Question About Discipline at 4 Year Old's Daycare

I don't think getting to go on a field trip should be based on what they eat. That seems a little extreme to me. I could understand if it was based on behavior.

I'm with your hubby on this one. If your child was expecting to go (and you paid!!!) I would expect him to go. Some other form of discipline should have been used. Additionally, as a parent, I would expect my child to be on the field trip. I want to know where he is. Suppose you heard about a wreck with a daycare bus, you would freak out knowing your child may be on there. (I know, an extreme example). My point is, you should be notified if your child was not permitted to go on the trip.

I work in day care, and if I'm not mistaken, it is against day care laws to use food as punishment (either witholding food or punishing for not eating) We do ask the children to take 3 bites before deciding that they don't like something, but I know if I don't like a certain food I'm not going to eat it. Children also have tastes of their own. Still encourage children to taste the same thing later because tastes can change over time, but never force them to eat or punish for not eating.

Sounds a bit extreme to me...

Dear B.,
I have never worked in a daycare, but I've worked at camps. Children are always "bonkers" on field trip days because the leaders/teachers are pressured, everyone is excited, and the routine has changed!
The daycare staff should be experienced enough to be able to anticipate these patterns.
If the field trip was supposed to happen, it needs to have continued to happen.

That is ridiculous!! I work in a daycare and have for most all my life...I've never heard of anyone doing that. You should talk to the director about that & if she agrees with the policy, it would be time to look elsewhere. I mean, what else goes on there that you might not know about! That is pathetic they did that...I'm was so shocked when I read about your issue!

B.,

I beleive that this teacher was wrong. She had no right to correct the children in this manner. She had permission from all the parents for the children to go. She should have sent notes home with the children to inform the parents of what happened. Not eating thier vegetables at lunch does not constitute leaving a child back at that age. If they were older, I could see that type of discipline but ONLY IF THE PARENT AGREES. The teacher had no right to make that decision on her own for that many children. I would check out the discipline policies of this daycare. Sounds like this daycare person is being to extreme.

So what happens for the next field trip when they don't eat thier vegetables, will she hold them back again after you have paid for it and given permission? So the child or children are never to go on the field trips because they didn't eat one thing at lunch?

E.

Well, I do the same thing with my son. If he doesn't do what he is supposed to- say finish his dinner- the he doesn't get to do that something extra special. I think I am with you on this one...

First I would want to know what was said. Is that the normal rule? Did they say everyone must eat or you don't get to go on the trip and you don't get a tree? Every kid I taught but maybe one would have done that request knowing the consequence. If it was made known, then he shouldn't have gotten to go. As a teacher, I would have made some way to let him go, but just not get the tree. As a teacher I can't imagine only allowing 2 students from my class to go because the others all disobeyed. This teacher may very well need some kind of behavior management. Only having 2 children behave appropriately is not acceptable.

Second, teaching children to eat everything on there plate is sooo bad for their overall health. Something like 4 more bites would be much better, and still a consequence can be given if they don't follow that.

Good luck!
Amanda

So you suppose the kids were acting up because they were excited about going on the field trip? Have you talked to your son about the episode and asked him about his explanation of it?

** (The following was initially posted prior to reading response.)First of all, as others have mentioned, you paid for your son to go on this field trip and only TWO out of the whole got to go? All the rest of the kids didn't eat their veggies so they were punished for it? Doesn't something there strike you as wrong? Now, obviously, on the face of it, this is a much bigger deal to the adults than the kids. Those other than the "chosen two" had a nice day despite not going to the tree farm. The adventure they missed was undoubtedly a greater disappointment to the parents. So don't worry too much about that. But, if there was a fee paid for the trip, you do need to be reimbursed for that.
"YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PUDDING UNLESS YOU EAT YOUR MEAT!"
"YOU CAN'T GO TO THE CHRISTMAS TREE FARM UNLESS YOU EAT YOUR VEGGIES!"
Food should never be used as a punishment or bribe to obtain a specific behavior from a child. This establishes a wrong attitude about food in general and can create unrealistic or inappropriate expectations/relationship for the child as he or she grows older. He will begin to view food as an emotional object to reward him when he is feeling up or as consolation when he is down. You might want to discuss this with the child care staff and let them know they are not to use this form of control with your son. Let them know that, in the future, when he is expecting a field trip and you have paid for it you will expect him to go unless he is ill or there is some other major problem not directly involving him.

Now, that being said, I'll go a little off-topic: There is no fault in the child care staff encouraging your son and the other children to eat their veggies. They just chose the wrong way (and, btw after the fact - the wrong time) of going about it. And you do want to encourage him to eat his vegetables at home. If he is basically a "meat and potatoes man" and will eat only potatoes and peas as his vegetables of choice you probably want to begin expanding his menu to include more "exotic?" vegetable options, like green beans, broccoli, spinach, sweet potatoes, squash, eggplant, etc. Some, he may decide he likes, others, maybe not - at least right now. And you may have to ivestigate new and interesting ways to prepare foods to make them more palatable to a four year old. (Adding cheese and 'crumblies' to a broccoli-cauliflower casserole, for instance; or chopping eggplant and baking it in tomato sauce to a crispy consistency.) You know what your son likes so pander to his preferences while giving him new foods.

People's tastes change, both in fashion and in food. And this includes kids. Keep encouraging your son to try new foods. Prepare different vegetables on a regular basis and keep introducing him to a variety of flavors and tastes. Don't stress over him eating these new foods but, if he balks, make it clear to him that he needs to try at least a bite of the new menu item or he won't know if he likes green eggs and ham or not. But you shouldn't worry about him not eating different vegetables... and neither should his child care center. That responsibility is yours, not theres. If they cannot agree with your stipulations, be looking for a child care center whose views are more in line with your own.

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