Putting Child in Own Bed

I applaud co-sleeping, and how ever the arrangement that family gets the most sleep is right for your family.

Now on this thought, I wouldn’t change the sleeping arrangements until after he has adjusted to the divorce. It might be too much change at once. In his mind he might be thinking that I’m already loosing one person out of the house I don’t want to let go of the most stable thing in the home. It will probably will set his anxiety & stress levels off the chart.

You might want to Google Co-sleeping or moving a child from the family bed to their own bed. You will find all kinds of idea to try when you are ready and you home situation has become more routine.

Hope this helps.

Someone told me once that, change never happens overnight...so in the spirit of those wise words, maybe a step by step approach might work? I overheard a conversation recently of a mom having the same problem...and she said that she just makes a little bed in the corner of her bedroom and invites her daughter to sleep there if she insists on sleeping in the family bed. The daughter likes it b/c she can still be close to her mom and it's kind of like "camping out." Your son may be a little young for this next tactic, but I read somewhere that some parents offer a limited number of "free passes" every week to sleep in the family bed. They can either use all the passes or, if there's some leftover at the end of the week, the child is rewarded in some way. I thought that was a cute and positive way to institute change. In any case, good luck!

Keep putting him back in his own bed...adventually he will get it...It's a hard week or so but if you feel him crawl in just put him back. Keep walking him back if he won't go to sleep. Come up with a new bed time routine. My son and I brush our teeth together, then read a book, say a prayer, talk a little bit about our day (sometimes that's included in the prayer) and then I give him a hug and a kiss, turn on his night lamp (15 watt light bulb b/c he is extremely afraid of the dark...he even chooses to sleep at the wrong end of the bed so his head can be BY the light), then I shut his door most the way and leave the room. I co-slept with him b/c I was a single mom and a full time student with two jobs and breastfed the first year...so I would fall asleep in the rocking chair with him eating and after that it slowly got to the point that he just slept in my bed almost all night long. At 3 y/o I decided that I needed my whole bed back cause he was tossing and turning too much. So, we did ALL of the above. It took two weeks to really get it down, and since then I have not had any problems at all.

Hello Amy. My 4 y/o is going through the same thing (she wasn't use to sleeping with us, but now she has a fit she doesn't want to sleep alone). When I put her to bed if she is being very difficult I have her lay down herself and then I will lay down with her and within a few min she is asleep. She is having bad dreams lately and will crawl in bed with us and either sleeps at the foot of our bed till daddy goes to work or she makes a bed on our bedroom couch. I think the bed on the floor is a great idea; we use to do that with a sleeping bag. Best of wishes; it will be hard but eventually your hard work will pay off!

Well, Amy, I too am a mom with a child in the bed with us at night.

I have two children. My first was in our bed from 6-18 months and our daughter, since her birth, is still in our bed at 19 months. I get slack from my parents, friends who have read this book and that book, etc, etc, etc. N. one knows your child like you do. Do what is right for you and your child, not what was right for someone else and their child.

That being said I have two thoughts to share with you.

1. We have a twin bed with a trundle bed that slides under it. If finances allow, this might be a good tool for you. Maybe (though cramped) you could sleep in your child's room, in the destination bed for a bit. Then, the child could sleep in the destination bed and you could sleep in the trundle (closeby but separate). The benefit of a trundle bed beyond this exercise: great for sleepovers but allows you to not consume the room with a full/queen bed.

2. Though I don't normally watch the nanny shows, I did happen to catch one and it just happened to be on bedtime problems. The recommendation for getting the child to go to sleep in the crib/bed was to sit next to them in their room until the go to sleep. This included listening to the child screaming that he wanted out of the crib - ugh. Anyway, each week, the parent position in the room changed. The first week it was seated next to the crib, even holding hands or having a hand on the child's belly for comfort. The second week it was seated in a chair in the room. The third week it was seated in the threshold of the doorway. The story did follow this process and it did work for them.

I did happen to read the recommendation from another mom that the parent separation and the bed issue may not be nice to pair together and may make this an even larger struggle. I have to agree. My son has special needs and one of the questions they always ask on questionaires and forms for preschool and medical visits is whether or not there have been any significant family changes - divorce, death in family, a move. These do effect children in often severe ways. Heck, they stress out the parents, so we need to understand that stress is pretty universal. So, I'd have to agree with that other mom that this may not be the right time to try this.

Hope any bit of this was helpful. Best wishes,
S. :)

I had that problem too, and I heard about a book called Good Night, Sleep Tight by author Kim West. This book really helped out my husband and I with our daughter. Kim West appeared on the Dr. Phil show, I watched this show and immediately went to buy the book. This book gives advice from the smaller babies to kids up to 5 years old. Good luck!

My son Jonathan is 5 years old. and he still sneaks in bed with us at night.. but what i do to get him into bed is turn on the radio for him and he has a night light, that will usually help him stay in his room but when he wakes up in the middle of the night he is right back in bed with us.. so wish i could help you on this one but im trying to figure it out myself :)