B.,
I'm so sorry that you are having to go thru this. I know you're in pain but please do yourself a favor and try NOT to have surgery. The spinal thing scares me as those spinal headaches are much more common than doctors let on and having your spine messed with is no small thing. Often there are herbal and natural remedies that people are unaware of until they have tried everything else. Have you tried:
*getting more B6 in your diet? Lack of it contributes to hemorrhoids in pregnancy and most pregnant women are deficient.
*Homeopathic remedy Hamamelis 30x
*applying grated, raw potato to ease swelling and pain
*applying Comfrey or Yellow Dock Root ointment to reduce swelling, stop bleeding and ease pain.
*inserted a peeled clove of garlic (which may be wrapped in one layer of gauze and oiled) into rectum overnight to minimize swelling (natural antibiotic action also)
*used a Plantain and Yarrow ointment to relieve pain immediately and to shrink hemorrhoids within a few days. (This particular salve has restored normalcy to some women who have been incapacitated for years.)
Eliminate even severely swollen, protruding and bleeding hemorrhoids with herbal sitz baths. Witch Hazel (not the liquid solution w/ alcohol--the dry herb) is the best herb for this but Plantain leaves, Comfrey root, White Oak bark, Sea Grape leaves/bark or other strong astringents may be substituted.
Prepare an infusion of the herb (make a tea), making 8 cups (4oz of one of the dried herbs above in a half gallon of boiling water, steeped for 8 hours). Strain the liquid from the herbs and pour it into a shallow basin or pan. Sit in it for 15 min at least twice a day. Don't worry about getting the hemorrhoid wet; the herbs are absorbed thru the skin and work their magic w/o direct contact. Most people experience pain relief with the first sitz bath, and the hemorrhoids often shrink and disappear w/in a few days. This may be repeated as often as you wish, using the same liquid over and over.
I got this info from a book called, "Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year" so I know the remedies are safe for pregnancy. This book helped me when nothing else did!
You can get these strange sounding herbs and concoctions at small health food stores and even some at Whole Foods. There are a few little health food stores in the area--email me if you need more info.
Blessings and I hope you feel better soon!
P.S. Hang in there if you experience stinging with the first 2 applications of any hemorrhoid treatment--it's actually a good indication that the treatment is working and that they are starting to shrink!