Potty Training Twins

My son was 3 years and 8 months before he started pooping in the potty. He had been peeing months before he finally pooped. I sent him to a mom's day out program 2x a week and he was supposed to be fully potty trained. He would show up in his pull-up, which they allowed, and he would pee in the potty but never poop. I just always prayed he didn't have to poop while he was there... so I can empathize with being on a timeline!
But once he pooped the first time in the potty, in his mind potty training was over. He was ready to use the potty all the time. I can count on one hand how many accidents we've had in 1+ year.
In my case, there was no gradual potty training, or no quick fix to get him to understand it sooner. I do think with other children it's more of a gradual process, whereas my son was "one and done." I felt some pressure because I noticed a lot of kids his age were fully trained, and I questioned if he would ever get it. He did obviously, but it was on his timeline, not mine as I would have prefered. We tried a lot of things -- bribes, pick out your own underwear, we even did a complete potty party to encourage the process and none of it worked until in his mind he was ready to do it.
After he pooped, we went to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate that very night. This was a carrot I held out for what felt like eternity and he still talks about his "pooping party" at Chuck E Cheese.
Good luck!
J.

Well, I don't know how much you're on here, L., but it seems as if this is a question that comes up nearly once a week (am I right, ladies?). It is, apparently, a very common problem.
My son (no, it's not just girls- I thought it seemed to be more boys than girls) is 3.5 and refuses to poop on the potty as well. He does great with pee- goes all by himself when he needs to (accidents are rare). He has (a long time ago) gone poop maybe twice on the potty. I'm not sure if it's a control thing with him or fear. It's hard to tell, really. I know a lot of people say to just take away the pull-ups or diapers, but we tried that and he held it for 4 days and started getting sick and not eating. I know some children will hold until they get all compacted and it can be dangerous. I decided it was better to keep encouraging sitting down to poop but to let him have the diaper (they catch poop better than pull-ups, when the poops aren't hard)after he sits down if he didn't go (which he never does). It's frustrating, but I'm trying to let him do it in his own time because I don't want him getting sick again. He cries everytime you sit him on the potty- it's no fun. I'm sorry I don't have advice, except to say do what's best for your girls, not necessarily what worked well for others, because it's not what will work with your kids. I like the "poopy bear" idea, though- that's a new one! I will continue monitoring the responses here to see if there's one trick that works better than others. Where are the people that have used "3 day potty training"? How do you get 'em to poop in that 3 days (especially if your child can hold it that long)? (I've used extra fiber daily and had to use suppositories- neither works, necessarily, with a "bm-holder".)

My twin girls were just not ready at that age. I did not push it because I delivered another set of twins when they turned 3 and I know that causes regression, so I just waited til they were about 3.5 years. We had some of the same issues; what finally worked for me was that we went to WalMart picked out special toys; they picked out CareBears. I called them the poopy bears. When they went poopy in the potty, they got to keep and play with their bears; when they pooped in their pants the bear had to stay in the closet on a shelf. No harsh words, no discipline, that was just the nature of the bear. They would have relapses like you noted, but I would just reassure them they were big girls and i was sure they would go poopy in the potty again and get to have their bear - so then they would concentrate on it until they could get the bear. Eventually it stuck; one faster than the other. Having twins helped in that scenario because they kind of competed with each other. We had pull-ups only at night. We did have to clean a number of panties; especially when at the park; one just would "forget" or just did not want to stop playing. So you might stop for a while and give them a break and then introduce a special poopy toy. I know you have tried rewards before; but this one comes and goes and might be what it takes to encourage them to keep trying. good luck. it does get better.

Dear L.,

We had 2 children and then twins. I will say that the twins were much more difficult and took longer to train that the others. We had the problem that when one would have success, the other would quit. It see-sawed for a year or so. I think it had a lot to do with the praise heaped on the successful one.

I have read your other responses and the woman who suggested the Care Bear had an excellent idea. We used m&ms but if I had it to do over, I probably wouldn't have used a candy. The Care Bear being matter of fact takes the whole procedure to a different level. There are no accusations, just rewards.

I know it seems forever, but relax a little. They will be trained sometime before they go to school. That is really all that matters unless you have them in day care.

Best wishes to your success.

Hi L.,
I just had to giggle when I read your post because this is one of those situations that is all about perspective. What I mean by that is I have twin boys who will also be three on 6/16 and we haven't even started potty training yet so I would be thrilled if they were peeing only especially for the last year! LOL
Anyway, my daughter who is now nine sounds like your girls, peed early but wanted a diaper to poop. Honestly, I had to just one day say no more diaper. She held it for three days until she couldn't any more and it all fell right into place. I would do away with the pull ups altogether. After all, they are basically a pull on diaper so that's why doing in them makes such sense to your girls.
Best wishes to you guys, we'll be starting after the boys' birthday :-)

This just proves it even more that every child is different. My girls were a breeze, but my son seemed to take forever. One thing that I heard over and over again, was that when they are ready it will happen. This is true. We tried with my son for almost a year and finally one day it was there. When he was ready it only took 3 days. We were told not to use pull ups. It confuses them. We went straight from diapers to panties. It is more difficult on you with other very active children. We put them in panties and t-shirts. That was it and in 3 days they were trained. You might try taking them to the store and letting them pick out their own panties. Tell them that they get to wear them when the poop in the potty. Meanwhile, purchase some thick training pants and if they poop in their pants, wait just a few moments before you change them. They need to know that it is not a comfortable feeling and hopefully next time will try to get to the potty on time. I would also suggest that you try to take them to the potty around the time that you think they are ready to go. I had boy/girl twins so I consentrated on my daughter and then my son later. If you have 1 that you think might be more ready or willing, I would work with her first. Good Luck.

L.,
My boy twins where very easy to potty train. But when my quads came along I had the same problem as you. Are you putting them in pull ups. If so, I would recommend putting them in panties only. Also, it just took some time for my guys to finally start going poo in the potty. I think it was almost a year before we where fully potty trained. Good Luck! They will eventually get it.

D. T.

This is a control issue. Stop making a big deal about it. Reassure them that they can go in their pull-up when they need to. My son was the same way and when I stopped trying to convince him to poop in the potty, he finally decided that he wanted to go there to do his business. Don't expect it to happen immediately. You may still be months away from throwing out the pull-ups.

Pressuring toddlers to poop in the potty or at a certain time can create constipation. So stay relaxed and allow them to figure it out. Kids are great at observation and mimicking what they see people around them doing, so it won't be too long before they are demanding privacy in the bathroom!

At your next pediatrician visit, discuss your concerns if you still have them. He/She will be able to tell you if your daughters are on track.