Problem with the Family Pet

Hi, J..

I work with a dog rescue group, and this is a very common problem. It can be solved if you're willing to put in some time and training. Time alone to "get used to the kids" will not solve it. It will only make the problem worse to leave it alone, but this is something that CAN be solved through some training. I've used these methods with my own dogs, and have helped a lot of other people having problems with theirs. You may want to look for a positive trainer in your area to help you with some of the things I can suggest, or methods or their own that have worked for them. Here is a link where you can find a positive trainer in your area.
http://www.apdt.com/po/ts/us.asp

First off, never, never, never, ever leave the kids and dogs unattended. It's too easy for something to happen.

There are two things happening here, as far as I can tell.

1. Small children are quick moving and unpredictable, which is frightening to some dogs. They also do things with their hands and bodies that a dog can easily misinterpret as an attack or show of dominance. The dog will try to warn the child with a growl. If that scares the child when it happens but the child tries the "scary" stuff again, the dog feels a need to progress to the next warning/self defense mode, and may lightly bite. And so on and so on. You need to help your dog gain a positive association with small children, and teach the children your dog comes in contact with to be gentle and respectful of the dog. Children shouldn't be allowed to pull, pinch, or poke the dog. They should also learn to only pet a dog on the shoulders and forechest (under the neck), NEVER on the head. Dogs hate that and only tolerate it from people they trust and respect. Even at 10 months, you can begin to show your daughter how to stroke your dog slowly and gently in a way the dog will appreciate. You must intervene if the child is ready to grab the dog. You are the mediator between the two, and can help them both feel safe until they learn each other's languages and needs.

2. Your dog most likely sees your daughter as a puppy of lower status. She feels she has a right and an obligation to discipline the human puppy if the child is invading her space or doing something the dog feels is inappropriate. She needs to learn that it is never her job to discipline the human puppy, only yours.

So, how do you solve these things?

If your dog doesn't have a private space all her own, you need to create a spot for her. You can use a crate or block off a room or corner using baby gates. This area needs to be completely off limits to the children. Dogs need privacy just as people do, and a place they feel is safe. You can train your dog to go to that place for naps or quiet time. A trainer can help you with that. Another thing that has been extremely helpful in my house is to teach the dog the command, "Move." That's another thing you can have a trainer help you with. I've had two baby boys and have two large dogs. I'm sure you know that babies can move at lightening speed when they want to do something. If I saw the baby crawling/walking toward a resting dog and knew I couldn't get between the dog and the baby's squeezing fingers in time, I would give the command, "Rock, MOVE." Rock would jump up and move out of the way, I would praise him enthusiastically, and then pick up the baby and give the dog a treat. After a few days of this (after learning the command), he knew that it was his job to move away from the baby if he didn't want to interact with him or get pinched. After he was solid on moving on his own, I would still praise him every time to keep him happy about doing it, and reinforce the desired behavior.

If your dog growls at the baby or another child, the dog needs to be corrected immediately, but NOT harshly through spanking or other methods that will give the dog a negative association with the children. Then YOU need to remedy the situation. If the child did something to bother the dog, the child needs to be corrected in front of the dog. The dog learns that (a)you are the only one allowed to discipline in the home, and (b)she doesn't need to do it because you are a very fair leader who will always take care of the problem. After a while, your dog will tattle on the kids if they bother her.

If she's growling/nipping at kids she doesn't know, it could be any one or any combination of several things. You should always be there to introduce her to kids coming over, and never let her play with them unsupervised. Then they aren't invaders, they are guests that she knows you feel comfortable with.

The kids should get a refresher course on being gentle with her, and moving slowly until she is really comfortable with them. Remind them to pet her shoulders, NOT her head. Have her sit and let the kids give her treats if she's behaving nicely. If she starts to bark at them, tell them to be a tree - stand still with their heads down looking at their roots, and their branches (arms) crossed in front of them. That is very non-threatening to a dog, and she should calm down. If this doesn't solve the problem, take her to her private place with her own toys an treats to keep her occupied and happy. Then call a trainer to come observe her another time and get a better idea of what's going on in her head.

