Protocol for Noticing a Boob Job

I had a breast reduction, and I've had lots and lots of people say, "You look fantastic!" Which makes me happy. :)

It depends on her personality. Sometimes it is weird to say nothing, if the change is obvious. I haven't had a boob job, but I like, "Nice boobs!"

Unless it's about breast cancer we usually don't discuss breasts.
No need to comment on any silicon valleys.

i LOVE this question!
i think it would be perfectly appropriate and pleasant to make a light-hearted comment like 'your silhouette has changed! how delightful!' or something along those lines.
surely people don't have boob jobs and WANT no one to notice, right?
:D
ETA OMG i'm amazed at how many people are offended by this fun and light-hearted question! i mean- they're just boobs!
khairete
S.

Oh come on. You really expect her to tell you that? It's one thing to talk about nursing and mastitis. It's another thing to talk about this. If she tells one person, she might as well tell the world.

And calling women "boob jobbers" is just rude.

How about, "you look great!"

You may not think it is odd but you would be in the minority there. I hardly think elective surgery is the same as baby poop. Sorry but unless you would go up to her and say hey, I noticed you put on fifty pounds over the winter you shouldn't comment on her boob job. These tend to be very personal issues

You seem to think this is a good friend but a good friend would have talked to you all along about this decision. She would have asked you what you thought about sizes, doctors, all the stuff I hear coworkers talking about pre boob jobs. Coworkers! That she said nothing to you seems to be a clear signal she doesn't want to talk to you about this

If I wanted someones opinion on my boobs after my surgery I would have asked for it to be honest. If someone wanted to say something generic like "you look great", that was fine, but if you wouldn't say "nice rack" to me before I would expect you would not say it after.

If she wanted to discuss it, she would have told you already. When I got my girls, I had no problem telling anyone and everyone. It just wasn't something I felt like I needed to hide. But since your friend isn't singing it out to the world, I'd assume that she wants to keep it private. Say to her "You look amazing!" and if she says "Oh, you noticed? I got my boobs done!" then discussion is fair game. If she says "Oh, thanks." then drop it.

I don't think there's any way you can bring this up with someone who has not discussed it with you at all. If she did have breast augmentation or some kind of reconstruction (not a "boob job", may I suggest), she's been through hell. She didn't just go in for an hour and then sit around the house for 48 hours with ice packs. If she has gone through something this extensive and did not tell you, then she doesn't feel close enough to you to discuss it. It's not the same as baby poop or mastitis. You might not consider it odd to talk about private things with her, but she obviously considers it odd to talk to you.

It's also possible that she didn't have anything done at all and you're just focused on it. Maybe she got a new wardrobe and some fabulous new bras, and you're noticing it with a change of clothes with the arrival of spring! It's equally possible that she has some major health issue and required surgery for some medical issue with something reconstructive. You just can't compliment someone on the end results if perhaps there was something major going on with her health.

I think you might find other women to take offense at terms like "boob jobbers" too - there's just no way to make that sound nice, supportive, and woman-affirming.

If you absolutely must say something, tell her she looks great. If you need to probe, you can ask if she got some new clothes or lost weight. That's all you can say.

I think if you don't know, don't say anything.

If you're close enough to pay a compliment (if that's what you're doing, and not just trying to deal with an awkward situation), then it would be natural to do so. If you're at all uneasy about this - don't comment on her breasts.

Honestly, you can tell when someone is just saying something to be polite anyways - so if this is awkward and you must say something, then I agree "you look great!" is fine.

I had a woman comment on my breasts when I was first pregnant once ... and it was rude. She was a co-worker/acquaintance of mine and she said "Your breasts are FABULOUS" but it made me feel awkward. What do you say? "Um ya I like them too?".

Don't put your friend in an awkward position just so you're not in one ... it usually backfires.

