Preschool or Not for 4 1/2 Year Old

Keep him home. I think most moms like the break away from their kids (or they just plane have to work) and that is the reason for the popularity of preschool. If you want to keep him home and you want to teach him the basics at home go for it. I know I plan to. I don't buy the advantages of preschool one bit. At this age they are better off with mom.

Yes, it is important for socialization(especially since you say he isn't social) as well as helping the separation anxiety he may experience when kindergarten rolls around. Find a part time program that is 2 mornings a week. There are plenty of programs that are based around the play model.
And it would be good for you too. You are going to have a terrible time when he goes to kindergarten all day because you are so wrapped up in him.

I was a kindergaten teacher for 6 years and I could ALWAYS tell which kids had not attended preschool. Sadly, these kids did not do nearly as well as the kids who had attended and fell behind early on. I would HIGHLY recommend sending your child to preschool. There are so many things they learn that prepare them for kinder. How to sit and listen in a group setting, following rules, standing in line, "school expectations" - and that is not even mentioning the academic benefits.
I would also be a bit concerned that he will have a tough time transitioning from you if he hasn't been given the opportunity to be independent yet.
Finally, it has been my experience that girls do tend to transition easier into school than boys.
Good luck with whatever decision you make!

I know you already have 53 answers (wow!) and it is now 3 months later but I just wanted to answer since most people say send him... I actually posted a very similar question in January when I was considering sending my son to a co-op. I wanted to send him for just a couple of days so he would get used to being away from me before he started kinder this fall. Well, turns out we couldn't afford the co-op or any other preschool so he stayed home with me. We go to mommy & me classes and lots of playdates. He plays baseball on a little league team and was just in a choir performance so he gets plenty of socialization. I don't want to send him to an all day kinder (and can't afford to send him to the private school his sister goes to anyway) so I will be home schooling him for kinder and we will see what happens for first grade. He will be 6 in late October. Like your son, my son is bright, knows letters, numbers, his name and is learning to read. He is super loving and sweet and helpful... unlike his sister who is 10 and in the 5th grade. He is more generous and kind than her.... I know it is because he has been with me since day 1. She came to us from a difficult background at 15 months old... we adopted her but I wasn't a stay at home mom then (didn't really know I should have been back then). Anyway, I have digressed! I just wanted you to know you are not alone in wanting to spend as much time as possible with your child. They grow so quickly and will be off to school before we know it and our time will be gone... continue to cherish it!

Great job!
By the way I have to mention that you said your neighbor was putting her son it to 'start learning his ABC's.' Your son already KNOWS his ABC's so no need to go to learn them! LOL.

I haven't read the other responses, but I feel the same way you do! I love being with my daughters, and i didn't feel the need to put them in preschool at 2 or 3 years old. My older one is 4.5 now, and i did put her in preschool this year (she will be in half day kindergarden next school year)... i thought it might be a nice way to work up to the 5 half days, then 5 full days in 1st grade.

She goes for 2.5 hours, 3 days a week and she LOVES it! She's very social though, so I knew she would. My mom today told me she wishes that my daughter was in school 5 days a week, and I was like "why?" 3 days is enough for a 4 year old if you ask me!!!

I do have a 3.5 year old too, so they have plenty of time to play with each other... i think one good thing for your son would be the time socializing with kids his own age, and learning to deal with other kids personalities, making friends.

The school I have my daughter in, and the other one will go to next year... is a co-operative... which means the parents are VERY involved. Each parent is scheduled as a 3rd adult in the class, once a month or so. The nice thing is, that since the other parents want to be involved as much as you, they probably think the same way as you about parenting, you know? I am no where near you, but you could look in your area to see if there is a similiar type preschool near you.

We had a parent teacher conference a few weeks ago, and i found that very informative. The teacher pointed out a few things we need to work on for kindergarden, and evaulated her on things I wouldn't have even thought of... like her balance, saying the fine motor skills get better as the gross motor skills do.
Anyway, I hope this helps!!!!!

BTW, i read an article a few years ago that was saying, having your child in preschool is not going to make them a valedictorian by any means, so don't let the other parents pressure you. Do what you think is right for your son! :-)

I think learneing to be away from mom is a very important lesson. You do not have to send him everyday, two days a week is fine. He may know all of his academic skills, but learning to be part of a class is so important. Most Kindergarten children already have had many experiences being seperated from mom. Your child will be at a disadvantage if kindergarten is his first experience without mom. Preschool curriculum is more likely to be centered aroung leaving M. and M. always coming back! Most likely this will not be taught in kindergarten since most of the kids already went through this in preschool.