If you want to talk to me about it, email me privately at ____@____.com and send me your phone number. That will give me a better idea of what you're dealing with and how you might be able to solve the problem.

Good luck, and don't give up! You can have a home that is a happy place for all the people and your dogs, too. Try finding a trainer with the link at the top of this post, and send me an email if you want to talk about it in more detail.

Regards,

T. Adams

As a dog lover myself, I would find it hard to part with a beloved animal. However, I must agree that your daughter's safety comes first. No, you aren't crazy for thinking about getting rid of the dog. You're being a responsible parent. Trust your instincts. Find the dog a family who can love it without it being a risk to children. Maybe it would be a wonderful companion to an elderly person who seldom gets visits from small children and could put the dog away on those few occasions. The elderly have lots of love and attention to give a pet.

Hi J.. Tough situation. As a dog owner and lover, I know that they are a huge part of your family, that being said, saftey is first. However, this doesn't mean getting rid of the dog (by finding it a home with help from Petfinders.com and the local groups for rescue, I pray) just yet. Try training, you can pick up tips from your obidiance trainer. I just finished classes at DogWatch in Bentonville (they have one in F-ville too) and learned some MUCH needed lessons (especially the leadership excercise) from Erin, our teacher. I have taken classes in the past several times, but each dog is different and should be trained indavidually. We recently adopted a Boxer who had NO manners, was raised with no pack hierarchy and thought she was just one of the gang, not one of the underlings. We have been consistent, and diligent for 2 months now, and it is like she is a different dog. I am so happy to raise my daughter with a dog to love and protect her. It was a lot of work to get here, but it is worth it. They are NEVER too old to learn (dogs and kids). We have employed a shock collar also (used mostly outside to keep her from running off) and used correctly (I stress correctly...it is for training, not punishment) it is a life saver.

If you are willing to take the time and put in the energy to training the dog, training the kids to treat the dog a certain way and working as if to save a family member, it CAN be done. If you take a few months to focus on the training, create the right habits and be consistent, you will have a family pet for life. A few months is a good trade for a lifetime of devotion and good behaviour. Good luck to you and the kids and the pooches.

No it is understandable that you think about getting rid of the dog.

The most important thing for you to do is to make sure that the dogs are taught that you, people, are the dominant factor.
This takes training in some cases professional training. I would suggest you contact your local SPCA and ask if they can refer you to a trainer. Tell them your reasons.

TO ALL OTHERS I CAN UNDERSTAND ALL THE NEGATIVITY HERE.

BUT REMENBER MANY OF PET DOGS HAVE SAVE FAMILIES FOR FIRES ETC.

WHEN ONE GETS A DOG THEY SHOULD TALK TO PEOPLE SUCH AS THE SPCA FOR REFERRAL TO PROFESSIONALS. TELL THEM WHERE YOU LIVE AND YOUR REASONS FOR WANTING A DOG. LET THEM SUGGEST A TYPE OF DOG BEST FOR YOU. THERE IS NO SENSE IN GETTING A LARGE DOG, SAY A SHEPARD IF YOU LIVE IN A APARTMENT. ALSO NO MATTER THE SIZE OF YOUR DOG ALL DOGS NEED DAILY EXERCISE.
ALL DOGS, WHETHER ONE OR 10, ALL NEED TO BE TAUGHT THAT THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM ARE THE DOMINANT FACTOR.

Good Luck God Bless - Enjoy your child as there is no greater blessing Our Lord gives

I have a 1 and 3 year old and we have 2 dogs. I have found that one of my dogs is the dominant one and that dog has a problem with other females weather it be another dog or person. What you afe dealing with is a sense of domination coming from the dog because now there is another female around. Its not that your dog doesnt like her its that she is trying to let your daughter know who is boss. this is where you step in and with your daughter beside you or in your lap dominate the dog to let her kow she is not the boss but people are including your baby. it will take time and i mean a while. but if ou work with her she will eventually give in.
watch the dog whisperer he will give you alot of details.

