Hi,
This is the first time I am writing in this forum so I hope I am doing this right. I am wondering if anyone is going through what I am and if you can give me some advice. I am married to the man of my dreams and together we have a fun loving, happy, beautiful 21 month old daughter. We decided last year to try and have another baby. Now we have been trying to get pregnant again for nearly 7 months, unsuccessfully. Please don't get me wrong. I feel so blessed to have my little girl because she is also a dream come true. She is the joy of my life. However, I am desperate to have another little one because (this may sound strange)I feel like we are meant to have another baby. Sometimes I feel guilty because there are many people out there who would love to have just one child and be happy. Anyways, we have not been able to get pregnant again and it is very disheartening every month when I get my period,because we were blessed with our daughter on the first try. I am constantly monitoring my period and ovulation and taking the ovulation tests and the tests tell me that I have an LH surge. My husband and I have a good time together, but I am constantly worried about getting it right. I even lie down with a pillow under my hips for 15-30 minutes afterwrds.I try not to got to the bathroom afterwards as well. I am not sure what is wrong. We are praying everyday that we would be blessed again, and always thanking God for the blessing we already have. I have a doctors appointment in two weeks to discuss other options. My husband is not willing to go through fertility intervention should we need it. I am trying to keep hopeful and not feel so desperate. I feel that because of this problem I sometimes cannot enjoy my daughter and I feel like I am not being a more attentive or gracoius wife and mother. Almost all my friends in my playgroup are pregnant with their second babies and it is getting harder to go to the playgroups every week. I feel petty and foolish for the way I feel. Please forgive me if I have offended anyone with this issue. I am just wondering if anyone else is going through this and is there anything that someone can suggest that might be helpful in this situation?
Aneela R
Hi,
Thankyou so much for all your advice. I am so grateful for your well wishes. I feel a lot better after reading all the responses. I am going to try everything that was adviced and focus on my husband and daughter. Whenever we do become pregnant again, it will be icing on the cake. I will keep everyone posted. God Bless.
Aneela
Hi!
You may consider trying acupuncture treatments to help conceive. Many women have had success with it!
I'm sure there are acupuncturists in your area that work with fertility issues.
Good luck!
C. Tanaka, DC
I understand were you are at. I went through that myself. My first daughter was conceived after two months of trying. When she turned 18 months we started trying for child number 2. I was like you each month that my period came and the more friends that were getting pregnant, I was more and more depressed. I was 39 years old and did see a fertility doctor and we went through some tests and found we were both heathly with no fertility problems. I did start tking some fertility pills but nothing to strong because I didn't want 4 or 5 babies. After 18 months of trying I finally got pregnant with child number 2, but I did have a hard pregnancy, I was now 40, almost 41, but I got my second beautiful little girl and I am so glad that God blessed me with her. Good luck to you!
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You are entitled to your feelings so no need to apologize for a thing. Best advice I can give you is to take this one step at a time. See what the doctor days and go from there. Generally speaking husbands do come around to fertility treatments, but it takes them longer to process so let him be for now and you just focus on getting information. You may need to do some tests (saline ultrasound, etc).
Best of luck and hope your journey to having another baby is a short one.
A.
First off, you do not have to apologize for the way you feel. It's completely normal. I remember becoming so obsessed with wanting a second child that I couldn't be in the presence of other pregnant women because it hurt so bad to see them glowing and happy. I completely understand you feeling like your family was meant to have another child to share your joy. I do not know to what extent you have been tracking your fertility but I would highly recommend doing some research on the Fertility Awareness Method. This method worked so well for me that I was able to pinpoint the day I ovulated and got pregnant the second month of trying. Not only that, but when you completely understand your body and how it works, you will no longer live each day in fear of your period coming because you'll know well in advance if it's going to come. It's kind of hard for me to explain because it's been almost 4 years since I went through all of this myself and it's kind of foggy now. If by chance you are already doing all of this, then just know that you are not alone in the way you feel and if it was meant for you to have another child, it will come when the time is right!
Hi A., My name is T. me and my husband want another baby too. But my problem is a little more different i been trying for 4 years now im so heart broken because me and my husband want another one really bad. Don't get me wrong im also blessd for having my son i really want another child for my son to grow up with a brother or sister he wants another baby. Why is it so hard to have a 2nd baby? I see other women with 3-4 kids with no problems is there something wrong with me?? The only i feel is only god no's whats best maybe he's having me wait? I don't no i really want another baby soooo bad maybe one day it'll happen but i dont want to wait too long my son is already 6 is im so sad :(. I need advise on what to do??? Someone please help me out!
Hello, A.,
Stress alone is enough to interfere with pregnancy. It sounds like you are experiencing a great level of stress about this second pregnancy. In your letter you expressed that it may be getting in the way of your fully enjoying the life you have with your baby and loving husband who are here with you RIGHT NOW. Do you take walks? Enjoy yoga? Laugh often? Perhaps you may suspend your desire to fully cultivate what is here for you right now. In the being fully present to all that you have now you may soon discover a second present on the way soon!
On another front, if you are near the Pasadena area, we have a Ceragem which can be very useful. You are welcome to come and use it or I can help you locate on near you. It is beneficial to the body in so many ways as well as being very relaxing and balancing.
As a nutrition coach, I work with some superior foods that have helped many people. One woman had been trying to have her first child through fertility procedures for twelve years! When she started to eat these foods, she became pregnant in less than six months. They nourish, balance and cleanse the body and provide a rich growing environment for fertilization and a healthy baby to grow.
May you enjoy fully all that you have. If you would like to talk more please let me know.
My very best to you, A.,
T.
I know exactly how you feel! Once my son turned 15 months we started trying for our second. My first pregnancy took 3 months to conceive but was a blighted ovum. Then my pregnancy with my son also took 3 months so we figured it wouldn't take long for our second child. I followed the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and charted my cycles just like I had before. I noticed a short luteal phase again and got some progesterone supplementation. We used LH sticks too, but they were sometimes inaccurate. After 9 months of charting, hormone tests and my husband's semen analysis, my doctor was ready to perform an HSG to see if my tubes were blocked. I swear we did everything - hips up on pillow, resting 30 minutes, not urinating directly after, sex every day, sex every other day, no sex until ovulation...
Well, low and behold the 10th month of trying we finally become pregnant! It's actually still average for it to take up to a year to conceive in your thirties (I'm 32). Interestingly enough, what did the trick for us both times in conceiving my son and our current little bean, was to have sex three days in a row just prior to ovulation. Easier said than done with timing and everything. If you haven't read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, I would recommend it. It really helps in interpreting your cycles and communicating with your doctor to try and find methods that work for you without full-on fertility intervention.
Take care. I know it can be frustrating, but hang in there!!
M.