No. I don't think you are wrong not sending him to preschool if you don't want to. My son is three and another boy is on the way. (p.s. I am a stay home mom, too) I do sent him to preschool in the morning and he loves it. Even though I do miss him, but with a new baby coming within two months and I started to notice he gets shy around people when he turned two. My husband and I are afraid that he won't able to social property with children in his age, especially with overprotective grandparents live nearby. Also there is another factor, we sent him to preschool is, we speak mostly Chinese at home, and we feel he doesn't get enough exposure of English enough. So we are a little concern that he might not able to socialized or even catch up with other children in his age, that's why we sent him to preschool. But in your case, you do a lot of activities with the local mommy and me classes and do a lot of projects with him at home and other children. I think that's great. Don't feel pressure to think you have to sent him to preschool, because your friend is sending hers. As long as you feel he is well adjust kid and there is no reason to worry not sending him to preschool.

It sounds like you are teaching him wonderfully educationally, but he will need to learn to be without you for periods of time throughout the day. You admit that you are overprotective (which there is nothing wrong with) and that you spend almost all waking and sleeping hours together (my son and I co-sleep too, so I will never judge someone on that). All of these things individually are just fine, but will make the transition for him into a school setting very difficult. Even with the Gymboree classes, you are still THERE with him. And this is the most important lesson that he is going to need to learn at this stage. Preschool does have some educational value for kids who need it or are a bit behind, but for most kids that age, its much more about building social skills and his needing to build his confidence in the friend and (acceptable) stranger department (TEACHERS). I do encourage you to look in to some form of preschool for him, even if just for a couple 1/2 days a week or so. I just want you to imagine for one minute how traumatic its going to be for your son otherwise on that very first day of kindergarten when he's being left for most likely the first time, has no option of leaving early if he needs time to ease into things and mom is leaving. Let that image guide you in making this decision. It will likely be hard for both of you to transition to a preschool setting, but will be beneficial to him in the end.

As much as I love being a mom, the day is going to come (before we're all ready) for our kids to have lives of their own. I love spending time with my kids. I do work and have had my kids in day care since they were 9 weeks old. In my heart, I know that I can not teach them everything they have already learned in Day Care.

At 3.5 years, our son is writing his name, knows all his letters/numbers. At 22 months, our daughter knows all her colors, shapes, etc.

But, the main reason I advocate it is the social interaction. Despite us being able to teach them manners, etc., they need to learn from other kids their ages.

I wouldn't suggest you put him in preschool full-time, but a few days/week will help prepare him for being in kindergarten. We have several friends/neighbors who are stay at home moms and all have their kids in preschool at least one 1/2 day/week. For some it's so they have time to themselves, for others it's because they want their kids to have the exposure to the structured environment.

One of the hardest things we have to do as parents is to let go and let them be independent. When my daughter was 10 weeks old, the day before our son's 2nd birthday, I was diagnosed with cancer. All of a sudden, the possibility of not being the one to teach them all of life's valuable lessons became incredibly real. Even though I'm well now, that could change any day. My point is that the greatest gift we can give our kids is learning how to be independent. It doesn't mean we can't spend great time with them and enjoy every minute of it, but they will thrive as adults if we can give them those tools as early as possible.

Good luck and enjoy every moment.

I think "wrong" or "right" is not really the issue. It sounds like you are doing a great job, but it is not jus about knowing things: ABC's etc. It is time for him to transition to school without you. I understand that this is tough, but that is exactly why it is good for your child. You will miss him, but it is part of the growing process. If you can afford it and there are no reasons for him not to go, it's time to give him some room to grow. I love this quote, "The only time our children are completely ours is in our stomachs. Once they are born, it is a process of letting go." He needs to begin the journey of finding his way without you being there. He can begin to make friends on the basis of who he clicks with and not on the basis of which mommy you like. Even if he goes 1/2 days or a few days a week, it will help him so much to transition for kindergarden. I see the difference in children who have gone and children who haven't. It is not as traumatic. Why do you not want to send him. Is it because you are nervous, will be lonely, worried about something. Look at that. It is completely your choice, but either way he will soon be going to school.

GOOD LUCK.

