Pregnant & Worried About My Toddler Hurting the Baby

Updated on February 09, 2009
G.C. asks from Princeton, NJ
5 answers

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and have a toddler too. My doctor said not to pick up my daughter who weighs 30 lbs. or to let her climb on me, but it's really hard to avoid these things. You have to pick up your child to put her in the high chair or car seat, and I'd hate to push her away when she climbs up on my lap and leans on my bump even though I try to protect my bump. The reason you shouldn't lift anything heavy while pregnant is that your joints are loose so you could put your back out.

I wanted to see what you moms thought and what your experiences were, as different doctors have different opinions on so many things. If I use good form, keeping my back straight and bending at the knees, is it ok to keep picking her up? And could she hurt the baby by leaning or climbing on my bump? Thank you in advance.

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H.G.

answers from New York on

Don't worry about your kiddo leaning on your bump! As long as she's not kicking or hitting you, your baby is well protected. :) It's bonding time for them, anyways! You can keep her from climbing on your belly, by taking her hands and having her "pet" or gently pat the new baby while you cuddle.

Can you get a small stepping stool, to help her get into her high chair? I bet she'd love that! Plus, then you can just give her a boost in, rather than doing the full lift.

But honestly, if you're having a healthy pregnancy, it should be ok to lift her into her car seat, etc. Just be careful, and snuggle on the couch as much as possible so she doesn't notice that you don't pick her up as much. And use your legs, when lifting!

Good luck with that new baby!

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J.H.

answers from New York on

It sounds like you know exactly how to protect yourself and this baby. Good mechanics are useful. Also, there is no aversion to have the baby climb onto you and lean on your belly. There is no way she can hurt the baby. Extremely hard kicks or jabs to the belly can sometimes cause harm to the placenta, but these are rare. Please keep snuggling with your toddler while you can!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Hi Gloria,

What an exciting time for you. If you are having a healthy pregnancy then I don't think occasional lifting as long as you said you use your legs and not your back you should be fine. As far as her climbing on you I know there is probably not much lap left but try to put her on your lap or encourage her to lay down next to you on the couch for some close time so she doesn't feel left out. Babies are pretty protected in there so a few small leans on the bump i am sure is not going to hurt anything.

As far as jealousy when I was little (which was a loooong time ago) my mom brought home my baby brother. I was so bothered by him that I pinched him pretty hard. So my mom put a note on the door asking visitors to please make sure they visit with me first before they go to the baby. So as as a curious three year old I asked her what the note said and she told me that (now I am really dating myself) it was for the milkman telling him not to leave us any milk. Well the next morning we woke up and my mom went to the door and there was the milk sitting at the door. She said I looked up at her and said "I guess the milkman doesn't know how to read" Just thought I would share that my mom still tells it to everyone who brings home a new sibling. It's not a bad idea. So basically what I am saying is you don't want to start resentment before her new sibling comes home. So just be safe and use good judgment and I am sure you will be fine. Good luck to you and your wonderful family!!!

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K.G.

answers from Jamestown on

A lot of good advice here.

When I was preggers with my younger son, my older son was just a toddler (they are 16 months apart in age). I was to off my feet and pretty much was on bed rest the entire time... no lifting him or anything like that.
But, I had him sit with me on the couch... he'd also come hug my belly because I told him there was a baby in there and it was also his baby.
He was so excited about getting a baby that was also his.... and I just explained that the baby was soft so he could only touch me, and later the baby, softly. He picked up on that really fast and I never had any problems with him.

The baby is pretty protected in your belly, so your little one leaning on you shouldn't do anything.
I have a niece who used to use my sister's belly as a leaning post LOL.

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D.

answers from New York on

I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my whole life. Don't let your child climb in your or being able to pick them up. I'm sorry but that just isn't realistic. I always picked up my son. Do you have a history of back problems. And it's not like your daughter is going to be jumping on your stomach. For me, pregnancy was never about "I am this delicate flower" all of a sudden. It was life as usual...I was just rounder. If your having a normal pregancy there is no reason why you can't pick up your daughter or let her sit on your lap. Do what you feel is right, forget the doctors.

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