Potty Training Three-year-old Boy

I potty trained at 3 yrs, I used 1 jelly bean for a successful pee and 2 jelly beans for a successful #2, I used to build in a routine with it, we always go pee before we leave the house, when we come home, first thing in the morning I change them out of their diaper and go pee then underwear, before we go outside in the back yard, before we take a bath, take a nap.

I used to sit them on at these times and then in between they had an accident they learned from it and then they were going to the bathroom more independently by the routine and when they had to go. I only did the jelly beans for 1 month as they just wanted mostly praise after awhile and we brushed their teeth really good that month especially, I also sang a made up Pee Potty song. to celebrate which they loved and made them feel more proud of themselves. Good luck. consistency, rewards and praise is really key.

I have read some of the advice and it is good. My friend gave me a program to potty train in just two days. I would love to share it with you but it is easier to tell you about it than to write it out. You can call me if you would like. ###-###-####
It took my three year old less than 2 days and we were out of diapers (at night only) all together in about a month.

T.

My advice is to keep at it. He will get tired of being wet and he will get tired of having to stop whatever fun activity he's involved in to STOP and change his clothes and get cleaned up.

It takes practice for him to get used to the feeling that he "has to go". I told my guy that diapers were for night time only, that he was a big boy, etc. So every time he had an accident I calmly took him in and cleaned him up and whatnot. I just said to him, next time we'll use the potty.
He got tired of being changed and being wet or dirty. It took him one week for peeing and about a month for poo. (plus we had a sticker chart: two full weeks w/out wet accidents he could have a party. Pinata and 2 friends who brought underpants as gifts)

Sometimes when they get to a certain age, you have to also include punishment along with the praise/reward, etc. I would try and make sure that nothing else is interfering with this at all. Also, start making him try every 1/2 hour to every hour, and 15-20 minutes after every drink. Keep the fluids coming and keep him scheduled for the bathroom whether he goes or not. Set up a timer. My last boy would start to go on his own once he heard the timer and wouldn't wait for me anymore. Adjust the timer for longer periods as you see fit and as you see him progress. But, in the beginning - do it that often. You have to make this a habit and not an option. Do you let him ignore brushing his teeth or bathing? It's normally not an option! Treat the potty the same. Don't ask him if he needs to go; tell him it's time to go.

here is the secret... use boxer briefs in his size. he will pee or poop once or twice and them it will click that he needs to go to the potty to avoid a mess. workedfor us. he was done by 3. good luck to u!

Hi G.-

He's probably just not ready yet. My suggestion is to let him know that when he's ready, he's free to use the potty, but otherwise just let it go. Maybe have your older son and even your husband let him know when they are going to use it just so he recognizes that "the big boys" use the potty. Maybe he'll want to be like them. My son wasn't potty trained until the age of 4, but once he was ready it happened overnight.

Good Luck!
K.

He'll be ready before you know it, G.. My older boy (who is 8 now) didn't fully potty train till he was five! He was entering kindergarten and I just told him that he couldn't go if he was still going in his pants. He IMMEDIATELY stopped and has used the toilet ever since. He was just a tad spoiled and not ready (he has a bit of a learning disability as well). My younger boy potty trained at the age of three, mainly cuz he saw his brother going in the toilet and because he REALLY wanted to wear his new spongebob underwear! My daughter was easy street, using the toilet on her second birthday and never looking back. My point is, all kids are different, and three years old is not the end of the world for potty training. Its gonna be just fine....

