Question About Postpartum Depression

I know this is kind of late but just wondering if you got any help? If you still need help let me know...

I would call my OB. I remember being asked at every post-pardum check up how I was feeling emotionally and if I was feeling down, tired or frustrated. A strained marriage can also cause these symptoms too, so I would definately call my doctor, if you feel more comfortable talking to your family doctor, they can handle it too. Go to the doctor that you are most comfortable discussing this with, but go soon before it gets worse!

If you think you have postpartum, find someone to talk to! I started with my OB and had them refer me to a someone figuring they would know some good Dr.s in town. The pyschologist then reported back to my OB. If you are in the GR area, Spectrum Hospital as Postpartum groups that you can take part in. They even gave me a little 'test' that I could use to measure my level of depression before I left the hospital and anytime I felt I needed to once I got home. Just something to gauge how I was feeling and if it was depression or just a bad day.

If you go to http://www.spectrum-health.org/cs/Satellite?c=eHA_Content...
there is a list of services (I believe all free) as well as that self-assessment that I was talking about. The link to the self-assessment is the 4th link down near the middle/right side of the page.

J.

I had it mild after my 2nd by my third it was full fledge. I called my insurance company and asked which sychologist to go to. They gave me about 5 that took my insurance and I have been seeing her since my daught paige was not even one and she has done alot for me. Plus I sat down and had a huge heart to heart with my husband. Not putting th blame on him or my self. I am a mother of 4 children I am not on any medications either. Never was I also read by eckhardt toll Lifes purpose. That helped to if your open minded. I would read it though till after you start talking to someone. Remember you are going to see this person for you not your husband. But if the sychologist feels your husband needs to come in see if hes game. Mine was not and I respected him for that and reality it wasn't about him as much as me. Your best friend is suppose to be your husband thats one reason why you married him so if you can't talk to him theres a big problem there. My husband is King of distance and being quiet and to himself and very non communicating with me. So I hear and see where your comming from. But if you feel you are this way go get the help you need for you and your children. Take care an your are awesome for detecting it. Most woman can't or have a hard time detecting it.

Dear R. -

Believe me, you are not alone. I admire your courage when I read your descriptions of your children. Please check in with your OB-GYN.

You deserve to find out what's going on with you physically and emotionally. That means GO TO YOUR DOCTOR AND GET TESTED.

The best way for you to care for your children is to care for yourself.

Good luck!

I would say that even if it isnt postpartum, it wouldnt hurt to talk to someone, just to be sure and at the very least to provide extra support to you as a wife and mother. Being frustrated and stressed in those roles is normal, but it is also helpful sometimes to share that with someone.
I recommend speaking with your doctor, but I also want you to be aware that there are programs out there to support you...I work for a non profit agency that among other things has a program called "Partnering with Parents" it designed for moms just like you with children under the age of six, a therapist can be the extra support for you, whether you are technically postpartum or not. The care provided is in the home so you dont have to worry about taking little ones out in the winter! We accept most insurances, medicaid, and no insurance...I urge you to check it out (confidential, of course) and see if its something that'd suit you & yours.
Hope this helps!
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starfishonline.org

I would definitely talk to your PCP. He/she could then further refer you. But I would also relate what you did here, that you're feeling stressed about your relationship. Your hubby could be a percentage correct. But maybe he isn't. I would definitely NOT take anti depressants straight away. I would see if there's more a psychological basis to your situation. Because IS hubby doing his fair share? IS there reason to think he's been neglected? IS there balance between you as far as parental obligations and responsibilities? It isn't all JUST your job. I get the feeling he is projecting his guilt (for not being around as much to fulfill his fatherly duties) onto you. It's a defense mechanism that's totally possible. Are you two allowing yourselves enough time together? Try and have a talk with him first, your PCP second, and any further doctor third.

I had a baby a year ago in Oct and seven months later felt just how you are feeling. Relationship wise and tired and just down. I went to the ob and she did say it was PPD. I was surprised but I was kinda glad to hear her say it. She did perscribe Welburin... after a month I didn't feel any better so I talked to the ob and I stopped taking it and started taking a natural supliment that has done wonders. Marriage issues are still there but I have the energy to at least think straight.

I switched to 5-HTP and L-Tyrosine. If you take it with calcium and a good multivitamin it is best. If you google these things you will see that they are a natural form of an antidepressant. There is more info I could share if interested.