The world is not going to come to an end if you don't.
However, I think a couple of half days a week can be very good for the child - socially and academically.
Kindergarten is so different than it used to be (my kids are 17, 14, 7). They expect them to know so much coming in and expect them to learn so much that first year. If you can give your child a head start it will make it easier. Kindergarten teachers have enough on their plates trying to teach without having to deal with separation and socialization. Kids that have been in preschool have less problems in those areas. If you can afford it, I would suggest it.
Besides, it will also ease you into NOT having him around all the time! LOL ;)
Good luck.

i feel the same way... and my boy has picked up on alot already. I've decided he needs structure thats provided by another adult that aren't his parents, when we aren't around, cuz when K comes it will be daily and a hard adjustment. I do think its a fad cuz before it wasn't a big deal. I'm also very sad at the thought of not seeing him but 2 am.s is all we're gonna do. good luck on your decision.

He does not need to go to preschool. The most important thing to learn in preschool, in my opinion, is to learn the school process: taking turns, waiting, sitting and listening, socialization and respect. If you have your son in other activities (Sunday School counts) that allow him to socialize and understand these concepts, then you don't need to go through the stress of finding a preschool that meets your needs and you can save some money in the process.
I send my son to preschool because he is a very social kid and thrives on the interactions he gets at school. Plus it is his time that he doesn't have to share with his sister.
Every family is different and so are their needs. Don't feel pressured to send your child to preschool.

All the research out shows that children who attend preschool do better throughout school. In addition, it may be a good way for you and your son to begin separating from each other. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with him, but it might be good for both of you to begin having some time apart. It doesn't have to be much - my own daughter only goes to preschool 2 1/2 days a week, but I have seen tremendous growth both educationally and emotionally. My mother is a first grade teacher and she says she can always tell which children have been to preschool. I think this will make the adjustment to kindergarten so much easier for her, especially because our kindergarten is going to be full day. To go from being with mom all day everyday to school all day everyday would just be too hard of an adjustment. One other thing is that by attending preschool, he will start to build up his immune system as he is exposed to all the various kid type germs. It would be better to get that out of the way now, rather than when he starts kindergarten. You should follow your heart, but try to keep in mind what will be best for your son. I honestly believe preschool is very important and very beneficial.

Only you know what is the right decision for your child and your family. However, I would caution you to make sure that your decision is based on what's best for your little guy and not just your own desire. I know this is hard; I find myself having to check myself on this regularly.

I am in no way intending to be critical, but just want to make the impartial observation that your reasons for keeping your son at home sound predominantly like you not wanting to let him go, knowing that you enjoy his company and would miss him. And if you send him, you will. And it will be hard to do, but this is just the first of many times that you will have to let him go so that he can grow up into the fantastic, independent, self-reliant young man that you want him to become. I think that almost all of us mommies have had to park the car after a drop off and have a good cry.

I don't have the luxury of not sending my daughters to preschool, but if I did, I would still send them. It has made a remarkable difference in their maturity and ability to manage many situations (in addition to enhancing their learning). I found that they didn't get the same benefits from playgroups, music classes, etc. that they have gotten from being in a preschool environment.

Regardless of what you decide, accept your own decision and don't consider it to be wrong (no matter what other people tell you).

I agreed with you before - I am a stay at home mom and I did a lot of activities and classes with my 2 yr. old son and wanted to wait until he was at least 3 to send him to preschool. But he kept asking to go to school and I had just had another baby...so he started last September when he was 2 yrs., 8 months old and he dove right in! He loves it so much, he wants to go everyday (he goes 3 days a week for 3 hrs. each time.) I miss him when he is gone but he is gaining so much by being with other kids. You can do a lot with your son, but you can't be a 4 year old. I don't send my son to preschool to learn anything academic - it's all about playing and socializing, although he is learning new songs and it's helping him with letters. I encourage you to let go a little and let your son experience new things with kids his age. It's a lot different than going to a class with other kids for an hour - the kids don't really interact and play with each other in a gym class, art, music, or karate class, etc. My husband told me I would be holding our son back if I did not allow him to go to preschool. I agree with that now. You can not duplicate at home the socializing aspect that he would get at school. Good luck with your decision. :)

I am a fan of preschool. It helps to establish routine, separation from mom, listening and following directions, and other social and emotional skills (cooperation, sharing, taking turns, etc). Academics is minor to what's really accomplished in preschool. It's my opinion that children respond differently with parents present than when parents are away. I feel the process prepares the child for the demands (which are great) of kindergarten. There is very little time for a child to acclimate to kindergarten before the expectations of academics are raised. Although, I have seen many a successful child who has not attended preschool do very well in kindergarten. I've also seen many kids have a horrible time adjusting and it impacts not only them and the parent, but the entire class. I have seen numerous kids who are not socially ready for kindergarten have to repeat it. There was a boy in my son's class a few years ago who did well academically, but had trouble listening and following directions who ended up repeating kindergarten. Every child is different, but I feel if you have the ability to give your child every advantage, why not take advantage of it? Two half-days each week of preschool is enough to expose your child to the wonders of preschool!