I would get rid of the dog asap. It is not worth a possible bite in the face and disfigurement to your precious baby. Dogs have their place, but even docile ones shouldn't be trusted around a child without constant supervision!!
T. S

J.,
I hope that you will consider obedience training before giving up your dog. Contact your vet and find a reputable dog trainer. This will make all the difference in the behavior of your dog. The dog just does not know how to act around this new pack member. You have given her your love for the last few years, and it would be so nice to give her this chance. In the meantime, to keep your child out of harms way, keep the dog and the baby separated or under close supervision.
I look at it this way, my car is a possible death trap--but I still use it for transportation. I just try to drive safely. Be safe with your pet, and give her the opportunity to love your baby as much as you do.
My two girls LOVE their dogs, and the feeling is mutual!

I just couldn't think that you would want to "wait and see" if the dog may bite a child? The dog is obviously feeling threatened by the kids, for whatever reason, and you can train her but I would think it would be by a professional who understands the dogs psychology. Someone is not being the alpha and so she is. Best of Luck.
B.

Before you make the final decision to get rid of the dog look at exactly what the dog is doing when the nipping and growling is going on. If the dog is wagging its tail, it may be trying to play and does not understand that it appears to be being aggressive. You might also take the dog to the vet and speak with him about what you are seeing to see what recommendations he may have. I understand very well about wanting to be extra careful about your baby and keeping your daughter safe, but you don't want to make a hasty decision. In another couple of months, weeks or even days the dog and your daughter could be the best of friends. I was given a dog on the day I was born and we grew up together and to this day I am an animal lover. I am not saying that this is what happens with every person, but it did with me. Best of luck to you

I know you are attached to your pet, but the safety of your child needs to come first. Some animals just don't get along with small children.

You are not crazy. I have known kids seriously injured by the family pet.

Get rid of the dog. You won't know if you've given the dog enough/too much time to adjust until your daughter needs 30 stitches. SO, get rid of the dog today.

I say, find a good home for the dogs. It is not worth an injury or worse for your child.

Good Luck
S. MIller

Don't give your dog away just yet. My sister in law had the same problem. Her dog had never been around children and when she was she would bark and growl. Then they had a baby and the dog really did not like it. They bought a mussle and kept it on her when around the baby. With time and training the dog is fine now. She never growls or snaps at him or his little brother. People fail to realize when they get a pet it is supposed to be part of the family. After 4 years your dog knows your home as their home, and don't understand the baby. I am sure the dog goes into attack mode due to a baby being quick , I am sure that the dog would not intentionally hurt the baby. Good luck

Hey,
I totally understand your problem! Dogs are pack animals and your dog sees your daughter, and your nieces and nephews, as lower in the pack than itself. This will only change if you "A dog" your dog...Hold it on its back for even the slightest show of aggression towards kids. (running away is okay, growlying or showing of teeth, raising of hair, even just giving the kid the look is not OK) You have to fix it NOW! Your dog needs to understand that its position in the family or pack is lower than the children. If your dog can't get it then you need to get rid of the dog. Personally, I would not even place a dog that showed aggression towards kids but I would have to put it to sleep humanely. Sorry, I know you love your dog but I have personally seen what happens if you don't fix this problem and the kids will loose!
Good luck.
B.

Please trust your instincts and find the dog a new home.

We went through the same thing with our dog and finally decided to put her up for adoption to a home with no children. We had her for five years before our daughter was born and the dog did great while she was a baby, but once she started walking it was a different story. Plus she had already nipped at our nieces and nephews.

We tried to keep her for as long as possible but I found myself getting more stressed out and even resentful of the dog. I could not leave them alone together and both wanted to follow me around the house. Our dd was told repeatedly not to touch the dog. The dog growled at her a few times and then started getting in a threatening pounce position everytime my daughter walked by...that was when I finally decided it was time for her to go...she looked like she was just waiting for a chance to bite my girl.

