Breathe!
"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."
John Lennon
With my first pregnancy, I was crying and really upset for a long while, since I really never wanted kids - and then got 4 that I adore. Lots of us go through this! My friend was overwhelmed with 2 kids and found out she was pregnant with #3 and it took her 29 weeks to get over the anger with her husband who refused to get a vasectomy and she ALWAYS used birth control. At 31 weeks, she got an ultrasound and found out it was twins. I thought she was going to pass out. She birthed them at home 2 days before her EDD with each of weighing almost 8 pounds. She's a tiny thing and barely weighs 115 pounds. She has 4 kids now and a busy family life.
With baby #2, I was STUNNED and at week 10, I contracted Rubella. Yes, fear of congenital malformations was there. I took 6-10 Immuplex from Standard Process every single day from that day through the entire pregnancy. We use it for viruses and it works like a charm...and it's safe during pregnancy. Camu Camu is also for viruses, but not sure about it's safety during pregnancy.
Anyway, I figured this baby's body was going to do what it needed to do to heal properly, so I let it run it's course, since there is NOTHING an OB can do...but our bodies can do plenty with the right nutrition and mind frame.
I got massages every week throughout my pregnancy to keep me calm and happy, which is better than getting stuck with a needle and stressing me out with stupid tests that usually are wrong. I took real prenatal vitamins (New Chapter) no synthetic ones from the pharmacy and Nordic Naturals fish oil, as well as PB8 (probiotic). I also took a great CalMag.
I went 4.5 WEEKS past my EDD. Everyone was freaking out, but I figured that my first baby was 3 days early and this one's body needed some extra time to heal. He was born at home weighing 10 pounds 4oz without even a tear. He was perfect in every way. I was back to work 4 days later with him in tow, since I took time off before my EDD and he was so late, I had to get back to work to pay the bills.
He was due April 20th and showed up May 25th. He was a little grey the first 3 days, but each day he pinked up more and more. It just took his heart time to close up properly and I thank God that I let my body dictate rather than some doctor, as I KNOW he would have needed surgery if I had been induced a month earlier.
Do what you can and don't feel guilty for feeling they way you are. Honor where you are and realize that those feelings will change.