what I personally would do, and you can use whatever works for you. In my experience of working with kids over the last 19 years, I've learned that toileting *has to be the child's work*, and not ours. This means that other than providing support, we let the child work out some of the kinks in their own time, when they are ready.
I like the idea of taking her to the bathroom every 1-2 hours like clockwork. You are right on in not asking her IF she needs to go, but instead telling her to go use bathroom. That said, I personally would back off on the stickers and rewards. She was going just fine for a while before, right? I think stickers give it all way too much importance, and in and of themselves, can become too important. The 'reward' for using the toilet before and accident happens is staying dry.
Having her help clean up any pee is fine, just don't ask her to clean up any soiled items. This can be more fuss and actually traumatic for some kids. Do have her do what she can to help if there's more mess than she should be touching: she can still hold doors open for you or hold the paper towels, etc. Keeping her present for cleanup is a good idea.
My suggestion would be to keep getting her to the toilet, make sure not to go backward into pull-ups; if she asks for a diaper (which sometimes happens during regression) make sure it is a DIAPER, because there's often confusion around Pull-Ups 'not' being a diaper. If you have a cloth diaper to put her in, so she can still feel wet, this is optimal.
These regressions are hard to pinpoint in regard to duration. There are no two kids who are alike in anything. I have found that the more I made the regression the child's challenge to overcome, and the less emotionally involved the adults were, the more quickly the child could resolve it. When we begin stretching ourselves to accomodate 'fixing' their problem with our "adult tools" (rewards, punishments, discussions, etc.), the kids to tend to become more interested in interacting with our methods instead of their urge to go.
A nice, simple reminder might be "Do you know, it takes longer to change wet pants than it does to take a break and use the potty?"
Also, if you have multiple children present, sometimes kids are loathe to break off playing because they don't want another child to take their toys or take over what they were playing/building. At my preschool, we either set the desired toy on a shelf to 'save' for them until they've gone potty and washed their hands, or we use a light scarf/piece of fabric to cover their work area. The children know this is a signal for 'hands off, someone's working here' and they leave it alone. Kids at school are often reluctant to leave off playing too, so I send them to the bathroom when I need to, and offer the support of saving their toy/work, so we haven't had resistance to using the potty. And I do have the children change their wet clothes by themselves in the bathroom (I'll hold open the plastic bag to put their wet clothes in, because this is the trickiest part), so *they* are inconvenienced but I, more or less, am not.
As I said, this is their challenge to overcome. Good luck and I wish you plenty of patience (and emotional disengagement, because yes, it IS frustrating some days!) .
H.