Our dog (chow/shepard mix) was a special needs dog - she had no peripheral vision and her jaw would occassionaly lock up on her (a muscle spasm of sorts) in which she would try to bite anyone near her. After talking to the Vet about her behavior the Doctor agreed that we should find her a new home - It is just not worth the risk!!

I would talk to your veterinarian. Make sure there isn't a medical reason for the change in behavior. Your veterinarian can also make recommendations about behavior therapy and or medications. And if you do ultimately come to the decision that your pet is no longer right for your family, your veterinarian can help you locate a new home.

Good luck.

FWIW, we have 2 dogs as well...and one has general anxiety issues. She had a harder time with our son when he started crawling and then walking. Now that he is almost 2 he understands the difference in her postures and and she understands that he's not going anywhere! Of course, I am extra cautious when they are playing near each other and don't let myself get distracted when they are together. But I think it is just good pet ownership to not underestimate an animal.

get rid of the dog. it's a matter of time before your babies are bitten. it's not worth putting your baby thru the trauma

bye bye to the dog. We had the same issue and our VET advised us to get rid of the dog. She was great just threatened/afraid of kids coming at her. She WILL eventually bite you daughter and because of size it will be on the face. Don't risk this behavior. She shared with us a client of hers that their dog had knocked her daughter down twice and the second time it broke her colar bone. THe vet and the ER dr. advised them again to remove the dog. THey didn't and a month later the dog bite her in the face. the child was REMOVED from the home by DHS until the dog was gone. BUt get this the Husband took the dog and left!. Just crazy but it is a pet and as much as we enjoy them they are not a child.

Ok I want to share what happened to my son last year. I have a 6 year old with Down Syndrome. He is about 18 months old developmentally. We were at my neighors house playing along with my 3 year old daughter and newborn. My neighbor also had a young baby. She'd had her dog for about 8 years and he had always seemed to be the nicest dog and was great with all the kids. Well my little boy had been learning his animal sounds and decided to bark one time at the dog. The dog got startled and jumped on my son biting the right side of his face. The damage was so bad that we could count all my baby's teeth through the outside of his cheek. It has taken 2 reconstructive surgeries and more to come to fix the damage. He has several scars left to show for it.

I'm telling you all this to plead with you. Please, please, please DO NOT take any chances with your baby. If you are already having concerns, maybe its your maternal instincts warning you. I completely trusted the dog that did this to my son, as did the neighbors that owned him and this still happened. Animals are animals and we can never really know what they are capable of. We all love our pets but is it worth your child being hurt or worse? It has been 14 months since my baby got bitten and he is still terrified of dogs even on TV. My daughter is too since she stood there and saw the whole thing happen. Hopefully this helps you and didnt' completely freak you out. Please just follow your gut. Good luck.

it is hard to do but when a dog shows any agression toward kids you need to get rid of them before it has any kind of chance to actually hurt the baby. what you need to do to make you feel better is make sure that it goes to a good home but make sure you let them know about her behavior toward kids. you are right the safty of your child should always come first.

No, I don't think you're crazy for thinking about getting rid of your dog. And before I am listed as not a "pet" person...let me say, I am...but not to the extent of possibly harming my child or a someone else's.
We have five children and have only had outside dogs, but for Christmas a few years back decided to buy an adorable little inside dog. We thought the kids would greatly enjoy her and she would a great addition to our home. However, it soon became clear that she did love being here and was adapting very well until she heard the school bus...then she started getting fidgety and more moody. Our first grader was coming home soooo excited to see her and he just burst through the door looking for her and wanting to play! And in all honestly even after us working with him and helping him to understand that he needed to have a more calm approach to her and we took her to classes, it only got worse. She started off with sort of snipping at the kids on occassions, but then actually made contact with one. Even though it was a hard decision for all of us and we had hoped that she would adjust, as parents we knew that our #1 priority is to protect our children. I realize people get attached, but I also believe that deep down we all know when the point comes that the choice has to be made between a family member and an animal, no matter how attached you are. It sounds like your daughter and your other family dog are developing a great bond, I hope that continues.
Just as a post note...our little dog went to a family that had a teenage daughter (only) and she is thriving and loves her new home. We see her sometimes riding in the car with the family and my kids are always excited to say hey look there's Hershey! I hope in the future we'll be able to get an inside dog that will enjoy my (bit above normal) louder home with four boys and one girl...but for now, the outside dog that can run and chase them as much as they like to him will have to do. :-)

Best of luck!
K.

