Potty Training Trouble - Des Moines,IA

This common problem often has to do with flushing the poop down the toilet in front of him, which a child perceives as "killing" a part of her/himself.

Move the potty chair to another room away from the toilet. As he gets more comfortable he will poop there again. Then, don't flush it while he watches or listens - just close the lid and leave it there until he is distracted.

Read to him: Once Upon a Potty and Everybody Poops ~ both great books for toddlers who need reassurance around potty training.

If your son is constipated this will really hinder going poo on the potty. My son has been constipated since 9 months old (he's only 20 mths now, so we haven't started potty training). After trying lots of prune juice and other natural ways, fruits, etc. and lots of suppositories, screaming while pooping, I started him on Miralax. When he went in for his 15-mth well-check I told his pedi what I did and she was all for it, and said, "I'm a big fan of Miralax, because if children are constipated, you're setting yourself up for failure when it comes to potty training." I'm not saying your child needs Miralax, but try some of the other suggestions first - less milk, watered down juice, peaches, pears, prunes, or any of those juices (peach, pear, prune). I would definitely focus on the constipation part first. He might still have some accidents, but once he realize he's not having to strain, it should get better.

Sounds like you and I have/had very similar situations! A little history...my daughter has been potty trained since 18 months, rarely had accidents - she just really got the process. Then, around last Christmas (the month before she turned 2) she struggled with constipation. We ended up taking her to the doctor, b/c it seemed everything we did just backfired. We put her on a high fiber diet and lots of water. They put her on a high fiber diet and low dose of a laxative. Basically, this is what helped us get back on track:

*don't punish or react negatively or show frustration to pooping in pants (it's VERY hard, b/c no one wants to clean poop off of underwear day in and day out). i just calmly told her that when she feels that sensation she has to tell me and go on the toilet, it's yucky to go poopy in your pants, etc.

*explain that the new foods (and laxative, if you go that route) will help pooping not hurt anymore.

* get SUPER EXCITED for successes

* the doctor recommended retraining her by putting her on the potty after every meal. This is what I think started to get her back on track, b/c we talked a lot about how everyone has to poop and lots of people do it after they eat, etc. etc.

After awhile I think she just began to forget about how much it used to hurt and realized it was a normal routine.

I know this seems like common sense, but I thought I'd share because after awhile I got so frustrated not knowing what was the right tactic. I found that you just need to be consistent and they'll start to see it as routine and begin going on the toilet again.

High Fiber Foods:
* Fiber one Yogurt
* Naked and Bolthouse juices both make a juice that is high in fiber...it's the purple one.
* Fiber one granola bars (target sells their brand of these)
* Most fruits
* A lot of breads have a high fiber option available.
* Basically, I switched all her "usuals" to high fiber alternatives (raisin bran instead of rice crispies, etc.)

**The doctor also advised us to limit milk to three servings a day, as milk can be constipating.

Hope this helps!

My foster child had a tough time with hard poo and constipation. The Doc had us put her on Miralax, which is a non-prescription stool softener and it has totally worked. As an infant, I was putting 1/4 of an adult dose in her bottle once a day. It helped her comfort level right away, but it took a little over a month before we were able to stop using it altogether. I don't know if this will fix your problem, but it's worth a shot. Good luck!

T.

Dear K.,

It had similar trouble potty training my son. First of all- how long ago did he start giving you more trouble? [Did you start him AFTER your other son wass born?] It is very common for all toddlers to regress once another baby joins the family.
Boys tends to have great deal more trouble w/the "poo." Besides the fact that they [literally] tend to be less 'anal'than girls, perhaps it is because they are aware on some level that pee & poo come from two different places. [My daughter practically trained herself at 18 months!]

At 2 1/2 years old- don't despair. Be patient. see if putting on the pull ups isn't less stressful for him. [I remember asking my son "wouldn't you like to be a big boy? You can have superman underware!" To that he rerplied a quick "no!"
Are you using a portable potty?The ones with steps up to the 'real' potty are nice- but he likely needs help from you. He sounds very aware of what is going on- with a potty on his level- he could surprise y0u! In the end- it if you are stressed with the potty issue, he sees that & takes control.Relax!
For rewards: what have you tried? A rewards board near the potty would be nice. Try stars [stickers] or M&M's for each tie him goes... 1 for pee, 2 for poo.

I wrote someone earlier about this as well, but I would suggest looking into a book called "Toilet Training The Brazelton Way" by T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. So far for me this has been a very interesting book on the trainig issues. It focuses on how this is up to the child to accomplish, not the parent. For me, it's helped me relax on this issue with my son and now he's acutally making some small steps toward the training process. It's a fairly short book and an easy read, so it's not too much for a busy mom! It also covers some problems with toilet training such as accidents, bedwetting, consitpation, diarrhea, etc. Good luck!

It seems that the #2 always comes later. If he has to strain, maybe he's afraid to go. My nephew had the same problem with his #2 (constipation). I don't know exactly why, but for some reason having too much milk was his problem (they spoke to their Dr. on this). My brother said that they had to limit how much milk he could drink a day (2 or 3 cups). Then he had to have watered down juice, or just water. If my nephew complained, my brother and sister-in-law would just explain that if he drank too much milk, he would have an 'owie butt' and he understood. It worked for them. Maybe this could work for you too? Good luck to you.