I understand your frustration all to well. My four year old daughter finally became poo poo trained as we call it since she has peed in the potty for almost two years, but for some reason poop was a whole different ball park. First of all don't compare your child to the others at daycare, because it will only make you angry, and frustrated. When I started seeing my daughters friends become fully potty trained by two and three, I became desperate for her to be up to speed with them; and as a result I made a lot of mistakes. It didn't help that she is very spirited and strong willed, and me...not so patient. My first mistake was starting too early (20 months), my other mistakes came when I became frustrated with her lack of interest in pooping in the potty, and became angry at her ( mind you, I had been using all the positive juju and bribes for one year that many moms suggested here including advise from my friend whose kids were done training...the advise just didn't work with her personality). Sooo it took another year to figure out what motivated her enough to poop in the potty and not her underwear.
By the time she turned four we had enough of the poopy underwear and I thought I would soon have to jump off a cliff I was so distraught. One day in December I was at my dr.s who had a big aquarim with neat fish (one in particular) my daughter loved. She almost cried when we left...so the thought came to me: "will you poop in the potty for a fish?" To my suprise she said yes. She then pooped in the potty, got the fish, and then decided since she got the fish it was ok poop in the underwear...again. These messes where really bad and almost made us throw up! So we decided she was old enough and understood where she was suppose to poop, but simply didn't want to. Believe me, we made sure by asking if she was scared, and made sure she wasn't constipated by giving her miralax...we knew it was a power struggle...due to all our previous mistakes or whatever. We basically gave her an ultimatum... You can either poop in the potty and earn new fish for your tank or you can get a spanking when you poop in your underwear ( i wouldn't agree with this for a younger child and excluding true accidents) Well it only took three times for her to realize she wanted fish more than spankings. She has since gone poop in the potty, happily since then and is proud of herself. I'm not saying that you need to do what we did, or that this will even happen to you, but I just wanted you to know what worked for us with our four year old. I hope this helps in some way. Like one poster wrote: you just need to find a true motivator. Good luck.

Hi G.,
I feel your pain- I had a couple of boys that were that way also- It is winter time- just forget about it until the warmer months and he will probably take care of it himself. Some little boys just take longer than others so I would not make a big deal of it- it is much easier in the warmer months with little boys. Good luck
blessings

First, I would take him to the doctor to rule out any problems. I know they say that boys train slower, but I can’t imagine having to still change my daughter’s diapers. I feel for you.
Then if that checks out ok, and if he is wearing coton underpants, I would put him back in diapers, not pull ups. If he is in diapers, by him some underpants like daddy's, or like big brother's, or with his fav cartoon on it. Instead of cleaning them, toss them. He is also big enough to help clean up the mess he makes. (Of course you should clean up after his first attempt.) He is old enough to understand peer pressure. In this case, it could serve as a positive and driving stressor. My daughter learned literally overnight because she was competing with her cousin to train first. It was a positive stressor and it worked. When she was trained, she helped train her cousin.
Have you tried to see if your older son could help train him. Maybe he would listen to him and be able to give him some tips that you don’t know about. It is worth a try. Good luck. You’ve spent enough time dealing with diapers.

I started off with a timer and every 30 minutes I took him to the bathroom no if ands or buts. To my surprise he went everytime we went to the potty . When he started using the timer as his time to go I removed the timer and put him in his underwear. We are still potty training only been doing it since Jan. 2 but this is working and my son is a stubborn mule. I had to sit my husband down and tell him this is the way it is going to be cause my husband can be the softy around here. We have a 3rd boy oon the way and we do not need to be buying diapers anymore for our 3 year old and he has been way more helpful in the process. Also I made it known to my son we would be taking our time on the pooh part cause that was a concern of his I put a pull up on him to pooh! one thing and change at a time

G.,

Are you using real underwear, the thick cloth kind for potty-training? It take a lot of patience and you'll be doing a bunch of laundry, but there's something about it getting all over them that helps them want to go in the potty. I used to send about 6 sets of underwear and clothes to daycare each day. You could also make a habit of taking him to the potty every hour while he's training. If neither of these work, he's probably just not ready.

Good luck!
C.

your husband is right. and it doesn't matter about "all" the other kids. readiness comes at different times for different kids.

My son is 3 1/ 2 and I am just now in the midst of potty training. We finally got peeing down but the poop is still a huge problem. He can control it perfectly, but is scared out of his mind to sit on the toilet and do anything, he stands to pee.. The first day we started potty training, he held it all day and then when it was bath time, it never fails he pees the second he gets in the tub. I grabbed the little dispenser that comes in the potty seats, that you take out to clean.. As soon as he got into the bath, the warm water relaxed his muscles and he couldn't hold it, so I put the little potty container under him and the pee went right in there.. After that, he was peeing in what he calls the bucket... However, he will not pee in any other toilet besides the ones at home, I have to carry the bucket everywhere.. One step at a time.. ANyway, if your son seems to be able to control his bladder, then he is ready, if he can't then he is not. Try not and compare him to the other kids. As long as his daycare is ok with it, then don't pressure him.. Does he mind being wet? If he doesn't, then leave him in the wet pants as long as you can stand it and have him take the clothes off... He may need to realize he is in control of what he is doing... It is SO hard and so frustrating.. Hang in there, we are only half way there, and my son turns 4 in April.... Good luck...

