Question for Those of You Who Are on Facebook

Updated on March 27, 2012
L.M. asks from Hartly, DE
23 answers

Have any of you FB moms ever had a "friend suggestion" for someone that you don't know, lives on a completely different side of the country from you, and have no friends or history that overlaps? What I mean is...no work history, education, friends, hobbies etc in common and yet either you are suggested as a friend for them or vice versa. And, if so, is it ok/safe to correspond with that person?

I am asking because it has apparently happened and someone has contacted me. It seems innocent enough but you just can't be too careful these days. They didn't send a friend request but rather a message. I asked if I knew them because honestly, their picture looked a bit familiar. Said they were new to FB and my profile popped up as a suggestion. I normally don't befriend those I don't know either but I also don't get suggestions for those I don't know unless we have friends or some history in common.

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So What Happened?

I just want to reiterate...they haven't sent a friend request. I am asking if anyone else has gotten the suggested friends when you have NOTHING in common (like friends, interests, etc) to have prompted it.

ADDED - no this person has no friends in common w/ me so they weren't suggested by a friend of either of us.

Updated...I did initially reply but did not "friend". I don't get super personal on FB but still, for safety sake and kids pics etc, I opted to email instead. Seems like a nice person and I used an email account that I don't really use for anything else. I think I've made a nice new friend but still being safe. Thanks everyone.

Featured Answers

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

that happens when Facebook uses it's data processing to produce "things" it believes you have in common.

I choose to ignore those suggestions.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Nope and I don't befriend people I don't know. Not because I am paranoid about being safe or whatnot, but simply because that's not how I use facebook. For me it's strictly about staying in touch with friends and family....
I don't even friend coworkers...

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B..

answers from Dallas on

It's a really good idea not to "friend" people you don't know. Security is so shoddy on facebook, I would never want to risk it.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I totally ignore strange requests. I don't want to give them access to my profile by responding.

2 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Bangor on

Sometimes facebook will suggest friends based on you liking the same page. I would suggest that if you have a lot of personal information, not to friend the person (sorry if that sounds snobby). I, like you, tend to want to be careful with who I connect with.

Personally, I have 2 facebook accounts. One with all my personal information that ONLY has my close friends and family, as most of them live in different states. I have a second one for games, groups, etc. with a fake name and a computer-generated picture that I add anybody to. Its my way of being able to be involved in more without having everybody access all my private info.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

No, I would never respond or befriend a stranger.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't friend people I don't know. I also don't friend people I do know - but not well. I don't even friend people I went to high school with unless we were/are actually friends.

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K.C.

answers from New York on

If I don't know the person, I click ignore.

In fact, a girlfriend's male friend asked to be friends w/ me. They don't talk anymore. I have no reason to converse with him, so I clicked ignore.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Yes, I've had multiple friend suggestions of those I don't know, and about five friend requests from people I don't know, and I don't know why they found me.

I do not "friend" people I don't know personally. This is my choice.

I know some people who "friend" anyone who looks interesting to them, or people they have a single conversation with on the subway. I think it is entirely up to your comfort level. ^_^

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Personally, the only people I friend on Facebook are people I actually know. I don't friend friends of friends unless I actually know the friend. I try not to divulge info on Facebook but still what I do share is meant for friends. I would only friend him on a separate facebook acct that you use only for that and there is nothing personal on.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Oh yeah -FB uses algorithms that spit this stuff out. Just ignore them. I also NEVER accept a friend request from someone I don't know. In your situation, I would just say, "Sorry, I only friend people I know."

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M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

My facebook takes email addresses that one time ten years ago I may have sent something to and suggests them as friends. Like my college advisor. And my VA benefits advisor. It also suggests friends taken from other friends profiles that do not have their privacy settings up high enough. It's never an actual request, just a suggested friend. If you are getting messages, it could be random, but it could be you are a friend of a friend (ten degrees of seperation) and your name popped up so they decided to see if they knew you.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Yes, sometimes if you have the same interest etc.. FB will suggest people. Just ignore them. Not a big deal.

1 mom found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I have never been friended by someone that is not friends with one of my friends (huh?! lol) A lot of times I see the suggestion and think, "why? I don't know them!"
That's how I roll on FB. I have lots of family on and only about 10 people that are friends. I don't need to have a bunch of people that I barely know or went to high school with.
L.

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S.E.

answers from New York on

i know tons of people who have people on their friends list and dont even know who they are they just get the request and add them... iv had people suggested on my fb that i have no idea who they are but they always have at least one person on their list that i also have .. its kinda wierd that theyd b suggested to you if u have no friends in common... i dont see the point in adding people you dont know.. theres even people that i do know who they are from school but iv never even talked to.. i dont bother adding them either

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M.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I would never even respond to a message of someone I didn't know. I'm not sure it still works this way, but it used to be that if you responded to a message from someone who was not your friend, then that person had access to your page for 30 days as if they were your friend.

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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

those friend suggestions come from your friend's. For example, say "mary" from high school, friended you, and you accepted, of course high school was eons ago and you don't really know her too well anymore, so of course you don't know all of her friends either. Well, FB will suggest her friends to you, thinking that you might know them, when you actually don't. I just ignore those, and I will admit, they are annoying! lol...

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I'd ask the mutual friend who suggested the connection. They may have clicked on the wrong person accidentally, they may have a different motive, who knows.

I had one come up a while back and I had no idea who she was. I contacted our mutual friend who told me the girl and I had played softball together for several years. She was going by her middle name as an adult and was married....I remembered her slightly and sent the suggested friend a message that X had suggested her for a friend. I told her I played a lot of games on FB and a little about myself. I told her if she'd like to be friends then to please except my friend request. If not the to please just ignore it.

Come to find out we both do a lot of the same hobbies and crafts plus play almost the same games on FB....it has been fun. Of course we don't correspond and visit but it's a slight connection that ended up working out.

Then there has also been a few that there was no interest at all on my part. A friend just clicked on everyone that was a friend and there was no possible connection. Like their high school friends and such. I did not know them or their families and could live without teenage angst.

I say contact the mutual friend and find out if the even realized the clicked that or if they had some idea you two might have some sort of mutual interest.

D.D.

answers from New York on

Yes I have and I just ignore it. FB seems to think I need a lot more friends than I already have.

I've run into the issue of getting friend requests from people I don't know. Those I block because it's kind of creepy.

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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I usually check out their profile and Wall posts to see if they would be someone I would want to "friend" then send them an email if I like what I read. The majority of the time, I admit, I just delete them.

Nanc

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E.S.

answers from New York on

Sooo glad I don't have FB!

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

Nope... I don't become friends with ANYONE on facebook I don't know.. and my whole page is totally private, unless you're my friend...

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

I've recently had two different (young) fellows send me a message to
be friends with me. One said he liked my profile (I hardly have anything
on there) and also asked "sorry, are you married?". I am....so forget
about him.......I certainly will not respond to him!!!

I don't recognize either of these guys names or photos! Yuck.

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