Glad you asked this question... I wonder the same thing. My son is almost 3.5 years old. But he is not shy, he is social. But when I ask him about going to school, he says he does not want to go. Versus, my daughter at that same age, said she wanted to go and was very eager. So she went to preschool at almost 4 years old.

My son, though, is not fully potty trained, and many programs will not allow kids to attend unless they are FULLY potty trained. So that is my problem. AND also, preschool is expensive and we don't have the budget for it now.
Also though, like you, I feel so much "pressure" to have a child in preschool NOW... by others and what I see. So, this is added "pressure" to me as my son's Mom.

Usually, me and hubby like for our kids to have at least 1 year of preschool, BEFORE Kindergarten. Which is what my daughter had. But she was ready. She went to Kinder when she turned 5.It is good prep for the child, to have had experience in a "school" setting before Kindergarten.

My son, and I hear this with "boys".... is that they often benefit from starting later. They are attached to their Moms differently etc, and developmentally etc. So you might want to research that or see how you feel about it. It also depends on the child's "readiness."

My son, is very well-rounded and I teach him things at home. I still co-sleep with my son too, when he needs it. No biggie. I did that with my daughter too. No biggie.

I don't think you are "wrong"... and he knows "academics" which you teach him. So that is good. You are prepping him. My son is 3.5 years old, almost... and he knows 'academics" which is appropriate for his age.

I will be interested in the replies you get here... As I am going through the same thoughts.

All the best,
Susan

Sounds to me like you have already answered your own question(s) and that you are doing the right thing by chosing the path you already have... Why change what is clearly working very well for you and your son?
The whole socialization thing is so silly to me... How beautiful that you, as his Mom, get to choose, at this point in his life, the type of socialization you want him exposed to. Not all 'socialization' in pre-school or any level of traditional/institutionalized schooling is necesarilly the best. I say this as a credentialed teacher that is taking a leave of absence from work to home school my own children.
Follow your gut instincts. They sound pretty darn solid and smart to me.
K.

Dear Mom,

I don't think you are wrong. Your child does not have to go to a P-school because other moms send theirs to a P-school. This is not just about the child being better academically prepared or not. It sounds that your little one is learning a lot with you,and he feels well being with you. I think every mom has different reasons to send the kids to a P-school, while ones send them because of socialization and a learning experience, others send them because they are working or just need "me" time. Each reason is totally valid. You also mentioned that your child have participated in Gymboree, and other activities, so I don't think he is lacking any type or "social activity" or a good experience sharing with other kids. I didn't send my older one to a pre-school, but he went directly to Kindergarten, and he did awesome. Like you, I taught him many things to help him to be prepared, and he was academically and socially well prepared. I also enrolled him in different activities for him to learn to be with other children, and he was fine. I have, too, another little one almost 4, to whom I have not sent him to P-school, because I don't have to. He is learning at home with mom, dad, and his brother. He is attending to playgroups, he goes to the pool, the park, he has friends and he spends time with them. He participates in different activities as well, and he likes being with mommy H.. Either way, I may or may not send him to P-school.
Dear Mom, this is your decision and you know your kid better, follow your instincts and your ideas, accept ideas and suggestions but that doesn't mean you have to do the same as other moms do. To feel in peace with yourself, the best you can do is try sometimes, and see what happens. Kids learn in different ways and from different people, and they get use to everything. Also, as every home is a world apart, every kid is a different little world. Remember, you don't have to, you do what you think is best for you, your kids and your family.
Don't worry, be happy!!!
Alejandra

First off, I don't think that you are WRONG for not sending him. I believe it's a parent's right to choose for their own child/children.

Secondly, it sounds like you are a great teacher for your son. Kudos to you for being so dilligent in teaching him so much already.

Third, I think preschool is an important step for families who can afford to send their children. It gives them a head start on curriculum, following rules, socializing and learning to be away from mom and dad.

That all said, it sounds to me like your son can benefit from preschool, mostly because, as you mentioned, he really is shy and isn't used to being away from you. Not only will preschool help socialize him with other kids, but it will show him that he NEEDS to make friends for himself, learn how to share with other kids, and basically just be a 4 1/2 yr old little kid with other kids.

