Ready to Stop Co-sleeping!

I have three children, who are now 20, 16 and 14...and none of them co-sleep any longer........LOL. Seriously, though, I co-slept all of them until between the ages of 2 and 3. At that point, they moved to a mattress on the floor of our room, then the mattress went to the floor of their room, and eventually to the bed in their room. The whole process took several months, and there were occasional setbacks, but it DOES work, and she WON'T still be sleeping with you by the time she starts to school. :)

All I can tell you is that they will phase it out themselves when they're ready. My daughter did it around 12 months. Although she is now back with us, but that's just due to our current living situation. At any rate when she was ready she didn't WANT to be in our bed - so we put her in her own room and although she creid for a little bit at first - she went to bed quickly thereafter. The point is if you're a firm believer in attachment parenting (or co-sleeping) just know that no one who has done this has a kid in high school still in their bed, know what I mean?

I think you have already passed the cut-off time for easily transitioning her to her own bed, or maybe there never is one. My kids transitioned easily to their own beds at age 3. My point is that you can definitely do it before 12, but I feel that 6 months is too young. Before the age of one, babies are in the stage where security needs are very important for normal brain development. A baby is still very dependent on the adult and needs to be breastfeeding through the night.

Hey there-

My son and I have shared my bed since the day we came home from the hospital. He is now 19months old and just about 2 weeks ago we started him sleeping in his crib. He is now sleeping in his crib every night, all night and for his naps. I started off with just letting him hang out in the crib while I folded laundry in the room. We them moved to laying down with a favorite blanket, music and mommy on the bed near by. Any time he was upset I would tell him that I loved him, hugged him and laid him back down. After a few nights of doing this 10-12 times he has settled into the crib and me hanging on the bed. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night but I stayed firm- hugged him, told him I loved him and laid him back down. Some nights there were tears other nites just sweet dreams. We are still working on the nap time. Some days it is a struggle with tears, most of the time he just falls asleep. All I can tell you for sure is to not give up. It will be hard but you can do it. Just remember to make being in a seperate bed enjoyable. Read to your child, listen to music, reassure them and let them know that they are doing a good thing by accomplishing this change. For me the hardest part is my now lonely bed. As a single Mom it was really hard for me to accept this change.

I also co-sleep with my 13 month old. I started when he hit seperation anxiety at the age of 8 months, so if you do it now, be ware that she may wind right back in your bed in a few months! What I have read in the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" is to put a sleeping place for baby in your room, and start right next to your bed, then after a while move it father away until she is in her own room. I definitely reccommend this book as I don't beleive in crying it out either! Good luck!

R.,

Don't worry, your daughter won't be in your bed until she's 12. We basically co-slept with our first, who happens to be 12 now, and believe me, she found her independence and made it out of our room. If your little one is only 6 months old, don't fret. Enjoy those precious moments, as you will blink and it'll be over.

I've got mixed feelings on the co-sleeping subject and find that although it's wonderful, it can be a bit more difficult to get them sleeping on their own. Also, if you nurse, it's even more difficult as I always found they fell asleep at the breast and I always wondered, are they figuring out how to go to sleep on their own. I read the Dr. Ferber book with my first one and decided the cry it out method wasn't for us. She ended up making it to her own bed by the time she was 2 - a far cry from 12! :)

My second child came along and I vowed I would do it differently just to try it "the other way" I always found the co-sleeping enjoyable, although again, I wondered, is this the best thing for getting my child to sleep on his own? I sucked it up and really it only took 2 - 3 nights of pretty minimal crying to get him on his own. Today, he is my BEST sleeper - he's 10 and announces when he's tired that he's going to bed. My 3rd and 4th have come along since then and you know, we're enjoying our 14 month old, who now just started sleeping thru the night in her own crib.

Thinking back to the transition, I guess we did it gradually with our first. May be a bed on the floor in your room and then I think I remember usually lying down next to her on her floor next to her bed for the first few days. Of course, there was always a blankie or some other snuggly thing for her source of comfort. Don't get me wrong, we had our nights of visiting, but we made it through.

My thought I guess is this, enjoy the time - it goes so fast and you know, there's no right or wrong on the sleep issue. You know your baby best and I'm a firm believer in go with your gut and listen to your baby. Chances are she'll be on her own before you realize where the time went.

Hope that offers you something.

Are you currently enjoying cosleeping? If not, go ahead and change it. If so, keep doing it! You know your needs AND your child's needs the best - if you decide to transition her, just remain flexible and aware as always, and you'll know whether she's ready (she'll tell you, loud and clear).