J.,
You are not at all to feel bad for having to get rid of a family pet. Your kids safety should come first. Animals can be unpredictable and you just never know. If one is starting to show signs of aggression on several occasions, I would start looking for a new home for it. We had to do that with one of our dogs. We found a GREAT home for him. They even alow us to come over and visit him. It has been wonderful situation and I am not worried about an injury.Good luck to you.

My dog is similar. He had never been around kids before, except kids whizzing by on bikes in the neighborhood, and he always growls at them. He has only shown gentle affection for our 6 month old and is in fact very protective of her, sort of guards her; however, he did sort of nip at my 15 month old niece visiting from out of town (he's always aggressive toward strangers and visitors anyway), because she was approaching him and myself, and he is very protective and also doesn't like anyone but us approaching him. But many dogs are like this around toddlers, because a toddler or kid is around the same eye level as the dog, and the kid is usually on the move, running toward the dog or approaching, and the dog finds that very threatening. That is natural and common, especially if the dog isn't used to mobile children (most ignore little babies, because they don't really do anything or move much). Our dog also is used to nipping at the cat whenever he tries to sharpen his claws on the furniture - he's the disciplinarian!! I would suggest not giving the dog away - that teaches your children that pets are disposable and they are not, they are family members that when you acquired them you make a commitment to take care of for the life of that animal. Just watch them carefully and don't leave them unattended together ever. I suspect the dog will get used to the child, but it does take time. Once my baby becomes mobile I will be dealing with this myself I'm sure. But please don't get rid of the dog, there is such a heartbreaking problem with unwanted pets who get euthanized because all of these irresponsible pet owners who don't fix or neuter their pets. Anyway, if the problem continues, I strongly suggest behavior classes for your pet. They work wonders, I've heard, and I may be taking my own dog there someday if his behavior changes once the baby is mobile!! Also, I'd be interested to know what kind of dog yours is. (Mine is a blue heeler and chow mix, which explains a lot of his behavior). Oh I forgot one thing, I always heard to always praise the dog while you are in the same room when you and the baby are nearby, so he associates the baby with good things and will like the baby instead of being jealous, but I think that is more like in the beginning when you bring the baby home. But maybe you could try that now, that is of course, if the dog is not growling or nipping at the baby at the time!! I've never been one to suggest giving a pet away, but on the other hand, maybe since you are the type of pet owner to even contemplate it, maybe being a petowner isn't right for you after all and you should give the pet to someone who will commit to taking care of him/her no matter what. But I still think behavior/obedience classes are the way to go. Or I supppose you could look at giving away the pet as being in the best interest of the pet because IF he ends up injuring your child then he would be put to sleep anyway, right? Maybe you should find a child-free home for him where he would get all the attention. I guess I'm not helping much, huh! Sorry. And children will do unpredictable things and run suddenly and scare a dog, which a dog would naturally react to. I just wish people would consider all possibilities such as "what if I have children someday?" BEFORE they decide to get a pet. I'm not criticizing YOU, that's just a general sweeping statement, and I'm just offering my personal opinion, which is obviously different than the majority of the posters, who seem to think of pets as disposable and replacable. Good luck and to answer your actual question, I don't think you are "crazy" for thinking of getting rid of the dog, obviously you have the safety of your children in mind, it's just sad, that's all. Oh well. Sorry I don't think I helped much. Maybe try obedience classes and if it doesn't work you might have to find him a new home that will give him a chance to be happy unless you are willing to watch them closely together at all times and teach your child to not run toward the dog, pull on him, etc. But I hope it works out and you decide to keep the dog.

