Hello~
My family is getting ready to move into our dream house at the beginning of next month. We have been talking about it with the kids (4 and 3), they have seen it and their rooms, we have taken them to play at the park in the area, etc. Both of our children thrive on routine. We are trying to plan ahead by planning for their rooms to be as put together as possible for the first night there (they will spend two days at gradnmas, which will give us time), and to have the rest of the house painted and as comfortable as possible. Is there anything that we should plan to do to help ease the transition? The last time we moved, our son was just over a year, and our daughter was not yet born. It was an easy transition, but with both of them being older we really want to look out for them as much as possible. Any advice would be much appreciated!
Thanks!
B
Thanks so much for the advice!
Windy-City: GREAT idea. We talked this morning as they were getting ready for school about what color they wanted their rooms to be. It was fun to see them get excited about it. We are going to the "paint store" this weekend for them to look at paint chips. The painters will be working on their rooms next week, so they will pick the colors, and then they will help me paint the playroom after we get moved in.
SO fun!
Pack their rooms last.
Unpack their rooms first.
Let them have "control" over something - John gets to pick the paint color for the bathroom and Jane gets to pick the towels for the kitchen. whatever - but let them have a hand in setting up their new surroundings.
Bearnstein Bears has a book about moving. That may help them understand what is happening.
They are little they will be fine. I would get a few night lights for in their rooms, the kitchen, bathrooms, hallways ect. This way it they wake up during the night they will be able to see and not bump into stuff. As long as you keep things like their bedding the same and their routine the same the adjustment will be fine.
This may seem obvious, but tell them that all of you (daddy, mommy, both kids, the family dog, etc) will be moving into the new house together. Every time we moved when one or both of our kids were that age, they would think at first that we were going to move (as in, my husband and I) and that somehow, they would have to try and live with whatever family moved into our old house! I was so surprised by that, but it's actually very common for kids to have that misperception. Also, tell them you will bring their toys. They will worry about that.
Other than that, kids are very resilient. Do your best to be super-organized with the move so everything goes smoothly (check out Flylady.net for some excellent advice on packing, etc). As long as you aren't stressed out, your kids won't be either.
Expect that they may be sad or confused, regardless of how much you try to prepare them. I suggest you don't put their rooms together as much as possible but allow them to help arrange them as much as possible so they will be comfortable, involve them as much as you can in making this their new home. Keep routines exactly the same, reassure them you are all together as a family, that will not change. Be ready for new behaviors, common after a big life change, even when it's a good one.
Just talk to them. You have a month, right? Talk to them. Let them know what is going on... don't wait and spring it on them with only a few days left to process it. They will need time to process it.
We moved from the only house my kids ever knew when they were JUST turned 4 and ALMOST turning 7. And they asked Sooooooooooo many questions. Many of them multiple times. They just needed time to process the whole thing.
We built our house, and lived in a rental for about 10 months during the construction process. They did not change schools with the move. But we visited the construction site every week (sometimes more often) and they were able to SEE it and the building process. And as it got closer and closer to being finished, they had more and more specific questions about the move: where is my bed going? Will my stuff go in that closet? ALL my stuff? What about the stuff in storage? Are we leaving it there? Can we visit the rental? Will we have all our movies? Will we have a yard? Can I walk to school? Will I be at the same school? How will we get our mail? Can we visit our old house? How will Nana know how to get here? and on and on and on and on....
Sometimes answers beget more questions.
Some days there were no questions. Some days it was the same 2 or 3 questions as the last 2 or 3 days before...
Just be matter of fact, explain you are moving to a new house to live in. Maybe explain some of the reasons you want to move there. My kids are very sentimental, and wanted to take pictures of our old house. That was where all their memories are from! I highly recommend doing this!
Take pics of ALL the rooms, the yard, the front of the house, the back of the house, the view of the neighbor's,etc. My son's favorite part of our old house was the closed staircase to the bonus room over the garage, where he rarely ever went. But he loved it.
Take pictures and make them a photo album. Maybe label it "our first house" or something.
ETA: Yes, if you are willing to let them choose their room color (retaining veto power, of course) then that is an excellent idea. We did that as well. I actually got a piece of posterboard and taped the paint chip cards that we were considering all over it (to make sure they went well together from room to room, and to put the 2 or 3 we were considering for one room together in one place while we slept on it/ thought about it).
My then 4 yr old daughter chose violet for her room (it actually looks like hot pink with just a little blue in it, so not hot hot hot) and my son chose barn red. Daughter took awhile to decide between that and a lavender color, but eventually she did decide.
It was also nice to let them HAVE a paint chip with their chosen color on it, in advance.
Be honest with them about the move. They are little and they will be a bit confused but they will adjust quickly and you are staying the same town right?
When my son was young he had two moves by the time he was 8. We were moving overseas and made the mistake of telling him early and he would go around telling people we were moving. By the time the movers showed up and put our packed home on the truck everyone was happy because we were tired of hearing him tell everyone we were moving.
There were a few weeks after we moved to Canada that he felt homesick but I showed him all his thing were in his room just a bit different but there. He wanted to talke to a friend so we called and talked to them and after a few weeks he settled in. So be patient to don't go overboard worrying about the what ifs because there will always be what ifs with moving and kids.
The other S.
I agree with giving them control of as much as you can. Little things even - "Do you think we should put the dresser here or here (one foot over)?" There is so much out of their control that this will help.
Also, soon after we moved in to our new house when my kids were 2 and 4, we made a videotape with them as the tour guides. They took great pride in describing their new house. I think it helped them as they put words to the things they wanted to show off. It is one of our favorite videos to this day as my daughter (4) was making up stuff as she described things.
Be sure they feel comfortable knowing where all the rooms are so they can find you quickly. Play a game seeing who can find you first or find a piece of furniture, etc. It will give them practice making their way around the house.