You may also want to talk to someone like a councellor, pastor or a close friend. It is important to talk to someone else to get it off your chest and to get another perspective.

Blessings to you.

See your Ob immediately. Even if it's not PPD, it's better to find out one way or another. I had PPD after my 3rd. child and kept ignoring it until I finally just fell apart. I'm so sorry I waited.

Hi there. You are not alone. I have 4 kids 8y.o. son, 5y.o. daughter, 4y.o. daughter, and 3y.o. son. After I had my 3rd child I started to feel the way you are. I just pushed it off as being tired with an infant and 2 other kids. Then a year went by and I got pregnant with my 4th. After I had him it got worse. My husband and I stopped talking, he started not coming home until everyone was in bed. After about 7 months of this he decided he was leaving and moved out. I then went to counseling and to see my regular doctor. She put me on medicine for the depression and going to counseling helped a lot. My husband is now back home and we are working on our marriage. Things have gotten a lot better between the two of us. I'm not taking meds anymore. I have started getting up early and working out. I have been watching what I eat and accepting myself for who I am. It is a long journey to get back to normal. The longer you wait to see a doctor about it. It will just keep getting worse. Your husband noticed yours. So, it wouldn't hurt to go and see your regular doctor. You may or may not need counseling, they recommend it because it can help you talk to someone who knows what your situation is.

It is all very hard to swallow, I know. I stayed in denial for about 3 years until I got help. I almost lost my marriage because I wouldn't see what was going on. My mom told me what it was and I denied it. I'm probably not helping you any. I just thought I would let you know about my experience with post-partum. It is very difficult to handle. Just know that you are not alone. Many women experience it after childbirth. It is normal to go through baby blues. I think that may have passed for you though. That is just like the first month I believe.

My suggestion is call a doctor and talk with them. Start finding things you like to do and be positive. Start focusing on your kids and keeping them moving. Start talking with your husband about your feelings. Ask him how he feels and how he feels about it. Include him in the things you are going through. I didn't do that with my husband. Believe me, my husband hates confrontation. So, if he can avoid talking he will do it at all costs. He is getting better though. So, with a lot of work and positive thinking things do get better. Sometimes they get worse before getting better. It takes time and prayer. I will pray for you and your family.

If you need to vent or anything feel free to email me.

A Little about me: SAHM of 4 wonderful kids 8,5,4, and 3. They are the light of my life. I have been married to my wonderful husband for 6 1/2 years. He is my soul mate.

I had terrible ppd with my third. Little did I know, having a c-sec made me a sitting duck for it (already had it mildly with the first two). I called one of the OBs in the office and she said "I think you are doing an amazing job, and besides, the medicines take a few weeks to work so they won't do you any good.". Seriously...that's what she said! So, I wound up feeling even worse. I finally called MY OB and just flat out told him I thought I was going crazy. He listened and prescribed medication that I still take today (just a different form). PPD is real and it often goes undiagnosed b/c moms think "it couldn't be, Im not depressed". Im not saying you are, but you deserve to feel better so you should explore the possibility. Hormones are strong things...it's what makes us male and female (for the most part)...if that's not proof that they can control your emotions I don't know what is! :) Call the doc and keep calling!

I rec'd a devotional book for couples, quite coincidentally the same time my third son was born. It was a marriage saver and it helped my PPD. It gave me one thing to focus my thoughts on per day (or week, whatever) and just so happened that the 'one thing' was a positive goal in my marriage. I sat my hubby down and told him that I was going to really lean on him for emotional support over the next couple of months, and also shared the book with him. That way, he knew not only what I was feeling, but that I didn't want to feel bad and I was trying to get better.

Bottom line is, you don't have to feel this way. I feel like myself again and Im SOOO glad I had the guts to tell EVERYBODY I knew that I was suffering...they really wanted to help. We moms tend to push our feelings under the rug and not let anybody see our struggle...but it's not necessary. You are so wise to post your question and start the process! Kudos to you....it will get better!

~L.

I agree with Jennifer....start with yuour ob, although they may tell you to see your regular dr. I struggled with this with my 2nd child unneccessarily long before doing something because like you, I wasn't sure if that is what it was. They put me on a very mild dose of zoloft, and it was AMAZING how different and better I felt! It was so worth it. For my 3rd the ob prescribed it for me to pre-fill and start taking a week before I delivered...NO problems at all with her. I am due in another 6 weeks with #4, and will be doing the same thing again. It doesn't make you weak, or a bad person to seek out help...it makes you human, and a better one at that. Check out the support groups too. It can only help, and the people there are going through the same thing. Just an added note, I was breastfeeding, and worried about it the first time unnecessairly. I was reassured by by OB, Ped, and PCP, that it was okay. Please don't wait to get help. You will be amazed at how much it helps! Good luck to you!

