My 2.5 year-old will be going to preschool in September, and we haven't yet talked to him about touching/looking at privates. Now that he'll be away from me during the day, I want to make sure he knows what's appropriate and what isn't. He is very advanced with language and will have no trouble understanding what we say, but he's very literal, and there are so many grey areas in this. I wanted to tell him that no one should be touching/looking at him except for mom, dad, and when we take him to the dr, but I don't want him to have a problem if the teacher has to help him go to the bathroom. He's newer at the potty training thing and can't go to the bathroom all by himself without some support. How did you mamas explain to your kids??
I've had the talk with mine at 2.5 (one is almost 4). She understands no one should touch her privates except, her, mom and dad. I would tell him that and that if anyone else does he should tell you. If he does take it literally -that's ok, explain the potty thing when/if that comes up. better safe than sorry - it's not too early!
If he needs help pottying or cleaning up after an accident, it makes no sense to tell him nobody should be looking at his boy bits. What does make sense is that nobody should be touching him in ways that make him feel "bad," worried, or scared, not even his mommy or daddy. Assure him that if that ever happens, he should tell the toucher to stop, and tell you or Daddy about it right away.
Nakedness is not really a big deal for kids at this age, and in fact "booty camps" during which groups of kids are potty trained often has them running nekked in front of each other and the teachers. They notice differences in genitals, and are curious about them, but their ideas are not yet sexualized, and so there's no real shame or awkwardness about it yet.
I think it probably does children, as a whole, a disservice to be too anxious about "all" the perverts in the world. All but the tiniest fraction of adults would much rather help and protect a child than take advantage of his innocence. Kids this age are literal, and need clear black and white guidelines. Too much fear and anxiety about life and its potential dangers are more harmful than helpful.
I didnt.. mine are 3 and 4. my preschool only has female staff.
I know that the kids might need help with potty so the speech didnt seem to make sense at this age.
i told my son that no one was to be looking at his privates at all but i told him if he needed help he could ask Ms.---- for help ( his daycare provider). but one she could help him. and just to test where his his mind was and how he was comprehending what i told him i would ask him had anyone touched his privates at all. i would mention everyones name under the sun( grandma, daddy, friends at school, cookie monster etc.) if it was someone he didn't know he would say " no and i don;'t know who that is or no, they are not real. so the earlier you teach and help them understand the more comfortable you will feel. good luck
I think it's kind of young to try and explain that. The preschool staff is probably all female, and to be honest, I don't think he is really going to get it. He may act like he is, but most kids wouldn't think twice about that stuff at that age. I say let the talk go for now until he is old enough to understand it (mine turns 4 in a few days and I still don't think he would fully "get it").
At my childs preschool, they have to be completely potty trained. And even if they ask for help, the teachers can not help them in any way. The only thing that they could do is offer a wet wipe so they can wipe themselves with that.
I think how you are approaching it is right. Be prepared for questions though - when my daughter and I had this talk initially she had questions I wasn't prepared for, and since then too. It's like opening a can of worms.
Anyway, talk to your preschool. In my daughters preschool they do not help the kids in the bathroom, the teachers stay outside the stall and help them washing their hands, but inside the stall they have privacy and should be able to take care of their toileting independently. It's too risky for the school teachers to help. Imagine if your kid came home and said "my teacher touched my privates when I was going potty." (even if the teacher was just helping wipe) No school is going to put themselves in this position, nor should they. You may want to start practicing going potty independently before school starts. Good luck.
