Hey guys I am asking a question on here for my girlfriend. She doesn't want to sign up here so I'm doing a favor. Her and her bf had their first big fight last weekend and he left but then came back the following day. His birthday is this Friday and she was going to throw him a birthday party. Her problem is that his best friend was going to detour him while she got things ready and all of his friends there. Now his bff wont answer her emails or phone calls for her to check and see if its still a go. Should she still have the party for him and do you think his bff told him about the suprise party. He went and stayed with his bff when he left her for the night. She wants to but is unsure if he knows about it or not and now his bff seems to not reply so she wanted to know what you guys thought.
/
I wonder if the BFF is not responding because the BF told him he was going to break-up with her...That would put him in a weird position, wouldn't it? What he is suppose to do? I think this is between her and the BF. Leave the BFF aside, it's not his job to be in the middle.
My 2 cents!
I think that the BFF told the BF about the surprise party and that is why he came back the next day...so he could get a party out of it. That's just my thought. Either way, I wouldn't throw him a party; it doesn't sound like it's a good time for a party. Obviously, something must have been said to the BFF by the BF and maybe the BFF doesn't want to get in the middle of it so he isn't returning her calls.
M
This all sounds so junior high-ish. I guess tell the boyfriend about the party and don't have it be a surprise. But this relationship sounds doomed anyway.
Did he badmouth her to his bff? If so, then she shouldn't throw him a party. There are things you can't take back and I would really wonder what his BFF's opinion of your friend is right now. And if he has a low opinion of her, it's because the boyfriend made that happen. Is anyone who defames you worth throwing a party for?
Ok, her BF's BFF is undependable. If she still wants to throw the party then she should tell her BF that it was gonna be a surprise but his BFF is not responding. As a side bar and I know you didn't ask but, why would she want to throw him a party when they had their FIRST fight and his reaction is to leave for the night? Only worse things are going to come if she doesn't resolve with him that grown ups don't walk away because there is a conflict. IMO
If her heart is in it I would still pick up a cake and MAYBE something nice for dinner. I wouldn't go out of the way. I would NOT try to make it a surprise party anymore. I would ask him if he had plans for his birthday, because she was trying to plan something for it. Act like its not a big deal.
If people had RSVP'd, I would call them and see if they were still coming. If they all know that there was a fight, they may be wondering if the party is still on, be afraid to just show up, etc.
M.
It's up to her as to whether or not she should throw the party. If she decides to do it, I would tell the boyfriend about the party, explain that it was supposed to have been a surprise, but in light of the situation she filled him in!
Well - if their relationship is sound or she really wants to go out on a limb then she should have the party - but let him know in advance as mentioned in another post. SHe should also let him the reason why - that his friend is not responding - to me that is a red flag on the relationship - what did he say to his friend that he is suddenly not returning her calls?
I wish her luck!
That's a lot of drama. She should just talk to her boyfriend and be honest with him about the situation.
I don't think I would throw the party. But that's just me.
They had a big fight last weekend and he left but then came back the following day. It doesn't sound like she can count on his best friend to participate if he won't even return her calls or e-mails. At the very least, the surprise element is gone whether or not his friend told him about the party. It seems to be the guy would at least say it's not a surprise anymore and the cat's out of the bag.
I guess she should talk to her boyfriend and tell him that she's wanting to plan a party and was hoping it could be a surprise, but that doesn't seem to be working out and see what the boyfriend says. If boyfriend says, "My friends already have a party set up for me...." that would explain why his bff isn't getting back to her about helping with her plans.
She can tell her boyfriend "So and so was supposed to help me make this a surprise, but he's not speaking to me, so I guess the surprise is out of the question."
If she gets any himming or hawing about the party, she should call it off and make plans for her girlfriends instead.
Boyfriend might have gone to his bff and griped about her after the fight and bff doesn't want in the middle of it.
She can tell her boyfriend what her plans were and if he blows her off.....she knows no party is necessry.
That's just my opinion. I know she wants to do something nice for him, but maybe now isn't the right time.
No she shouldn't throw the party. it sounds like he left her. Should they get back together then she can. I just don't think now is the time.
I thought a bff was a "best female friend".... am I out of the loop an don't know my text terms, or could there be more to this?