It sounds like your son is definitely ahead of the curve academically compared to most 4 1/2 yr olds I've seen. I can't tell you how many friends and families tell me that little boys are so behind (girls) academically. I have two girls and one baby boy now and it seems EVERYONE tells me how "slow" little boys are to take interest in reading, writing, and overall academics. So great job Mom!

Because of that tho, I would suggest you find a preschool that suits your son's academic needs. I think if you just follow your friend/neighbor into the same preschool she's sending your child, both you and your son may be very disappointed. Many of the 4/5s programs focus on a "letter of the day/week", along with "themes" like snow, hygiene, etc. and holidays, like Halloween and Valentines Day. Your son will have the chance to get dirty doing arts n crafts, science and "field trips". The only problem is that your son may feel "bored" academically...not that he won't learn stuff, but that there won't be a lot new if he already knows his letters and numbers. (You didn't say if he writes them? I know that IS part of preschool, not only letter recognition, but sounds, writing and learning words that start with those letters, plus arts and crafts related to the letter.)

I think one of the best places to "start" looking is a local preschool. The keys for you will be to have him make friends that he may go to kindergarten with, so his friendships transfers to next year. Also, "interview" the preschool director to find out what their program offers.

So, I'd say look into programs. It's better to ease him into a program that's a couple of days a week before you send him off to kindergarten everyday.

I think it is important to understand all of the things preschool does for your child. Learning to take turns and stand in line is part of it. Learning about taking directions from other adults is part of it. Learning how to be social while away from his comfort zone is also very important.
I think that preschool is not crucial. I have 8 children, 4 went and 4 didn't. I own a childcare center and preschool and I watch children every day who benefit. I also see children who enjoy it but would be fine without it as well.
Maybe you should find one that is a couple of hours a couple of days a week and consider it "me time".

I'd have to say that you're doing wonderfully. Don't put him in pre-school if you don't feel like it. Also, don't be "pushed" by any other Moms. By your description, your child seems like a wonderful little person who is academically beyond most children his age. Allowing him to sleep with you is making him feel secure in my opinion. He won't always be the tiny guy he is now, why not enjoy him all you can in every possible awesome way. =)

Well you already have 39 answers so what can I add? My only idea is that I think it would be fine to wait until the summer before kindergarten, or even the month before, just to get some practice being away from you in a gentler setting. The kindergarten drop off is very abrupt - you line your little one up with the other kids, kiss and wave goodbye, and the teacher takes them in the class (at least that's how it was for us). And the moms and dads stand outside and get teary-eyed. At preschool, you can stay awhile, you can come back in one hour the first day, two hours the second day, etc. Good luck!

.

For me, it was never about academics. Different preschools have different ideas on things. For me it was socialization. and more importantly to learn structure/rules from a different adult. Kindergarten is VERY regimented now. Your son will need to sit when he is told and sit where he is told. Neither of my sons had any problems transitioning to kinder. But, you aren't going to hurt your child keeping him at hiome. on another note, there is a statistic about kids that go to preschool succeed better in life. Statistics can always be interpreted for anyones benefit.

Wow. Your personal lifestyle choices couldn't be more opposite from mine if you tried! :) That being said, though, you are not WRONG for not wanting to send him to pre-school. It is not a required school level, and you don't seem to be neglecting his pre-education needs. Personally, I think pre-school is a good thing. But, this is a decision you need to make for yourself.

It sounds like you are a very devoted parent. You could try sending your son to preschool and just see how it goes. (Does he get anything out of it) There may be co-op types that allow more parental involvement.
If you do not plan to home school...you may want your son to have a "standard" classroom experience before entering public kindergarten. Teachers there are SO used to kids raised in "collectives" (daycare/preschool) that they do not really want to deal with a child new to school organization and routine.
But even if you don't do any pre-school, the transition will be survivable. Public kindergarten can't just throw a kid out because he makes the teacher uncomfortable. You know your son well..and ca help him over the bumps.

You said your son is unlike your daughter who is very social. School is a social setting. I think a parent participation preschool is a happy medium. I am a (second grade) teacher next to the kinder classrooms and the beginning of the year is so hard cause the kids flip out and I can hear them crying usually because they are not use to being away from their parents. I taught a pre-k class one summer and I had one girl who just cried and cried for the first little bit. It helped break her into the school setting because when she started kindergarten she was not so scared. Good luck!

