Ready to Lose Nap? Please Help!

Updated on March 24, 2009
M.T. asks from Cary, NC
15 answers

Hello everyone.
My son is 3 y/o and 4 months. He is generally very good natured and sweet. Since he was born I was able to get him on a schedule (routine rather) without a problem and have kept it up until now because I believe children thrive on routine plus it provides them with stability. Up until now, the routine has been a bath after lunch and then quiet time in his room until he'd fall asleep. I would sometimes get up to 2 1/2 hours depending on what we have been doing during the day. For the last two weeks he has been fighting and refusing his nap and quiet time and wants to get out of his room. It is so obvious that he is tired and could use a nap and on those days he does nap I notice a huge difference in his behavior. It is very hard to deal with him on those days he's cranky.
My question is whether I should give up on his naps and quiet time and if so, then what would be your suggestion. There's so much outdoor play, crafts, art, toys you can do, kwim? I stay home with him and take care of the house. My husband helps a lot, but it seems there is always something that needs to be done.

Please help.
TIA

mt

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S.B.

answers from Nashville on

I have noticed with each of my boys that the older they get the less they tend to nap. Now this may be differant with each child. With age they tend to want to pay more attention to things around them. You may have to play with him more to make him tired before the meal and the nap.

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C.C.

answers from Knoxville on

He is probably going through a transitional stage, where he just doesn't need AS MUCH rest in the afternoon - although he still obviously needs the rest. I would suggest you continue with the quiet time in his room but put a limit on it. Tell him he has to play quietly in his room for a certain amount of time, and if he plays quietly for that time he can come out. He may still go to sleep but even if he doesn't at least he will get some rest. I did that with both my boys and it worked pretty well. I actually told them they had to play IN THEIR BED - look at books or bring some of their smaller toys into the bed with them.
You may also want to try changing his bedtime to an earlier time on the days he doesn't nap. You just have to experiment until you find what works for him NOW.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.W.

answers from Wheeling on

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!! I vote keep the nap. All kids go through phases. I have an almost 4 year old and a 5 year old. They go to daycare and have naptime everyday. They don't always nap, but the rest (and routine) is good. They don't like to nap for me on the weekends, but I still make them have quiet time and lay down in their beds. Sometimes they sleep, sometimes they don't, but at least I have a few minutes to myself (selfish I know, but sometimes mommy needs a nap too).

With Summer coming, one thing you could do is change the routine some. Maybe change bathtime to at night and play outside during the time you would normally do bathtime. That way he will be tired for naptime and the bath may settle him down for bed (plus be clean).

If he doesn't get a nap everyday, don't worry. Kids will sleep if they are tired. Have fun with him, he will nap less as he gets older, but leave the option in to have a nap because there will be days you need it more than him.

Good luck.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

hate to say it but sounds like the little guy is ready to give it up. but your right at this age they do get very grumpy without enough sleep. try putting him to bed an hour later. good luck

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R.J.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My 5 year old still has quiet time at least an hour and a half a day and 4 out of 7 days he actually sleeps. Sleep and down time is to important.

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E.F.

answers from Louisville on

Kids get a big burst of energy at that age. This is when a lot of mothers decide it's time for preschool. School is very stimulating and will really wear him out.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

If you see that he is still needing his naps then you need to continue to lay him down. You may need to start a new routine. My daughter who is the same age tries to get out of her naps, she will lay in her room and make me think she is sleeping but an hour later she comes out and I can tell she has not slept. They are old enough to understand what you are telling them to do. I would start by taking something away that he likes. My daughter knows that on days she does not take a nap, there is no tv. That is something she really likes. Other days I bribe her with something when she wakes up. She likes lollipops so I tell her if she takes a nap, she can have a lollipop when she wakes up. All of these work for me but if your son is stubborn, you need to find something that will work for him. Maybe send him to bed earlier at night than normal and no book or maybe no dessert after dinner. Maybe in your new routine you read a short book while he falls asleep. Maybe you tell him you will be back to check on him in 10 mins and if he is not asleep you will take way his favorite toy, etc Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