We are currently cosleeping w/ our 9 month old, and our 3.5 yr old coslept with us until 2 or 2.5 yrs. We just made sure to do a gradual transition. If my memory is correct, she was in our bed, then sometime after 12 mos old, we put a smaller bed right next to our bed where she slept for a while. She did do naps in her crib, or if I napped w/ her we did the bed. At some point we moved that secondary bed to her own room, and one of us snuggled her to sleep before joining the other parent back in the parents' bedroom. We had an open door policy where she could come in if she needed, and some days she would climb in for an early morning snuggle around 5am, which was fine for us! We enjoyed her company. The whole thing was gentle, gradual, and worked well for all of us - if someone felt like something wasn't working, we'd tweak it as needed. Now at 3.5 yrs, we do a bedtime routine, finish with a book and hugs/kisses, then lights out and maybe a 5 minute snuggle, but it's pretty low maintenance at this point. (So please don't worry about having a 12 yr old in your bed - that's just ridiculous - seriously!)

At six months old, I'm sure the transition would look a bit different, but just remember that there are *sooo* many big changes coming up physically and developmentally that might make for a more challenging transition (teething, walking, talking, more mature small and large motor skills, etc.) than if you waited another 12 months. HOWEVER, if *you* have reached your limit and are unhappy cosleeping, definitely make some changes. A good, calm, predictable bedtime routine will help as well as making her own room/sleep environment a really inviting, soothing, comfortable space.

Best of luck to you guys in finding the right balance/sleeping arrangements!

Hi R.! We just transitioned our six month old to his crib about a month ago. I was very worried about his response to sleeping alone, but he did great! A couple of things that I think worked in our favor are that he was already napping in his crib and we began giving him a blankie (lovie) while he was still in bed with us which he now uses in his own bed. We also created a bedtime ritual that started while he was still in bed with us and continues now that he is in his own bed so he know what to expect. I think I miss him more than he misses us- but we are all getting better sleep! Lots of luck!
(We began preping him with this stuff about two weeks before we moved him so if you are not doing any of this- fear not, it is not too late!)

There is a book called the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" maybe it will be helpful to you.

why dont you try puuting her to sleep in her on bed and when shes asleep go back to bed,but first try putting her bed in your room so she wont cry then she will get used to sleeping in her own bed let me know if that helps any

I AGREE WITH TIFFANY L. MY FIRST CHILD JAMIE SLEPT WITH US UNTIL HE WAS A LITTLE OVER A YEAR. WE HAD PUT HIS BED AT THE FOOT OF OUR BED AT FIRST SO THAT HE GOT USED TO IT THEN AFTER ABOUT 2-3 MOS. WE MOVED HIM INTO HIS BIG BIY ROOM. HE STILL OCCASIONALLY WILL COME IN THE ROOM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO SLEEP WITH MOMMY AND DADDY AND HE IS 5 BUT THE INTRUSION IS MOST WELCOME BECAUSE IT MAKES US FEEL HE STILL REMEMBERS THE FUN WE WOULD HAVE IN THE MORNINGS TRYING TO WAKE DADDY UP!LOL

We didn't co-sleep with our daughter but she had a hard time switching from her crib to a big girl bed. We took turns sitting in her room with her until she would fall asleep. And then once she got a little more comfortable we would tell her that we would come back and check on her. It seemed to help her knowing we were always right there if she needed us and would still check on her to make sure she was ok. Good luck.

start by putting the crib in your room. Then after that has gone well for a while (a couple weeks or so) move her to her own room with a night light and keep the door open. You may have to have a chair or something up there so she can see you. I would let mine fall asleep in my arms then lay them in their crib. But you should start now. I have heard that after 9 months it only gets harder.

I would just try it and see how she acts. It may not be as bad and as hard as you may think. My son slept with me almost every night until he was 2. When I finally broke down and put him in his own bed, it went really well. I thought that he would be really scared and afraid of the dark. But it was a breeze. But I would do it now. Also put a night light in her room too with her. This seems to kind of reassure them that they're safe.

Good luck on the transition!

Hello R.,
I always say co-sleeping is the best natural birth control. No seriously.
I put both of my kids in their own beds, in their own rooms when they turned 4 months. I think I let them stay in my room because I was too lazy to get up not because it was better for them. From the beginning though they knew that daytime is for playing and nightime is for sleeping because we kept it low key at night when they'd wake up to nurse. I kept the lights to a minimum. No talking or eye contact. Just eat and go back to sleep. I think that made it easy.
When they went to sleep in their own room they would cry a little bit. I'd wait for a couple of minutes to see if they'd calm down by themselves and if they didn't stop I'd go in and rub their backs and cover them up and then leave. Wait and go in again. Make the interims longer and longer evry time. If they're screaming their heads off I would pick them up and sing or rock them a little but until they're calm and drowzy NOT ASLEEP! The key is to put them in bed drowsy and sleepy. This will avoid having them depend on something to sleep. The whole point is to help them comfort themselves and learn to go back to sleep on their own.

For my daughter, we gave her a blanket that we had on our bed and put it on her bed, it is her special mommy and daddy blankie.