First... you have ALOT on your plate. You have a 2 year old and a newborn. That is enough to zap anyones energy!!! Talk about little to no sleep!!!

Sleep deprivation can cause depresssion. And then if you are having marital problems...that will just add to it.

First, start with your OB.
Second, talk with your husband. DO NOT let him push off your marital problems on any possible depression you may be experiencing. That is NOT cool. You're depression is one issue. Your marriage is another. Both need to be dealt with. It takes 2 to make a marriage.

It is possible you are dealing with some mild depression. As I said, sleep deprivation can play a big part, as can having a baby particularly since your mom had ppd. BUT that does NOT mean that either you or your husband can ignore your marital problems. Even if you are feeling GREAT that will not solve basic communication issues or other marital problems you and your husband are having.

So, start with your OB talk to him/her about your symptoms and go from there. You may also want to seek out a counselor to talk about some of the other issues.

I experienced the same thing with my last child. I was going thru some marital issues, and probably that in combination with all the hormones I was facing, had me experiencing some unmanageable emotions that was making all our lives unbearable. One day I couldn't take it anymore so I called my doctor's office (just my primary physician's). I went in and talked with him and he was able to offer advice and prescribe some medication that helped.

Just call your physician's office and make an appt, or ask to talk with the nurse first if you have questions. It may be something termporary, or more underlying. Maybe you might want to ask your husband to come to a counselor with you. You could say that you need to go, but it would help you if he came with you. (I did that too).

R. K.,

I believe you may be exhausted taking care of your little ones and if you are extremely tired, you can't deal with things in a rational way as you were if you were well rested. Every woman has crazy hormones for a while after giving birth because your body has to get used to the idea of not being pregnant after being pregnant for so long. I would talk to your regular doctor and just say what your symptoms are. You may be allowed to call in but most want you to go in for an office visit.

L. C.

I found myself having a much harder time after the birth of my second child. I think that there is more stress placed on the entire family including dad. I think it is great that you are in tune to yourself and how you feel.

I found it helpful to talk to other moms who felt the same way and to find some time to do a few things just for me without the kids. My husband and I also started to find time just for us by spending a weekend afternoon together and getting a sitter for the kids. It is kind of nice to go out during the day when both of us were not so tired. You actually can talk to one another without interruptions and it allows for both of you to get out.

Hang in there!

I think you're right. There's more than one thing going on. You could talk to either one of your doctors as an initial step. You may or may not need an anti-depressant. PPD can surface quite awhile after a birth. I think marriage counseling and/or counseling for yourself would be very helpful in sorting this all out, and getting you and hubby on a better plane communication-wise. I do think he's not wanting to look at his part in all this, as you suggested, but that's the way a lot of guys deal with this stuff initially. Challenge him to go to marriage counseling with you. You may only need a few sessions. Check with your insurance to see if it covers any mental healthy visits. You could look for a counselor who would open a case for you and then include hubby in some of the sessions after things seem clearer. Just a suggestion!

Good for you for being pro-active about this. There's help out there. Don't just suffer silently and maybe get worse. Reach out for professional help. Even a little help may fix things. You never know till you try! Good luck, R.!

Dont wait. Call your OB and schedule an appointment. Even if there is any question you want a professional opinion on this. Tell him/her everything you are feeling, stress, frustration, relationship problems etc. Even if it is just your husbands imagination, (its also possible he could be making it worse for you) you want a professional to diagnose this.

If this is the problem, the simple solution (usually pills for about 6 months) make a world of difference. Night and Day for most people. Its worth checking out.

HI!
I had mild PPD with my first, EXTREME with my second. I have been on Zoloft (50mg) since I had my son (he is 9 years old). I even took it during my pregnancy with my 3rd. I am telling you - it has been a lifesaver!!! When I first got on depression medication, they put me on Prozac, but that was causing me to lose hair - which is one of the 'bad' things about that drug, so he switched me to Zoloft. I got mine thru my OBGYN. GOOD LUCK!!!!