My SIL's 3 kids who are 7, 5 and 3 still do "rest" time (they say nap time is for babies:))in the afternoon. She tells them they do not have to sleep but they are not allowed to get out of the room till she comes and gets them. On some days they all fall asleep, on most they don't, but this way she still gets things done. For our 4 year old son we only give him naps if we will be out with the kids in the evening time, otherwise we do not even bother since he stays up till 11pm if he takes a nap:)

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S.D.

answers from Nashville on

We struggle with nap time with our 4 year old. I have found that playing outside seems to help. It wears him out more and he naps easier. Driving him around the block works too when he is fighting a nap. Laying down with him until he falls asleep has worked too. When my son doesn't take a nap he falls asleep at about 6 or 7 p.m. and then sleeps through the night. He misses seeing the rest of the family in the evening when he does that. Or he is awake until bedtime and crabby. My other three children napped until they were in kindergarten. I think my son still needs that afternoon nap. I am trying really hard to keep him napping until he starts kindergarten.

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L.W.

answers from Rocky Mount on

Hi M.:
I have a 3 yr old gson and I can relate to nap time... when hes with me on the wknds I tell him ok its rest time and I go put him on my bed and cut his John Deere movie on and most of the time he will fall asleep and then there are somedays he will fight it, but I explain to him that everything needs a rest time especially if we want to be able to play thru the day that I bodies need rest so we will have that energy to play with our toys and play outside when we get up.. I say you dont have to go to sleep but you do have to lay here and watch your movie and rest and he always goes to sleep anyways.... hope it helps... get him a favorite stuffed animal, my gson has his prayer bear and sock monkey and Ill say see they are resting too, they know they need there rest so they can play too.... :)

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A.A.

answers from Fayetteville on

girl I know I have two boys and my youngest is very active. I have different like stations set up in the house so he can find something to do like play doh at the table, legos in the living room and his barbeque play set in the kitchen. It does seem like there is always something to be done. I know with my first son and other children as they get older their naps get shorter.They grow most rapidly for the first three years and sleep is less frequent because their growing has slowed. Maybe he could have quiet time playing play doh or laying on the couch watching a learning cartoon.And if he lay's down long enough and is tired he will fall asleep. If you can just get them to relax long enough to fall asleep.

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M.N.

answers from Nashville on

I would think if he's still really cranky when he doesn't get a nap, then he might still need one.
All children are different with regards to when to drop the nap. Some are ready in their twos, others really struggle in kindergarten without a nap.
Regardless, your son should still have an allotted quiet time, so you can take care of what you need to around the house/ for yourself.
Best of luck!

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C.A.

answers from Raleigh on

My daughter is eight years old now. But when she was three years old she cried alot not wanting to take naps. Sometimes she would cry herself to sleep. Finally she took the naps on her own. Even to this day she will take a nap when she gets real tired. Plus she is a asthma patient.
BE BLESSED
C. L. TAYLOR-AUTRY

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K.P.

answers from Fayetteville on

My son was ready to stop taking naps around that age. To me, it wasn't worth the struggle of trying to get him to go down. I often lost as much time as I gained while he slept. The first week or so he was crabby but he eventually adjusted and slept longer at night, which gave me more time to sleep in as well! Yes, I don't have that time in the afternoon, but we also don't have to schedule our day around a nap which is convenient also.

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S.R.

answers from Chattanooga on

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough go of it lately. My son (the oldest) is 3.5 years old. He has reached the point that he sometimes does not need a nap. But he shows that he truly doesn't need it by behaving. On those days, I just ask him to play quietly while his sister takes a nap. If he is misbehaving or acting tired, he has to take a nap, regardless of whether he wants to. He and his sister nap in the same room. He has learned that he MUST be quiet while she sleeps. If I misjudge, and he is not tired enough to nap, he plays quietly in their room.

If you don't make any progress with the napping, you could try putting him to bed an hour earlier at night to make up the difference in the amount of sleep. Hope it works out!

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