You are the mom, you get to decide! You have already been through one success story, so why doubt yourself? Other people's comments come from their own situations. For my child, preschool was a really good thing, she had major attachment issues to me, and having that separation time was very good. The major thing that she learned in preschool was that she could separate from mommy and be successful and have friends and stand on her own two feet. I doubted it every day I dropped her off, but she really blossomed and going to kindergarten was a breeze. All I can say was that is was good for me, but staying home with me would have been good, too. You already know the right answer for you.

I think you know what is best for YOUR son. It sounds like he is doing GREAT. My daughter is very much the same way. I never planned on sending her to preschool. However she craved independence. So i send her to tiny tots through our city. The do some basic numbers and letters (which yeah she already knows) but they also do a craft everyday for the season. She goes 3 days a week for 2 hours and LOVES it. She was so excited because her teacher said that when all the kids are 5 they will get to kindergarten everyday.
If your son is shy you may want to try getting him in an activity ANY activity where you are not right there. If it is preschool great if it is something else fine. Not all kids NEED preschool. I wouldn't worry about it. But if you think the transition into K will be a little traumatic you may want to try to ease him in. Good luck.

I feel much the same way you do as far as wanting to keep my son with me as much as possible. I feel that he has the rest of his life to be in school, to make friends whose parents I don't know, etc. But at the same time, I have friends who teach kindergarten, and they tell me that they can definitely tell which of their students went to preschool and which ones didn't.

So our tentative plan is to start our son a couple days a week a year before kindergarten just to give him exposure to the structure of school and to help him learn how to take instruction from someone other than me. Also, a friend of mine with older children told me that before school is really the time for them to work on their social skills. After they start kindergarten, there is such an emphasis on the academics because of all the testing; there simply isn't the time to make sure that each child learns to "share the shovel," so to speak.

Those are our reasons, but of course, the ultimate decision is up to you. I would caution against using your daughter's experience as comparison. Every child is different, and she sounds like she has a much different temperament than your son. I like the idea that someone brought up of trying out the preschool to see how he and you like it. You can always pull him if you don't find it's working out.

Good luck!

Jae

I think you have already made up your mind, so why even ask us??! Really, do what you want, you are his mom & know what is best for him. It sounds like you are a great teacher and already doing some play dates/gymboree classes for social interaction. I think you are fine, enjoy the little time before he starts kindergarden, after that he will be in school for 12 more years!
With all that said, I do have my 3 1/2 year old in full time preschool, only because i work full time. She has learned a LOT of great things that I could of never teached her, but that is me, it sounds like you have already taught your son a lot of stuff.
Don't be pressured into preschool, just because "everyone else is doint it"... do what you want & whats best for you son. enjoy!

I would say it all depends on how your son would function in kindergarten. They no longer teach ABC's, they expect kids to go in knowing all of the basics. Preschool helps teach them the school routine so they can go with the flow come kindergarten (where they move fast) and not get lost or confused in the shuffle. Volunteering in my sons kindergarten class it was very obvious which kids did not go to preschool. I would highly recommend atleast sending him 2 days a week. They have little 3 hour programs. This way he is getting the basics from preschool to better prepare him, yet he is still with you most the time. You can even do a co-op preschool where you volunteer and go with him most days!

You are the mom and you can raise your child anyway you see fit. I had 3 boys from a previous marriage. I kept them home and not in a preschool. All 3 of them have social problems to this day. Neither one of them ever had friends that they hung around with or did things with like other kids did. They all kind of stuck to themselves. And because they didn't really fit in with the other guys they all had a girlfriend long long long term. I divorced and married a psychologist turn RN and we now have a little girl. He thinks that she needs social skills... preschool gives her that. They also have a structured program where they can interact with other kids.... kind of like a competition thing inside them, where one child knows the answer so they strive to KNOW more. Every kid will have their own thing that they are good at. For example. We never worked puzzles in my house but in preschool there was a little girl that could put a 100 piece puzzle together in no time when she was 3. My little girl watched her and she began to try harder to do a puzzle and she did a good job at working hard at it... all because she envied that and wanted to be able to do that so she worked hard at it till she accomplished it. She learned that because she was in school. She would have never leaned that in my house alone with only me all the time because I didn't do that. And there are some things that I did do that she didn't care to learn but when she saw other kids doing it, she wanted to try it. That way she learned more by being around others than she did alone at home. Now.... you have always heard people say they wanted their kids to be well rounded. Well....if you don't want them to go to school then why don't you just keep them home from elementary school and don't teach them math or english or anything else... .just let him learn history. Same thing! Why not let them learn all they can at that age so they can be smart. Why limit him to just one thing? But the social skills are the most important. If he never learns to play with other kids, by the time he gets in school he won't know how to play with other kids and then the other kids won't like him and they will always leave him out and then he will learn to walk around and do things on his own and then it will continue and continue till one day he is older and other kids think he is a nerd or weird.
I know many like that and I made my other boys from my previous marriage like that and they hate me for it now. They just never knew how to interact. But they can talk to adults... but what good does that do them now?
Of course he is your child and it is your perrogative to raise him any way you see fit. That is just my opinon and my experiences.