Is it possible to keep the dog in the back yard, so that anytime your daughter is around her you could supervise? If not, then I would consider looking for someone without children who could offer her a good home.

I have a back yard dog who is not very good with small children, so I really have to watch carefully any time some are around. She is a very good dog, but seems to view small children in a different way then other bigger people.

You must think of the worst-case scenario and try to prevent it from happening. The tragedy is that most dog maulings could be prevented, but often the owner thinks that their dog couldn't possibly do something like that.

You are very smart to realize and admit to yourself that your dog could possibly end up attacking your daughter. If it were me, I would find it a new home today. It will be much easier to live with the thought of having to give her up than it would be to live with yourself if something happened to your precious child.

Every year, there are literally dozens, if not hundreds, of cases where dogs, even those who had been around a child for years, suddenly have attacked and maimed and in some cases, killed a child that they live with, or someone visiting. Please don't let your child be one of those tragedies.

I know it will be heart-breaking to have to give the dog up, but maybe someone you know will take her, and then you can visit the dog occasionally. On those trips, I would leave your child with someone and just go alone, at least until your child is older.

I am also an animal lover. I grew up around dogs, cats, ferrets, turtles, fish, birds, etc. I always had a pet as a child, but never any that displayed warning signs like your dog is currently displaying. If you have any doubts at all, please look up dog attacks on the internet, and you will be absolutely shocked at how many there have been, particularly since most are not wild dogs, they are tame and owned by someone and loved by someone.

Animals are much like humans in that they can get jealous of the attention you are giving your child, and also small dogs can be particularly nervous sorts, and small children can exacerbate that to a point where the dog could feel that she is having to defend herself, and end up biting your child. I think that you will do the right thing, and I know it will be hard, but you will be able to breathe a little easier down the road.

hi J.,
i wanted to let u know ur correct thinking it would b best to send the dog to a new home. i had a german shephard dog for years it grew up with my kids. then one day out of the blue it attacked my oldest when he jumped up on the steps to come in the house. billy did nothing to the dog but it happened anyway. if u have any worries get rid of the dog hun ur kids come first n foremost gl n let me know ok
J.

Its great that you are skeptical. Most new parents automatically think "It'll sort itself out" and wonder why they're rushing their poor kids to the hospital to get stitched back up (my fiance as a younster had to hold his toddler-brother's face together in their headlong rush). The truth is, you already had children - your dogs. They were the babies, and not too happy about getting shunted out of that position. Address it now, and hopefully it'll help stave off the unmentionable. You're best source for info on whether or not they can be "retrained" to accept their new sibs is from a professional obedience trainer, probly not a job for your local Petsmart lacky. Hit your yellow pages to find one. :}

I would get rid of the dog the first time she ever growled at my baby. I would just make sure you give her to someone who is either and older couple, or someone whose kids are pretty much grown so she isn't around children.

Hi J.

I have the same problem except I only have one dog. My daughter is three and the dog is still growling and snipping at my daughter. However, when the snipping happens my child is generally petting the dog. Your child may not be interested in your dog. No matter what my dog does my daughter still loves her and wants to pet her. This only increases my stress; my daugher is now under strict instructions not to touch the dog without asking and then I have to closely supervise. And to top it off my dog will not leave the area either; she wants to be near me. So if you can find a good home (maybe with a relative) for your dog then I would suggest you try. I have tried to find a home for ours, but have not had any luck.

Hi J.,
I know it's sad to think of getting rid of a pet, but what is a pet compared to your child? You can get another dog but you can't replace your baby. I had a cat that I'd had for about 7 years at the time my daughter was born. When she was about the age of your baby, the cat began to hiss at her when she'd crawl toward him. After a couple of times of this, he took a swipe at her--eye level. I found another home for the cat the next day. All I could think of was, what if he had blinded her? Animals are unpredictable, and your child is depending on you for protection from the world--including family pets that might not be so welcoming. Animals have jealousy, too. Hope this helps. It's not easy to part with a pet, but easier that than having to live with what that animal might do to your precious little girl.
C.