Potty Training Son Will Not Go Poop in the Toilet

My little cousin had the same issue when he was potty training... We made a song "We poo-poo in the pot-TAY!" (think the cha cha tune...) that we would sing after he went... The first time he did it we were all excited and were cha-cha-ing around the house singing this. After that he was always excited to use the toilet because everyone would sing and dance with him. :)

Normal.

Make sure though, that he does not get constipated.
This, can lead to actual medical problems.
We had to take our daughter to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist, for it, at that phase of pottying. She got constipated. Pooping IN a toilet... caused stress and anxiety in her.
Constipation causes pain, then the child won't want to go. At all. Then they do what is called "withholding' of their poop. NOT going at all. The bowels can get stretched out, or cause blockage or "Encopresis."
It took my daughter THREE months, to overcome it. AND per the Specialist, we had to give her prescribed things.
It is a 'physical' thing, as well as an 'emotion' based issue... because pooping/constipation causes pain. Which the child tries to avoid, by NOT pooping. For example.

Boys often get it later....

Don't force it.
He will get it.

How does the Daycare handle him per his poop accidents? This can also cause a problem or not, depending on how they handle it and him.

Pooping IN a toilet... is often the later phase of toileting. For my son, he actually sees it as a part of HIM... in the toilet. It freaked him out.

all the best,
Susan

Kids do, frequently, have a hard time with pooping in the toilet, even if peeing comes easily. For many children, it's helpful to treat it as an entirely different stage of training. It's not uncommon for kids to continue to ask for a diaper for pooping for several months after pee training is a success. I've seen this happen in several families, and it does not appear to confuse the child. They just know what will work for them.

For anyone raised in a culture that uses squat toilets, you'll find a general agreement that squatting helps the process along, and kids often tend to squat in their diapers.

The urges and sensations for peeing and pooping are different, sometimes even painful, and can be complicated by diarrhea or constipation, or swing from one to the other. It usually takes a lot longer to poop than to pee (my grandson gets pins and needles in his legs from the pressure of the toilet seat by the time he's done.) Some children are very regular, some might poop four times one day and then skip two days, and never know what to expect. So it's often much harder, and this isn't your son's fault.

And some kids develop fear of the potty, or the sensations, or are terrified when they see a "part of themselves" in the potty and see it flushed away. This fear is hard to reason away in a young child, but usually they outgrow it when their cognitive functions are better developed. Parents can sometimes help this by understanding that the fear is real, and perhaps cheerfully encouraging the child to flush when the parent has a bowel movement. And explanation of "when food goes in, poop must come out" can be useful.

Most developmental specialists suggest that children be allowed to approach this challenge at their own speed, with parents acting as coaches, personal assistants, and cheerleaders. Kids do take on the challenge when they are matured enough physically and emotionally. Then it becomes a positive process for the child, and they are as proud as they are with any other new skill. Many parents report that any stage of training can take from one day to a couple of weeks when the child is confident he can do it.

I was raised at a time when children were routinely trained before two – except, of course, for the "failures." It was often a forceful and punitive process for kids that young, and I have no fewer than 4 people (3 of them men) in my immediate circle of friends who have needed counseling to recover from the trauma and rage of their bathroom training. I've also heard many senior citizens report that their potty training, if they remember it, was a harsh and intimidating experience. (I'm curious about the outcomes of parenting techniques, so I tend to ask some pretty odd question.)

I'm grateful on behalf of children everywhere that opinions have shifted toward a more respectful and humane process.

I think this is normal. My daughter got used to going poop standing up an would freak out if I tried to make her sit on the toilet. Try having his favorite treat, like candy or cookies, on hand and tell him every time he poops he can have a treat. Make sure he only gets them after pooping. And maybe tell him if he goes poop on the toilet at daycare you will read him his favorite book or something he enjoys. Anything he really enjoys, use it to reward him.

Could your little one be having trouble with hard poop or constipation? Some kids will hold it in because it hurts so bad when they go.

I think the rewarding idea is good one...explain to your son that all of his business needs to go into the toilet and if he does it all then he gets a treat...here are some ideas that will help:

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/potty+training?utm_c...

Hi M. - I found that putting the potty in front of the TV for a show made my daughter relaxed enough to go. I know it is weird to have a potty in your living room but once it is established you can move it back.

This is typical. I just posted to another person going through this that the only thing I found helpful other than simple patience was to find some activity that's important enough to the child and let the child know that in order to participate in that activity a given day, he needs to first go poop in the potty. Don't make it like a punishment if he doesn't go. The one we did was a "natural consequence" type of thing. "If you don't go poop in the toilet, you might accidentally poop while you are in the wading pool. Since we can't have poop in our wading pool, you'll need to put your poop in the potty before you can get into the pool."

I told my son that "poo-poo and pee-pee are friends" and like to go be in the toilet together. He eventualy pooped in the toilet (it took time though) but we were patient and praised when he did it. When he did it in the diaper, I just said "Oh, you forgot! The poo-poo will be upset now, let's put it in the toilet, that's where it wants to be!" He got the idea eventualy.

My son did the same thing. He didn't poop in the toilet until he was almost 4 no matter what I did. For some reason, I am told this scares boys because it is a part of them and they apparently have a type of separation anxiety about it. When they're in a diaper, they can see it and watch what happens to it, but in a toilet it just disappears. I don't know if I agree or not, but that's what I heard. Good luck.

My son is acting the same way. I try and wait until he has to go about 15-30 after his breakfast when he is used to going in his diaper and it has worked a few times but I feel your frustration and understand completely what you are going through. I wish you luck and have no obvious answer to your question but I hope it makes you feel better that you are not alone. My son is 3 months from 3 so they are nearly the same age.

Good luck!!

Boys are a very interesting lot. They usually all go at their own speed and they will go-trust me, in their own time. If he is at Day Care though this should be an easier process. At my son's day care they took them all at the same time 3 times a day and my son got potty trained like that. Find out if they have a schedule and if they take them all at the same time. This really worked at our Day Care. Good luck! You are super close!! You will have a few set backs that will throw you for a loop but wait until you get to wiping!!! Yikes!!

My daughter did the exact same thing and I had heard the same as several stated below about the fear of part of themselves... The thing that really worked for my daughter was actually probably by accident. She was running around naked after her bath and all of a sudden needed to go... she wouldn't go on the floor and then she went on the potty. I'd say the next time you think he needs to go... if you're at home, strip him down and let him run! :-) And rewards are also great afterwards!