G.,

I think that you just have to find the right motivation in order to get him to want to potty train. Each one of my four children were motivated by a different thing. My daughters were all potty trained at or before 2 years old and my one and only son was about 2 and 9 months.

The motivation for my oldest daughter was praise alone: "Yay, you wear big girl pants!". For my two younger daughters it was a special toy. For my son it was far more complicated. I tried lots of different ways to motivate him to want to use the potty without sounding desperate. I think you've made the right decision to take a break after an unsuccessful attempt. That's exactly what I had to do because I didn't want to make it a negative experience. The book and video Once Upon A Potty for boys was extremely helpful. I think he just needed more information about what was happening and what was expected. I'd continue to keep working with him and trying different things to motivate him as long as it remains a positive (that's what all the potty training books teach you anyway). Good luck!

When you say 'he still goes in his underpants', is he wearing cotton underwear or pull-ups? My daughter seemed to be lagging behind other kids in her class in regard to potty training; it was frustrating for me because she seemed so comparable with other developmental acheivements and abilities. So I finally walked in and showed her 20 pairs of princess panties that I had been saving for her and told her that I didn't know what to do with them since she kept going potty in her pull-ups... That was a turning point because she insisted on wearing her princess panties, did not want thepull-ups, etc. A few accidents (3, maybe 4 total) occurred over the next 2-3 weeks, but those helped her get more tuned in to going to the potty. Also, I had to be good about taking her to the bathroom every 90 minutes or I was setting her up for an accident. I've since realized that it was mostly my fault that it took so long to potty train her, that I approached it wrong. I had been keeping her in pull-ups, waiting for her to show success in going to the potty, wanting her to tell us that she had to go, before putting her in the panties. However as long as the pull-ups were on, she knew she didn't have to use the toilet... She had no interest and would just go in the pull-up because it was convenient and, well, she knew that is what you're suppose to do in diapers and pull-ups.
Perhaps if she had been in cotton underwear sooner, she may have potty-trained sooner...?

Now, we just use the pull-ups for nighttime sleeping.

Good luck.

What was his first potty training experience like and how are the daycare workers with him on potty training? Is he stressed? Also, is he a young 3 or an older 3?

If you're feeling pressure to have him already potty trained i'm sure he's feeling that pressure too. Potty training should be a positive experience for him. I'd let it go for a few months and let him take the lead. He will let you know when he's ready.

I have a friend whose daughter was picked on by the daycare teachers because she wasn't yet potty trained. She felt terrorized and it made potty training more difficult. When she moved out of that class she just started using the toilet by herself.

Maybe while you guys are at home let him go without any bottoms on(no pants, underwear or diaper). See if not having the security of something to "catch" it will remind him to go to the potty. It worked for my son and my neice. Good luck!!

Well, I fear we are ing the same boat....My little one will be three in April and he knows and lets me know after he has gone both...kind of frustrating...I have started to do something becasue it makes me feel accomplished and that is after every nap, and also in the morning, I take him in the bathroom to pee...developing muscle memory is important. A friend of mine said she would do that with her little girl at 18 months and she was potty trained no time flat...also, int he middle of the night, when you get up to pee, go get your little one and take him to the bathroom...Then put him right back to bed...he is holding now and will sleep more soundly with no pressure or wetness in the night. This will help to make sure that he will not have the bed wetting issue....Hope this works...Seems to be doing good even though daytime, he just seems to busy

Hi G.
When we trained our then-3 yr old boy, nothing worked until we took off his underpants! Going commando at home did the trick! For some strange reason he was fine with going in his pants but not on the floor. It's like he was much more aware of the problem if he could see it. We also planned not to go out much at all for a long weekend, and made regular visits to the potty (every hour). We also had lots of gummy worms on hand (his choice for a reward) then we got down to "business". hehe. We never shamed him,we just coached and encouraged and he was trained in a week.

