Potty training...HELP! - Lake Charles,LA

Have you tried putting away the diaper and training pants and just using "big girl" underwear? That might help, because I think training pants (if you are talking about the disposable pull-ups) are too close to diapers, and she's already used to going in the diaper so it probably doesn't make sense to her to ask for the potty when she's wearing a diaper. If you switch to underwear and she seems to keep having accidents, she might not be completely ready yet....just keep trying, she'll get there eventually! :-)

I've learned the hard way that when they are ready they are ready and when they aren't they aren't. My daughter showed signs well over a year before she was potty trained. And I had the same frustrations as you. She would do great for awhile, then she wouldn't. And one day, it was like it just clicked for her and she disliked the idea of having an accident. I found the peer pressure factor to be the helper there. Once my daughter was around other kids that went potty, she wanted to do it too. Id just ease up off it, bc the stress is stressful for you both. When it's time, potty training will seem almost effortless.

I would say stop trying. Don't let potty training get you frustrated. The more frustrated you get, the harder potty training becomes. You daughter is definitely exhibiting the signs of being ready, but she is the one in CONTROL of this.
If she says she wants to go, still follow thru with taking her in and try but if she doesn't and then goes in a diaper, just be very non reactive about it, just like a normal day. If she goes in the potty, be super reactive and excited but no rewards.
My daughter was exactly like this at first too and around the exact same age. I am guessing your daughter is a pretty smart girl too - very verbal, etc.
Here is what we did...We talked about what going potty meant, how to do it, followed examples, sat on the toilet, went, didn't go, played games - etc, almost to the point I thought if I do this anymore I would go insane.I stopped immediately and instead, I let her make the choice. every day I asked her, "today do you want to wear panties or diapers?" I explained that diapers are for going potty like a baby and that was fine and panties are for kids who go potty on the toilet and if you choose panties, then you have to go on the potty, no diaper. That was it. Every day(for about 2 months)I asked her this same question with the same explaination and she told me diapers until one day she said panties. I reminded her what wearing panties meant and from the day on, she was potty trained(pee and poop). She made the choice, she was ready. Of course we had a few accidents, but they were accidents, not un-willingness to go and then having an accident. We probably had maybe about 5 accidents within about 6 months, so be prepared.
My daughter was not nighttime trained until about a year later(by 3). I didn't go pull-up free, until she was waking up in the night to go potty or completely dry for almost 2 months.
This may not work for you guys at all, but my daughter was all about being in control. if it was my choice, things didn't work...if it was her choice, then it worked. She is like that about many things, so I have just learned to give her options and choices that I am ok with, but let her feel she has control over.
Hang in there....it will happen, but it isn't worth pulling hairs over.

First she will feed off your frustration so don't let her know you care so much. I think nonchalance works better, which is not to say not to praise when she does go but don't turn it into an emotional battle.

Second--how quickly do you want to be done? If you want this done fast, then throw away or hide the diapers and use cloth training pants or the bare bottom method. If you don't care if it is more gradual--I'd still advise against diapers or pull ups just because they are confusing.

Third--does she have a regular BM schedule (like times that she generally goes or is it more random) Does she have constant access to drinks between meals by carrying around a sippy cup? If so--nix that so drinks are only for meals and snacks period.

Rewards are up to you--I'm not partial to them. My child and all my daycare kids did well with the incentive of getting to flush and having access to some interesting toys and books while trying to potty.

Does she watch you go? Try that--My kids all had a peer or in the case of my daughter me to watch.

Good luck!

PS: Our bathroom is upstairs so for me a photograph of the toilet near the play area has helped to cue the kids better. I also don't rely so much on when they say they need to go--I'll take them if they say so but I do take them at regular intervals and I don't ask them. Just tell her --potty time! Up we go. Make it part of your daily routine. Before and after naps, after meals and snacks (approx. 10-30 min. after depending on the age of the child)

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Don't let it get you so frustrated because then she feels the anxiety and stress. She knows what outcome she wants it is just trying to get her body and mind to function together. We all have those bad days. Take her to the store and let her pick our some big girl panties and make sure she realizes that cinderella does not want potty on her. Maybe you should get her to sit on the potty chair and relax. Maybe eating some cookies or drinking some water would help her relax. She is probably going to surprise you all of a sudden. Just be sure to praise her for all that she does. Maybe she can get a special book after a certain number of successful days.

I would just put her in underwear. We trained DS at 25 months. We just put him in underwear, told him that pee and poop go in the toilet (we did not use a potty (blech), we used the Baby Bjorn seat that fits the regular toilet) and took him to the bathroom often. We did read Tari Gomi's book 'Everyone Poops' a lot in the bathroom. We did not do rewards or punishment. We acted happy when he was happy he went in the toilet but did not use a lot of praise either - just matter of fact. Stick with it. It took us a little less than a week of frequent accidents and then maybe two more over the following 6 months.

We tried the naked all the time method first (for like 12 hours - he was perfectly happy to pee anywhere in our house). I think pull ups are a waste of time and money - kids use them just like diapers - because they really are just diapers.

It's exceedingly common for littles to seem to "get it" with a day or a few weeks of successful experiences. And of course Mommy is thinking things like "success; no more diapers; what a clever kid I've got; it's all uphill from here; I'm so proud!" etc.

And it's exceedingly common for kids to lose interest or to seem suddenly baffled by the whole process. This is most frequent in younger kids, or those who have had some big, upsetting change in their life, but it can happen to just about any child.

It's baffling from Mommy's point of view, and so discouraging. Parents are extremely reluctant to let a child "regress" and will often fight that with every tactic they can think of.

I personally think this is more likely to harm the process than help it. If we trust the child's first experimental successes, why shouldn't we support their whole process? Your daughter may genuinely be baffled by something about the process, or she may simply realize in some deep, genuine place in her little soul that she's just not quite ready to accept that long-term commitment to getting to the potty every time without accidents. She may need some time to reconsider the advantages of potty over diapers.

If she is sensing your dismay or tension, this can easily drive a bigger wedge between her and the potty. She probably doesn't 'think' about this so much as feel it, but she may be genuinely anxious about pleasing or disappointing you, and that would quite reasonably take her focus away from her bodily sensations. This process, for her, must be about her, not about you.

If I were in your shoes, I would soft-pedal the whole thing for a few weeks or even months, if that's what it takes. Assure your daughter that she's growing every day, and as soon as she's ready, she'll be able to use the potty. Wait for further leading from her that she wants to try again. And she will.

Meanwhile, keep all potty messages and education positive and upbeat, but don't be wildly enthusiastic in pushing it, or she will not be able to get her emotional legs under her. Too much parental eagerness tends to thwart children, no matter what it is they are trying to master. It takes inward focus to succeed with a new skill (and this is true for grownups, too!).

Here's a wonderful, informative website you might find helpful. It gives a few variations on"readiness" checklists, plus tips on various training strategies, the best ages to start them, and the advantages and disadvantages of each approach: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...