Good luck :)

Are you positive she had her breasts surgically enlarged? Before kids I was a 36C, pretty average enough. After 3 kids, 4 pregnancies and nursing so many years I've lost count then going through menopause and another health issue I am currently sporting a natural 36G as in (DDDD) yes 4 Ds! No surgery at all! They grew pretty fast and full.
It could be that she got new push up bras or even just bras that fit her properly.
I really wouldn't say anything unless she brings it into conversation.

One piece of advice I would give you is if you do decide to raise the issue, don't do it in public - like I did with someone who surely had a big batch of Botox injected into her face.

'You look great'. If she wants to discuss it that should be enough of an opening.

Nope you treat it like someone who might be pregnant but could be just fat. You don't mention it at all. Let her bring it up if she wants. You say nothing.

I would be horrified if someone said "nice boobs" to me. Then again, I'm not a 12 year old boy - I don't use the word boobs unless I'm talking about socially backward people.

I'd go with "you look great.". Other than that, no comment unless she brings it up.

I like a vague "you look great, how was your Spring Break?" approach.

JMO.

Oh ,I'd have fun with that (those, lol). "Hey, are you stuffing your bra or did you get a boob job?"

"boob jobbers"? Not the best term, considering all the reasons women can have breast augmentation, reduction, reconstruction.

Don't mention it. There's likely a reason she didn't tell you (like she didn't want you to know or didn't have breast augmentation at all).

90% of people I know or see think I have a boob job. I don't. I do have some dense perky boobs.

I was a B cup when I married, during pregnancy I zoomed to DD then crept back to a comfy full C. After hysterectomy and HRT I zoomed up to DD and have been the same since.

I get comments from acquaintances and strangers about who is my Dr. and I just laugh at this point. There was a time I was insulted but I live in Dallas which is a plastic surgery Mecca so I get it.

At this point, it does not bother me if someone asks. I just say thank you to HRT because I do like my new self for the last 12 years with no plastic surgery!! I came out ahead!!

If you're as close to her as you say, she won't be surprised that you mention it. I bet if it's that noticeable... You won't be the first to say something.

Maybe she's hoping it's not as noticeable as it is but is enjoying her new self. Boob jobbers is a little negative because I have more than 1 friend with a boob job due to reconstructive surgery due to cancer.

Tell her she looks good. If she brings up the subject of 'enhancements', you can discuss them, otherwise let the subject drop.

If she didn't discuss the decision with you while planning, I'd say don't mention it. Many of my friends have botox and mommy makeovers and tummy tucks and boob jobs. It's no secret from good friends since they'll see the before and after. It takes major planning and research into doctors and soul-searching to get a boob job. It's not done on a whim. So if she didn't feel comfortable mentioning she was doing it at any point in the past, wait 'til she brings it up. It would have been an easy thing to mention in front of kids when they're distracted if she wanted to. I talk about unspeakable things with other moms while kids run wild all the time!..I guess she couldn't get angry at you if you said, "So I hope this isn't weird, but your boobs are looking awesome lately" in a cheery, silly way. It would be interesting to see how she reacts. Will she ever confess...?

www.zipit.zip.com.net.org

Let her tell you. Wait.

I would definitely follow her cues on this and wait for her to bring it up, if at all. There's nothing wrong with saying, "You look great!", but I would shy away from comments on her breasts and making assumptions about plastic surgery.

When you say 'good friend' you seem to mean you're close and have been through things together. In my world, that means you can be upfront about it. If you had said something like, "You look boobalicious!" right away when you saw her, she'd probably either say it was surgery or a really good bra, and then you'd know.

I have two friends that had surgeries. One had a one-side reconstruction after cancer. She's super open about it and was telling people, "Feel this one, then this one. Can you tell the difference?" LOL

The other one had a reduction. She never hid the intention and has talked about how it improved her life after. Being told she looks fantastic is always welcome. :-)

Now that I'm thinking about it, my close friends don't do stuff like that without mentioning it to me beforehand. Maybe you're not that kind of friends and saying anything so directly would be unwelcome.

How about - your boobs look great. What kind of bra are you using? I'm so in need of something with a lift....