Pre-teen Girl Questions....

Hello,M. T

My daughter is 13 and not yet gone through all her changes. She started growing more hair on her legs at 8, then at 10 1/2 she started growing hair under her arms. I always planed on letting her shave whenever she needed, but never thought she would need to at 8 or 10, but kids started to notice so I had to think if I was not apposed to shaving, why shouldn't I allow her to shave when it was necessary. I don't know if my thoughts on this matter were helpful, but hope all goes well.
Sincerely, S.

It is very possible for her to be starting this young. I did have a couple of friends that started their periods by the time we were in the 4th grade. My friend's daughter just started three months before her 10th birthday. Most of the time it was when the girls started nearing that 100-pound mark, but not always. My oldest is only 7 and is already wanting to shave her legs. I told her not until she is in the 5th grade (only because that is when all of my friends started shaving theirs and I wasn't allowed to until 6th grade.) But I will be buying her Nair products instead of turning her loose with razors.
It's funny you mention the hormones in dairy products. My mother was just telling me yesterday about an article she read about the increased consumption of chicken. Chickens are given hormones to increase the breast meat in order to increase profits. That is one theory as to why the average bra size has increased from a 34B to a 36C over the last 20-30 years.

I'll speak from your daughters point of view. I was a competitive gymnast growing up and while I did not go through puberty until later, 14, I was shaving my legs in 5th grade. However, my mom helped me shave until she was confident that I could do it without cutting myself. Then she supervised me until I was probably 11-12. It is not uncommon for girls to start puberty at that age, and it has nothing to do with what they are eating, but rather genetics. Shaving really isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. Shaving will not make her look grown up to boys, it will not cause her to want to experiment with other things, as long as you set the boundaries ahead of time. I would recommend that as long as you supervise and teach her the correct and safe method, go for it.

My niece is 11 and has already started her period and is also shaving her legs. I say go ahead and let her do it. What harm could it do? I believe in picking your battles and this one seems very harmless especially if you have a girl night and shave your legs together so that she can see how its done : ) Maybe even give each other facials and make it a Mom and daughter bonding time.

Have fun!

Oh yes she is certainly pre-puberty. I started my period at 11 and started shaving my legs in 4th grade. I asked my mom and she said no but one day I just did it and she accepted it. I hate to break it to you but your little girl is growing up. HUGS!!!!

S.

My daughter was 12 when I let her start shaving. You know when they need deoderant. (you can't miss the smell) My guideline is this: When your daughter gets the underarm hair, then it's time to start shaving. Take her to the store and look over the available products. Both of you decide what would be best for her. Tell her what is good and what isn't.

Open communication will be a key factor in how bad puberty is for the both of you. My adolescent years were not exactly happy ones since my mother didn't even want to face them. To her, if you didn't talk about it, you didn't have to deal with it.

I've learned from this experience and try to talk to my daughter no matter the situation. I try to make sure she doesn't have any questions that go unanswered. This includes everything from grooming and hygiene to sex and boys. (Thanks the Gods she doesn't like boys yet!!) I let her know that there is plenty of time for her to grow and become the woman she's destined to be. I'm there to support her and help her through the growing process.

The two MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER:
1) Keep your sense of humor.
(if you can laugh about it, it won't seem as bad)
2) Remind her everyday that you love her fiercely.
(this is why sometimes you have to say "NO!")

Good luck and keep laughing!!
K.

Of all the things that my mother told me not to do that I wished I had listened to her and not try so much to be an adult that things that I knew more than she did at my tender age of 10. All the shaving ads, all the shavers by the check out stand. They make it so tempting. But if I knew then what I knew now about shaving I would have never done it or I would have totally waited until the enevitable (?). I don't know if you can tell her but, if you start too soon, the maintenance and up keep of the entire process does not balance with the result. Tell her as a young girl, she has a gift that most adult females wish they have now, fine tender body hair. Once you start shaving, the hair falicles will come back tougher and darker. Why in the world would she want that on herself. On top of that, there's not telling how her body will react to the shaving process. Her hair falicles could comeback as stubbles and there's no turning back after that. See if you can fine some pictures on the internet showing stubby hair folicles on someone's legs. How unattractive could that be. Let her know that no one is able to determine how her body will regrow hair. Just bc her friends have a good reaction, her body may not. And seriously, who in our adult right mind really enjoy shaving our legs and having to keep up with it as often as we do. Does anyone really stand there with a glorious smile on our face? She needs to be more confident in her body and not as influence by her friends. Its easy to write but you need to make her feel it more. If she does not think she is good enough now, and you have to admit that she's probably feeling a bit of that if she thinks she has to do the same things her friends to, then her confidence levels needs to be turned up another notch. Shaving is not fun, don't do it. Avoid it as long as you can. Hopefully if she's lucky she will not need to until she's in her late teens or early 20's. Good luck.