Cheerios! My mom put Cheerios in the toilet for my little brother to have "target practice" - but he only had ammo when he his bladder was full. I don't know what she did for number 2...

HTH
K., mama to
Catherine, 5y
Samuel, 2y

Just take him to the potty 30 min. after meals or drinks. Don't let him run around with a sippy cup continuously. Let him drink all he will drink and take it away. He will ask when he is thirsty but won't say a thing about potty. So, go potty and you can have a drink!! Asking him or expecting him to go on his own isn't quite time. You train yourself to take him then he will get in the habit.......

I had 2 boys and we had to help mommy train my grandson, we trained her!!!

We just went through this with our little boy and one thing I've discovered is to remind them verbally of the warning signs that our bodies make when we are about to go...funny feeling in the tummy, gas. (even though he says he knows, it doesn't hurt to remind him) And then I take special time to watch the child's behavior and hustle him into the bathroom (like it or not) whenever I feel its been awhile since he's gone last. After a few days of not making significant accidents I trust that he doesn't need reminders and he now tells me when he needs to go, or just goes.
Because you did wait until 3 you might find the 2nd round to go better than the first, just keep being consistent with what you're doing and you'll be amazed soon at what trouble you thought this was. Good luck!

Dish soap in the toilet will allow him to make bubbles! After he gets that,. put the blue tablets in the tank, and when he pees, it may turn the water more greenish!

You are getting some good advice from the other Moms. My youngest was "ready" mentally around 2 1/2 but experienced a set back because his daycare teacher insisted on pull ups. DO NOT USE PULLUPS!!! We tried everything to get him to potty train and nothing worked. Finally after many accidents and the realization that it had become a power struggle. I was cleaning his bottom up and told him that if he wanted to be a baby that was fine he could wear baby diapers and be a baby. When he decided to be a big boy and wear big boy underwear to let me know and we would go to the store and he could pick out the kind of big boy underwear he wanted. After a couple of weeks of Mom and Dad not pushing guess what!! He started controlling himself, and once he could keep himself dry for a day we took a trip to Target and he picked out Mickey Mouse Clubhouse underwear!! I also picked up some vinyl pants to help for the inevitable accidents. After a couple of weeks of the vinyl pants he was done.

Three is such a hard age to deal with that the best thing to do sometimes is give them that permission they need to be a baby for a little longer. At least that was the way it worked really for all 3 of my boys. Of course my youngest is by far the most stubborn. Good luck to you!

G.,
I am a mom to 3 boys(23, 17 and 15) My youngest son was the hardest to train. He was just like your son.
First of all, pull ups do not work. My sons thought it was a diaper and they used it as such. I suggest regular cotton underwear and plastic pants to put over the top. This holds the "accidents" close to his bottom and it makes him more uncomfortable.
Secondly, It's "in one end and out the other".Place him on the potty immediately after meals.
Next,This one takes consistancy. You need to set up a schedule.Pay attention to the times when he does go potty and keep a note of it. Follow this for a few days and you should get an idea of when he needs to go. The first thing every morning, put him on a potty chair and make him sit there until he goes,you may want to give him a sippy cup and some toast (this worked for my son) then praise him like crazy. Then,continuously place him there throughout the day.
In my experience boys are harder to train and it takes patience and consistancy.Your son knows what he is doing. He's ready,barring any medical reason.
Good luck, P. N.

I'm a 67 y.o. mother of 4 and grandmother of 4. When my youngest was 2, I decided there must be an easy way out there to potty train and happened on the book "Potty-training in Less than a Day". It worked!!!! On his 2nd birthday, it was raining and we stayed home and did what the book said. By early afternoon he was going to the potty on his own and only once wet his pants after that. He even stayed dry at night. Even with that endorsement, neither of my daughters tried it with their kids, nor did my son who has kids. Their kids potty-trained rather well, within a few months.
Perhaps it won't work as well with kids who have already been introduced to different kinds of potty training, I don't know. It seems to me that it's worth giving it a try. You'll probably have to go on-line to Amazon to buy it or to a used book store. I know the book is still around.
Good luck, for I know that potty-training is a real hassle. Soon, peer pressure at day care may help you out, if the technique in the book doesn't. Don't worry, it's nothing mechanical, it just has the kid train a doll in a certain way and it only costs the amount of a doll capable of wetting.