You should look into a parent involved preschool where you can be involved in the class. Ours is through the local community college and it's technically a parenting class. It's through the adult education program. You stay with your child to some extent and never leave the premises. Great moms and many feel the way you do and don't want to give up the time with their children but want the preschool experience since kindergarten is right around the corner.

I think it's a good idea to send him. Not that he NEEDS to go, but that it will be easier for you both now then when he has to go and it's longer hours or more days. I think it's easier on them to get used to being away from you a few hours a few days a week. My DD was just like your son very smart and I teach her alot but I knew she needed to have some time away from me to get used to going to school. I think it has been great for her. She is only 3 but she LOVES school.

DO it!!!! YES YES YES, specially at this age. Our daughter loves going to school. We pay a fortune for one of the best schools around, and we are both home all day. (and so are all of our friends, but they all send do Pre-K even if just half day a couple days a week) It is good for them in every single way. Developmental, social, educational...etc. They are usually play based, as is ours but they still learn a lot!. You can teach it all yourself, but it just isn't the same. We even leave her there all day because the afternoon is just play time, at home she would be bored and she loves her friends time and all the educational toys there.
I could go on and on but you get my point!
Good luck.

I personally believe in preschool to get them ready for Kindergarten. Both of my kid's participated in a cooperative preschool. They went from 9-12, 3 days a week, and I worked in the classroom 1 day a week. I don't know if your city has that kind of program but it worked really well for our family. When both of my kids started kinder, they were really well adjusted and the first weeks of school were fun for them.

Good luck!
Stephanie

It sounds like you might not be putting him in preschool for selfish reasons. I am not saying that your reasons are wrong or right, but it sounds like you may have a co-dependency issue that is the forefront of your battle of whether or not to send your child to preschool. Preschool is highly recommended by all educators, however it sounds like you may be doing just as good or better than what preschool can teach him. I have a 3 1/2 year old who just started preschool and he loves it! Besides the academic aspect, the social aspect is just as important. A couple of days a week would probably be good for both of you. Good luck in whatever you decide.

I think you've stated your own case.

The reason you should send him is for his socialization. The reason you don't want to send him is he provides YOUR socialization.

db

Hello, I feel that it is the right of each parent to choose whether or not to send their child to preschool. I had some of mine in parent participation classes, some in preschool (only a couple of days a week) and one didn't go at all. I did daycare and he had plenty of play time with other chldren as well as the instruction he would have gotten at a preschool. When we had custody of one of our grandsons, I did not put him into a preschool. However, he did go with me to volunteer at his cousin's class in kindergarten. By age three he could do all of the worksheets and give instruction to students who didn't understand. We also always had our children (and grandchildren) involved in gymnastics, storytime at the Library and other activities at the rec. centers. If you are not interested in having him in preschool, then maybe you could just keep up with the gymboree and other activities with other adults being in charge as well as other chldren to socialize with. Also, I would work with him on cutting with scissors, coloring, writing his name, puzzles and things he would learn in preschool. Learning numbers and letters as well as their value is also important.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

i think you are a great mom and definitely have your son's best interest at heart.

but from what i read, i see that maybe putting him in preschool 2x a week may help him with being away from you (good practice for when he will need to really be away from you in Kindergarten) for a few hours a week. Since it seems that, unlike your daughter, he's a lot more shy.

so, i say give it a try for the social aspect of it, not academics.

Hi V.S.

I haven't read the other responses at all, but I just want to pipe in really quickly. We all raise our children differently, the way you choose to raise your child may be hugely different from the way I choose to raise mine, but so long as they are turning out to be healthy, well-adjusted, responsible, polite kids, you don't need to question yourself. I can say that I don't agree with the co-sleeping, but what does my opinion matter if it works for your family? Perhaps go to the pre-school one day with your friend and your son and let him see what goes on for a bit, then ask him if it's something he may want to try. At this point, it can be his choice. If he decides he'd like to go one or two days a week, it's not going to hurt him - maybe you:) but not him and it may bring him out of his shell a bit.