M., I understand what you are going through. My daughter is 11 and already has a period and wants acrylic nails. We had a bone density test done on her a couple of years ago, and because my daughter is over weigh her body thinks she is about 15 instead of eleven. We have to constantly remind her about hygeine also. You are not alone. You just have to deal with the task of conversations about her body and when things are suppose to happen with her body. It will get better, but stick to your decision no matter what. If you told her she needs wait, make her wait. She will live.
T.

Hi M.,

It sounds like your daughter is close to getting her period.
I was 10 years old and my daughter was 11 yrs old.

10 years old is really too young to start shaving in my opinion. We know that once she starts it, she'll have to keep it up!

I think we should be more aware of everything we come in contact with these days. There are chemicals in most products we're buying off the grocery store shelves that play havoc on
our bodies. It's not just in our food!

R.
http://R..fourpointwellness.com

I have an 11-yr-old step-daughter who is the same. I started my period at 11 years of age. I say let her shave and make it like a girls' night with one or two of your friends and their daughters! I did that with my mom and I plan on doing that with my daughter and step-daughters. Maybe do the waxing so the hair doesn't grow back so dark and coarse. I always felt if I had waxed instead of shaved my first time, it wouldn't be such a problem now. SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER, so it's your call.

Hi, M.! Well, I don't have a teen (mine's not even 2 yet) but I did want to share a couple of things.... Most importantly, be VERY careful about letting her use deoderant! If it has aluminum compounds in it, it may be dangerous, extended use has been linked to breast cancer. If she really needs it, I would suggest deoderant only, NOT antiperspirant... just think about it... if you keep the glands from clearing the toxins like they are supposed to, then where are they going?
Anyway, there are several options for deoderant only, that is aluminum free. If you want to know about some of them, just let me know.
Also, as for the shaving thing... hmmm, well, I started at 11 or 12, some, but as a redhead with fine hair, I really didn't need to... and I wish I had waited as long as I could! It does sound like she could definitely be entering puberty, but it could really stretch out, too.
Good luck! You sound quite blessed with your family!
A.

My 11 year old is going thru the same thing right now too. we have to force her to wear deodorant, she has the small pimples, etc. She has not inquired about shaving yet, but since she's going to middle school and will most likely have gym, I'm sure that it will come up soon. Good luck.

i have a boy... BUT...if they stink, let them use deodorant/antipers. anyone that has to be around her will be thankful. That said, I have to force my son..so if she is eager that is a good habit.

I remember shaving my legs for the first time in the 8th grade (my visitor came in the 7th). I wish I hadn't. I wonder if it would have stayed the blonde fine hair LOL!

If you are worried about her knicking herself, they make a cream that comes with a razor like thing- have you seen the commercial? Be warned Nair can be very bad for sensitive skin...I learned the hard way in a private area! I don't think I had any skin left!! HaHa!

I just know these kids are growing up too fast! I would have never thought my son would be this hairy at 12 LOL! I was thinking more like 14! Boy was I naive! Good luck!

A.
www.youravon.com/aprilhinton

My little cousin started her period this young. What her mother does is give her Nair for legs and underarms. She is 12 now. I plan on letting my daughters start by 10 or 11. You know girls are starting thier periods early than we did. I was 14 and now I hear of girls having their period's at 9.
It's your personal judgement for your daughter.
Hope this helps,
Leti

Hi M., I have a almost 10yr old little girl and dealing with the same things. I checked online for refreshers on puberty and such, it is a great tool for us. Puberty actually starts anytime around this age, the early signs such as changes in her body are the beginning. She may not start her period until 1-3yrs later. My little girl needed the deodorant also! She wants to shave too b/c others are talking about it too!! I assured her that when the time is right , we will but for now she is fine. I also explained about that the hair will grow back darker and coarser and gave the example of Daddy's face!! that worked! It is great that you have an open line of communication with her!