Good luck! You're obviously a loving Mom and will no doubt do what's right for your son.

-S.

YES! It helps boost their confidence for when they start kindergarten...

My daughter is 4.5 years old and has been in preschool since she was three. She will enter kindergarten in the Fall and she will have just turned 5 in May of this year. Something her preschool teacher told me really hit home: the most important thing that children learn in preschool is socialization, learning to get along and following rules in a STRUCTURED setting (which school definitely is). These things are imperative to learn for later success in school she said.

For that reason alone, I think you may be putting your son at a disadvantage by not enrolling him in pre-k schooling. Think about it. If every child in his kindergarten has gone to preschool and your child has not, the transition will be very difficult for him, while others are already used to the structured setting. Also, kindergarten is 5 days a week; preschool is 2 or 3 days a week. Much easier to make the transition to being away from Mom for 5 days a week, when he's already done 2 or 3.

Best of luck in your decision; but may I add that you will never regret sending him to preschool, but you may regret it if you don't.

You sound very attached to your son and need validation for not sending him to preschool. Do what you think is best for your son. I think the consensus about preschool is that its not at all academics but learning important socialization skills with groups, listening, emerging independence.

Yes, I totally think you should. That way he'll be all ready for kindergrten which is important. Study after study has shown that kids who go to preschool are smarter and more social in the long run. There are exceptions of course, like your daughter, but I would send him.

Well, The only thing I can think is that perhaps your some might not be ready for school when the times comes. Teachers are trained to teach the things you have but are not trained to teach things like "sharing", following in a line, disciplining issues and social issues (I know i was trained to be a teacher and am 1 hour short of that teaching degree...). From what I see he might have REAL issues in kindergarden and 1st grade just learning to handle that new social environment. I might suggest a few hours each week like what you would get from your religious insitutions children's program on your holy day or something. I don't see why it needs to be more than a few hours each week though. 2 days a week is more for the mom in my option than for the child...

Wow! You are doing a fantastic job getting your child ready for school. He does not need pre-school for academics. In fact, in my opinion pre-school's purpose is NOT to learn the ABCs and 123s. Yeah, sure they can play with that and have fun with them, but pre-school is for socialization and learning independence. I think a couple of days a week would prepare both of you for the time he enters school on a full time basis. Especially since you have alluded that he is a bit on the shy side when it comes to social interaction. I am a elementary teacher, former pre-school teacher, and mom who thinks that 2 or 3 days a week (for 2-3 hrs at a time) would be a good experience for him. You should look for a co-op type of program where you can volunteer in the classroom. Our daughter attends a program through the City of Escondido and we have to volunteer once a month (I say "have to" bc it is a requirement, but we love doing it).

I think it is a personal choice. Sounds like your little guy is right on track, if not advanced academically. And as long as your providing social activities/interactions with other kids than it sounds like there is no reason for preschool. My son will be 3 1/2 next fall and like you we spend most of our day together and learn through structured and unstructured activities/life experiences. He too is very shy and takes him awhile to warm up to other kids. The preschool I'm looking at allows you to pick and choose the number of days they go and if you want full day or half day. I am thinking of starting him at either 1 to 2 half days a week and see how it goes. There is no reason that you can't pull him out if it doesn't work for either one of you. My hope is that he enjoys it and makes some new friends.

there is no right or wrong. there is only what feels best to you, it sounds like everything is going wonderfully for you two right now. there is only the need to change anything when it no longer serves you and your son.

It is your prerogative to send him! However, perhaps it would be good for BOTH of you if you did even if it is only a couple of days a week.

Sounds like academically, he is quite advanced! So preschool would be an opportunity to work on his shyness and socialization skills. He would have an opportunity to learn to socialize with other kids without you being there. You can have the same opportunity also. Perhaps some socialization with adults (and without your son there) can be good for you, too.

I think preschool is totally up to you and your husband. Personally, I put my 3 yo in preschool this year and she LOVES it. I am also a stay at home mom and I don't have any friends with children her age, at least ones close to me. So, to get her socialized, not to mention that I had a baby right around the time she started, we decided to start her in school. She also showed an interest in going to school. The other benefit was for me, I have found a small group of women that I have become friendly with, but like I said it is your decision, which I'm sure you know. Do what you feel is right for you and your child, and that is the right thing to do, bottom line. Hope this helps:)